


The Stars and Back

by nuttinonice



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam Is Alive AU, Adam is alive as a source of angst lol so, Alien Biology, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Bottom Keith (Voltron), Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Domestic, Domestic Disputes, Domestic Fluff, Dry Sex, Early Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Grinding, He's not a happy camper, IKEA, Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith goes into heat but not like /really/ bc he's only half galra so, M/M, Medication, Mild Heat??, Moving In Together, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SHEITH - Freeform, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, mild emotional time, post-season 6, the paladins come back to earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-06-29 17:30:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 111,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15734115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttinonice/pseuds/nuttinonice
Summary: With Shiro revived, the paladins head back to a peaceful Earth. Everyone has their families to go to, but what's Keith supposed to do? Shiro may have loved him in space, but things might be different on Earth. He can't bring himself to pilot again, so... What now?Alright, Kogane. Get your head on straight. Nothing is different because you’re on Earth. You love Shiro. And Shiro loves you. Hopefully. Right?He’d told Shiro he loved him. Shiro had come back to him and returned those same words. They’d kissed for the first time. A real kiss – not just a peck on the forehead like they’d shared before – and in front of the whole paladin team too. That was when Keith had started knowing this was for real. Or so he’d thought.- A post-canon fic following keith and shiro's domestic relationship after the war -





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> In case it's confusing, I did start writing this fic before season 7 so consider it canon-compliant up until season 6 with the exception of Keith/Shiro having a slightly established relationship! Please keep an eye on the rating as it will eventually turn explicit (spoiler alert lol).

Keith didn’t know what to expect when they got back to Earth. The celebrations didn’t surprise him. The Garrison’s apology for expelling him was a bit of a shock, but there was still nothing waiting for him on Earth. He had no family to return to, no fallback career. 

When the celebrations were over, everyone reunited with their families, but Keith and Shiro. With parents long gone, there wasn’t really a place to go.

“Um… Where are you going to stay the night?” Keith asked as they left Garrison property. He figured Shiro had to have things more figured out than he did. Shiro had gotten a hefty settlement and a new arm from the Garrison as an apology for labeling the Kerberos failure as pilot error and was invited back to pilot, or teach, whatever he wanted to do. He probably wouldn’t give them an answer for a while, but Keith was sure he was happy to know he still had a life on Earth. Keith wished he could feel certain about that.

“I guess I’ll have to get a hotel.” Shiro sighed. “Not like they have my old apartment waiting for me or anything. What about you?”

“I’m sure my place in the desert has fallen to pieces, so probably same, but um…” He bit his lip. There wasn’t a penny to his name and was Shiro going to stay by himself? Keith didn’t want him doing that. Shiro got seriously bad nightmares sometimes, or flashbacks, or panic attacks. Keith wasn’t too great on his own either anymore. After losing Shiro _multiple_ times, it made his heart ache to be away from him. “Shiro, are you gonna stay by yourself?”

“Do you want to come get a room with me?”

“Y-Yeah, but I don’t have any money.” Keith grimaced.  

“Keith.” Shiro rolled his eyes. “It’s on me. Come on, let’s find a place to call a cab and we’ll crash somewhere we can stand to stay in for a little while.”

Keith breathed a sigh of relief and walked close to him as they found the nearest pay phone to call a cab. Everything felt unsure. He thanked the Altean Gods that he at least had a night with Shiro.

Shiro kept his hand on Keith’s knee in the backseat of the cab, sending tingles up his whole leg as they rode to the nearest hotel. It wasn’t like Keith wasn’t used to touching. Shiro almost always had a hand on his shoulder and when he had his nightmares at the castle, Keith would always come calm him down and lie with him until he fell back asleep – then he’d slip back to his own room.

Shiro booked them a room with two beds _indefinitely_ when they arrived.

“We can stay here until we figure things out.” Shiro said, setting his bags down and locking the door behind them.

The room wasn’t bad. There was a flat screen TV and the beds looked cozy. Keith poked his head in to check out the bathroom and blushed at the large bath tub. He knew it wouldn’t happen, but a guy could dream. Two people could easily fit.

“So uh, I can take this one.” Keith said, setting his bag down on the one furthest from the door.

“Go ahead. Today was exhausting.” Shiro sighed as he flopped down on the other bed. “How are you um… holding up?”

 “Tch.” Keith shrugged. How was he supposed to answer that? He still had no clue where their relationship stood for one thing. Sure, they’d confessed their love in space and they’d kissed a few times in the heat of the moment. The feelings were clear, but they’d been too wrapped up in the chaos of Voltron to actually have a relationship. Now that it was all over, what were they? Keith had a hunch it may have all just been because of circumstance. All they had was each other in space. It might not be the same here. “I’m fine, I guess. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do now.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

We?

“I bet we missed like a million good movies while we were gone. Want to come sit over here and find something to watch?”

“Sounds great.” Keith smiled, shrugging off his jacket and kicking his shoes to the floor before he went to join Shiro on the other bed. They weren’t strangers to cuddling, but they’d never done it outside of the context of providing much needed comfort in a crisis.

“Don’t be so stressed.” Shiro said, wrapping his human arm around Keith’s shoulders and grabbing the remote with the other. “Things aren’t too different now.”

“Okay.” Keith sighed and sank right into Shiro’s touch, resting his head on his shoulder and shutting his eyes.

He didn’t even watch whatever movie Shiro picked out. He just listened to his heart beat and the rhythm of his breathing, thankful that Shiro wasn’t pushing him away now that they didn’t have space drama to push them together. Maybe the love was still real.

It was late at night when the movie ended an hour and a half later, Keith’s heart sinking at the thought of going back to his own bed. “I’m gonna get showered and hit the hay.” He said when Shiro removed his arm. “Do you want to go first or anything?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna change and go right to sleep.”

Keith nodded and pulled away, taking his pajamas from his bag, so he could change before locking himself in the bathroom.

_Alright, Kogane. Get your head on straight. Nothing is different because you’re on Earth. You love Shiro. And Shiro loves you. Hopefully. Right?_

Keith cursed under his breath and stripped down, reaching behind the curtain to get the hot water going. He caught a look at himself in the mirror and traced the scar on his face with his fingers. Shiro always looked at it with guilt, but Keith loved it. It was a constant reminder. He’d told Shiro he loved him. Shiro had come back to him and returned those same words. They’d kissed for the first time. A _real_ kiss – not just a peck on the forehead like they’d shared before – and in front of the whole paladin team too. That was when Keith had started knowing this was for real. Or so he’d thought.

Keith ran over everything in his head when he stepped under the hot water. He’d told Shiro he loved him. Shiro had come back and said he loved him too. They’d kissed. They’d kissed a few more times after that when Keith was scared, or when Shiro had an especially bad panic attack that Keith had brought him out of, but never anything past that. He’d lay with Shiro until he fell asleep, but he hadn’t spent the night with him in the same bed before. That was still a relationship, right? At least by space standards?

Ugh, he didn’t know what to think. He had _no experience_ with this. Shiro had practically been engaged before.

Keith stayed under the water until it ran cold, wishing that he had the nerve to just give Shiro a goodnight kiss. Everything felt unsure. Shiro was supposed to be the one thing he could always count on.

When he shut off the water and towel-dried his hair, he heard the familiar sound of Shiro groaning from his bed. Shit, he must have fallen asleep already.

Keith scrambled to pull on his boxer-briefs and rushed out of the bathroom to see Shiro tossing and turning. “Takashi.” He murmured when he ran up to his beside, turning the lamp on to give him some light as he reached over to shake his shoulders. “Takashi, it’s me. It’s Keith.” He was the only one allowed to call him that and it always calmed him. Almost always. “Hey, come on. You gotta wake up.”

Shiro’s eyes flew open and he gasped, his metal fingers ripping a hole in the bed sheets as he jerked up, chest heaving as he looked around the unfamiliar room.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” Keith whispered, sitting next to him and pulling him straight into a hug. “I’m right here, Takashi. I’m right here. You’re safe. You’re so, so safe and I’m not going to let anything else hurt you.”

“Holy shit.” Shiro breathed. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Keith said, still holding him. He did work up the nerve to press a few kisses into his white hair. It was something he’d been doing for a long time and it made Shiro relax into his arms.

“Thank you.” Shiro said, nuzzling his cheek against Keith’s shoulder. “I hope they stop soon… I mean, now that I don’t have to worry about getting lost, or captured, or tortured, I hope maybe it’ll just… stop.”

“I don’t think it works that way.” Keith sighed. “You’ve been through a lot. It’ll take time to get over.”

“I guess.” Shiro grimaced. “Sorry to scare you.”

“You don’t scare me.” Keith grinned, running his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Shiro nodded, his cheeks a little pink as he pulled back and looked Keith over.

“What?”

“You’ve uh… Never been this naked before?” He laughed. “Sorry, it just caught me off guard.”

“Shit!” Keith jerked back and looked down at himself. He was in his fucking _underwear_. “S-Sorry, let me go get my pajamas on. I-I just heard you and I-“

“Keith, Keith, it’s fine.” Shiro smiled, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back. “I was just surprised. You look beautiful.”

_Beautiful_? Keith blushed so hard his eyes glowed. “Takashi, I… I-I um…”

“What?”

Fuck. “Takashi, I have to ask you something.” Keith sighed, his shoulders slumping at the thought of an answer he might not want to hear. “What… What are we? What am I to you? It’s been driving me crazy ever since we set the course for Earth.”

Shiro stopped and blinked. “Huh? Keith, you’re my everything.”

“But what does that mean?” Keith swallowed. “A-Am I your best friend and we just got kind of emotional with everything going on in space? Am I your boyfriend or something? I’ve never done _any_ of this. I have no life on Earth anymore and I-I didn’t have much of one to start with.” He stared down at his feet. “You could have anyone here.”

“I don’t want anyone else here. I want you.” Shiro pushed himself out of bed and put his hands on Keith’s shoulders. “Keith, I thought you knew that. I love you.”

“But _how_ do you love me?”

“I don’t know, in the way that makes my heart go crazy seeing you in your underwear.” Shiro laughed. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I _love_ you Keith. Like _love_ love.”

Keith knew his eyes were glowing and his face probably was too with how red he’d turned. “Are you sure?”

“Always.” Shiro’s human hand came up to touch his cheek, his thumb running over Keith’s lips. “Is that what you wanted me to say?”

Keith gave a weak nod. “I-I love you too. Like… _love_ love. I kind of always have even when you were with Adam and I shouldn’t have.”

“That long?”

“When did it start for you?”

“When you saved me after I crash landed here. After Kerberos.” Shiro reached up and ran his hands through Keith’s hair. “When did it actually start for you?”

“When I got outted at the Garrison and you stood up for me.” Keith sighed. “I know I was young then and it wasn’t right to have a crush on you, but… I felt so alone when they found out I was gay. No one liked me to begin with and then the bullying started which meant the fighting started and you were the only one that kept me from getting expelled. I loved you.” He shrugged, knowing how yellow his eyes must look in the dark. They lit right up when he was embarrassed.

“Oh Keith.” Shiro sighed, pulling him into a hug and kissing the top of his head. “I can’t imagine what it was like for you after Kerberos.”

“I mean, yeah. No one could really stand up for me anymore, so when I got jumped in the dorms and had to defend myself, I was the only one who got in trouble. They wanted to expel me since day one and without you there to defend me anymore, well… you know.”

 That wasn’t the  _ whole _ thing. Keith didn’t want to go into how he’d been caught naked with another cadet. He’d thought Shiro was  _ dead _ and he was the only one who knew about the other gay student in their class. He thought sex would ease the pain a bit, but it got him expelled. Lord knows what happened to the guy he was hooking up with after they got caught and jumped like that.

“That’s what happened?” Shiro frowned. They hadn’t had much time to talk about what happened in the year Shiro disappeared, before Keith rescued him and lead the others to the Blue Lion. Everything had happened so fast over the years in space. There wasn’t time. “I never should have left. I know we did a lot of good, but sometimes I just wish… I don’t know.”

“I’m glad it happened. I had a purpose for a little while.” Keith sighed. “Plus, if you hadn’t gone, I… I don’t know if I ever would have had you. You had Adam.”

“Adam and I weren’t perfect. Even if I didn’t go to Kerberos, I don’t think he would have stayed throughout my illness and I didn’t want to tie someone down to me when I was sick. I guess I am glad everything happened because now I have you, but I just…” Shiro winced and traced over the scar on Keith’s cheek. “I wish I hadn’t hurt you.”

“Really? I think the scar looks really cool.” Keith laughed. “Um… I’m still kind of naked, do you want me to go get dressed? We can keep talking.”

“You can if you want to, but I don’t mind it.”

“Okay, um… I can just leave it.”

“I love when your eyes glow.” Shiro said, his voice soft as he pulled away and got back in bed. “Come here.”

Keith crawled into bed with him and used all his will power not to purr when Shiro’s human arm wrapped around him.

“How bad was the bullying when I left?”

“Worse.” Keith chuckled. “So much worse. I couldn’t go anywhere. I was just the faggot cadet and I was getting in fights all the time until too many of them cornered me. I broke one of their noses and that was the final straw for me being enrolled.”

“That’s not right.” Shiro huffed, stroking his hand down Keith’s back. “The Garrison needs to be held responsible for how they treated you, you know? I’m gonna have a long talk with administration when I go back there. They need to do right by you too.”

Keith’s heart softened a bit. “Thanks, Shiro.”

“The Holts are getting a settlement too, but shit, what about you?” Shiro glared. “You had to go through trauma because the Garrison can’t be bothered to handle bullying or homophobia of any kind. The only reason I ever got away with being out was because I was top of the class. If I had struggled, they would have let the same thing happen to me.” His hold tightened a little bit on Keith. “I don’t know if you still want to be a pilot after what you’ve been through, but… If you do, I’ll fight for you, Keith. They owe you. They don’t get to take your future.”

“Shiro…” Keith had to blink his eyes to keep from crying and pressed into his chest, relishing in the feeling of Shiro’s hand on his bare skin. “Thank you.” He swallowed. He didn’t know if he still wanted to be a pilot, but it meant the world that Shiro would stand up for him. “Can I um… Can I kiss you?”

“You never have to ask.” Shiro whispered and Keith sprang up to press their lips together, melding right against Shiro and letting him feel all the love and warmth that was stirring his chest.

He didn’t want to let go, so he stayed, his hands on Shiro’s broad chest, feeling the muscle through his t-shirt as they kissed. It felt safe, familiar. Then he felt Shiro’s tongue for the first time. There was a pang of anxiety at something new, but Keith pushed through it. He wanted this. He parted his lips and stifled a groan when he felt the gentle brush of Shiro’s tongue against his own. Shiro was always so careful.

It was wet and warm like Keith craved and he could feel his temperature rising a little, eyes glowing in the dark. He let his hand come up to Shiro’s cheek, feeling the heat coming off of his face as the kiss deepens even further. He leans up at first, relishing in the passion until he feels himself growing hard and pulls away, panting as he settles himself so his dick presses against the mattress and not against Shiro’s thigh. “Christ, Takashi.”

“I love when you call me that.” Shiro breathed, his hand still stroking down Keith’s back.

“I’m glad that you let me.” Keith blushed as his heart continued to pound in his chest. He would even go so far as to let Shiro strip him down, but he was anxious about being caught. The hotel room might be locked, but so was the room to his dorm when the incident happened. Shit, what other kind of dumb sex anxieties was he going to have now?

“We’ll figure out what’s next in the morning.” Shiro said. “Do you want to sleep like this?”  

“Can I?”

“Of course you can.” He smiled, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s hair. “I always hated that you left before morning.”

“Really? I didn’t think you’d want me to stay.”

“I always did.” Shiro squeezed him to emphasize. “You don’t have to though. I know it can be really jarring when I have nightmares.”

“It’s fine. I’ll stay.” Keith said, nuzzling his cheek against Shiro’s chest. “It really has been a long day. We should sleep.” He decided to indulge himself a little bit more, leaning up to kiss the scar on Shiro’s nose. “Wake me up if you need anything okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled, his arm still wrapped securely around Keith’s shoulders. “Thanks, Keith.”

“Anything for you.” He shrugged. “Sleep tight.”

**

The change of scenery wasn’t helping Shiro’s nightmares. He kept waking up, not understanding where he was, having to be talked down by Keith in slow, soothing words just to get a handle on his breathing. They would need new sheets for tomorrow night. Shiro had sweat right through them.

“I’m so fucking sorry. I’m keeping you awake.” Shiro croaked as Keith spooned him, his hand under his t-shirt rubbing his upset stomach in slow, soothing circles to ease the anxiety.

“Shh, you’re fine.” Keith cooed. “I’m right here.” He pulled back a little and tugged at the hem of Shiro’s shirt. “Take this off, Takashi. It’s soaked now.”

“No one tells you the worst part of PTSD is how fucking gross you are all the time. I hate the sweating.” Shiro sighed, sitting up and tugging his shirt off. Keith had seen it before. The strong torso littered with deep scars. Keith could always feel the way they rose from his skin on his back.

He had a thought, but he wasn’t sure if it was selfish or not. He shouldn’t use helping Shiro as a guise for his personal fantasies, but… maybe it could be both? “Takashi, you can say no, but… There’s a really, really big bath tub. Do you want to maybe get in for a minute?”

“Come with me?”

“Of course.” Keith nodded, already sliding out of bed.  

“Are you comfortable um…”

Keith’s heart nearly pounded out of his chest at the idea, but he really did think that a bath would help calm Shiro down enough to sleep for good. It was already four in the morning. They had plenty of time to sleep in if he could just get Shiro to actually rest. “I’m comfortable.” He nodded.

“Thank you.” Shiro breathed, his shoulders slumping in relief as Keith turned the light on and pulled him out of bed.

“I always like to take a hot bath or something when I’m tense. It helps.” Keith glanced back to make sure the hotel room door was had all three locks actually locked then locked the bathroom door behind them as well to ensure himself they had privacy.

 “Take some deep breaths.” Keith said before turning on the faucet in the tub, holding his hand under the water to make sure it was warm enough before plugging the drain. It seemed to be the only luxurious thing about the hotel room. The bathtub fit into the corner of the room, leaving a large square space for them to easily sit. Keith wasn’t going to get in unless Shiro asked him too though. This wasn’t just a romantic ploy. “Come get in. I can leave if you want.”

Shiro shook his head, his cheeks dusted pink a bit as he stared at the rising water. “Don’t go.”

“Do you want to get in with your underwear on? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know you’re kind of shaken up right now.”

“You’re always so understanding.” Shiro let out a low laugh. “I’m okay. Are you?”

Keith nodded.

“Your eyes totally give you away.” Shiro smiled as he dropped his shorts and underwear.

Keith nearly choked at the sight of him. “Jesus Christ Shiro, how do you _walk_?”

“Hm?” He glanced down at himself. “Oh. I guess it is a little… I don’t know, big?” He shrugged and stepped past Keith to get in the water, groaning when he sank down and Keith shut off the faucet. “You were right. This feels really good.”

“Yeah?” Keith put his shock aside and smiled at the serene look on Shiro’s face, reaching over to comb his fingers through the his white hair. He tried not to be obvious, but he did ogle him a bit through the water. He found himself worrying a bit about being able to fit that thing inside of him if they had sex.

“Yeah.” Shiro breathed. “Are you coming in?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Kind of.” Shiro nodded. “I’m a little… shaken up. You don’t have to though.”

“I mean.” Keith glanced down at Shiro’s dick with raised eyebrows. “You’ve kind of intimidated me now.”

“Don’t be like that.” Shiro laughed. “I can’t help it.”

“It does suit you.”

“And I’m sure yours does too.”

Keith rolled his eyes and stood up to remove his boxer-briefs. He was nervous, letting the love of his life see him naked for the first time, but it was still Shiro. It was hard to feel unsafe in any way with him, so he dropped the black fabric to the floor and smiled when he saw Shiro blushing. He definitely wasn’t as big as Shiro, but he wasn’t exactly small either.

He stepped into the water with Shiro and sighed at the heat, sitting on the opposite end of the tub with his legs folded between Shiro’s. He tried not to think about how close his toes were to _that part_ of him.

“So do you want to talk about it?”

“Hm?” Shiro raised his eyebrows.

“Not my dick, your dream.” Keith rolled his eyes, nuzzling his foot a bit against Shiro’s thigh under the water. “The prison again?”

“It usually is.” He frowned, staring down at his lap. “Tonight it’s been a lot of the arena. I can’t really forget that as easily as I can forget some of the torture because I was just so conscious for it.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith grimaced, putting a hand on his calf just to be touching him. “I can’t imagine.”

“You had your own torment.” Shiro shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry I disappeared so many times.”

“I just care that you’re here now.”

They stayed and soaked for a little while until Shiro held out his arms and Keith had the courage to fall into them, lying against him back to chest with Shiro’s arms wrapped around him as they breathed together. His eyes burned from being woken up so late at night, but he was here for Shiro. He could be wide awake for hours after nightmares sometimes.

“I was worried you might go off on your own when you landed. Thanks for sticking by me right now.” Shiro murmured against his hair. “I know you’re tired.”

“I’m fine.” Keith yawned, eyes shut as he leaned back against him. He would stay there for hours if the water wasn’t turning cold. “I didn’t want to be on my own either.”

“I think I can sleep now. You want to get out?”

“In a minute.” Keith sighed, turning to nuzzle his cheek against Shiro’s shoulder. “I feel safe here.”


	2. The Stars and Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! I just moved so things have been hectic, don't forget to subscribe! I'll be updating weekly at the latest now

Keith panicked when he woke up naked, but only for a moment. Shiro had a tight hold on him with his human arm, the hover prosthetic off and laid over the nightstand. He tensed for a moment until he remembered the long night before. They’d just fallen into bed after the bath.

“Morning.” Shiro mumbled, pressing a lazy kiss to the back of Keith’s neck.

“Hey.” Keith coughed, clearing his throat before rolling over in Shiro’s arms and snuggling into his chest. They really were still naked. He could feel Shiro’s morning wood against his hip, but for some reason, he just felt comfortable. No panic over what it meant, just… normalcy. Nothing felt weird.

Shiro seemed to be just as at ease, tightening his hold on Keith and kissing the top of his head. “You’re crazy warm.” He mumbled. “Sorry for keeping you up.”

“It’s fine.” Keith yawned. “I don’t mind.”

“Do you want to get breakfast? We can try to figure some things out.”

“That sounds hard. I like the breakfast part.”

“We can’t live in a hotel.” Shiro let out a gruff laugh and tugged the blankets further up over their shoulders. “We’re back on Earth. Let me take you on a real date.”

Keith’s heart thumped. “What, like brunch?”

“Mhm.”

“I’ve never really done that.”

“First time for everything.” Shiro gave him a squeeze and nudged him to the side, so he could get out of bed. “Let’s get dressed.”

**

“I can’t believe this place is still open.” Shiro beamed as he looked over the menu, Keith sweating from across the table.

They were  _ horribly _ under dressed and Keith seemed to be the only one aware of it. They were in a fancy café, surrounded by people in their Sunday best while Keith had on dusty jeans and a t-shirt. It was painfully public, surrounded by other full tables of people, rather than tucked away in a booth in the back like he’d pictured. He felt like if he breathed the wrong way, one of these guys in suits would swing around in their chair to call him a faggot.

“What are you gonna get? It’s on me, get whatever you want.”

Keith squirmed at the prospect of Shiro paying for him again and glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was staring at them.

“What’s wrong?” Shiro lowered his menu and frowned. “Hey, I know we’re a little underdressed, but-“

“What if someone looks at us?” Keith frowned, chewing the inside of his cheek as he looked around.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re two men on a date aren’t we?” He said, quiet enough just to be heard by Shiro.

“Keith…” Shiro’s eyebrows pushed together in concern. “Hey, there’s nothing to be scared of. I hardly ever had to deal with harassment when I went out on dates before and I’m sure things have gotten better since we left.”

Keith just shrugged and squirmed around in his chair some more. He wanted to retreat to the privacy of the hotel.

“Keith?” Shiro reached across the table to put a hand over his, but he ripped it away. Keith didn’t miss the flash of hurt that came across Shiro’s face when he did it. “I… Sorry, I’m just trying to… I don’t know what to say, do you want to just go back?” He sighed, putting his menu down and Keith’s heart dropped at the disappointment in his voice.

“No, no, fuck, you were excited to come here. I just… I’m not good in public.” He picked at a tear in his jeans and felt himself blush under Shiro’s gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just get something to eat, okay? I’ll ask for the check right when our food comes and we’ll leave as soon as we’re done.”

“Thank you.” He looked back down at the menu. “Can you order for me?”

“Sure.”

The waitress gave them a funny look when she arrived, which put Keith right on the defensive, glaring hard back at her until Shiro cleared his throat and ordered in that kind, polite tone that would smooth anyone over.

“I’ll take you clothes shopping later.” Shiro said and Keith choked on his water.

“ _What_?” He spluttered, quickly wiping his mouth and ignoring the evil eyes other people were throwing him.

“We both need all new clothes.” He shrugged. “Then I think we should look into a place to actually live. Do you um… I-I don’t want to be presumptuous.” Shiro blushed and Keith’s heart started pounding. “Do you want to just move in together? We’ve been living in rooms right next to each other at the castle for years now and um… I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, but the invitation’s open.”

“I mean… where else do I have to go?”

“But do you want to?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathed, nodding his head. “I do.” He hadn’t lived with anyone since the early days at the orphanage and the short periods at different foster homes. He considered himself more of a loner, but this was Shiro. Maybe with him, he’d finally have a real place to call home.

“Would you uh… Would you be comfortable at one of the Garrison apartments because that’s probably where I’m heading.” Shiro bit his lip. “Would you be okay?”

Fuck. He definitely preferred to be further from the Garrison than right on it, but he knew Shiro was probably going to be working with them and he didn’t want to force him to commute. Plus, what could he say against it? He wasn’t the one paying for it. “That’s fine. I’d be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I’ll make it work.”

They ate quickly, partly out of starvation and partly because of Keith’s obvious discomfort in the place. He turned bright red when Shiro asked for one check and the waitress shot him a glance. He just wanted to retreat back to privacy where he could be as stupid and clingy with Shiro as he wanted without anyone there to make him feel judged.

Keith prayed for a quick hotel break when they left the restaurant, but Shiro dragged him straight to the mall – the most populated place they could _possibly_ go. He had to admit, it was a little adorable watching Shiro shop, but he detested picking out clothes for himself. Shiro was practically beaming as he picked out Hawaiian shirts and new tight jeans, cozy pajamas, a new bathrobe.

Keith knew he wouldn’t make it out of there without at least picking out something, so he checked the size on his jeans and got three more identical pairs with a few more black t-shirts. Shiro had raised his eyebrows when he brought it all over, but didn’t protest, only insisting on buying Keith one of the bath robes too since they were on sale and the fluffiest thing he’d ever seen.

Then it was off to the Apple store.

“Takashi, no.” Keith said with wide eyes. “You are not buying me a phone. Those things are so expensive and I don’t even know how to work the new ones, don’t-“

“I want you to have one. We’re not gonna be attached at the hip twenty-four seven and I want to be able to reach you.” Shiro handed him an iPhone - Keith’s eyes widening at how many updates they’d missed since leaving - and cocked his head towards the counter. “We can be done after this.”

“Alright.” Keith sighed, shoulders slumped in defeat as he followed Shiro to checkout. He did want to stay connected to Shiro – mostly because of the panic attack situation – but he hated how much money was being spent on him. He would have to work hard not to be a burden.

**

 “You know I had a flip phone before we left.” Keith grumbled as he tried to figure everything out on the small screen. He didn’t like that it didn’t have buttons. Phones were such a tactile thing and as much as he loved the high tech world they lived in, he also just liked pushing buttons. It was a simple pleasure that the modern world had apparently tossed to the winds.

 “Really? Even I had an iPhone back then and I was broke.” Shiro laughed as he turned in front of the hotel mirror, dressed in new black jeans and a red Hawaiian shirt - as if those two things typically went together, but of course it worked on Shiro.

 Keith had never pegged him for such a fashion guru before – considering he only ever saw him in uniform, armor, pajamas, or the one outfit he’d brought to space, but he seemed to get a huge kick out of just trying on clothes.

 “Are you gonna change? I know you just bought more of the same clothes, but at least they’re clean. I’m gonna make you buy actual outfits next time, you know.”

 “Alright.” Keith sighed, abandoning his effort at setting his lock screen photo and getting up to change. 

 He liked that they could take their clothes off now. There wasn’t a question about that boundary anymore, so he stripped right down and pulled on a new pair of jeans, grimacing a bit at the stiffness, and one of the new shirts to match. He looked exactly the same, but now the look was expensive. Kind of a waste.

 “How do you feel?”

 “The same?”

 “But these are so much nicer.” Shiro smiled, turning around to caress his hip through the denim. “You look good.”

 “I mean, if you like it.” Keith shrugged.”Did you find everyone’s numbers yet?”

 “Pretty much. I texted Matt and he said we can come over for dinner if we want. That’ll be fun, right? You don’t have to stress around any of them.” 

 “That’d be nice after being around strangers all day.” He shifted from foot to foot, feeling how the fabric clung to his skin and followed his movement. It was pretty much the same, but it was softer. His old clothes had gotten pretty ratty.

 “It’s a mile away, you want to walk? I heard there’s a bunch of apps where you can just order a ride, but that sounds kind of suspicious to me.”

 “I could use a walk.” Keith said, glancing out the hotel window where it had already fallen dark out. They’d be able to see the stars.

 “Great, let’s go.” Shiro grinned, toeing on a new pair of shoes and grabbing his phone from the bed. “If we leave now, we should get there in time.”

 Keith figured going by foot might be a little relaxing and he wasn’t wrong. There weren’t many people out, they weren’t in a crowded area. It was a little hot, but Keith liked the heat. In the darkness of the late evening, he felt perfectly comfortable when Shiro reached over and held his hand. They’d never done that before.

 He spotted the nervous look on Shiro’s face when he reached for his hand and breathed a sigh of relief, threading his fingers through the other’s and squeezing. His hands were unbearably sweaty, but Shiro didn’t seem to mind it as they walked, eyes up at the stars while they tried to identify the dots in the sky they may have actually been to before.

When they got to the Holts, Keith still held tight to Shiro’s hand. There was no reason to let go and he didn’t intend on doing so any time soon – not when they were among familiar faces.

“Keith! Shiro!” Pidge beamed when she opened the door. “Come on in, the table’s set.”

It was the first time either of them had seen her in a dress and without glasses. Keith was kind of glad that everyone was getting to be themselves as they walked in and took a seat at the table. Mrs. Holt looked like she was the happiest woman alive as she set out glasses of water for everyone, Commander Holt sitting proudly at the head of the table, flanked by Pidge and Matt. Keith kept holding Shiro’s hand under the table.

“So are you guys _finally_ doing the whole relationship thing?” Pidge asked and they both turned pink, Shiro being the first to laugh and nod his head.

“I guess we actually have the time now, right?”

“It was a little hard with a war on and all.” Keith smiled, relishing in the warm feeling in his chest. Shit, he was really happy. For the first time in his life, he was someone’s boyfriend. “We’re um… We’re moving in together.”

“Really?!” Pidge nearly flipped the table with how fast she stood up, rushing over to pull them both into a hug. “That’s so great, you guys!”

“You two deserve it.” Matt shrugged between bites. “I mean if any couple’s been to hell and back it’s you guys, yeah?”

“Thanks.” Keith said, heart fluttering when Shiro squeezed his hand under the table.

“What’s the plan for you guys moving forward now?” Commander Holt asked. “Shiro, you know how much we miss you at the Garrison.”

“Iverson talked to me earlier about the settlement and about my future at the Garrison.” Shiro nodded. “I’ll be back in no time. Back to piloting and teaching in between, I suppose. I just need to take a psych eval and do a little re-training time.”

“Wait what?” Keith blinked, pulling his hand from Shiro’s grip as he stared at him, wide-eyed as his heart leapt to his throat. “Takashi, you’re gonna _pilot_ again?” Shiro hadn’t even _mentioned_ the fact that he made a decision. He’d only told Keith about the settlement they gave him and the invitation to come back. He didn’t breathe a word about the fact that he’d decided all on his own to take it.

“Um…” Shiro bilnked. “Yeah, of course. It’s my career.”

“Are you kidding me?” What the hell kind of partners were they supposed to be now if Shiro was going to make life-altering decisions without even telling him?

“No, why would I be?”

“ _Takashi_.” Keith glared, the rest of the table falling silent. This had to be some kind of sick joke. Shiro had put him through _hell_ before and now he was going to do it again.

“Keith, I…” Shiro stammered. “I thought you knew.”

“Why would you want to go back out there?!” Keith exclaimed, his fists clenched. “Shiro, you disappeared _twice_. You _died_. There’s no more second chances if something happens to you again. What the hell are you thinking?!”

“Oh goodness, I didn’t mean to bring up anything sensitive.” Commander Holt said and Keith shook his head.

How could Shiro even think about leaving him again after everything they’d been through? Maybe Keith just didn’t mean as much to him as he thought.

“Excuse me.” Keith glared, scraping his chair back and standing up before walking out. He wasn’t going to cry with an audience.

There was a black hole in his chest when he left the house, his hands trembling with frustration as he walked on the desert ground to find somewhere private enough. He wanted to scream and sob and slap Shiro so hard he’d apologize for even _thinking_ about leaving him again, but he couldn’t. What was the point of moving in together and having a relationship if Shiro was going to abandon him again?

“Keith!”

Fuck. “Go away, Shiro.” Keith gritted through his teeth. “Leave me alone.” Tears were dangerously close and he wasn’t one to cry easily. The last time he’d done it was when they brought Shiro back to life and those were tears of joy. These kinds of tears? They were humiliating.

“Keith…” Shiro ran up and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t just run away, talk to me.”

“ _I’m_ not the one who’s running away.” He said, jerking his shoulder and pulling away. “What the fuck, Takashi?”

“I really thought you knew.”

“Why would I think you’d immediately go back to being a pilot? After everything we’ve been through?” Keith felt a lump forming in his throat and stared down at the dust on his shoes. “How could you say all that stuff to me and then drop the bomb that you’ll be leaving again?”

“Keith… I love you. You know that. I just don’t know what I am if I’m not a pilot. I would never go on something like Kerberos again, just short missions. _Safe_ missions.” Shiro reached out again, but Keith stepped away.

“Do you know what it was like after Kerberos?” Keith swallowed, humiliated tears welling up in his yellow eyes. “Thinking you were dead? I was alone, Shiro. I was alone and in pain with no one to help me and then I finally got you back and you disappeared _again_.” He whipped around to face him, lips quivering. “How would you feel if I died? I can’t go through this again.” He hadn’t noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks until Shiro walked up and cupped his face.

“Keith, I would never leave you. Never.” Shiro brushed the tears away with his thumb and Keith hated how much he enjoyed the touch. He was pissed and he had every right to be. Shiro couldn’t just act sweet and make the tears go away. “Look… If you really can’t stand for me to be a pilot anymore, then… maybe I won’t. But I don’t know what else I could do, Keith. All I’ve ever been, or wanted to be, is a pilot.”

“Haven’t you lived that dream by now? You’ve saved the _universe_ , Takashi. We’ve seen every corner space has to offer.” Keith took a deep breath and leaned a little into his touch. “Shiro, if you left again, I don’t think I could take it. I won’t survive another loss. Not with you.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you so much before, but…”

“But you’re going to do it again?” Keith sniffed. “You’re gonna go out on month long missions and I’ll just have to sit and wait?”

Shiro took his hands away and grimaced. “Not if you really can’t live with it.”

“…Really?”

 “I don’t know what to do, Keith.” Shiro sighed. “You’re my everything and we’ve gone through so much, but flying has always been my life. I don’t know who I am without it.”

 Keith sighed. He knew how that felt, but it didn’t change his mind about not wanting Shiro to go back to piloting. He’d catch his death for real this time. “You know I want you to be happy. It kills me when you’re in pain and I would never want to take something away from you, but Takashi... “ He bit down hard on his lip to keep it from trembling. “My heart can’t take anymore of this. I can’t lose you again.”

 Shiro stared down at the ground - afraid to meet Keith’s eyes.

 “Why didn’t you at least talk to me first? Why would you just go ahead and tell them yes?” Keith had a bad feeling in his gut about that part - like maybe Shiro still just saw him as some kid and not as someone he really wanted to be his partner. When Shiro had confirmed for him in the hotel that he really did love him, that’s what Keith thought they would be. Partners. But partners didn’t make humongous decisions without any thought about how it would affect the other person. Partners didn’t abandon each other.

 “I’m sorry.” Shiro sighed, his shoulders slumping as he dropped his hands to Keith’s waist. “Keith, I just got so excited when they made that offer. I was terrified that the Garrison wouldn’t take me back and I’d be lost, but then that settlement and the invitation, I just… I didn’t think about it. I can always rescind.”

 “Takashi, please don’t do this.” Keith pleaded, his chest aching. “I don’t want to take anything from you, but I can’t do it. I can’t sit on Earth for months while you’re on missions and just wonder if you’re gonna come back or not.”

 “You’re right.” Shiro nodded, his expression crestfallen as he looked back up at him. Keith, you’re the only reason I’m even alive. You’ve saved me again and again and if you don’t want me to go back to space, then… I’ll stay. I can’t put you through it again.”

Keith felt his eyes well. He hadn’t expected Shiro to actually cave. “Are you going to resent me if you do that?”

“It’s my choice.” Shiro sighed and closed the space between them, pulling Keith against his chest and squeezing. “Keith, I love you. You’re coming first from now on and I might not even pass the psych eval for piloting anyways after everything that’s happened. I’ll ask Iverson to find another place for me at the Garrison.”

“Thank you.” Keith breathed, relief flooding his body as he fell into Shiro’s touch, blinking back the tears that had swelled up as he hugged him back. “I love you too.” He felt Shiro pressing his lips against his forehead and melted, sniffling as he squeezed him. “You scared the shit out of me back there.”

“I’m sorry. I should have thought more about how it’d affect you.” Shiro murmured, his hand stroking down Keith’s back. “I’m not going anywhere. Not if you don’t want me to.”

 Keith stayed there for a while, letting Shiro hold him and trying to steady his breathing. When was the last time he’d cried like this? 

 “Are you okay?”

 Keith shook his head. Shiro had practically given him a heart attack and he’d embarrassed himself in front of the whole Holt family. “What am I to you?”

 “Keith… I told you. I love you.”

 “Then why didn’t you ask me before deciding?” Keith choked, pulling back, so he could look up at him. 

 “I just…” Shiro chewed on his lip. “I didn’t think about anything.”

 “You can’t do that. You can’t. We’re in this together and you  _ have _ to ask me about things when it comes to making huge decisions, okay? I’ll lose my mind if you don’t.”

 “Okay.” Shiro breathed, nodding his head. “Look, I’m supposed to meet with Iverson and the board tomorrow. Come with me. I’ll turn down piloting and take a teaching position.”

 He didn’t look happy about it and it twisted Keith’s heart to think he was taking someone from him, but he couldn’t cave. He wouldn’t be able to handle Shiro leaving again as much as he wanted him to be happy. He might be wracked with guilt, but that was better than the misery of losing him again. “Do you hate me?”

 “I could never hate you. Don’t say that.” Shiro turned his head and leaned in for a kiss, pressing his lips against Keith’s and holding him there. 

 It sent sparks down Keith’s spine and all the way through the tips of his fingers, but his heart was still heavy as they kissed. He was so relieved, but Shiro was disappointed and he could tell. Would everyone see him as some monster ripping Shiro away from his dream? Keith shook the thought out of his head and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck. 

 All that mattered was that Shiro would be safe. The whole world could hate him then for all he cared. Shiro wasn’t going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr/twitter!! I'll be updating more frequently now!!


	3. Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro meets with the board to turn down piloting and uhh... note the rating change lol

The second night in the hotel was far worse than the first. Keith fell asleep next to him, but awoke to Shiro screaming, writhing under the sheets until Keith sprang up and shook him awake. 

“I don’t know what’s happening.” Shiro sobbed, tears rolling down his cheeks as he trembled in a pool of sweat. 

“Takashi, shhhh. Just a dream. You’re okay. You’re okay and I’m right here. It’s Keith.” He cooed as he held Shiro’s human hand in his own, bringing it to his lips to kiss his palm. “Breathe deep, Takashi.”

“Keith.” Shiro rasped as he looked around the room, his chest rising and falling. “Keith, hold me. Please.”

Keith nodded and laid back down, rolling right over to pull Shiro against his chest and hold him close, letting him listen to his heartbeat. Shiro’s hair and new pajamas were already soaked with sweat. “It’s all okay. You’re safe. I’m right here”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Keith squeezed him and kissed the top of his head. “You know where you are?”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighed, finally relaxing against his touch. “Fuck.” 

“I got you.” Keith murmured, stroking his back as he pressed kiss after kiss to his forehead. “You’re okay.”

“Thank you.” Shiro swallowed as he pushed his face into the crook of Keith’s neck. “I don’t know why it’s so bad tonight.”

“I’m sorry, Takashi.” Keith cooed, trying to ignore the ball of guilt sitting in his gut. Shiro never slept well with things on his mind and he couldn’t help but feel he was partially responsible for this. Making Shiro promise to give up piloting had to be upsetting him. “Do you want the bathtub or anything?”

Shiro shook his head. “Just keep talking to me.”

“Okay, here get your shirt off though.” Keith said, helping him undo the buttons before Shiro was able to shrug it off and cling to Keith chest to chest. “Better?”

Shiro gave a weak nod and rolled onto his back, squirming out of his pajama pants and tossing them aside too. “I fucking hate the sweating.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith reached over to give his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “Are you hot?”

“Cold. Bring your Galra heat over here.” Shiro said, holding his arms open until Keith came and rolled on top of him, pressing kiss after kiss to his jaw and cheeks. 

Keith felt an incredible need to be as affectionate as possible, make up for what he was going to make Shiro do at the board meeting in the morning. He leaned up to give him a kiss, his thigh accidentally pressing between Shiro’s legs and he stopped cold when the man under him sighed - a quiet sound of pleasure that made Keith’s eyes light up in the dark room.

“Sorry.” Shiro blushed.

“Did you… like that?”

“Kind of? Sorry. That was so creepy, fuck.”

“No it wasn’t.” Keith shook his head. He wanted to hear that sound again. Maybe what Shiro really needed was a little distraction, something to make him feel nice. Keith tried to steady his racing heart as he moved over, lying over Shiro with their hips aligned. He adjusted a bit and froze, his face burning red. Shiro was hard.

“Keith, you don’t have to do anything.”

“I like it.” He swallowed, his lips inches from Shiro’s. “Do you?”

“Yeah.” Shiro breathed. “Do you um… Do you know how to-”

“Yeah.” Keith cut him off, remembering that he’d never told Shiro about that awful first time gone awry. As far as Shiro knew, he had no experience at all. He should probably come clean about it before they actually had sex, but he couldn’t think about that without his heart exploding, so he thought about what was happening right then. They were in their underwear and he could feel Shiro’s erection pressing right against his own. 

“Keith.” Shiro sighed, his eyes falling shut when Keith rolled his hips. “Keith…”

He bit hard on his lip and started to rock against him, eyes glowing as he watched Shiro’s expression for any discomfort. Soon, Shiro’s hovering hand was sliding down and - holy shit - _grabbing_ _his_ _ass_. He’d slipped right past the waistband of his underwear and grabbed it in his hand, pushing Keith down to make him moan before he could stop himself. 

“God, Baby.” Shiro groaned in response, hips rolling right against Keith’s as they worked up a heated friction between them. 

That didn’t help. The pet name sent Keith’s heart soaring and he grinded down hard, both of them whimpering before Keith leaned down to kiss him. 

It was different than any kiss they’d shared before - hungry and desperate. Keith could feel a wet spot between them, pre-cum seaping through the fabric of their briefs. The pressure was  _ heavenly _ as Keith pressed right down against the enormous bulge of Shiro’s cock and gasped into his mouth, Shiro’s hand guiding his ass back and forth to grind them together. 

“ _ Keith!” _ Shiro gasped, his metal  fingers digging into the flesh of his ass. “Keith, I-I’m… I-I’m gonna…” 

“Takashi” Keith breathed against his lips and that seemed to be all it took. 

Shiro’s hips stuttered, his thighs tensed, and he came bucking up against Keith into his underwear, his breath hot and heavy on Keith’s lips until he tumbled over the edge too. 

“Holy shit.” Keith whimpered when he came, spilling with a final roll of his hips and kissing Shiro hard as they rode it out together. “Takashi.” He whispered when he finished, his face burning as he rested it down on his shoulder. “Jesus Christ.”

“Shit.” Shiro breathed. “Keith, that felt fucking good.”

Come to think of it, neither of them had been touched in years. Keith was a little surprised they hadn’t exploded yet, but his heart was warm at the lazy smile on Shiro’s face. He just looked so soft and happy, his cheeks pink and lips wet. “I’m glad I can make you feel good.” He smiled back, dipping down to kiss him one more time. “We’re gonna need a shower.”

“In a minute.” Shiro whispered, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s and bringing his hand up to cup his cheek. “Your eyes are so beautiful. They’re like lanterns.”

“Still glowing?”

“Mhm.” Shiro grinned. “I love them.” He leaned up and kissed the tip of Keith’s nose. “I love  _ you _ .”

“You’re sappy after an orgasm. That’s new.” Keith said before rolling off and pulling away to wince at the mess between his legs. “Okay, I’m getting in the shower and you can join me if you want.” Wait. “Actually, how are you feeling?” If Shiro was still shaken up and didn’t want to shower together, Keith wasn’t going to leave him alone in the dark. 

“I’ll come with you.”

They both stripped themselves of the dirty underwear, kicking them out of sight and out of mind for the moment before Keith locked them in the bathroom again and turned on the shower head.

“Come here.” Keith said, stepping in first and offering Shiro a hand to help him in too. He side stepped around, making sure Shiro was the one under the water and shut the shower curtain before leaning back in to his arms. 

“So that was a first.” Shiro laughed. “Sorry if I kind of jumped the gun, you just felt really good and it’s… kind of been a while.”

“For me too.” Keith chuckled.

“Wait, have you-?”

“We’ll talk about that another day.” Keith said, in no mood to dredge up old traumas when they were feeling so relaxed and happy. “Right now, I just want to think about you.”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled, wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist and kissing his forehead. “Sorry for the screaming earlier. It was a really bad one tonight, but you snapped me out of it.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad no one came knocking on our door or anything.”

“Yeah, this hotel is kind of skeezy.” Shiro turned them around to give Keith some time in the water and they stayed there for a while, just like the night before. Keith washed Shiro’s back, pressing a kiss to every deep scar that cut across the tan skin. Shiro washed Keith’s hair, massaging his scalp and using his stronger, metal hand to work the tension right out of his shoulders. He liked the new hover arm. It was so much more a part of Shiro than the Galra one had been.

Keith could get used to this. This level of comfort around another person. He hoped Shiro’s good mood would hold up after the meeting tomorrow - where he was essentially giving up his dream for Keith. Every time he felt guilty about it though, he started to remind himself. 

_ You’re doing this to keep Shiro, safe. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. He’ll be happier being on Earth and out of danger for once. _

“We should get to sleep. We’re gonna have to get up for the meeting.” Shiro said, the tiredness returning to his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m ready to go back to bed.” Keith yawned. 

“Can we sleep like we did last night?”

“Yeah.” Keith nodded, heart fluttering at the prospect. “Let’s get dried off.”

**

Keith’s heart ached in the morning, watching Shiro get dressed. He’d been so excited getting ready the night before - ecstatic to try new outfits - but now he was solemn and quiet as he put on a formal pair of dress pants and a button-down shirt. He still needed a new lieutenant uniform. 

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” Keith asked as he laced up his shoes, already dressed in the same outfit as always as he sat on the side of his unused bed.

“Of course I’m not. I’m mad at myself for hurting you and this is… kind of hard for me, but I could never be mad at you.” He pushed the last button in and turned to kiss Keith’s cheek, lingering a moment longer than usual. “Are you okay with me accepting the teaching position?”

“Of course.” Keith nodded. “Do you know what you want to teach?”

“I still want to work with kids on acing their flight simulations, so I’ll probably be teaching both a pilot training course and something like physics.”

“I mean, it sounds like you would love that. You don’t think you will?”

“It’s just not the same.” Shiro shrugged as he toed on his shoes. “We should get going.”

They did end up using one of those weird ride-finding apps and it wasn’t as sketchy as they’d first thought. Their “Uber Driver” was friendly and the car was clean. Keith took the initiative to hold Shiro’s hand on the ride over, relieved that he held it back. Even if Shiro said he wasn’t mad, Keith wasn’t sure that was the case.

Walking back into the Garrison gave him bad vibes. He wasn’t welcome there even if he was with Shiro. The administration building brought back especially bad memories - all the disciplinary hearings where he was berated over and over for defending himself. 

Shiro seemed to sense the tension as they walked to the board meeting and put his hand on the small of Keith’s back as they approached the door to the conference room.. “I won’t let them disrespect you.”

“Thank you.” Keith breathed. “Ready?”

“Mhm.” Shiro nodded, keeping the hand on his back when they opened the door. 

Iverson and three other officials were ready to meet with them, all sat in a row at a long table at the front of the room, a desk just big enough for the two of them set  before it. 

“Welcome Lieutenant Shirogane.” Iverson nodded, shooting Keith the evil eye as the two of them sat down. “I thought you would be attending this meeting on your own.”

“There are things we’re going to discuss that affect my partner as well. It wouldn’t be right to leave him out of it.” Shiro said, walking to grab a spare chair from the side of the room and setting it beside the one already placed at the desk. “Shall we?”

Keith couldn’t help smirking a bit at the look on Iverson’s face and sat down besides Shiro, keeping a hand on his thigh underneath the desk.  _ Partner _ .

“So, as we discussed yesterday, we’d love to have you back as a pilot. There’s a mission coming up in one month that we think-”

“I have to stop you right there.” Shiro sighed. “I’m… changing my mind.”

Keith felt how he tensed at the words and looked away, unable to bear how sad his face looked. 

“Excuse me?” One of the other officers laughed. “How so?”

“Please explain.” Iverson added and Shiro took a deep breath. 

“I would love to re-join the Garrison as a teacher, preferably training other cadets as pilots, but I can’t return as a pilot myself.”

“What changed? This doesn’t sound like you, Shirogane.”

“Keith and I and… the other paladins have been through a lot in the years we’ve been gone. I thought about it more and I don’t think it’s right for me to go back to space. I’ve had some close calls and… it’s put someone very close to me through a lot. I’ve been through a lot myself. I would love to come and teach, but piloting is off the table. For now.”

Keith frowned for a moment at the “for now,” but chalked it up to Shiro trying to be compromising and polite. Besides, he was pretty touched by the ‘someone very close to me’ remark. The warming of his cheeks must have given him away because all three officers at the table suddenly looked pretty uncomfortable. 

“Well, we… Understand the decision. You can always come back and change your mind. When would you like to join the teaching faculty?”

“As soon as possible.” Shiro smiled. “I’d really like to get back on my feet.”

“Well, head down to housing. You can get set up with an apartment in the Garrison’s complex if that’s what you prefer.”

“It is.” Shiro nodded. “But I need assurance that we won’t have any trouble with Keith living there. Even if he’s not a part of the Garrison, I know plenty of other officers have their significant others living with them. If it’s an issue, I’ll be finding a place off property.”

Keith watched the discomfort on their faces grow and suppressed a laugh at the slight anger on Iverson’s face. No one hated Keith more than him and now he was practically handing him room and board. 

“Policy does allow it.” Iverson grumbled. “We’ll contact you soon about your start date. It’s nearing the end of summer, so we’ll have you on as soon as possible.”

“Thank you.” Shiro put his hand on top of Keith’s under the desk. “Are there any other concerns we need to discuss?”

“Not for now. Dismissed.”

Shiro gave another nod and stood up with Keith, putting a hand on his back again as they walked out the door. 

“Holy shit.” Keith said as soon as they were a safe distance down the hallway. “Shiro, you really rubbed it in his face.”

“What? About you?”

“ _ Yeah _ . It was awesome, I mean, did you see his face?” Keith laughed. “He was so flustered, oh my God I thought he was gonna choke when you called me your significant other.”

“Well, you have to drive it home with him, or he’ll discriminate. He knows I don’t take any shit when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Thank you.” Keith grinned, stopping him and wrapping his arms around his waist in a hug. “That meant a lot to me, Shiro. Seriously.” He pulled away quick, not wanting to be seen, but his heart had never felt fuller.

“Do you feel okay now? About everything?”

“Yeah.” Keith smiled. “This meant the world to me. I mean, knowing that you’re gonna be safe and home, just… I finally feel like things for us are okay.” Before, he’d worried about falling too in love with Shiro. It would only hurt more the next time something happened to him with his kind of luck, but now? Now, Shiro was safe. He could love him as much as his heart would allow. “Should we go down to housing?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled back. “Let’s go find out where our new home is, yeah?”

_ Home _ . When was the last time Keith had a place to truly call that? He did a quick scan of the place to make sure no one was there to see before leaning up and pressing his lips hard against Shiro’s. “Take me home, Takashi.”

**

The best part about the Garrison apartments was that they were move-in ready. There was an opening on the fifth floor of the complex and they could take it the next day. Keith was a little worried about Shiro having to take the psych evaluation for being a Garrison teacher. If he didn’t pass, he’d have to go through some intense therapy until he could. Luckily, the standards were far lower than they were for piloting, but still. Keith had his doubts. 

“I can’t wait to move in tomorrow. I thought we’d be stuck in this hotel for a long time.” Shiro sighed when they got back to the room, kicking his shoes off and flopping down on the bed. “I guess I’ll have to make lesson plans and stuff soon. Maybe Commander Holt can help.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re good at this kind of thing.” Keith said as he stepped out of his shoes and shrugged his jacket off. “What do you think about the psych eval?”

“I’m a little worried. I mean, I don’t see how I’m not fit for the classroom, but I have a lot of issues. I hope it’s not too much of a problem.” 

“It’ll be okay.” Keith crawled back onto bed and tucked himself under Shiro’s shoulder, suppressing a purr when the hand stroked down his back. ”I can’t believe we’re gonna have our own place.”

“I know.” Shiro sighed, giving him a squeeze. “I always wished we had our own room at the castle. The Garrison apartments are pretty big too, so we can just… I don’t know, make it our own.”

“That sounds perfect.” Keith smiled as he nuzzled his cheek against Shiro’s chest. “It has all the furniture?”

“The necessities. We’ll probably want to buy a few things before tomorrow night, like bedding, but we’ll be good. If they haven’t remodeled much since I left, you’ll love the bath tub. They’re huge in there.”

Keith could have popped a boner right then and there. “ _ Fuck _ yes.”

“Are you um… good with what happened last night?”

“Hm? Oh.” Keith blinked, remembering their impromptu grind session. “Yeah, I’m extremely good with what happened.”

“Have you ever-”

“I’ll tell you another time.” Keith said. He didn’t feel like reliving his disastrous first time and he wanted to refrain from doing so until they were ready to have actual sex. 

“Is it-”

“Another time, Shiro.” Keith pushed himself up and leaned down to kiss him, trying to make sure Shiro knew how insanely grateful he was for what Shiro had done for him, but also letting him know it was time to drop the subject. “Hey, I meant what I said earlier. You turning down the pilot offer means everything to me.”

“I don’t want to lie to you and say I’m not a little sad, but I’m happy that you’re happy.” Shiro grinned, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s. “You’re everything to me. I’m okay turning it down.”

“Is there any way I can make it up to you? Like at all?”

“Moving in with me is more than enough.” Shiro said, pushing his fingers into Keith’s hair and watching him preen at the touch. “I was pretty worried about being alone when we landed here. It’s been forever since I haven’t had you right next to my room to help me through nightmares and I don’t know what I’d do without you there.”

Keith had no clue how Shiro ever thought he’d be able to go on space missions if he felt like that, but he wasn’t complaining. He turned his head and kissed him again, nibbling a little on his lower lip and running his hand up Shiro’s side. He didn’t have an intention of initiating anything - not in the mood for the conversations he knew they’d need to have before going there - but it still felt nice. “I’m not going anywhere now.”

“And that means everything to me too.” Shiro sighed, pressing his forehead against Keith’s. “Thanks, Keith.” He pressed one more kiss to his lips. “For everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls give this fic a little love and tumblr or twitter if u can!! I'm nuttinonice on all platforms, come say hi! Make sure to subscribe, I'll be updating again this Saturday.


	4. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After facing intergalactic war, Keith is left to face IKEA.

Keith didn’t know how much he hated IKEA until they got there. Buying bedding and lamps and basic house stuff had sounded pretty painless before he found himself lost in a sea of Swedish furniture, Shiro intent on looking over every comforter the store had to offer before picking one. Plus, the place was seriously crowded and picking out extra furniture and decór for their first shared apartment was making Shiro a little too affectionate.

“Keith, what do you think of this one?” Shiro asked, running his hand over a black bedspread with a gray lined pattern. “It’s simple, but I think it’s nice.”

“Hm?” Keith blinked. “Sure, if you like it.”

“But do  _ you _ like it?”

“I don’t really care about this stuff, Shiro.” He sighed, arms crossed as he looked around them. Why were there so many people? 

“I mean, you’re gonna be sleeping in it too. I just thought…” Shiro shrugged. “Yeah, I guess this one then.”

“Are we done?”

“We need a mat for the bathroom and trash cans for the kitchen.”

“Ugh.” Keith huffed. They hadn’t actually set foot in the new apartment yet, but Shiro had a list of what he knew it lacked. They would be heading there as soon as they finished shopping and he really just wanted to crawl in bed and snuggle up - as cheesy as that thought was. Shopping exhausted him and there were just too many people. Not to mention the lingering guilt of still not being able to pay for anything. Shiro had plenty of savings on top of the new settlement, so he was set to provide, but Keith was no freeloader - at least he liked to think he wasn’t.

“Don’t be so grumpy. This can be fun if you get in to it a little.” Shiro leaned over to plant a kiss on Keith’s cheek, but he turned scarlet and ducked away as soon as he got close. 

“What the hell, Shiro?  _ Here _ ?” Keith glared, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. 

“Why not?” Shiro blinked and Keith saw the slight hurt in his eyes from being rejected. Keith never turned away from a kiss, but that had always been when it was just the two of them, or in front of the team. “I’m just trying to cheer you up. You don’t have to snap at me like that.”

_ Fuck _ . Keith’s shoulders slumped as his heart sank to his stomach. What was he doing? Shiro was already hurting because of him, having to give up his dream career just to ease his anxiety. Now Keith was being a dick and the hurt on Shiro’s face was clear. “Takashi.” He sighed, stepping close to him. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little stressed in places like this and I want us to get home and settle in. Maybe it’ll change, but right now, I just can’t do coupley stuff in public.”

“Why? Keith, no one’s gonna bother us over one little kiss.” His hand reached out to hover (literally) over Keith’s waist, but he stopped and retracted it. “Is there a reason you’re so scared about it?”

“I’ll tell you another time.” He grimaced. 

“You keep saying that.”

“Well, I’m not gonna have that conversation in the middle of IKEA.”

“Will you talk about it when we get home?”

Home. Keith almost blushed again at the word, but his stomach was tight at the thought of telling Shiro what had happened to him. He couldn’t hold out too long though, could he? Not when he’d just hurt Shiro’s feelings. “I guess.”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled, satisfied as he turned to take the tag for the bedspread. “Let’s get the matching pillows too. I know you don’t really care, so I’ll just pick out what’s left and we’ll speed out of here and go home, yeah? I got that nice TV, I’m sure it’ll be a joy to set up.”

Keith laughed a little at that and went back to their cart. It would be a little funny trying to piece furniture together.

**

Keith hoped when they got to the apartment, Shiro would be distracted enough to drop the subject of Keith’s newfound social anxiety. The apartment was much bigger than he’d expected, with a living room, full kitchen, two bathrooms and a master bedroom. He hadn’t had such a big place since living at home with his Dad - before everything went south.

He helped Shiro dress their new bed - mattress protector included for Shiro’s sweating - and put potted plants around bare corners of the apartment, making sure to kiss Shiro each time they passed each other to make up for earlier. They set the TV up together and conquered the bigger challenge of mounting it in front of the sofa. 

By the time everything they bought was set up and ready to go, they were starving and tired, but Keith couldn’t bring himself to get up from the couch where Shiro held him. 

“We’re gonna need food.” Shiro said, pressed against the back of the sofa as he spooned Keith from behind. “I forgot groceries were a thing.”

“Order in, I can’t stand to shop anymore today.”

“Okay.” Shiro chuckled behind him, pressing a warm kiss to the base of his neck. “Do you like it here?”

“It feels like a mansion.”

“It’s like three rooms, Keith.”

“Better than where I’ve been.”

“Mm.” Shiro sighed, sliding his hand up Keith’s shirt to rest on his stomach, just feeling the skin against skin. “Do you want to talk about what you said earlier?”

“What?”

“Being scared in public.” 

“Oh.” Keith grimaced. “Shiro, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to tell me, but you’ve helped me a lot with my anxiety, Keith. I want to help with yours too, but I can’t if you don’t tell me how.”

“I don’t want to guilt you with the story.”

“Why would it guilt me?”

“It happened while you were gone.” Keith said, casting his eyes down as Shiro rubbed his stomach in slow, soothing circles. He hoped he’d never stop touching him. “When I thought you were dead.”

“Keith, I would never blame you for anything you did while I was gone. I can’t imagine how you must have been grieving.” Shiro leaned over to kiss his cheek. “You can tell me anything.” 

Keith’s stomach turned, but what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t shut Shiro out. It would only hurt his feelings and that was the last fucking thing Keith needed to do with the way he’d been acting. Shiro was giving up so much for him. The least he could do was open up a little. “Remember how I told you I got expelled because some people jumped me and I had to defend myself?”

“Mhm.”

“That wasn’t the whole story.” Keith sighed and turned around in Shiro’s arms, burying himself in the safety of his chest as Shiro hugged him close. “There was another gay cadet in my grade. I-I don’t even remember his name, but he saw me getting picked on all the fucking time for it and he came up to me one day and told me he was too. He wanted advice and shit, but what did I have to say to him, you know? I couldn’t help him and all I really cared about was the fact that you were gone and I couldn’t really feel much anymore. I thought… I-I thought that maybe I could fill the hole somehow and my roommate was out, so I took him to my dorm.” 

He stopped talking and swallowed the lump forming in his throat, fidgeting a little under Shiro’s touch. 

“It’s okay, Baby.” Shiro cooed and Keith’s cheeks flushed at the nickname. “What happened?”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, but one thing kind of lead to another and we um… We were having sex.” Keith winced. “It wasn’t even really good and I had no feelings for him, but I was just trying to feel good and it was my first time and I know the dorm was locked, but those fucking guys picked it and burst in and… I mean, you know.”

“Holy shit, Keith.” Shiro breathed. “Baby…”

“There weren’t even blankets or anything.” Keith swallowed. “A-And I was on the bottom. I barely had time to pull my underwear on before they grabbed me and then I just lost my shit. I was scared and I started kicking, throwing punches, trying to get them off of me. I broke someone’s arm, someone’s nose. They ran to Iverson and said that I cornered  _ them _ . Like I could just gang up on four people myself.” He rolled his eyes. “They expelled me the day after. I don’t know what happened to the other kid, but they beat on me more than him. He probably became my replacement after.” Keith felt Shiro’s arm tense around him.

“That’s not right.” Shiro glared. “How could the Garrison let something like that happen? People breaking into other people’s dorms to attack them? No one should have to go through being exposed like that.”

“I shouldn’t have let that guy into my room.” Keith sighed. “I just needed something.” 

“Don’t say that like it’s your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Shiro hugged him tight and Keith had to smile a bit at the support. Shiro had to be the first person in his life to ever defend him after his dad died. “No wonder you get so nervous in public. I can’t imagine how traumatizing it would be to get caught like that during your first time.”

“Yeah, so I just would prefer to keep things private.” Keith nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and nuzzling his face into Shiro’s neck. “Is that okay? We can tell people we’re together. I’m proud to be with you, but I just get anxious when it comes to affection.”

“Of course it’s okay.” Shiro kissed the top of his head and squeezed him just to drive the point home. “Do you have any hang ups about sex? I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“Not really.” Keith shook his head. “Just no open doors. Lock everything. That’s about it.”

“I can’t believe you had to go through something like that on top of everything else.” 

“It’s whatever. It’s over.” Keith has half a mind to go ahead and drag Shiro to bed, but he didn’t want to push things. Shiro was in a more fragile state than he was even if he’d just confessed something. Sex might have triggers that Shiro wasn’t even aware of yet. Their impromptu grind session had been a good sign, but Keith wasn’t going to set the pace. He’d told him now that he was comfortable with sex, so it was up to Shiro where they went with that. “You wanna order food?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled, his hand stroking lovingly up and down Keith’s back. “I’ll cook for you tomorrow.”

“Don’t do everything yourself. I want to help.”

“You can help me cook then.” Shiro shrugged, bending down to nuzzle his nose against Keith’s hair. “I have the psych eval in the morning and I’m kind of nervous about it, so let’s just both eat our feelings together alright? I’ll order pizza.”

“Oh my God  _ pizza _ .” Keith’s eyes went wide. “Shiro, I forgot about pizza. We haven’t had it in  _ years _ .”

“I’ll get a large.”

**

Keith went to bed content that night, Shiro’s arm detached and on the nightstand as he snuggled into his side under his shoulder. He had some anxieties about Shiro passing the psych eval, but mostly he was full of pizza and on a complete high from Shiro’s affection. He’d practically smothered him in kisses all evening and now they got to sleep in a new bed with new sheets and it was all theirs. He had a place to call home and home was with Shiro. 

**

When Keith woke up in the morning, he was shocked to see Shiro sleeping soundly next to him. There was no pool of sweat, no torn sheets, just Shiro’s messy white hair and open mouth as he snored just quiet enough that it hadn’t bothered Keith in the night. “Shiro?” He whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. “Hey, you need to get up and get ready.”

“Hm?” Shiro yawned. “Lemme sleep.”

“You have your psych evaluation in half an hour.”

“Half an hour?”

“Yeah, you slept until nine.” Keith grinned, leaning down to kiss the scar on Shiro’s nose. “No nightmares?”

“Not even one.” Shiro smiled right back at him. “I really feel safe with you here I guess.” He pulled Keith into a brief kiss, keeping his lips closed to spare him the morning breath, before sliding out of bed to get dressed. “You can go back to sleep if you want. I shouldn’t be too long.”

“I’ll get up.” Keith shrugged, watching as Shiro went to their newly stocked closet and pulled on his old uniform. God that thing had grown tight on him. He still needed a new one. “Do you want me to run out and get breakfast while you’re gone?”

“Sure, here.” Shiro said, taking his wallet from the nightstand and handing him a credit card. “Why don’t you just keep this one? Use it for whatever you need.”

A pang of guilt struck Keith’s chest, but he nodded and took the card. What choice did he have? “Sorry for being a burden like this.” He grimaced as he looked at the credit card. “I just… don’t have anything.”

“Don’t call yourself that.” Shiro whipped around to say, putting his hands on Keith’s shoulders and looking down at him with those soft concerned eyes he always got around him. “Keith, you’ve taken care of me and saved me too many times to count. Let me take care of you a little.” He bent down to plant a kiss on the top of his head before pulling away to get his shoes on. “I’ll be back soon, but call me if you need something okay?”

“Okay.” Keith smiled as he watched him go. He really, really hoped things would go well at the evaluation. Shiro looked so happy to be heading back to the Garrison. 

Maybe Keith did make the right call asking him not to pilot. He seemed just as excited to teach. 

**

Shit, what was he supposed to do with himself when Shiro was gone? He went out and got bagels, but that only killed a half hour and he didn’t want to eat before Shiro got back. 

Keith kicked his feet up on the new coffee table and tried to watch TV, but he couldn’t help but feel like he just wasn’t being productive. They hadn’t really had “down time” in years, what did normal people who weren’t half-alien and savers of the universe do with their spare time? Knit or something?

It made his stomach hurt as he sat and caught up with the cartoons he’d missed. What the hell was he going to do when Shiro started working? He didn’t have a career. He didn’t have much ambition left after what they’d gone through. Really, all he wanted was to take care of Shiro, make sure he was happy, but he had no clue what to do with the forty hours a week Shiro would soon be gone.

When Shiro walked through the front door, he practically jumped out of his seat from anticipation to see how the evaluation went and relief that he was back. “How’d it go?”

Shiro’s shoulders slumped and his eyebrows pushed together as he toed his shoes off. “I passed.”

“That’s great, why do you look so bummed out?”

“The doctor said I have to take these.” He said, pulling a prescription pill bottle from his pocket. “I don’t need them. I don’t want to be reliant on medication to deal with my shit. I can handle it.”

Keith cringed a little, remembering all the prescriptions he’d been on back in the day, but he put that aside. Shiro wasn’t trying to be condescending about medication, he was just feeling weak. Shiro didn’t like anything he considered to be a crutch, or a shortcut and it wasn’t a surprise that he was viewing his recovery in the same way he saw training, or anything else really. “Well, what matters is that you passed right?”

“I guess. I’m not taking these.” Shiro sighed, walking over to set the anti-anxiety meds on the coffee table. 

“I’m sure they just wanted to help you sleep. If you don’t want to take them, I won’t force you.” He did think Shiro needed them, but he knew that telling him to take them would end with the prescription flushed down the toilet. 

“Thank you.” Shiro breathed, flopping down on the couch. “That was so fucking stressful. I mean I hate talking about all that stuff. At least with you, I don’t have to go into detail because you already know, but they really dragged it out of me.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith frowned as he sat down next to him, putting a hand on his thigh and leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Do you feel okay?”

“Just frustrated.”

“I get it.” Keith nodded. “But you passed, yeah? You don’t have anything to worry about now.”

“I guess.” Shiro shifted a little closer and rested his head on Keith’s shoulder. “Can you calm me down?”

“Of course.” Keith smiled, his heart warm as he ran one hand through Shiro’s hair, stroking his scalp and pressing a few kisses to his forehead. He could think of a better way to calm him down, but he wasn’t sure if he was acting too much on boredom.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you… Um…” Shiro’s cheeks turned pink and he leaned up to kiss him, planting a soft peck on his lips to give Keith the memo. 

“Of course, Takashi.” Keith whispered as he brought his hands to Shiro’s cheeks, leaning in to give him a proper kiss. His heart thumped at the heat between them when he pressed forward, catching Shiro’s bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling until he opened his mouth for him. He should have known this was what Shiro was craving. 

Keith felt Shiro hover his metal hand on top of his own, the one he had rested on Shiro’s thigh, and guide it between his legs, pressing it down against the growing bulge and Keith broke the kiss out of pure shock, eyes lighting up as he stared at Shiro’s equally red face. 

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

Keith pressed his hand down. “It’s okay.” He rubbed the heel of his palm over the bulge and watched as Shiro’s face turned redder. “Stress relief, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah, but y’know um… I-I don’t want you to think it’s an obligation or something, I mean-”

“Takashi, I  _ like _ making you feel good. Take the uniform off, I don’t want you to ruin it.”

Shiro nodded so fast Keith thought he might’ve pulled something and they both went to work unbuttoning his jacket, stripping him down to his undershirt before Keith unzipped the army green pants, waiting for Shiro to lift his hips before he shoved them down to his ankles. His heart was racing, but this was something he’d just been fantasizing about for  _ way _ too long.

Keith pressed one more kiss to Shiro’s lips, making sure he knew the love was there before he got on his knees and pulled Shiro’s pants and underwear off of his feet, gazing at where Shiro’s erection stood up, already beading pre-cum at the tip. He’d seen it a few times now, but he somehow just remembered that there was probably no way that whole thing would fit in his mouth. He would sure as hell try though. “Takashi?”

“Yeah?” Shiro responded, face flushed. 

“Pull my hair when you’re ready okay?” Keith smiled as he scootched up close between Shiro’s thighs and wrapped a hand around his base, letting Shiro slide his human hand into his hair as he licked a stripe all along the underside. 

Shiro groaned in response, his scarred thighs twitching against Keith’s shoulders. 

He lapped up the pre-cum and relished in the salty taste. He’d tried this once before, during the brief foreplay in his dorm, before disaster struck and this was infinitely better. Shiro responded to every little touch and the taste was fine, a little salty if anything and that was about it. He had to work up the nerve to actually go down on him, but when he glanced up and saw Shiro biting his lip, he found the courage. 

“Takashi.” Keith whispered before he wrapped his lips around the head, swirling his tongue around it and listening to Shiro moan. He pushed down a little further, filling his mouth and swallowing around him. Shit, that was barely half of him. He swallowed again and pushed a bit further, making it a little past the halfway point when he found his limit and started to bob his head back and forth. He had to use his hand on the part that didn’t fit, but Shiro didn’t seem to be complaining. The fact that Shiro had initiated this, made Keith feel so much more confident about the whole thing. Shiro actually  _ wanted _ him and Keith was going to give him whatever he wanted.

“Keith, oh my  _ God _ .” Shiro breathed. “Keith… Keith, fuck. Don’t stop.”

Keith opened his eyes to look up at him and felt his own erection twitch at the sight of Shiro’s head thrown back, his chest rising and falling with heavy breathing as Keith sucked. Maybe he could kick it up a notch. He slid his free hand up Shiro’s thigh to his balls, cupping them in his hand and running his thumb over them. That earned a whimper from Shiro. Not a moan, a  _ whimper _ . His voice had suddenly gone soft, breathy, high-pitched. He was clay in Keith’s hands - and mouth. 

It was a struggle to ignore his own neglected dick, but Keith wanted Shiro to fall apart for him. He took two fingers and slid them underneath, pressing on to his perineum and relishing in the strangled whine Shiro made in response. 

“Baby, you’re so good.” Shiro gasped. “What the  _ fuckkkk _ , you’re so good at this.” His hand tugged at Keith’s hair. “ _ Keith _ .”

Keith started to hum and that seemed to be Shiro’s undoing, his hand fisting Keith’s hair as his legs tensed. 

“Keith, I’m gonna cum!” Shiro gasped, hooking one leg over his shoulder. “Don’t stop, I’m so close.”

It took a lot of willpower not to cum at the words, but Keith persisted until Shiro’s hips bucked. He gagged once before pulling back and getting it under control, swallowing each spurt of cum until Shiro had relaxed and softened in his mouth. 

“Keith…” Shiro breathed. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah?” He grinned, his face still flushed with arousal as he stood up. 

Shiro’s eyes lit up at the sight, a tent pitched in the boxers Keith had slept in and a massive wet spot on the front. “Fuck, come here.” He said when he tugged Keith’s hips forward, pushing his hand into his boxers to finish him in three rough strokes. 

Keith had to put a hand over his mouth to muffle the cry he let out when he came into Shiro’s fist, his body trembling until he slumped over Shiro and pressed lazy kiss after kiss onto his lips. “I love you.” He murmured. “Takashi, I love you.”

“I know, Baby. I love you too.”

Keith wondered if they would get to a point where they talked like that all the time instead of when they were fooling around. He was yearning for Shiro to call him ‘Baby’ on a regular basis. “Shower?”

“Shower.” Shiro smiled, letting Keith lead the way to the bathroom. 

Keith locked the door behind them and got the water started while Shiro washed his hands. His heart was still going crazy and even if it wasn’t visible in the bright light of the bathroom, his eyes were still glowing a bit too. He could always feel when they lit up. They got warm and it actually felt nice except that it only happened when he was either super embarrassed, in love, or fighting for his life. “Was it really good?”

“Keith, I don’t know where you learned how to do that, but I’m glad that you did.” Shiro laughed, stepping past him to get in the shower. 

Keith followed and shut the glass door behind them. He preferred a curtain that you couldn’t see through, but at least the glass was textured, blurring whatever figures were behind it. 

Shiro put his arms right around Keith’s waist, pulling him close so he could nuzzle their noses together as the hot water ran down his back. “Can I tell you something funny about an ex or would it hurt your feelings?”

“I’m not made of glass.” Keith rolled his eyes. “What?”

“Baby, Adam could  _ not _ suck dick. He was so fucking bad at it. It was the worst thing ever, I always just ended up skipping foreplay because he just couldn’t  _ not use  _ his teeth for some reason and he’d gag all the time.” Shiro laughed and pressed his lips to Keith’s cheek. “You’re so fucking good at it. I haven’t had a blowjob like that since I was a cadet.”

“Glad I could set the standard.” Keith smiled, his heart beating just from being called ‘Baby’ again. “I can always do that for you, you know? If you’re stressed, or mad, just tell me and I can-”

“No, no, don’t ever see that as an obligation.” Shiro said, his hands squeezing Keith’s hips to emphasize. “I want to do it to you too and we can do it whenever we want to. There doesn’t have to be a reason.”

“Okay.” Keith grinned, letting Shiro pull him into another crazy kiss that was all love and tongue and teeth clacking against each other. 

He could figure out what he was going to do with his life later. Right now, this was his life. Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a day late, college is hard lol


	5. Hell Or High Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith’s worries had eased a little bit until he sat down on the couch and felt Shiro still trembling. “Shiro, you’re still shaking?”
> 
> “Just a little bit, I’m fine. The blood just… made me remember stuff.” He sighed. “The dream last night didn’t help.”
> 
> “You can’t go on getting panic attacks at things like that.” Keith blinked, feeling Shiro’s knee quiver against his hand. “Shiro, this is really bad.”
> 
> “What am I supposed to do about it?”
> 
> Keith’s eyes darted to the bottle of pills on the coffee table, still right where Shiro had left them.

“Takashi? Please wake up.” Keith begged as he straddled the hips of his sleeping boyfriend, shaking his shoulders as he used his body weight to pin him down. It was the worst night yet. Shiro was sobbing in his sleep, his hands tearing holes in the new sheets with his thrashing and Keith couldn’t wake him up for the life of him. He’d done everything but hit him and he couldn’t bring himself to do that. 

“Takashi, you’re scaring the shit out of me.” He choked, shaking Shiro as hard as he could until he finally gasped and Keith was quick to move off of him. 

“W-Where am I?” Shiro croaked as he looked frantically around their bedroom. 

“You’re home, you’re with me.” Keith breathed as he blinked back tears. Shit, he used to never cry. Now it seemed like it was such a short trip for him to get there, but holy shit, he’d been scared. Shiro never had so much trouble waking up before. “It’s me, it’s Keith. You’re safe.”

“Oh my God.” Shiro shook his head and buried his face in his hands, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks. “Keith, hold me.”

Keith complied in an instant, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing as tight as he could. “You’re okay.” He whispered. “Everything is okay. You’re safe and I’m right here with you.” He hoped none of their neighbors had heard Shiro crying out in his sleep, but he’d deal with it if anyone came knocking on their door. He hugged Shiro tight and pressed kiss after kiss into his wet hair. Shiro was shaking violently and Keith couldn’t think of what on Earth to do to make it better. “Takashi, what happened?”

“I killed you.” Shiro sobbed, his voice cracking when he said the words. “I have all the memories. I-I dreamt that I didn’t come out of it when you said you loved me and I  _ killed _ you, Keith.”

“Takashi… It wasn’t real, it’s okay.”

“It could have been.” He sniffled. “It could have been so easily.”

“But it  _ wasn’t _ . I’m okay.”

Shiro just shook his head. 

“What can I do to make you feel better?” Keith asked, his eyebrows pushed together as he stroked Shiro’s back through his sweat-soaked shirt. He would get him to change once he calmed down. “Do you want to get up and watch TV or something? Take a bath? I’m wide awake, I can do whatever you need.”

No response. 

Shit, this was bad. If Keith had to play the hard caretaker role then he would. “Shiro, maybe you should take the medication.”

Shiro lifted his head at that, his eyes wet as he looked at Keith with hurt in his eyes. “How could you say that?”

“I just want you to feel better.” Keith swallowed, his stomach turning in knots. “I’m sorry.” His blood ran cold thinking he could have made Shiro mad at him. Shiro was never mad at him and if he was now, he’d want Keith to go away and then who would take care of him? “Forget I said it. I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need pills.”

“Okay.” Keith said, trying to hide his own hurt as he leaned in and hugged him tighter. “Please tell me what I can do for you, Takashi. I want to help. Don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” Shiro sighed. “Fuck, I’m sorry. That dream was just… Please tell me I didn’t hurt your feelings. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” He hugged Keith back and they took deep breaths together, trying to find their way back to being grounded. “I think I do need to be distracted. Do you want to move to the couch and watch a movie with me?”

Keith nodded and pressed his lips to Shiro’s forehead. “Let’s get you changed first.”

**

The school year didn’t start for another two weeks which left them with plenty of time to kill. After a horrible night that ended with Shiro falling asleep on the couch, Keith had tucked him in and let him sleep through the morning. He didn’t know what they’d do when Shiro had to start getting up early on the daily. If they didn’t get the nightmares under control, there was no way he’d be able to work properly. 

Luckily, they’d still put off getting groceries, Shiro had still promised to make dinner, and shopping seemed to clear his head - as much as Keith hated the activity. He had anxious butterflies as they walked down the frozen aisle, watching Shiro pick out frozen meals for lazy nights. 

The social anxiety was getting out of hand. Grocery shopping was such a domestic chore and what two grown men went grocery shopping together? People were bound to notice them. 

Keith chewed on the inside of his cheek as he watched Shiro check things off their list. Maybe he should go back on his own medication, at least some of it. He couldn’t possibly keep up this level of discomfort whenever they were in public, but what would Shiro think of him? He seemed to despise medication. He couldn’t risk turning Shiro against him, even if it would make him feel better. Plus, he’d just settled Shiro down. He didn’t want to do anything to stress him out again.

“You okay?” Shiro asked as they headed into produce. 

“I’m good.” Keith nodded, but he could feel his heart accelerating and not in the good way. That was what he hated most about anxiety. Sometimes all it took was a slightly stressful environment and his body was halfway to a panic attack when his mind didn’t even feel like going there. His stomach would hurt all on it’s own without him worrying too much.

“You look nervous.” He frowned. 

“I’m fine.” Keith said, forcing a smile. “Let’s just finish up and get home.”

**

Keith was still buzzing a bit when they got back, but he calmed down when Shiro took to teaching him how to cook in the kitchen. He showed him the proper way to cut the vegetables they bought and how to prepare chicken so it didn’t overcook.

Dinner was practically done when Shiro pulled out the juicer he’d bought on impulse to blend up some of the kale they’d bought - against Keith’s will. He reached into the box to pull out the parts, but pulled back and swore. 

“Shiro?” Keith frowned, turning around to see him holding a gashed finger. Shit, he must have nicked it on the blade. He went to go grab the band-aids from the bathroom, but stopped when he saw how much it was bleeding. “Oh shit.”

Shiro took a step back from the counter and stared at the wound with wide eyes. It was one of those cuts that bled like crazy even if it was small. He was bleeding over his whole hand and his breath was picking up as he stared at it. 

“Shiro?” Keith asked again, coming up to him. “Hey, it’s a little cut. There’s just a lot of blood, but you’re fine.”

Shiro shook his head and continued staring at his injured finger, his chest rising and falling as his breath picked up. 

“Are you okay?”

Shiro just shook his head again as he started to hyperventilate, leaning back on the counter as his eyes darted around the room. 

Fuck. Blood must be a trigger for him now. Keith reached past him for the paper towels and took Shiro’s hand in his, wrapping the towel around the cut to stop the bleeding. “Hey, hey it’s just a little cut yeah?” He murmured, reaching a hand up to stroke Shiro’s hair. “Just a little cut. You’re okay and you’re right here at home with me.”

Shiro jolted way from him and towards the kitchen sink, doubling over and puking right over the drain as Keith ran up behind him. 

“Get it out.” Keith sighed as he rubbed Shiro’s back. Shit, how easy was it for him to have a full panic attack? He got him a glass of water as he hacked up the remainder and set it beside the sink. “Let me bandage your finger when you’re done.”

Shiro gulped down the water and nodded, his eyes a little pink as he turned the sink on to wash the puke away. He was trembling a little bit. “I don’t want to look at it, can you um…”

“Stay right here.” Keith nodded, leaving him to grab some disinfectant, a washcloth, and a band-aid from their medicine cabinet before rushing back to Shiro. “Just one second.” He said as he ran the wash cloth under warm water and took the paper towels from Shiro’s hand, wiping away all the excess blood before spraying disinfectant on the bandaid and wrapping it over the cut. “Better?”

“Yeah.” He breathed. “I’m sorry, I just… I saw the blood and I-”

“You don’t have to explain. It’s okay.” Keith said, taking his hands and leaning up to kiss his nose. “You want to sit down and eat? I’ll put the juicer together for you later. I’ll make your gross kale stuff.”

“Thank you.” Shiro smiled, letting Keith lead him to their dining table. It was small, but all they needed and they’d already set it. “Sorry for freaking out.”

“You never have to be sorry for that.” Keith said as he sat down next to him. He really wished Shiro would just take his prescription. It could really help him control attacks like that a lot better and Keith would know - he had them constantly after his dad died. 

They ate dinner quietly, letting Shiro calm down before they washed the dishes together and went to settle down on the couch for movie night. It was quickly becoming tradition for them to just snuggle up in the late evening and find one of the Oscar-winners they’d missed before going to bed. 

Keith’s worries had eased a little bit until he sat down on the couch and felt Shiro still trembling. “Shiro, you’re still shaking?”

“Just a little bit, I’m fine. The blood just… made me remember stuff.” He sighed. “The dream last night didn’t help.”

“You can’t go on getting panic attacks at things like that.” Keith blinked, feeling Shiro’s knee quiver against his hand. “Shiro, this is really bad.”

“What am I supposed to do about it?”

Keith’s eyes darted to the bottle of pills on the coffee table, still right where Shiro had left them. 

“Fucking hell, Keith.”

“What?” He cringed at the cursing and took his hand away, his stomach turning at Shiro’s tone. 

“You still think I should take that stuff? Really?”

“I just…” Keith’s shoulders slumped as he turned and looked at the pills. “Takashi, you’re suffering. Last night was scary.”

“Some prescription isn’t gonna make it magically go away.” Shiro glared, shifting so his knee wasn’t pressed against Keith’s. They weren’t touching anymore. 

“It won’t, but it’ll help. It’ll help ground you a little when you have to cope with triggers.” The look on Shiro’s face was scaring him, but he had to at least try to make the case. Shiro  _ needed _ to be medicated. His PTSD was serious and it could get in the way of his job, but more importantly, his happiness. He wasn’t going to be able to enjoy any kind of quality of life if he never slept and had full panic attacks any time he encountered a trigger. 

“Keith, I don’t  _ need _ pills. I’m fine. I have it under control.”

“Takashi, you don’t.” Keith said as much as it hurt to admit. “I always have to bring you out of it. What’s gonna happen when I’m not there?”

“I’ll get over it on my own if it happens.” Shiro grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned back against the couch. “I mean, how do you see me? I’m a crazy person now?”

“What? Takashi, I would never  _ ever _ call you crazy, I just-”

“You just think I need meds, why don’t I just check myself into the mental hospital while we’re at it?”

“Takashi…” Keith felt tears welling up again and swore under his breath, turning away from Shiro and hugging himself. That’s how Shiro saw people who had to take medication? What on Earth had he thought of him back in his cadet days? He always had his prescriptions out in the dorm. He knew Shiro had seen them. “I-I just… I-I just want to help you feel better.” Why the fuck was he crying so easily? He’d been through hell in space and hardly shed a tear. Now he felt like bawling just because of a few harsh words from Shiro.

“By turning me into some kind of medicated zombie?” His voice was raising.

“No, I-”

“Why would you want me to do that?” 

His tone was biting and it made Keith feel nauseous. Shiro was always so kind and understanding with him, almost never getting angry. It scared him to see his partner be so hostile and the way he was talking about medication was tearing a hole in his heart. He hadn’t had a clue back then how much Shiro must have been judging him and now what was he supposed to do? He was thinking he really needed to get back on his meds, but it felt like Shiro would hate him for doing that.

“I’m sorry I said anything.” Keith croaked, keeping his eyes locked on the floor.

“Geeze.” Shiro rolled his eyes and Keith practically crumpled, squeezing his eyes shut to hold tears in. Why was Shiro being so fucking mean about it? “You know if you want to fill your body with chemicals and alter your brain until you’re a robot, go ahead, but I’m not doing that to myself. I’m not crazy.”

A sob fell from Keith’s lips before he could stop it, his chest heaving the emotion right out of him before he could cover his mouth in time. He  _ wasn’t crazy _ . 

“...Keith?”

Keith just shook his head and kept his eyes squeezed shut. He wasn’t going to do this. He wasn’t going to break down for the second time in a week. What the fuck was wrong with him that he couldn’t keep his emotions in check lately? Getting angry was normal for him, but the crying? Fuck, he hated crying, but Shiro’s words were breaking his heart and the hostile tone he’d been using just sent his brain right back to the home, getting cursed at and talked down to by the supervisors. 

“Keith…” Shiro’s tone was soft again. “Hey, I… I-I didn’t mean to make you cry, what’s going on?”

“How could you say that stuff to me?” Keith croaked, opening his eyes and letting the tears roll down his cheeks - as much as it embarrassed him. “That’s just… That’s fucking cruel, Shiro.” He wanted to storm out, go have his breakdown on his own and come back, but he had nowhere to go. Where would he leave to if he walked out of their apartment right then? Everyone was with their families. All he had was Shiro.

Shiro looked dumbfounded, his mouth hanging slightly open as he looked at the hurt on Keith’s face. “Baby-”

“Don’t call me that right now.” Keith sniffled. “All I want to do is help you. All I want is for you to be happy and I’m afraid that you’re gonna go to work and lose your shit when something triggers you and you’ll lose your place at the Garrison. You’d be miserable a-and all I want is to prevent more bad things from happening to you. I’m here to take care of you and you throw my issues back in my face like that? It just… Fuck, Shiro that fucking hurt.” He choked back another sob and stood up. “I’m getting in the shower.”

“Keith, I don’t understand what I-”

Keith just held his hand up to stop him and headed for their bathroom. It wasn’t the same as walking out, but it was as alone as he could get. He locked the door behind him and turned the shower on, quick to strip himself down and barricade himself behind the closed glass door before he let himself sob again.

Crying in the shower felt infinitely easier and less humiliating. He let it out quietly, the water washing away any evidence of tears.

It wasn’t like Shiro to be so hurtful. Sure, they’d only really fought one other time - after dinner with the Holts when Keith had to beg him not to pilot - but that was an enormous decision they had to make. It wasn’t petty like this felt. He felt weak for crying and that poured salt in the wound. Shiro must think he was the weakest, craziest person alive if he was that hard set against medication. Maybe he was weak. 

“Keith?” Shiro knocked on the bathroom door. “Baby, I don’t know how I insulted you, but please talk to me.”

How could he not know? 

“I can give you space if you need it, but are you okay? It’s not like you to cry if something’s not seriously wrong.”

His chest ached. Something  _ was _ seriously wrong. Shiro was his everything and he thought he was crazy and weak. It pulled another sob from his lips. 

“Keith, I’m gonna come in if you can’t tell me you’re alright.”

“Don’t!” Keith exclaimed, suddenly feeling way more exposed than before. He was naked and crying, he couldn’t be seen like that. Not even by Shiro. 

“Are you okay?”

“I’m… I-I’m coming out.” Keith stuttered as he shut the water off and climbed out to grab a towel. He was quick to dry himself off and get his pants back on before he opened the door, his eyes still pink and wet when he opened it to face Shiro.

“Keith, I know you want me to take the meds, but what did I say to hurt you like that?” Shiro’s eyebrows pushed together in concern as he looked him over. 

“Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Of course not, why would you think that?”

Keith cast his eyes down on the floor. “Do you think I’m weak?”

“You’re the strongest person I know, where are you getting this?” Shiro put his hands on Keith’s bare shoulders. “What’s going on?”

“Shiro I’ve been on meds since my dad died. I just had to stop when we went to space because I didn’t have them, but I’ve always been on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I thought you knew that and you just said all that horrible stuff about it. How was I supposed to feel?”

“What?” Shiro’s face fell. “Keith, I didn’t know that.”

“You didn’t notice all the pill bottles in my room?”

“I-I didn’t, or at least not enough to know what they were.”

Keith’s shoulders slumped. “So… What do you think of me?”

“I am… so sorry. Holy shit.” Shiro yanked him into a hug and squeezed tight. “Keith, I never would have said all that stuff if I knew.” He kissed the top of his head. “I didn’t mean to be so nasty about it, I just really, really don’t want to have to go on medication if I don’t have to. Adam used to take that stuff and it just made him so… unresponsive. I always felt like he would have been better off without it and back when I was sick, I just had to take so many fucking pills around the clock every day and they always made me feel like shit. I just want to be able to overcome these panic attacks on my own.”

Keith nodded. “I get it, I just… I don’t want you to be in pain. You know it’s not a weakness to need meds right? They’ll help you. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy if you need them.”

“I know, I just… Let me try to get by without them for a little longer, okay?”

“Would you be pissed if I went back on mine?”

“Of course not.” Shiro dipped down and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Keith, I’m so sorry. That must have really hurt you.”

Keith just breathed a sigh of relief and leaned into his touch. His hair was still soaked and it dripped onto Shiro’s shoulder as he hugged him. “I hate fighting with you, Takashi.”

“Can I make it up to you? All you do is take care of me. I have no right to hurt you.”

Keith softened a little in his arms and glanced back inside the bathroom. “Bubble bath?” He was a little embarrassed at how cheesy the request was, but nothing recharged their love for each other like a bath in that big tub. 

“I’ll get it ready” Shiro smiled, pressing one more kiss to the side of his nose. “Let’s get you warmed up.”

**

The bath did help. Keith leaned back against Shiro and let himself be held, the warm water relaxing them both as they came down from the shock of fighting. 

When they got out, Keith assembled the juicer in the kitchen and Shiro set the couch up with plenty of extra blankets and pillows for movie night. They’d shut the pills away in the medicine cabinet, there for when Shiro needed them and Keith trusted that if things kept proving too difficult, Shiro would take the prescription.

“How’s your finger?” Keith asked, looking down at where he held Shiro’s hand, his head tucked safely into the crook of his neck. 

“It’s fine. Can’t believe I freaked out over such a little cut.”

“At least we know blood is an issue now.” 

“Yeah.” Shiro grimaced. 

“We’ll figure out all your triggers and learn to deal with them. It’ll be okay.” Keith leaned up and turned Shiro’s face away from the TV, so he could give him a proper kiss, sighing against his mouth. “Can we not fight, like, ever again?”

“I hope so.” Shiro laughed, nuzzling their noses together. “I’m still sorry about everything tonight. Do you need any help from me to get back on your meds? We need to get you insurance.”

“Let’s deal with it in the morning.” Keith said as he pressed a few more lazy kisses to Shiro’s neck. He was never fast to forgive with anyone but Shiro and he was thankful for that. He was able to melt right into him after making up, feeling just as in love as before. “Hey Takashi?”

“Hm?”

“Do you want to maybe… try having sex soon? Not tonight, but… soon?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled. “Are you comfortable with that?”

“Mhm.” Keith shut his eyes and listened to the movie play as he snuggled into Shiro. He was still worried sick, but at least now he knew Shiro would come to a responsible decision about things if his mental health didn’t improve. They were okay and they were in it together.

“Are you sure you’re okay after earlier? I wish I hadn’t said any of it, I was just upset.”

“I’m okay. All I care about is that you’re sorry.”  

“Okay.” Shiro breathed, tightening his hold and pressing a kiss to each of Keith’s cheeks just to make him blush. “I love you. No more fighting.”

“I love you too, Takashi.” Keith grinned, leaning his face up, so Shiro would kiss him some more. “No more fighting.”


	6. Feel The Heat (lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE THE TAG UPDATES HMMMMMMMMM
> 
> Keith starts to notice his alien biology might be affecting him more than he thought. Maybe there's a way Shiro can help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall already KNOW what chapter this gon be

Keith was the one with the nightmares that night. He shot up in bed at two a.m., sweaty and gasping after dreaming of Shiro disappearing again. In the dream, he’d woken up in an empty bed and couldn’t find a trace of Shiro no matter where he looked, but as soon as he woke up in real life, he saw his boyfriend sound asleep next to him.  _ Thank God _ .

“Keith?” Shiro yawned. “You up?”

“Sorry.” He breathed, laying back down next to him. “Bad dream.”

“Really? Come here.” Shiro smiled, always cuddly when he was half asleep. He slid right up to him and draped his human arm over his hips, pressing a few kisses to Keith’s shoulder before shutting his eyes again. “You’re really warm. Like warmer than usual.”

“Probably just stressed.” Keith sighed, relaxing against Shiro’s touch and putting his arms around him. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“I don’t mind.” Shiro mumbled as he nuzzled his cheek against Keith’s chest. “You need me to stay up with you?”

“No.” Keith laughed, his heart warm at the offer and the affection that sleepy Shiro liked showing. 

“Seriously,  _ so warm _ .” Shiro groaned. “Love it. This apartment’s freezing.”

Keith smiled a bit and ran his fingers through Shiro’s hair, watching him practically purr at the touch. He was still a little shaken from the dream, but it was tough to be upset with Shiro in his arms. Shit, what was going on with his emotions though? He never had nightmares.

Shiro was already fast asleep again, holding onto Keith like some kind of giant teddy bear. He looked too adorable like that. His hair was all over and he was snoring softly again already, his breath warm on Keith’s bare chest. It was nice to see him sleep peacefully for once. Maybe he could deal with the PTSD without meds.

“Sweet dreams.” Keith whispered, unable to resist pressing one more kiss to Shiro’s forehead before he fell back asleep himself. 

**

Shiro had to leave in the morning to get Commander Holt’s help on lesson plans. He was going to be teaching introductory flight training for first year cadets and Keith was over the moon to see how excited he was to teach, so he woke up early to make breakfast and see him off before he remembered his predicament. 

Shit, what was he supposed to do with Shiro gone all day?

He started with a work out. He didn’t feel like being ogled at in the gym. Strenuous training could bring his Galra eyes out sometimes, so he just moved the coffee table back and did an ab routine the old fashioned way. Back on the time whale, exercise had kept him sane. It should keep him sane in an empty apartment too, right?

He pushed it until his core felt weak and his arms were sore then showered off the sweat before collapsing on the sofa. He didn’t feel right just lounging around and watching TV, but he couldn’t think of what else to do. He sure as hell wasn’t going out.

Keith found Titanic on TV and settled in for a little nostalgia, hugging a throw pillow to his chest as he watched the movie from the halfway point. 

Fuck, he wanted Shiro to come home. He couldn’t get it off his mind that they’d agreed on being ready for sex. Tonight could be the night. Maybe he’d initiate something when Shiro came home - if he was in a good mood - and if Shiro seemed comfortable, they could do it. If not, he could always jack off in the shower, but he was craving something much more than that. It was like there was a knot in his stomach that didn’t want to come undone until he got the life fucked out of him. 

The time went by and holy fuck, he’d forgotten how sad Titanic was. He felt his eyes well up the moment the boat started sinking and sprang up from the couch like a shot to pause it.  _ What the fuck? _ He’d fought an alien war in space and he was  _ crying over Titanic _ . What was going on with him? 

Before he could figure out too much, the data pad on their kitchen counter buzzed and his eyes lit up - literally - as he ran over to answer it. Sure, anyone on Earth could call their phones, but there was only one person who’d still try to reach him from space. 

“Hey Mom.” Keith grinned when he answered, Krolia’s face popping up on the hologrammed screen. She looked like she was in a BOM base. “How’s the mission going?”

“It’s going good, Kiddo. Just thought I’d check in. How’s everything going down there?”

“It’s been good. Shiro got a job teaching at the Garrison and I’m kind of figuring things out. We moved in together.”

“I bet you’re excited about that.”

“Yeah.” He blushed. 

“Have you been crying?”

“Huh?!” Keith’s face turned bright red. “No?  _ No _ .” He shook his head. “You’re seeing stuff.”

“Keith I spent two years on a space whale with you. I know what your eyes look like. Is something wrong? It’s not like you to just cry at anything.”

“That’s kind of the problem.” He grimaced. “I’ve been… I don’t know, emotional lately? It’s weird and it sucks. Me and Shiro had these two arguments and I figured it was a little out of the ordinary for me to cry instead of just getting pissed, but… Mom I just cried at Titanic.”

“The Earth movie?”

He hung his head in shame. 

“How old are you again? Twenty-two?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

Krolia put a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. 

“What?!”

“Have you felt your sex drive increase?”

“ _ Mom!” _

“Well, have you?” Krolia snickered, still pressing her fist to her lips to try and control the laughter. 

“A little bit.” He glared. “What of it?”

“I didn’t know if it would happen to you because you’re half Galra, but Hon, you’re cycling for the first time.”

“I’m  _ what _ ?”

“It’s like what Earth women get once a month, but without the blood. Your dad explained it to me once, but yeah, a few days a month all Galra have a period where they’re a little more emotional, or aggressive, and uh there’s a huge sex drive increase. It’s supposed to help you find a mate, but that’s not exactly an issue for you, being human and all. Just let it pass.” She shrugged. “Maybe let Shiro know. You won’t go into heat, but you might go into some form of it? Your mood will probably just be sensitive.”

“I am not telling him that I’m on my alien period, oh my God.” Keith groaned, putting his head down on the counter and knocking his forehead against the hard surface a few times. “How am I supposed to live on Earth when I’ve got all this freaky stuff going on?”

“It’s just a few days. Be thankful for not being full Galra. You’d have to go through a real heat. I guess you could possibly do that anyways, but we’ll wait and see.”

“ _ What?!” _

“Oh shoot, I’ve gotta go.” Krolia frowned, looking off to the side. “Mission trouble. I’ll call again soon, okay? Tell Shiro you’re cycling, so he can help you.”

“I am not telling him that.”

“Your call.” She shrugged. “See ya, Kiddo.”

The call hung up and Krolia’s image disappeared, leaving Keith more confused than ever. If he didn’t feel like he fit in on Earth before, he certainly didn’t now. Maybe that explained why his eyes had been glowing so much more lately. Either way, he still had that knot in his stomach and he was aching for Shiro to get home. It’d probably take a good amount of self control not to just jump him. 

Keith killed time cleaning the whole apartment. There wasn’t much to clean, but he scrubbed counters and swept the floors anyways. Anything to make time go by until Shiro would get home and he could finally get rid of this stupid itch. Not to mention, he was pining for it emotionally after their fight yesterday. He wanted to strip Shiro down and make up with him properly. 

Just two more hours.

**

“Keit, I’m ba- Oh!” Shiro blushed when he walked in the front door, shutting and locking it behind him as Keith stood in the living room to greet him in just a pair of boxer-briefs. It was a little forward for Keith, but shit, Krolia hadn’t exaggerated about this cycle thing. His whole body was warm, his eyes glowing just barely enough to tell, and he was  _ dying _ to get Shiro back to their bedroom. 

“I missed you.” Keith smiled, walking up and taking Shiro’s bag, setting it on the ground for him before he put his arms around his neck. “Did you get a lot done?”

“Um… Yeah? It went pretty well.” Shiro said as he trailed his human hand down Keith’s side, wanting to feel the bare skin. “You’re insanely warm lately.” He laughed, resting his hand on Keith’s hip. “Seriously, you’re like a thousand degrees. Is that some Galra thing?”

Keith’s face turned red. “No, it’s just me.”

Shiro raised his eyebrows. “It’s totally a Galra thing isn’t it?”

“It’s embarrassing, just forget it.” Keith said as he got on his toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. “You don’t want to know about my weird alien biology.”

“Yes I do, it’s part of you.”

Keith rolled his eyes. Did Shiro have to be so sweet about everything?

“Tell me.” Shiro grinned, giving Keith’s stomach a playful poke. “I think your Galra stuff is cool.”

“You’re  _ not _ gonna think this is cool.”

“Sure I will.” He squeezed Keith’s waist and pressed his lips to his forehead. “Hey, if you tell me, then we can do whatever it is you were planning, okay?”

That was pretty decent motivation. “Promise you won’t be grossed out?”

“Promise.” Shiro nodded, keeping his hand on Keith’s hip. 

“So... “ Keith felt his face turn pink again. “Apparently, when you’re in your early twenties, you start having something called a cycle and for like a few days every month, I’m gonna get kind of horny and emotional and it sucks and it’s gross and this is my first one. Mom explained it to me on the phone.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Shiro shrugged. 

“You’re not gonna make a period joke?”

“Nope. If there’s gonna be a time every month where you’re a little more sensitive, sounds like you need a little extra love and attention if anything.” He dipped down and pressed a chaste kiss to Keith’s lips. “How do you want to do it?”

“How do  _ you  _ want to do it?” Keith asked. He may be ready to pounce on him if it would get him an orgasm, but he hadn’t forgotten that Shiro might have some unknown triggers. He didn’t want their first time having sex to be a disaster, or something that would make Shiro afraid. 

“I kind of go both ways.” Shiro said as he nuzzled their noses together. “I can fuck you, you can fuck me. Whatever you want.”

Keith shivered at the options. Those were some  _ great _ mental images. “I’m not sure if I like topping or bottoming more, but right now, I just really want you to fuck me.”

“You can compromise and ride me if you want. Best of both worlds kinda.”

“Oh  _ fuck _ , that’s perfect. Can we please go and do this now?”

“Yeah.” Shiro laughed, picking him up and tossing him over his shoulder like he weighed less than a bag of flower. 

“Takashi!” Keith yelped as Shiro carried him off to the bedroom. “Aren’t you supposed to do this bridal style or something? Picking me up like a sack of potatoes is  _ not romantic _ .”

“You’re too easy to pick up.” Shiro beamed when he brought him into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him and tossing Keith down on the bed. 

Lord, he was already hard just from being picked up that way. “Lock the door please.”

“On it.” Shiro locked the door to the bedroom, shut the curtains, even closed the door to the adjoining bathroom just so Keith would feel nice and shut in. “I put lube and stuff in the nightstand in case we needed it.”

“Always prepared. You’re still such a boy scout.” Keith teased as he reached over to open the drawer. He’d used lotion as lube during that first time and it had  _ not _ worked like he thought it would. He took out the tube of strawberry flavored lube and the condom to match and laughed. “You’re gonna make my ass smell like strawberry shortcake.”

“Guess I’ll have to eat it then.”

“Takashi!” Keith had to yell for a second time, but he was laughing again. Lord, if the rest of the paladins could see their strong stoic leader making sex jokes. “Come here already.”

Shiro stripped himself of his shirt first and pulled his belt out of a pair of black jeans that made Keith’s mouth water. Maybe they should go clothes shopping one more time just to keep the thrill of always seeing Shiro in new outfits going. He dropped his jeans to the floor and stepped out of them, leaving himself in the same state of undress as Keith before he slid into bed next to him. 

Keith was desperate enough that he put his nerves aside and admired how natural it felt to melt right into Shiro. He thought for sure he’d want to be on top when they did this, but the itch in the pit of his stomach said otherwise. He wanted to be  _ taken _ and he wanted Shiro to fuck him so hard he wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. 

He opened his legs immediately, letting Shiro’s thigh press between them and parting his lips for his tongue. 

“Hey, I want to show you something.” Shiro whispered when he leaned up to nibble on his ear, sending a wave of heat right down Keith’s spine.

“If it’s not your dick, I’m gonna complain.”

“Soon.” Shiro laughed, rolling off to Keith’s side and reaching for the lube. 

“You’re gonna use that hand?” Keith blinked as he watched Shiro coat his white mechanical fingers in lube. 

“Just two, so it won’t hurt you, but uh… You’ll like it. I promise. I figured out something I can do with it.”

“Okay.” Keith shrugged. It made him a tiny bit nervous, but he trusted Shiro not to hurt him. “Can you hurry up with it?”

“You’re so lucky I don’t feel like teasing you right now.” Shiro said as Keith wiggled out of his briefs, tossing them to the corner of the room to expose the desperate hard on he was sporting. Shiro poured a little extra lube onto his human hand and reached down to spread it around Keith’s entrance, making sure nothing would hurt him too much. 

“Cold.” Keith shivered, turning his cheek against the pillow and biting on his lower lip as Shiro’s fingers massaged around the hole, occasionally dipping in ever so slightly to get him ready for one of the large fingers on his hover hand. “Takashi, I can take it.” He didn’t know if he really could, but fuck, he wanted it. “Just show me what you wanted to do.”

“Okay.” Shiro laughed, pressing a kiss to Keith’s forehead as he let his metal hand float over between Keith’s legs, the tip of his index finger nudging at the taught space. “Ready?”

“Yes, fuck, don’t tease me or I’ll go into some kind of Galra rage shit.”

“I think that’s a little far fetched.” Shiro said as he pushed the index finger in and Keith  _ purred _ , letting out a gentle hum of pleasure as he spread his legs a little wider. 

“What did you wanna show m- Ah!” Keith cried out, his hands flying up to cover his face when the finger started to vibrate. “Your hand can fucking do this?!” He gasped as Shiro nudged the finger up against his prostate. Any pain from the initial stretch had subsided with the pleasure radiating from between his legs. “Takashiiii.” He whined, embarrassed at the desperation in his voice, but unable to control it. The vibrations were  _ powerful _ and Shiro was right on the spot. “I-I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.”

“Sorry.” Shiro grinned, putting a stop to the vibrations and kissing the top of Keith’s head. “Cool, right?”

“Yes, fuck. Hurry and stretch me, I want you.”

“You’re demanding when you’re like this.” Shiro said, pushing a second finger inside and sliding down to give Keith a kiss while he adjusted to the slight pain. He let the fingers vibrate again, but not as powerfully as before, just a low hum to help distract Keith from the pain without giving him enough stimulation to cum. “Your body is so fucking cool.” He whispered against Keith’s lips, his eyes meeting Keith’s glowing ones. “I love every single part of it.”

“You’re the one with the vibrator hand.”

“That is a pretty cool part of me.” Shiro smirked as he worked the fingers in and out. “Do you feel ready? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh fuck, I forgot you’re hung like an elephant.” Keith sighed. “I think I’m okay now.”

“Okay, I’m gonna just put this out of the way.” Shiro said as he hovered the mechanical arm away and set it on the nightstand. 

“Come here.” Keith murmured, the emotional side effects of the cycle bubbling up again. Shiro was being so caring and doting on him, that he couldn’t resist returning the favor a little. He wrapped one arm around Shiro’s neck to hold him place and locked their lips together, kissing him with parted lips over and over as he reached his free hand down to massage the bulge in Shiro’s boxers. 

“I love you.” Shiro breathed between kisses and Keith returned the words without hesitation. 

“I love you too. Sure you want this?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “You?”

“I think I would drop dead if we stopped right now.” Keith pressed the heel of his hand down on Shiro’s bulge and felt his heart pound when he groaned, a wet spot forming against his hand. “Ready?”

Shiro just kissed him again and lifted his hips, letting Keith push down the fabric and toss his boxers haphazardly towards the hamper, so he could roll the condom onto Shiro himself.

Keith took the lube and poured a generous amount into his palm before taking Shiro in his hand. 

_ “Keith _ .” Shiro breathed, leaning in to kiss him again as Keith worked his hand over his full length. It was almost a two-hand job, but Keith got him slicked up and ready before pressing him onto his back. 

His dick was practically aching with the yearn to be touched and the sooner he accomplished the Herculean task of actually getting Shiro inside him, he’d be able to get some relief. “Touch me.” He sighed as he straddled Shiro’s hips, reaching down to take Shiro’s length and hold it upright. 

“Whatever this cycle thing does to you, I really like the confidence.” Shiro grinned, wrapping his hand around Keith and tugging. 

“ _ Hhh! _ ” Keith gasped, twitching in Shiro’s grip. “Keep touching.” He started to slowly sink down and winced when Shiro’s tip stretched him, but the hand on his dick was distracting him enough to push further. It hurt, but he wanted to bottom out. He wanted to feel Shiro completely, have him so far inside him that he could feel how hard his heart was beating. 

“Baby, let yourself adjust.” Shiro said when Keith sunk all the way down, touching him with slow, loving strokes. 

“Hold on, sit up, sit up.” Keith said, lifting himself up a bit - careful to keep Shiro inside him - so Shiro could sit up against the headboard of the bed. The position brought them close enough to kiss and Keith took advantage. “Takashi.” He breathed, rolling his hips through the pain and leaning in for an open-mouthed kiss. His eyes were glowing yellow and hot, enough to be easily seen in the bright room.

“You’re so fucking hot.” Shiro groaned. “I mean, fuck.” He pushed his hips up to meet with Keith’s ass. “I-I mean you’re like a thousand degrees. You’re really, really sexy too, but your body temperature, Baby. It feels so good.”

Keith took his hands from Shiro’s shoulders and groaned when he felt his skin. He was red hot. He always ran a little warmer than the average human, but he felt like he was in a sauna. The pain was subsided, his hips adjusted to the massive intruder inside of him and he started to ease himself up and down. 

“I love every part of you so much.” Shiro said, leaning up to kiss him as he grinded his hips against Keith. “Baby, you’re so good.”

Keith groaned against Shiro’s lips and tried to keep his sharpened teeth at a safe distance from his partner’s tongue. He pushed his hips up into Shiro’s fist as he moved them up and down, fucking himself on Shiro’s cock and  _ fuck _ , this was exactly what he needed. 

_ Maybe this half-Galra stuff is worth while _ , Keith thought as he picked up the pace. He would say it was the best sex of his life, but the only other time he’d done it hadn’t gone too well. The bar was pretty low, but it didn’t make Shiro any less magical. 

“Takashi.” Keith whispered. “Use your mouth. Nipples. I-I really like when you- Ah!” He cried out, his head tipping back as Shiro bent his head to mouth at one of his nipples, his tongue massaging the sensitive nub. He gave it a little nibble and Keith clamped a hand over his mouth, muffling a scream. If he wasn’t anxious about neighbors hearing and catching them, he would have  _ literally _ screamed.

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro growled against his chest, moving up to his neck and sucking hard on the skin as he pushed his hips up. 

“Fuck me, Takashi.” Keith gasped, the itch in the pit of his stomach pushing any lingering shyness to the side. “Fuck me. You’re so fucking big.”

Shiro grunted and took his hand from Keith’s erection, flipping their position to land Keith on his back, so he could snap his hips back and forth, driving into him at a pace so punishing, Keith thought he might burn right through the mattress. 

“Yes!” Keith yelped, biting down on his fist as Shiro pressed deeper and deeper into him. His legs were trembling with pleasure, his orgasm growing from the pit of his stomach as Shiro scratched the itch over and  _ over _ again. 

“Cum for me, Baby.”

“I’m there.” Keith whimpered, wrapping his legs around Shiro’s hips, his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “Fuck me, Takashi… Fuck me… Right there.” He groaned as Shiro found the perfect angle on his prostate. “Right there, Takashi… Don’t stop, don’t stop,  _ right there, right there, a-ahh!”  _ He covered his mouth both hands and dug his heels into Shiro’s ass to make him stay inside as his entire body convulsed and he came more than he ever had in his life, over Shiro’s chest and both of their abs. He had to be dehydrated from it and Shiro followed right after him, shivering as he rolled his hips and emptied into the condom.

“Holy shit.” Shiro breathed, collapsing over him and smothering his neck and collar in lazy kisses. “Keith, you’re amazing. I fucking love you. I literally see no downside to this cycle thing you’re going through if we get to fuck like that.”

“Wow.” Keith panted, laughing a little as he rubbed his hands down Shiro’s back. “That really was good… I’m glad I went on the bottom, so… Least I’ve got one good experience down here.”

“God Baby, I wish I could go back in time and keep that from happening to you.” Shiro leaned up and planted a kiss on Keith’s lips, gently swiping his tongue over the bottom lip and nuzzling their noses together. “Shower?”

“Yeah.” Keith grinned. “Can you uh… Maybe get out of me now?”

“Oh! Shit, sorry.” Shiro said, carefully backing out and kissing Keith again when he winced. “Take some Tylenol before we hop in.”

Keith loved that the bathroom seemed to be their own personal little hideaway as they got out of bed and headed for the shower. It was so closed off and intimate, the water making them completely relaxed. He took some Tylenol from the medicine cabinet before stepping into the shower with Shiro and letting all remaining tension be massaged away. Shit, he could stress about all the things he had to worry about later although he was pretty anxious about the neighbors hearing him get fucked like a wild animal.

Shiro washed Keith’s hair and his back, kissing him every time they faced each other before they got out of the shower and he pulled a stool up to the sink. 

“What’s that for?” Keith frowned. 

“You said you’re a little emotional right now, yeah?”

“Um…” Keith bit his lip. Not too much at the moment, but a little bit. He was feeling pretty lovey dovey after being doted on so much and having sex with the love of his life for the first time, but he didn’t want Shiro to think he was fragile now. He may get weepy a few days a month, but crying and getting overly emotional wasn’t going to be his new norm. 

“Just right now, Baby. I know you’re not made of glass.”

“You’re too much of a mind reader.” Keith sighed. “What do you want to do?”

“When ever I feel kind of down, or just sensitive, whatever, a little affection goes a long way. Want me to dry your hair? I know you like it touched.”

“Um.” Keith blinked. “Yeah, if you want to.”

“Great, come here.” Shiro grinned, patting the stool and letting Keith take a seat while he took out his hair brush and the blow dryer. “You know, I hate that you have that scar on your face because of me, but you do look really sexy.” He plugged the hair dryer in and planted a kiss into Keith’s wet hair before brushing it through. 

“You’re too amazing sometimes.” Keith sighed, shutting his eyes as Shiro handled his hair. “Mm…” He knew deep down that these little relationship preferences Shiro had probably came from his experiences with Adam, but he didn’t care. 

“By the way Baby, I got you put on my health insurance with the Garrison.”

“ _ What? _ ” Keith gaped. “There are  _ married _ couples in this building that have to argue for insurance.”

“You know better than anyone that I can make the Garrison work with me. You can use it to find a therapist and get back on your medication. Just take the insurance card from my wallet and see the Garrison shrink.” He combed out a knot and bent down to kiss his cheek. “Or just tell me if you want to find a private one and we’ll pay out of pocket.”

“Takashi.” Keith blushed. “You’re really okay with me doing that?”

“Of course I am. Please don’t let the fit I threw about my prescription make you feel bad, okay? That was just about me. Not you.”

“Okay… I mean, I don’t think I’m gonna actually go back to therapy or anything, but I do want to get back on my meds. I think it’ll help me uh… in public.”

“Whatever you want to do.” Shiro gave his shoulder a squeeze and used his hover arm to bring the blow dryer over. “Now close your eyes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolll i hope yall enjoyed this chapter i know it was a little bit of a wait


	7. Shackled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Shiro start settlin into this new life yall!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late oof

“What brings you in?”

“Uh… How much time you got?” Keith scratched the back of his neck. “Kidding. I uh… I just want to get back on my old anti-anxiety meds. I was on them pretty regularly for a couple years and they helped. I still remember my prescription if you just want to-”

“Well, we don’t just hand out medication.” The therapist said in a tone that left little room for argument. “I watch the news, so I know who you are and what you’ve gone through - somewhat. I’d still like to use today’s session to get to know you before I prescribe, but that doesn’t mean I’ll withhold medicine that you need. You’ve just gotta talk it out a bit first, sound fair?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed, leaning back against the cushy sofa and tracing the seashell wallpaper patterns with his eyes. He knew this is how it would be, but he’d still hoped to get out of it. He’d been through the therapy wringer before. He knew he wasn’t getting out of there without recounting all of his problems. 

“What are you most anxious about?”

“Uh, Shiro getting hurt I guess.” He shrugged. “Being seen in public together as, like, a couple.”

“Why are you anxious to be seen?”

“I mean, I love him. That’s no secret or anything and I’m proud to be with him, but people are shitty. I don’t want some random guy calling us faggots, or picking a fight. I just… wanna be with Shiro. That’s it.” Keith kept his eyes on his lap to avoid the awkwardness of voicing all his personal problems. 

“Have you been picked on before?”

He laughed. “The Garrison isn’t a fan of gay cadets. They tortured me here.”

“Hm.” She frowned. “Let’s talk about that.”

Keith told the story as bluntly as he could, not wanting to get worked up. He spared the details and told her what she needed to know. He was grieving, he found another gay cadet, he had sex, he got caught, he beat the shit out of some people. The end. 

He didn’t have to explain much about why he was terrified of anything happening to Shiro. That was pretty self explanatory with the story of Voltron being public knowledge. 

He didn’t clam up until sex was on the discussion table. 

“Do you feel those social anxieties when you have sex with Shiro? If you’re comfortable answering.”

Keith’s eyes lit up as his face turned pink. “Um… N-No, not really. As long as the doors and windows are all locked, I’m usually fine. We spend a lot of time in the shower because it feels so private and comfortable for me.”

“Do you have sex often?”

“We kind of just started.” Keith blushed. “We didn’t really have time to really have a relationship in space and I didn’t want to rush him because of his PTSD and all his triggers and he didn’t want to rush me because he thought I’d never been with anyone before. I don’t really count that one time as being with someone before though. Not really.”

“Well that seems healthy, Keith. You two seem to communicate well.”

“Yeah.” Keith smiled. “He’s thoughtful like that. I was afraid he’d hate me for asking him not to pilot, but he seems super excited over teaching and he comes home happy. I like that.”

They went over a few more things before the tedious session ended - although Keith did relish a little bit in the opportunity to just talk about Shiro for a bit. They went over more precise information about the symptoms of his anxiety, how prone he was to panic attacks, and the therapist handed over the same prescription he’d had before. 

It was a bit of a weight off his shoulders knowing he’d be breathing easier. The whole cycle thing was driving him up a wall. Sure, a therapist’s office wasn’t the sexiest setting, but as soon as he walked out and realized Shiro was waiting for him at home, he was practically in heat again. He had to shrug his jacket off to hold in front of himself for the uncomfortable walk back to the apartment. 

Keith swore Shiro was trying to kill him when he walked back in. He could see Shiro in the kitchen, clad in nothing but tight boxer shorts, cooking breakfast. That sight was doing  _ nothing _ for the situation in his pants. “Shiro?” He asked as he headed into the kitchen. 

“Hm? Hi Baby, did it go well?”

“Yeah, I got the prescription. What are you uh…” He let his eyes wander down Shiro’s  _ very exposed _ body. “Doing?”

“Just cooking.”

“Naked?”

“I’m not naked. You walk around in your underwear all the time.” Shiro slid a pan full of scrambled eggs onto a plate and shut the stove off. “What’s up?”

Keith was practically twitching between his legs. “Did you forget I’m kind of in uh… a certain state?”

“Hm? Oh!” Shiro’s eyes went wide. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to work you up or anything.” He stepped forward and took Keith’s jacket away to see. “Wow.” He laughed. “Baby, you’re really uh…”

“I can’t help it.” He sighed. “It’s kind of painful. Help me?” He felt pitiful asking for sex, but damn, his balls  _ ached _ with this kind of want. It wasn’t the usual, natural mood that he got in when he wanted to do something a little fun or intimate with Shiro, it was something primal that needed release, or he felt like he was dehydrated.

“I actually think this whole thing you’re going through is kind of adorable.” Shiro smiled as he shut the sliding door that separated the combined kitchen and dining room from the den, dropping Keith’s jacket to the floor and patting the marble counter. “Up.”

Keith obeyed and groaned in relief when Shiro undid his pants. His heart even thumped a bit just from Shiro remembering to close any doors that they could to put his mind at ease. 

Shiro was quick to shove Keith’s jeans down to his ankles and let him kick them off, standing between Keith’s open legs with a grin on his face. “I love that you want me like this. I know you’re hormonal, but it’s just really cute seeing you get desperate and stuff.”

“I’m glad you find my alien biology cute, but if you don’t touch me right now, I’m gonna have a stroke.” 

Shiro nodded and ran his human hand up the inside of Keith’s thigh, pressing a kiss to Keith’s cheek as well to feel how hot the skin was before he bent down to take care of him. 

The blowjob was expert and efficient, Shiro going down on him with the goal of relieving his tension, but with the added undertone of so much love and affection. It overwhelmed Keith to the point he couldn’t stop whimpering. 

If Keith had the frame of mind, he would have taken notes on the way Shiro was using his tongue, but forming words was far out of his realm of capability. 

“Takashi.” Keith panted not two minutes into it. “Takashi, I’m gonna cum. Y-You don’t have to swallow, but I’m  _ right there _ .”

Shiro opened his eyes to look up at him and hummed, sending Keith toppling over the edge of orgasm so hard, he might’ve toppled off the counter too if Shiro’s hover hand wasn’t keeping his hips in place. 

He watched with his mouth open in a silent scream as he came down Shiro’s throat, his partner swallowing every bit of it. Holy shit.

“You better not have spoiled my appetite with that. I worked hard on breakfast this morning.” Shiro grinned, rising to kiss Keith’s lips and reaching behind him for a few paper towels to clean him up. “I’ve gotta get going soon, but come eat with me, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathed, knocking his head back against the china cabinet. “Fuck, Shiro.”

“You’re adorable.” Shiro said as he cleaned him up and tossed the paper towels in the trash bin. “Feel better?”

“Way better.” He said as he hopped off the counter and got his pants back on. “What about you? You slept through the night.”

“I feel fine.” Shiro shrugged, wiping down the counter before moving to set the table. “The lesson plans are coming together and I’m pretty excited to get started. I don’t really have much to worry about.”

“Great.” Keith sighed, relieved that Shiro didn’t seem to be pretending to be happy. He was really enjoying the whole teaching thing. He zipped his jeans up again and helped Shiro set the table for breakfast before sitting down next to him and inhaling the whole thing. He’d decided Shiro’s cooking was on the short list of things he would absolutely kill for.

“Slow down.” Shiro laughed, planting a kiss on Keith’s forehead. “I’m glad you like my food.”

“I love how you cook. Reminds me of when I was a kid before I was on my own and lived on Doritos. Plus, we haven’t had anything but goo for a few years now.” Keith said between mouthfuls.

“Is it weird that I miss the goo a little?”

“The goo was pretty good.” Keith took a swig of water and leaned over to plant a wet kiss on Shiro’s cheek. “But I like your cooking better.”

They finished breakfast and spent an hour doing some obligatory housework, washing the dishes together and cleaning the kitchen up. While Shiro was a great cook, he couldn’t make a meal without annihilating the kitchen. Clean up was a two man job. 

After that was separate showers and the moment Shiro came home, they shared a bad movie on the couch, and crawled into bed together. Keith had taken to always tucking himself under Shiro’s arm, so he could rest his head right on his heart. Even if they moved in the night, the beating lulled him to sleep. 

Keith was used to waking up in a different position than they’d fallen asleep in, but he wasn’t used to waking up in empty bed. When he stirred awake at two a.m. to nothing beside him, his blood ran cold. 

“Shiro?” He called out, biting his lip when he saw the bathroom door was open. Shiro wasn’t in there. “Shit.” Keith pushed himself out of bed and walked out into the living room, his eyes burning with the urge to go back to sleep. 

Shiro was in the living room, sitting on the ledge by the window, eyes fixed up at the night sky. Did he have a bad dream and not wake Keith up?

“Baby?”

Shiro jumped a bit. “Oh! Shit, hi Keith. Sorry, did I wake you when I got out of bed?”

“No, I just woke up.” Keith frowned, walking over to him to try and read his expression. “Why do you look so sad? It’s not like you to not wake me up if you have a bad dream.”

“It’s not that.” Shiro sighed. “Sorry. I don’t want to make you feel guilty.”

“Just tell me.” Keith said, putting his hand on Shiro’s shoulder and squeezing. “I don’t want you to be hurting all by yourself, Takashi. I’m right here.”

“I just… It’s hard to imagine not going back up there.” Shiro said, his eyes gazing back up at the stars through their window. “I don’t want you to feel bad. I’m excited to teach, but we saw so many amazing things together out there. I guess it just makes me a little nostalgic.”

Keith’s heart sank. He was still torn up about making Shiro stay grounded, but the thought of budging on it terrified him. Shiro was safe on Earth. Nothing was worth risking that. “I’m sorry, Takashi. You know that I’m not trying to punish you right? I just… I can’t let you get hurt again. We’ve had too many close calls.”

“I know.” Shiro nodded. “I’d rather be here with you on Earth than out there without you. I don’t want you to think I’m conflicted about that.”

“Takashi…”

“I’ll come back to bed. Sorry if I scared you.” Shiro said, turning and leaning in to kiss the corner of Keith’s mouth. “You okay?”

“Yeah, are you?” Keith asked, his stomach queasy as he searched Shiro’s eyes for an answer. Was Shiro suffering and just keeping it to himself to spare his feelings? He couldn’t live with that if it was true.

“I’m fine. Really.” Shiro put a hand on the small of Keith’s back to lead him back to bed. “Can I ask something embarrassing?”

“Sure.” Keith laughed. “What could you have to ask at two in the morning?”

“Uh…” Shiro bit his lip as they walked back into the bedroom. “Can I be the little spoon?”

“Takashi.” Keith’s heart just about melted as he dragged him over to the bed and pulled the covers back, letting Shiro lie down first before sliding in behind him and hooking an arm over his waist. He nuzzled his nose against his neck for good measure and planted a few goodnight kisses on his shoulder. “Whenever you want.”

That was how Keith learned how much Shiro just liked to be held. Sure, he always did it when he was anxious, or had a bad dream, but he hadn’t thought that Shiro just liked it in general. 

“Thanks, Keith.” Shiro breathed, his voice already low and sleepy. “You do a lot for me.”

“Not nearly as much as you’ve done for me.” Keith murmured as he rubbed Shiro’s stomach in slow, soothing circles, easing the butterflies away. 

“Keith, giving up piloting is nothing compared to all the times you’ve saved me.”

“You saved me too, Takashi.” Keith whispered, planting a few kisses on the side of Shiro’s neck. “Who knows what would’ve happened to me if you weren’t there way back? I was alone and I thought I was a freak, but then I met you. You were exactly what I wanted to be  _ and _ you were gay. No one treated you like a freak. You gave me hope and then you came back and you took me to outer space.” He leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You’ve done more than enough for me. Let me take care of you now.”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled, letting Keith tug the blankets up above their shoulders. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Keith grinned, shutting his eyes to hide the glow. “Get some sleep.”

**

The first day of class came faster than Keith had thought and he feared disaster would strike. He got up an hour early, laid out Shiro’s clothes, put his briefcase with lesson plans right next to them to keep him from forgetting, then did his best to make breakfast. 

He still wasn’t too great in the kitchen, but he made some decent waffles on the third try and some eggs to go with them before packing Shiro’s lunch for the day. It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford to go out to eat on his break, but Keith knew he’d rather have something from home. 

“Keith?” Shiro yawned, wandering into the kitchen in just his sweatpants. “Baby, you don’t have to do all of this.”

“Of course I do.” Keith rolled his eyes. He didn’t have a job and the thought of finding one made his stomach turn, so he was going to have to earn his keep somehow until he figured out what to do. If that meant being a bit of a housewife than so be it. Shiro deserved to have that. “It’s your first day. Eat up and take a shower. I packed your lunch.”

“Baby.” A soft smile pulled on to Shiro’s lips as he walked up to hug him, his human arm curling around his waist while the hover one squeezed his shoulder. “This is really sweet of you. Thanks.”

“It’s literally the least I can do, Shiro.” Keith shrugged, thankful that his cycle days had passed. A hug like that last week would have had him dragging Shiro back to bed and they didn’t have time for morning sex on weekdays anymore. “I’m gonna get the laundry for the week started, is there anything you need thrown in?”

“Uh, yeah I could use some pajamas.”

“Okay.” Keith pressed a kissed to his cheek and nuzzled his nose against the spot before pulling away. If Shiro was going to put a roof over his head and pay for everything, he had to at least take care of him. 

He filled a basket with all the clothes from their hamper and the ones on the floor of the bedroom and bathroom, tossing it all in the wash just in time for Shiro’s hand to hover over and grab his ass. 

“Shiro.” He laughed, looking over to where Shiro poked out of the bedroom doorway. “Do you want something?”

“Want to hop in the shower with me?”

“Sure, but we can’t take too long.” Keith shrugged as he followed him, trying to downplay the fact that his heart still fluttered every time Shiro made that invitation. He liked having sex in the shower more than he liked having it in their bed and even if they didn’t have sex, he still loved the intimacy of showering with one another. 

Shiro pulled him into the bathroom, all doors locked behind them, and got the water going, yawning as he reached his hand in to test the temperature. “You don’t have to do this stuff every morning you know.”

“Of course I do. I can go back to sleep as soon as you’re out the door. This way, you get to sleep at least an extra half hour.” Keith waited for Shiro to step in then followed him, shutting the shower door before sinking to his knees and tucking his hair back behind his ears. He’d been getting way better at this and each time he did it was a chance to show Shiro how he’d improved. 

“Keith.” Shiro groaned, his hand sliding into Keith’s hair and tugging as he took him in his mouth. 

They didn’t have too much time, so Keith did the job quick. He relaxed his throat like he’d been practicing and managed to take almost all of him as he bobbed his head back and forth, tasting the salt that dripped onto his tongue. He slid his hands up Shiro’s thighs, one hand pressing between his legs to caress his balls and massage his perineum. Those were the two things key to making Takashi Shirogane cum in under five minutes. 

Keith sucked until Shiro’s hips stuttered and swallowed everything he released, standing up to grab the shampoo as soon as he was done. “Turn around, so I can do your hair.”

“You’re like a dream come true, you know that Keith?” Shiro breathed, turning around and groaning again and Keith’s hands in his hair. “I love you, Baby. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Keith grinned, working the soap into the soft white hair. “Now rinse, you’re gonna be late.”

**

Keith was priding himself on what a good job he’d done in the morning when he noticed that disaster had actually struck. Shiro had been gone for hours and Keith had gone back to sleep. When he got up for lunch, he saw it. 

He let Shiro forget his lunch. On the  _ first day _ . 

Keith swore and scrambled to throw on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt, toeing his boots on and grabbing his phone before he went to take his lunch. It was Shiro’s free period, he should be able to find him. 

Even with the medication, the thought of wandering the Garrison alone to find Shiro made his stomach hurt a bit. He hated all the judging eyes that followed him whenever he was there, but he couldn’t just let Shiro down because he was anxious. No way. He knew where Shiro’s new classroom was. 

Keith took the lunch box and made his way into the heart of the Garrison, stomach turning as he walked through crowds of new cadets, passing by older officers who gave him the evil eye. 

It at least didn’t take long to make it to the classroom Shiro said he’d be teaching in, but he stopped when he heard voices. He didn’t want to interrupt a meeting or anything.

“You’re really in a relationship with that guy? The one that went around beating the crap out of people?”

Keith froze, stepping away from the window in the door to avoid being seen. He knew people talked shit about him, but doing it to Shiro’s face?

“There’s a lot more to him than that. You don’t know the full story and he’s a great partner. He’s nurturing. People just don’t see that side of him.”

“How nurturing can the dude be? Didn’t he break someone’s arm?”

Fuck this. Fuck his stupid anxieties about PDA, he was about to make a fucking point. Keith plastered a grin on his face and opened the door to the classroom, walking right up to Shiro’s desk and planting the lunch box on it. 

“Hi Baby, you forgot your lunch at home.” He smiled as he leaned down to plant a kiss on Shiro’s lips. It made his stomach do a somersault and his heart nearly beat out of his chest from the nerves, but he played it cool. Fucking with people was one of his many passions and he’d be damned if a little anxiety disorder got in the way of it, so he swiped his tongue over Shiro’s lower lip before pulling away.

“Do you need anything else?” Keith asked, his hand still resting on Shiro’s flushed cheek while he watched James Griffin squirm out of the corner of his eye. Fuck that guy. Of course it would be him talking shit. He was wearing a flight suit, so he’d probably come to help Shiro teach the pilot training course.

“I-I’m good.” Shiro blushed. “Thanks for bringing it.”

“Of course, Takashi.” He said, letting the affectionate name roll off his tongue as he leaned on his desk. “Are you coming straight home after work?”

Shiro gave a weak nod and Keith found the courage to lean over and press a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you at home.” Keith said before pulling away and slinking out of the room, grateful that the new jeans he was wearing were a little tighter than his old ones. 

His heart raced as he made the walk back to the Garrison apartments, sweating the whole way. Holy shit, he’d kissed Shiro right in front of someone else. At least it was a fun fact to know his anger issues might trump his anxiety issues now and then. Plus, he felt pretty happy that Shiro had been defending him like he always did. 

Still, he locked himself in the apartment the moment he got home and collapsed on the couch, emotionally exhausted. 

With all the chores done and Shiro taken care of, he didn’t really know what to do with the rest of the day, but he supposed it didn’t matter. Shiro would be home soon and he’d be occupied again.

**

Keith was planning on giving Shiro a warm welcome when he came home, but the second the front door opened, Shiro was on him, smothering him in kisses while his hands wandered up his shirt. 

“Shiro!” Keith laughed, squirming around under him on the couch. “Stop, it tickles!”

“Come here.” He grinned as he smothered Keith in kisses. “I can’t believe you today.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I did was bring you lunch.”

“You’re such a slut.” Shiro teased, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s. “Kissing me like that in my classroom. Wearing those tight jeans. I was a wreck for the rest of the day.”

“Poor thing.” Keith rolled his eyes. “You looking for another blowob?”

“Uh-uh.” Shiro shook his head and leaned down to press their foreheads together, his breath hot and heavy against Keith’s lips when their eyes met. “Fuck me, Keith.”

His eyes lit up. “ _ What _ ?”

“Fuck me.” He sighed, turning his head and dragging his lips down Keith’s neck. “Top me. Take me. I want you.”

“Holy shit, Takashi.” Keith said with wide eyes. He was already hard and Shiro’s thigh was pressed right up against him. “You really want me to?”

Shiro nodded fast and cocked his head towards their bedroom. “Will you?”

“Yeah.” Keith grinned, leaning up to give him another deep kiss. “Let’s go.”

They bolted for the bedroom together, stopping only to lock the door, before Keith pushed Shiro back on the bed and started to strip him of his uniform. If Iverson could fucking see him, stripping down his precious top lieutenant. Keith had to laugh at the thought, dragging down Shiro’s zipper and waiting for him to lift his hips before pulling the army green pants off. 

“Jesus.” Keith said, eyeing the bulge in Shiro’s briefs. There was already a wet spot. “I didn’t know you liked the bottom this much.”

“Depends on my mood. That fucking power move you pulled practically put me in heat.” Shiro sighed as Keith’s hands stroked up the insides of his thighs. “You have no idea how in love with you I am.”

“Takashi.” Keith smiled, his heart warm as he stripped Shiro of his underwear and stood up off the bed to get undressed himself. “Do you want me to use a condom?”

“Yeah.”

“Boy scout.” Keith teased as he pulled a condom and the lube from their nightstand drawer. “Kidding. Your responsibility is cute.” He gave himself a few tugs to fully harden then rolled the condom onto himself, catching the way Shiro squirmed as he watched out of the corner of his eye. 

“Keith.” Shiro said in a soft voice, stroking himself as Keith came back to bed. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so adorable like this.” Keith grinned. He was completely smitten with the way Shiro was acting, like he was so aroused, but so in love at the same time. “Tell me if anything hurts.”

Keith positioned himself between Shiro’s open legs and slicked up his fingers, taking his time to prepare him. Shiro had a sensitive prostate and he mewed when Keith found the spot, massaging it with his index finger until he was able to add another and another. He scissored his fingers inside, stretching out the taut muscle. It had been years since anyone had done this for Shiro and Keith had never topped before. It was almost a first for both of them, Shiro practically a virgin again. 

“Keith, I’m ready.” Shiro whimpered, rolling his hips against his hand. Keith had never heard his voice get so high and soft before. “You can start. Please.”

“Someone’s eager.” Keith smiled as he pulled his fingers out and slicked himself up. “Come here.” He crawled up to lay over Shiro and bent down to catch him in a kiss, curling his tongue around the other man’s and grinding their cocks together between them to get a little friction going. “You ready?”

“Yes.” Shiro breathed, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s. “So ready, Baby.”

Keith reached down to angle himself correctly and started to press in, putting his weight on his elbows, one planted on either side of Shiro’s chest. “How’s that?”

“Good.” Shiro purred, running his hand down Keith’s back. “Give me all of it.”

Keith pushed in until he bottomed out, watching as Shiro rolled his hips to adjust. He was unbelievably tight, his muscles squeezing him as he tried to stay still, letting Shiro get used to the stretch before he could start moving. 

“You’re good, Baby.”

“Yeah?” He smiled, starting to rock his hips a little bit. “You’re really tight.”

“I better be after those stupid years of celibacy.” Shiro laughed as he rocked against him, his face pink as Keith brought one hand up to rub his nipple, massaging it between two fingers. “Nnn, Keith.” He whined, breath heavy. “More.”

Keith snapped in a bit harder, his heart thumping when Shiro moaned. “Like that?”

“Harder.” Shiro gasped, his head tipping back. “Harder, Keith.”

“Shit, Takashi.” He breathed as he quickened the pace, reaching one hand up to brace himself on the headboard of the bed. 

Shiro groaned and put his hands on Keith’s shoulders. “Keep going just like that.”

Keith could feel the warmth in his eyes from the glow and continued at a punishing pace, wanting to make Shiro see the same stars that he always did when he bottomed. 

Shiro groaned underneath him and Keith felt a hunger deep in his gut, a want that wouldn’t be satiated until Shiro was a complete wreck, babbling his name. 

“Come here Baby.” He cooed, taking Shiro’s wrists and pinning them on the pillows above his head as he snapped his hips back and forth. He tucked his head into the crook of Shiro’s neck, moaning against the soft skin and parting his lips to mark him. He wanted the whole teaching faculty to see the hickey he’d left. He wanted them to know Shiro was his. 

Keith noticed Shiro had fallen a little quiet and kept going. Keith knew what it was like to be so overwhelmed during sex that you just couldn’t make noise anymore and he could feel Shiro shaking with pleasure underneath him. At least, that’s what he thought it was as he dug his nails into the skin of Shiro’s wrists, keeping him pinned down. It wasn’t until he heard Shiro’s breath hitch that he looked up to check on him. “Babe?”

“Please let go.” Shiro whimpered, his eyes wide and watery as he stared up at the ceiling, his whole body trembling. 

“Huh?” Keith’s expression fell and he quickly let go of Shiro’s wrists, planting his hands back on the mattress. “Takashi, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“G-Get off me.” Shiro stuttered, his hands pushing Keith’s shoulders away. “Stop. Please, stop.”

“Takashi.” He breathed, stomach tight with worry as he hurried to pull out of him and grab the comforter, pulling it up to cover them and maybe make Shiro feel a little less vulnerable. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?” His heart was starting to race with a panic of his own. “Takashi, I’m so sorry.”

Shiro sat up and hugged himself, his chest heaving with his quick breathing. He looked terrified, his face that had just been pink and full of pleasure, suddenly pale and terrified. 

“Takashi?” Keith choked, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “Talk to me, you’re scaring me.”

Shiro’s mouth wobbled and he shook his head, covering his face with his hands when he started to cry. “I’m sorry, Keith. I’m sorry.”

“Can I hold you?”

Shiro nodded and leaned into him, letting Keith hug him tight and stroke his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Keith asked, still panicking a bit himself with worry. “You don’t have to be sorry. What triggered you?”

“Y-You pinned me down.” Shiro sniffled, resting his head against Keith’s shoulder. “I-I just remembered the prison shackles a-and the week I spent hanging from the wall by my wrists and it sent me right back there.”

“Oh shit.” Keith’s eyes went wide. “I’m an idiot. Of course that would trigger you, holy shit. Takashi, I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.” He croaked. “You couldn’t have known. I didn’t even know until you did it and I started to panic.”

“You poor thing.” Keith sighed. Shiro’s cheek was wet against his shoulder. Fuck, he felt like the most awful human being in the world.

“Please don’t use this as a reason to bring up medication again.”

“I’m not gonna do that.” Keith murmured. “I just want to comfort you. You want to get dressed? Forget about sex.”

Shiro gave a weak nod and Keith kissed his forehead, pulling away to peel off the condom and ducking into the bathroom to toss it out. He went to wet a washcloth with warm water and brought it out to Shiro, planting a careful kiss on his lips before he cleaned him up. 

“You okay?” Keith asked once he was dressed himself, bringing over a set of pajamas for Shiro to put on. 

“Yeah, just rattled.” Shiro grimaced. “I’m embarrassed.”

“What’s there to be embarrassed about?”

Shiro rolled his eyes. 

“It’s me, Shiro. You never have to be embarrassed.” Keith handed him the pajamas and bent down to give him a kiss, lingering just long enough to feel Shiro smile a teeny bit against him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Shiro said, his voice a little hoarse, but Keith was relieved to see he’d come down from the panic. “Thanks for not judging.”

“How could I ever judge you?” Keith was the one to roll his eyes that time. “Get dressed. I’m making you comfort food.

 


	8. Cabin Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith was having the nap of his life when his phone woke him up. He dreamt about the mermaid world they’d visited. Shiro was with him and they were just swimming all around, surrounded by beautiful sea life. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy until his ringtone snapped him out of it. 
> 
> He groaned and stretched over to grab it from the nightstand, tugging the covers up over his shoulders to answer. “What is it?” He mumbled. 
> 
> “This is Commander Iverson. Please report to the teaching faculty lounge to escort Lieutenant Shirogane home.”

Keith knew he’d been naive to think Shiro would be fine once the panic attack passed. Sure, he calmed down afterward and Keith got him to fall asleep on time, but he was up three different times during the night, all with nightmares about the prison. Keith cooed to him each time, made him tea, had him watch TV for a little while until he could go back to sleep, but he looked like death in the morning. They both did, with Keith up an hour before him to make breakfast, his lunch, and lay his clothes out for the day.

“Are you sure you can teach today?” Keith frowned when Shiro headed for the front door. “You barely slept.”

“I’ll be fine. I can’t miss the second day.” Shiro sighed. “Thanks for doing everything again this morning. I’ll come straight home after my last class.”

“Are they doing the simulator yet?”

“We’re starting it today. Should be fun.” Shiro managed a small smile before leaning in to give Keith his kiss goodbye. “Love you. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.” Keith nodded, knowing there was no convincing him to stay home at this point. “Have a good day, Shiro.”

He was worried, but also exhausted. The moment the front door shut, he headed back to bed.

**

Keith was having the nap of his life when his phone woke him up. He dreamt about the mermaid world they’d visited. Shiro was with him and they were just swimming all around, surrounded by beautiful sea life. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy until his ringtone snapped him out of it. 

He groaned and stretched over to grab it from the nightstand, tugging the covers up over his shoulders to answer. “What is it?” He mumbled. 

“This is Commander Iverson. Please report to the teaching faculty lounge to escort Lieutenant Shirogane home.”

“What?” Keith’s blood ran cold. “What’s wrong with him? Is he okay? Is he hurt?”

“There was an incident. Come and get him and we’ll brief you.”

“I’ll be right over.” Usually Keith would be anxious just from having Iverson call him, but what happened to Shiro? How could there be an incident in a simulator? 

He bolted out of bed and threw on the first clothes he could find before running out. Thank god they lived on Garrison property, so he was able to get there in no time, panting when he arrived at the faculty lounge and knocked. 

Iverson answered the door. “Come in.”

“Shiro?” Keith frowned as he stepped into the room. He was sitting on the couch next to the coffee maker, a cup of tea in his hands and a blanket over his shoulders. The bags under his eyes had darkened. When Keith stepped closer, he realized he was shaking. “Shiro… What happened?” He asked, rushing up and sitting down next to him, putting his arm around his trembling shoulders. 

“Flashback.” Shiro croaked, his hands quivering enough to make the tea spill over the sides. “Simulator.”

“He had a panic attack leading a group of students through the flight simulator.” Iverson explained. “Apparently he hasn’t been taking the medication our psychiatrist prescribed. It was a condition of his psych evaluation.”

“Oh, Takashi.” Keith sighed, all nerves about showing affection in front of one of the people he hated the most pushed to the back of his mind. Shiro looked so hurt, he just didn’t know how to comfort him. “Baby, how’d the simulator trigger it?”

“Rescue mission.” Shiro mumbled as Keith took the tea cup from his hands and set it on the table next to the coffee maker. “They programmed the simulators with the Galra intel we brought back home. I didn’t know what the scenario for the simulator would be.”

“What exactly was it?”

“Prison ship.”

“Are you  _ kidding _ me?” Keith glared, turning to Iverson. “You have a teacher with PTSD after he survived a Galra prison and you have him teach a simulator  _ about A Galra prison _ ?! What the fuck?!”

“Watch the language, Kogane.” Iverson glared. “It’s not my department. I’m here because someone had to vouch for Shirogane when a room full of teenagers watched him have a melt down.”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro choked, his hand reaching over to grip Keith’s, squeezing desperately as he looked up to Iverson. His mouth was trembling as he spoke. “Please don’t take this from me. I’ll take the meds. It won’t happen again.”

“Take tomorrow off.” Iverson sighed. “If this keeps happening, there’s no way you can teach.”

“It won’t happen again.” Shiro promised, his knuckles white as he held on to Keith’s hand. “I-I was just caught by surprise. Can someone please just get me a list of the simulations we’ll be running? I can prepare better if I know ahead of time.”

“Will do. Head home, Lieutenant.”

“Come on, Takashi.” Keith said in a hushed voice, standing up and taking the blanket from his shoulders. “You need sleep.”

Shiro gave a weak nod and let Keith pull him up, keeping his prosthetic hovered on the small of Keith’s back.

Keith lead him past Iverson and kept an arm around his waist as he took him back to the apartment, glaring at anyone who gave them funny looks. He couldn’t imagine how humiliated Shiro felt, having a panic attack right in front of his class. He was a legend around the Garrison and a group of cadets had just seen him melt down.

“Everything’s okay.” Keith said as they walked towards the apartment building lobby. The building connected right to the Garrison, so it was a straight shot. He wanted to get Shiro out of sight as soon as possible. “I’ll make you some more tea and we’ll make the couch super comfy for you, put something dumb on TV to get your mind off everything.”

“Okay.” Shiro mumbled, letting Keith take him to the elevator. 

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Not really.” He said as the elevator doors slid shut, his eyes cast down on the floor as they rose to their floor. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Keith lead him out of the elevator and down to their apartment, locking the door behind them and taking Shiro to the bedroom to change. “I can’t believe they would send you into a simulator like that.” He huffed as Shiro took off his uniform. “I mean what were they thinking? Not even telling you what scenarios you were gonna be training today?”

“It’s fine. It’s on me.”

“It’s not on you.” Keith glared, tossing him a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. “You had to suffer because the Garrison sent you to Kerberos, not knowing what was out there. It’s on them.” 

“I should be able to handle a simulation without breaking down in front of a bunch of teenagers who looked up to me.”

“You’ll get there.” Keith said, watching as Shiro changed into comfier clothes and taking his uniform to throw in the wash. The jacket was soaked with sweat. 

“What if I don’t?” Shiro grimaced as he sat down on the side of the bed. “They could take this away and then what? What the hell would I be?”

Keith’s chest tightened, remembering that it was his fault Shiro couldn’t continue his dream career, but how the hell would Shiro be a pilot if he was having panic attacks in simulators? Ever since they got back, he’d been triggered so much more easily. “The Garrison will always work with you. It’ll be okay.” He bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll make your tea. Go get cozy on the couch and find something to watch.”

“You don’t have to dote on me.” Shiro frowned, eyes still glued to the floor like he couldn’t meet Keith’s gaze. “I’m not a little kid.”

“I know you’re not, but we take care of each other.” Keith knew he wasn’t upset at him, just at the situation, but the tone still hurt a little. He set Shiro’s uniform back down and sat with him. “I want to make you feel better, Takashi. Whatever you want from me, all you have to do is ask.” He chewed on his lip as he searched Shiro’s expression for an answer. Maybe he didn’t want to be coddled, but what was Keith supposed to do for him when he was hurting? “Baby, really. Whatever you want me to do. Do you want me to blow you or something just to take the tension away?”

“What the fuck Keith, I don’t want sex” Shiro glared.  After last night? Really?”

Keith winced at his tone and shrunk back. “I was just asking. It helps you sometimes, that’s all. I-I’m just trying to help.”

“That’s all you ever do.” Shiro sighed, leaning his head on his hand. 

“What does that mean?” Keith swallowed. Of course he helped Shiro a lot. They were in a relationship. Wasn’t that what people in a relationship did? “Am… Am I smothering you?” He asked with a shaky voice. Anxious butterflies were starting to build in his stomach. 

Shiro stayed quiet. 

Keith’s heart clenched. At least the cycle had passed. He would have been in tears if it hadn’t, but he was back to normal. He could keep it together, but it didn’t mean he was any less hurt. “I’ll give you some space.” He gulped as he stood up and picked Shiro’s uniform up again. “I’m putting this in the wash. Don’t forget to dry it.” 

He left the bedroom with that and tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he opened the closet in the hallway with their washer and dryer, shoving Shiro’s uniform in and setting it to wash before he set his eyes on the door. It would probably be best if he gave Shiro the apartment to himself, but he was worried to leave him. Still, he’d been pouring his heart into taking care of Shiro and he was just being pushed away. If Shiro didn’t want him there, why stay?

Keith took his phone and walked out the door into the hallway of the apartment complex, pressing on Pidge’s contact and waiting for an answer. 

“Keith? Hey Buddy, what’s up?” 

“Hey Pidge.” He said, his voice low and quiet. “Are you home?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Could I maybe come over a while?”

“Sure, is everything okay?”

“I think Shiro’s mad at me.” Keith said despite the voice in the back of his head.  _ He’s not just mad, he hates you. You smothered him now he wants you gone _ . “Can I come hide out?”

“Aw, Keith.” She sighed. “Come on over. Kosmo misses you.”

“Yeah?” He perked up a bit at the thought of seeing his wolf again. There was no room for it at the apartment, so Kosmo had taken up residence at the Holts with plenty of room to roam. He’d been distracted lately, but he did miss him a lot. Maybe Shiro would ask him back if he just left for a few hours. “I’ll be over in a minute.”

**

“Sorry I’m always having emotional episodes at your house.” Keith said, hanging upside down off Pidge’s bed while she tinkered with some new invention on her desk. Kosmo was laying on the bed with him, letting out little whimpers of concern. It almost made up for Shiro not caring that his feelings were hurt. Almost. 

“Don’t worry about it. Lance comes crying over here every time he says something dumb and Allura calls it out.” She shrugged. “I can’t believe the Garrison did Shiro like that. What were they thinking?”

“Right!” He sat upright and turned around to face her. “That’s what I said! Shiro’s all convinced that it’s his fault, like he’s weak or something. I mean we went through  _ war _ . We all have issues now and his are probably the most justified of any of us. I don’t know why he’s so down on himself.” He huffed and ran a hand through his hair. “Everything was going perfect. It’s my fault for being dumb last night.”

“What’d you do last night?” She frowned, swiveling around in her chair in preparation for judgement. 

“This might be a little TMI, but…” He leaned his head on his fist and sighed. “We were having sex and I pinned his arms down. It freaked him out really bad and he had a panic attack. Then he was up all night with nightmares and had to go teach on hardly any sleep.”

“Did you know that was an issue for him?”

“Neither of us did. We just found out when it happened.” Keith’s shoulders slumped. He still felt like an idiot. It should have been common sense not to pin him down like that, of course it would be triggering. “I just want to take care of him. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if he starts taking an issue with that. He can’t just deal with all of this on his own.”

“He’s always been like that. He doesn’t want to burden other people.”

“But it’s me.” Keith grimaced. “We’re always there for each other and now he’s just… pushing me away. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing to leave him or if I should have insisted on staying.”

“You did what you could. If he’s gonna be difficult, or take his frustration out on you then just walk away until he sorts himself out.”

“I guess, but I hate leaving him. He needs support.”

Pidge shrugged her shoulders and swiveled back around to keep working. She was trying to develop a tracker for Kosmo, so they could find him when he poofed off to God knows where, or so they could maybe see what his location would be during the brief second between teleportations.

Keith just sighed and ran his hand through Kosmo’s fur, listening to him whimper at the touch. “I know, Buddy. I miss you too, but there’s just no room for cosmic wolves in the Garrison apartments.” He laid back down, starting to think he should maybe try and spend the nights at the Holts when his phone started to buzz next to him. 

“That Shiro?”

“Uh…” He grabbed it and felt his heart twinge. “Shit. Yeah.” He swiped the screen and put the phone to his ear, figuring it shouldn’t be a problem if Pidge overheard. “Shiro?”

“Keith.” Shiro croaked on the other end. “Did you leave the apartment?”

“Yeah, I’m at the Holts.”

“I’m so sorry I was shitty to you. I didn’t mean it. Please come back. I-I thought you just went to the living room, but when I came out and you were actually gone-”

“Takashi.” Keith interrupted, standing up from the bed. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be. You didn’t deserve that. All you’ve been doing is helping me and you’re there for me whenever I need it, which is a fucking lot lately. C-Can you come back? I feel awful.”

“It’s really okay.” He smiled, his heart warm at the apology. “I’ll come right home. Are you okay?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah.” Keith assured him, giving Kosmo a little pet goodbye before looking to Pidge. She shrugged in understanding and he waved goodbye on his way out, hurrying down the stairs. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, can you wait for me?”

“Yeah.” Shiro answered and Keith could hear his voice wobbling. 

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

“Thank you, Keith. I-I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about a thing.” Keith said as he walked off the property. “Just sit tight for me.”

**

“Keith.” Shiro breathed as soon as he walked in the door, running up to pull him into a hug. His arm trembled against Keith’s back and when their chests pressed together, he could feel his heart was racing. 

“It’s okay, Takashi.” Keith cooed, stroking his hand down Shiro’s back as he pressed a kiss into his white hair. “Hey, I’m right here. Not going anywhere.”

“I didn’t mean to make you leave.”

“You were just upset. I thought you might need some space.” Keith pulled back and lifted Shiro’s chin, so he could give him a proper kiss. “How are you feeling now?”

“I’m gonna take the medication.” Shiro swallowed. “I haven’t yet, but I’ll start tonight. I’m sorry I fought with you so much about it before”

“You’re fine, Takashi. Let’s just get you taken care of, okay?”

Shiro gave a resigned nod and Keith lead him to the couch, cocking his head towards it.

“Sit down and get comfy.” Keith said, grabbing the throw blanket from the arm of the couch and tossing it to him. “Did you eat?”

Shiro shook his head. 

“I’ll make dinner. It won’t be as good as your cooking, but it’ll get something in you.” He walked around the back of the couch to press one more kiss to the top of Shiro’s head. “How about the grilled chicken you taught me how to make?”

“That’d be good.” Shiro smiled a bit. “Thanks, Keith.”

“I said you could stop thanking me.” Keith smiled back. Shiro’s face looked so soft when he was like this. He wished he didn’t have to be in pain to look so sweet. “I’ll be right with you.”

**

Cooking was… far from Keith’s forte. Shiro had made it look easy when he was showing him, able to accomplish what he wanted to make easily without a recipe, but how hot was he supposed to make the oven again? And how long did it take? 

He took his best guess.

While the chicken cooked, he tossed some of their fruit into a juicer and blended it together, pouring it into a glass for Shiro before he chopped up some carrots and tomatoes. Shiro had lectured him about meals not really being dinner if there wasn’t at least one vegetable and he wasn’t about to make that mistake again. 

The chicken came out a little burnt, but not enough that it wasn’t edible, or really that bad. He put it on a plate with the veggies and brought it out to Shiro with the juice he’d made, setting it on the coffee table in front of him. 

“This looks really nice.” Shiro grinned. “You’re getting pretty good in there.”

“I know the chicken’s burned, but it’s improvement I guess.” Keith said, sitting down next to him and tugging the blanket over to cover himself too. 

“Come here.” Shiro said, nudging Keith’s arm until he lifted it and let Shiro settle in against him. 

“There you go.” Keith smiled as he pulled him in close. It felt so reaffirming to have Shiro need him. He didn’t feel like such a pathetic lost cause.

They ate like that, snuggled up together, Shiro complimenting his food over and over even if it wasn’t that good. They left the dishes on the coffee table and Keith pulled the cord on the lamp to turn the light out in the living room as they settled in for the movie. 

Shiro’s hand rested on Keith’s thigh, his head on his shoulder as they watched TV. He’d shift a little now and then, inching closer, or resettling to stay comfortable. His hover arm was off and rested on the table, so he could just be cozy. As functional as the arm was, Shiro preferred to sleep and snuggle without it. 

Halfway through the movie, Shiro slid his hand over, dipping down between Keith’s thighs and rubbing his hand over him through his jeans. 

“Takashi, don’t worry about that tonight.” Keith whispered as he pressed a kiss into Shiro’s hair. “I can do you if you want it, but I don’t want you worrying about me right now.”

“Don’t think of sex like a favor.” Shiro said, glancing up at him. “It’s something I like to do. Giving or receiving, whatever.” He planted a kiss on Keith’s cheek. “Just watch the movie. Let me take care of you.”

“You don’t have-”

“I want to.” Shiro insisted, pressing his hand down a bit more. “Keith, you care about me more than anyone else ever has. I mean, my relationship with Adam was okay, but even at the strongest point in our relationship, he would never do all the things that you’re doing. You take care of me. Let me make you feel good for a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.” Keith couldn’t help matching Shiro’s smile. He just looked so sweet and eager. Keith loved how their roles could switch so easily. Some nights, Shiro could pound him into a mattress and other nights, he’d be submissive, serving, and sweet. He let Shiro open his pants and pull back the blanket that covered him, lowering himself to envelope Keith in his mouth until he started to groan.

Shiro was slow and loving in his motions, stroking him with his tongue, swallowing around him and humming. 

Keith couldn’t pay attention to the movie if he wanted to. He watched Shiro suck him off and knotted his hands in his hair, whimpering in an embarrassingly high voice. Why was it he could be so tough when topping Shiro, but he got his dick sucked and turned into a teenage girl? He couldn’t shut his mouth. 

“Takashi.” Keith panted, pushing his hips up against his mouth. “I love you, oh my God. Fuck.  _ Fuck _ .”

Shiro bobbed his head, his tongue lapping up Keith’s pre-cum as he squirmed on the couch. 

“Hhh, Takashi.” Keith whined. “I’m gonna cum.” He tugged on Shiro’s hair. “Takashi, Baby I-I’m really gonna cum.”

Shiro pulled off with a pop and grinned at him, stroking him teasingly slow with his hand, just slow enough to keep him from finishing. 

“Ugh, Shiroooo.” Keith pouted, his face red and eyes glowing as he twitched in his grip. 

“Aw, no more first name?” Shiro smiled. 

“I’m not calling you that if you’re gonna be mean to my dick.” Keith breathed as Shiro thumbed his tip. “Baby, please?”

“It’s cute when you beg.”

“Takashi.” Keith whimpered, rolling his hips as he slipped back into the more affectionate name for him. “Please Baby, please.”

“Hm.” Shiro tilted his head and continued to stroke with his hand. 

“Baby.” Keith ran his hand through Shiro’s hair and looked at him with bright eyes, the soft yellow glow illuminating them in the dark.

“I guess you’ve earned it a little.” Shiro said, squeezing him and grinning when it made Keith’s breath hitch before he bent down and took Keith back in his mouth. 

“Nnn,  _ fuck _ .” Keith groaned. His head tipped back as he felt Shiro’s warm wet mouth envelope him again. 

Without taking his mouth off, Shiro shifted from the couch to the floor, kneeling between Keith’s open legs and swallowing around him. 

“Gonna cum.” Keith rasped, his grip tightening on Shiro’s hair. “Takashi, I’m gonna cum.”

Shiro swirled his tongue around Keith’s tip and looked up to meet his eyes, the contact alone making Keith groan and push his hips up. 

“ _ Fuuuuck _ .” Keith moaned, his mouth hanging open as Shiro sucked him over the edge. He gripped his hair and used all of his will power to keep from bucking into his mouth - although it seemed like Shiro had no gag reflex whatsoever. 

Shiro lapped up everything he released, looking up at Keith the whole time as he finished him off. 

“You’re so fucking much.” Keith sighed as Shiro wiped his mouth. “And you’re really good at that.”

“Thanks, I do pride myself on it.” Shiro smiled as he pushed back up and sat on the couch again, leaning over to let Keith taste himself on his lips. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Keith whispered against his lips, smiling back before kissing him again. “We’ll spend your day off together.”

“Thank you so much, Keith.” Shiro said as he nuzzled their noses together. “Today sucked. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you to come get me.”

“I’ll always be here for you. You were there for me.” Keith pressed his lips to Shiro’s forehead and finally reached down to put himself away before he shifted around. “Come here.” He laid down with his head in Shiro’s lap and turned his face back towards the TV, taking Shiro’s arm and draping it over him to hold his hand while he watched. “I’m really starting to love this domestic shit you know.”

“Me too.” Shiro laughed, giving Keith’s hand a squeeze. “I know today was hard, but I’m really happy, Keith. Seriously.”

“I’m happy too.” Keith blushed, running his thumb in a circle over the back of Shiro’s hand. “We’ll figure out something fun to do tomorrow.”

**

Shiro took the medication before they went to bed and was out like a light, wrapped around Keith, and sound asleep. Keith stayed awake for some time, just stroking his back and looking at Shiro’s sleeping face. He just looked so sweet and relaxed. He wished he could always make Shiro feel that safe, but the triggers he’d face at work were going to be out of his control. 

When Keith fell asleep, Shiro woke him up in the morning with his lips on his neck. 

“Mm, Shiro.” Keith sighed. “You sleep well?”

“Mhm.” Shiro mumbled against his neck, kissing up to his jaw. “Wanna get dressed?”

“I mean, I think I’d rather do the opposite?”

“Later.” Shiro laughed. “You took good care of me yesterday and I was kind of mean. Let’s go out for breakfast.”

“Uh…” Keith’s chest tightened. Breakfast meant people. Lots of people. It was early in the morning. “Baby, I could just make us breakfast. Don’t spend the money.”

“We can afford breakfast, Keith.” Shiro said, leaning up to give him a proper kiss on the lips. “Let me take you out.”

“Um, okay.” Keith blushed. “Can we go somewhere small?”

“Don’t be nervous.” Shiro nuzzled his nose against Keith’s. “No one will notice us and if anyone ever says anything, I’ll handle it. Okay?”

“Okay.” He sighed. “I’ll get dressed.”

“Thank you, Keith.” Shiro smiled and Keith’s heart had to warm at how happy he looked. “Give me a minute, I’ll dress up all nice for you.” He winked before rolling out of bed. 

Keith regretted not letting Shiro buy him at least one kind of formal outfit. All he had to wear again was jeans and a t-shirt and all of Shiro’s clothes were too big for him to borrow. He’d stick out like a sore thumb. 

“Do I look okay?” Keith blushed, tugging at the sleeves of his red jacket. “Can we go somewhere casual?”

“Sure.” Shiro said as he slid his hand into Keith’s back pocket and squeezed. “You look great.”

“I look the same.”

“You always look great.”

“I’m just glad you’re feeling good I guess.” Keith sighed, leaning against him. “Let’s get going.” 

They ordered a ride and sat together in the back seat, Shiro’s hand on Keith’s thigh. He seemed to be back to his confident self a bit and Keith was just relieved the incident in front of his class didn’t seem to have a long lasting effect.

The place they went to was a small hole in the wall café. It wasn’t like the first place they went out to eat at, but Keith fell out of place in a whole different way. Everyone was making eight word coffee orders and everything on the menu had whacky names after old rock bands he didn’t know anything about. The walls were purple and painted with vines, the ceiling wooden. Keith had asked for something that wasn’t fancy and this was certainly that, but he didn’t feel any more at home. 

“Want me to order for you?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed. “Get anything. Thank you.”

Shiro nodded in understanding and gave his hip a little nudge before they reached the front of the line and ordered something complicated coffee-wise for himself, something a little simpler for Keith with two bagels before they stepped aside. “Over here.” Shiro said, walking him to a small booth and taking a seat. “You okay?”

“Um… Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

“You look pale.” Shiro frowned. “What’s going on?”

“Just anxious I guess.”

“Really?” Shiro’s eyes looked concern as they ran over Keith - like he was seeking out a sign of injury or something that would explain the issue a little more clearly. “Even if we’re not touching?”

Keith nodded, eyes fixed on the table.  

“Shit. I’m sorry.” Shiro sighed. “I thought this place would work, do you want to go home?”

_ Fuck _ . He couldn’t keep doing this. Shiro was struggling enough with disappointment all because Keith didn’t have the emotional strength to let him fly. Was Keith going to force him to be a hermit too? Never being able to go out? Sure, he felt much more comfortable being at home, out of sight of anyone, but Shiro liked to get out of the house. He liked to go on dates. Keith couldn’t take that away from him too and Shiro sounded so unbearably guilty about taking him someplace anxiety inducing. “I’m fine, Takashi.” Keith assured despite his racing heart and aching stomach. He felt like every eye was on him. “Really. I like this place.”

“You promise?” Shiro winced. “Keith, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“You had an awful day yesterday. I can handle going out to breakfast.” Keith said, but jumped when their order was called. 

“I got it.” Shiro said, standing up to get their food from the counter, so Keith could stay seated. He came back with two bagels in one hand and two cups of coffee in the other, setting it all down on the table before sitting again.

“Shit, maybe you should’ve been a waiter.”

“It is a skill.” Shiro shrugged, pushing Keith’s bagel towards him. “Eat up and we’ll go.”

“We don’t have to rush.” Keith said, taking a sip of the coffee for good measure. Sure, he was yearning to retreat back in to privacy, but he wanted Shiro to enjoy himself.

They ate and made small talk, Keith’s heart sinking whenever Shiro moved like he was going to hold his hand, or maybe lean in for a kiss before stopping himself. He tried to compromise, hooking his ankle around Shiro’s under the table where no one could see. That at least made Shiro smile. 

When they finished their food, Shiro took him right back home.

“Come here.” Shiro said as soon as he’d locked the apartment door, turning to wrap his arms around Keith’s waist. “Bedroom?”

“Sure.” Keith grinned, allowing himself to be whisked off. He kind of wanted to try topping again, but it was Shiro’s recovery day. He didn’t want to risk triggering him in any way. 

He let Shiro take him to bed, locking the bedroom door behind him, so Shiro could strip him down, smother him in kisses, lay him down on the bed. Keith felt fine - better than fine - until he heard something rummage next door. The neighbors were home. 

Keith wrapped his legs around Shiro’s hips and buried his face in his neck, biting his lip to stifle his moans. 

“Keith.” Shiro breathed. “Baby, you good?”

“I’m good.”

“You uh… don’t sound like you’re that good?” Shiro stalled his hips and lifted his head to keep Keith from hiding in his neck. “What’s up?”

“Sorry.” Keith breathed, rolling his hips against him. “I don’t want the neighbors to hear us.”

“Baby, they won’t hear.”

“I can hear when they vacuum, I’m pretty sure they can hear when we’re fucking.” Keith put his arms around Shiro’s neck, pushing his hand up into his hair. “It feels good, you can keep going.”

“It’s weird when you don’t make any noise.” Shiro pouted. “Are you really that anxious, Baby?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed, looking at the far wall where he could still hear their neighbors moving furniture. The hell were they up to in there? “We don’t have to stop.”

Shiro sighed and pressed a kiss to Keith’s cheek, reaching down to pull out.

“Hey, wait I said I was good.” Keith frowned as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Takashi.”

“Baby, I’m worried about you. You’re anxious whenever you’re not completely alone with me or shut away in the apartment by yourself.”

“I am not.”

Shiro raised his eyebrows and laid back down next to him, pulling the comforter up to cover them. “You’re anxious when we go out to eat, or go shopping, or now even when you hear the neighbors next door.”

“So what?” Keith sighed. Shiro wasn’t wrong. His medication had been helping him sleep well at night and not lose his mind worrying over Shiro. It kept him from having full blown panic attacks, but he was still anxious. “Do we really have to stop having sex?”

“Yeah.” Shiro nodded, sliding up close to him and putting his head on Keith’s chest. “I don’t want to have sex when you’re feeling nervous about anything.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith grimaced as he wrapped his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “I feel like I’m ruining everything for you.”

“You’re not ruining anything. I just wish I could make you feel more comfortable.”

“I feel fine with you, it’s just… everyone else. Except for the paladins and Coran and stuff, my mom.”

“You can’t just stay in the apartment all the time.”

“I can.” Keith shrugged. “I think it evens out considering we’ve been to every corner of the universe.”

“Keith.” Shiro leaned over and nuzzled his nose against his. “I know you usually tell me stuff like this, but maybe you should go back to that therapist and work on this a little.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Therapy isn’t gonna help me feel like I fit in here. I’m half alien. I practically go into heat once a month, I don’t fit in here. I don’t really fit in anywhere.”

“You fit in my arms.” Shiro grinned, giving Keith a squeeze with his human arm. “I think we should try to go out more at least. You need to get out and maybe if you’re not cooped up so much, you’ll feel a little better.”

“Shiro, I really don’t want to do that.”

“I know, but will you try for me?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Can we go fuck in the shower where I feel like no one can hear us?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled, planting a kiss on Keith’s forehead before he pulled away. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eee thanks yall for keeping up with this fic!! don't forget to leave comments or come say hey on tumblr/twitter!


	9. Blood, Sweat, And Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith kept the focus on Shiro as they moved forward. Sure, his anxiety about going outside the apartment - unless it was to see Shiro at the Garrison - wasn’t getting better, but Shiro had been busy enough lately to let it drop somewhat. Keith kept the apartment clean, made Shiro’s lunch every morning. He was getting better and better at cooking too. Shiro either barely had to lie about it tasting good anymore, or he’d just gotten really good at lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo btw i'm starting up a sheith zine! mod apps go live soon so check out sheith-family-zine.tumblr.com !

Keith kept the focus on Shiro as they moved forward. Sure, his anxiety about going outside the apartment - unless it was to see Shiro at the Garrison - wasn’t getting better, but Shiro had been busy enough lately to let it drop somewhat. Keith kept the apartment clean, made Shiro’s lunch every morning. He was getting better and better at cooking too. Shiro either barely had to lie about it tasting good anymore, or he’d just gotten really good at lying. 

“Hey you.” Keith smiled from the couch when Shiro walked in from work. It had been two weeks since the meltdown in the simulator and he hadn’t had a major incident since. Sometimes he would step out, call Keith for a few calming words, but the medication had helped. He always came home smiling. 

“Hi.” Shiro smiled right back, setting his bag down and walking over to plant a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m gonna go change. Go find something cute to wear.”

“Why?” Keith frowned. “I’m about to make dinner.”

“We’re going to the movies.”

Keith cringed. “ _ Why _ ?”

“Because I love you and you’ve been cooped up in here for like 2 weeks.”

“I don’t want to go to the movies.”

“Yes you do.” Shiro walked around and bent down to give him a proper kiss, holding him there for longer than usual and putting a hand on his cheek. “When’s your next cycle start?”

“ _ Shiro _ .” Keith glared, eyes glowing as he blushed and looked away. “A few days. I think.”

“Then let’s go out now. I know you don’t really feel comfortable out and about when you’re going through that.”

He rolled his eyes. 

“Baby, you can’t keep holing yourself up here for weeks on end. I know I’ve been busy lately, but we’re still gonna work on that.” Shiro leaned in again and kissed the corner of Keith’s mouth. “It’ll be dark. We’ll sit in the back. No one’s gonna be paying any attention to us.”

“What are we even seeing?”

“There’s been like two more Jurassic Parks since we’ve been gone and I know you’d want to see the seventh.”

Keith raised his eyebrows. Dinosaur movies were definitely his biggest guilty pleasure. 

“Will you go?” Shiro asked and his smile was too damn cute to say no to. 

Keith rolled his eyes again, but pressed a kiss to Shiro’s cheek anyways. “Let me get changed.”

**

Keith wore his tightest pair of jeans just to make Shiro happy and let himself be dragged to the movie theater across town. It was at least how he remembered it. Not too much had changed and it almost helped him feel at home a little bit as they got in line for popcorn.

“Would it be okay if I held your hand in the theater?” Shiro asked, his voice low enough that no one around them would here. “I don’t want you to feel anxious, but you know, we are on a date.”

“Yeah. It’ll be dark.” Keith nodded, smiling a little when a little boy walked by and ogled Shiro’s hover arm. “Little kids think you’re a superhero now.”

“Cute.” Shiro grinned as they stepped up to the front of the line. He got them a popcorn to share and the blue flavored soda Keith liked, walking close to him as they walked to the theater. 

Keith had to admit, he didn’t feel as nervous as he usually did. They looked like two friends going out to see a movie. 

They took their seats in the middle of the very back row, Shiro putting up the arm rest between them, so he could rest his human hand on Keith’s thigh. “This okay?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed as he sunk into the seat. “Yeah, this is pretty good.”

“I’m glad.” Shiro smiled as he leaned in to press a kiss to Keith’s forehead, brief and discrete. 

“Don’t make my eyes glow.” Keith blushed, but he snuggled into Shiro’s side anyways with the popcorn in their laps as previews began and other people drifted into the theater. It was dark enough that Keith felt secure in their privacy. People who walked in didn’t look their way, sat fairly far in front of them. He felt comfortable enough to rest his head on Shiro’s shoulder and he didn’t miss the way it made him smile. Maybe he wasn’t such an anxious wreck after all.

The theater didn’t get too full. One couple sat in the row in front of him, but Keith couldn’t think of a reason they’d turn around enough to actually see them, so he stayed content. 

By the time the movie started, Shiro’s fingers combed lazily through Keith’s hair, nearly soothing him into a coma as he watched the CGI dinosaurs. Movie effects had gotten even better in the short time they’d been gone and he didn’t recognize a single actor, but it was fun to watch. 

“Keith.” Shiro whispered, nuzzling his nose against his hair.

“Hm?” Keith lifted his head to be met with Shiro’s lips pressing against his own. Usually, he’d jerk away in a public place, but he leaned into it instinctually this time, letting Shiro kiss him as he they sat so close in the dark, the empty popcorn bucket discarded at their feet. He kissed him back and leaned in for another when their lips parted. He opened his eyes, wanting to see how Shiro looked. He always got lost in their affection and seeing it warmed Keith’s heart, watching Shiro kiss him back with closed eyes and his face flushed.

He relished in the moment until he caught something out of the corner of his eye. The movie screen had just glitched for a moment, flickering over a single frame before resuming, but it was enough to make people turn around and look at the projector. It was enough for the man with his girlfriend - wife? - in the second to last row turn and look straight at them. 

Keith turned red and pushed Shiro back, his bright eyes glowing in the dark theater. His stomach turned as the stranger looked at them in disgust before standing up and taking his date to another row, far away from them. 

“Fucking hell, fuck this.” Keith said in a harsh whisper, planting his head in his hands and staring down at the floor. That one facial expression and he felt like he was suffocating. That guy thought they were freaks, disgusting. His face was the same as the boys who had walked in on him mid-virginity loss and it made his heart rate go through the roof. 

“Keith?” Shiro asked, his voice quiet as he reached out to put a hand on Keith’s back.

He shook his head.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“I want to go home.” Keith gritted. “Can we go?”

“It’s not even halfway over, do you want to just-”

“I want to go home.” 

“Okay.” Shiro said and Keith heard the hurt in his voice as they got up and hurried out of the theater, back out into the bright light of the crowded lobby. 

Keith felt lightheaded again. Too many people. It hadn’t been so crowded before, not even close, but the evening showings were picking up. He kept his gaze on the floor and hurried out, Shiro following close behind him until they made their way to the street again. “Order the car please.”

“Baby, do you want to talk about that?” Shiro frowned, making no move to touch him this time. 

“I didn’t want to go out.” Keith glared. “I didn’t want to go out because of  _ that _ . I’m a fucking alien out here.  _ Literally _ .”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I just… I just wanted to do something nice with you. I feel like I’m a shitty boyfriend never going out with you and you’re doing all the work at home. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t leave the house and I thought if you went out and had a good time that-”

“Please Shiro.” Keith put his fingers on his temples, trying to rub out the anxious tension. “Just call a car. I don’t want to have this conversation out here.”

“Okay.”

The ride home was tense and silent, Keith staring out the window to avoid the hurt he knew was in Shiro’s eyes. He was trying so  _ hard _ not to be pissed at him. He knew that Shiro had only been trying to be nice and help, but he couldn’t get rid of the anger at him for making him go and face that stupid judgemental look they’d gotten. 

Shiro didn’t say anything when they got to the apartment building, just lead Keith up the stairs and unlocked the door for him before he went to the linen closet. 

“What are you doing?” Keith frowned, watching Shiro take the spare sheets from the closets. 

“I’ll take the couch. You don’t have to sleep with me.” Shiro said as he shut the closet again. His eyes looked so fucking sad, but Keith was on the defense. 

“It’s not that big a deal. You don’t have to make me feel guilty for wanting to leave.”

“I’m not trying to guilt you, I’m trying to give you some space.” Shiro sighed. “You’re acting like you’re super mad at me. I don’t want us to fight, so I’m gonna give you space.”

Keith’s chest tightened. Yeah, he felt mad, but he’d still thought they’d get in bed together, or pull a movie up and get comfy on the couch and he’d probably calm down. Even when he was mad at Shiro, he felt vulnerable after the whole incident and had hoped at the end of the night, he’d be held again. Ugh, it was his fault for acting mad, but he just felt even more frustrated that Shiro would rather ditch him for the sofa instead of comfort him. They hadn’t slept apart since they landed on Earth. 

“Fine.” Keith shrugged, turning and walking off to the bedroom. He shut the door behind him and glared as he kicked off his sneakers and changed into light pajamas. He was sweating all over. Probably just a system of his temper, but he felt hot and gross. Maybe it was better he didn’t have another warm body to sleep with.

Why did Shiro have to claim the couch so early? They hadn’t even eaten a real dinner and it wasn’t that late at night, but Keith wasn’t going to go to the living room and argue.

He shut the lights off and laid down on top of the covers with a pillow hugged to his chest. 

A little extra sleep never hurt anyone.

**

Keith woke up in the middle of the night, aching. He was almost soaked in sweat, his dick throbbing in his briefs and his balls stinging like he was about to explode. 

“What the fuck?” He groaned, pressing down on himself and hissing. It was painfully familiar. The desire that he’d had last month once the cycle started, but so much more intense. It was painful. The friction didn’t do nearly enough and his eyes welled once he realized he was in bed alone. He didn’t know that the cycle symptoms were going to change. Maybe his first one had just been weaker than his typical ones would be, but holy shit, it  _ hurt _ . 

Keith bit his lip and pushed himself up out of bed, stumbling to the door. He walked out to the living room where Shiro was sleeping, practically doubled over as he hurried over to Shiro and shook his shoulder. “Shiro?” He croaked. “Shiro, wake up.”

“Hm.” Shiro mumbled before blinking his eyes open. “Keith? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Keith shook his head, his voice shaky as he spoke. “I-I think my cycle thing started, but it’s worse than last time. It hurts, Shiro. I-I’m not just horny, like it  _ hurts _ .”

“What hurts, Baby?” Shiro frowned, sitting himself up and looking down where Keith was cradling himself with one hands between his legs. “Are you-?”

“I know you’re mad at me, but please touch me or something.” Keith begged, reaching out to grab Shiro’s hand and squeezing. “I’m sorry I was shitty, but my whole body’s on fire and it doesn’t feel good. H-Help?”

“Oh my God, Baby. Baby, come here.” Shiro breathed as he pulled Keith onto the couch next to him. “You’re absolutely sure you want to be touched right now? You’re really upset.”

“Please.” Keith sniffled, his eyes still teary and his heart still racing. He felt like his body was going to burn a hole through the couch. “Takashi, please.”

“Okay, okay I got you. I’m right here.” Shiro cooed, sliding his hand between Keith’s legs and squeezing him through his underwear. 

“More than that.”

“Okay.” Shiro nodded as Keith lifted his hips, allowing him to push the underwear down his thighs and get a firm grip on his cock. “Jesus, Keith.” He said as he stroked him. 

“I didn’t even know I could  _ be _ this hard.” Keith covered his face with his hands. “It’s not enough. H-Hurts.”

“Spread your legs a little.”

Keith complied despite the humiliation and groaned when Shiro hovered his metal hand between his legs, two fingers pressing onto his perineum and vibrating. It sent a wave of relief through his body. “ _ Yes, holy shit, fuck _ .” He gasped as his head tipped back against the couch. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Try to relax.” Shiro said before licking his lips and bending down to take him in his mouth. 

Keith let go of any inhibition. Fuck the neighbors. Fuck the whole apartment building. He knotted Shiro’s hair in his fingers and moaned at the top of his lungs as the heat inside him became manageable. It turned from pain to pleasure, Shiro’s fingers and tongue giving him just enough to get off and find relief. 

Shiro worked him mechanically, pressing his perineum hard, pulsating vibrations as he bobbed his head back and forth with a disgustingly explicit wet sound. 

Keith barely had the wherewithal not to scream when he came, biting down on his fist when he spilled into Shiro’s mouth. It was more than he’d ever released, Shiro swallowing around him over and over until he’d finished completely. The heat simmered down, the pain dulling as he finally relaxed against the couch, tension relieved. 

“Better?” Shiro asked when he lifted his head and wiped his mouth. 

“That was so fucking embarrassing.” Keith sniffed, pulling his underwear up and blinking back tears. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Your body is going through something.” Shiro said as he reached his hand up to pet Keith’s hair, leaning in to press a warm kiss to his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry for being a dick to you earlier.” He choked. “You’re nothing but amazing to me and I was shitty and fucking argumentative and I hated falling asleep without you.”

“Come here, shh.” Shiro cooed, pulling Keith right into his arms and squeezing as he peppered kisses into Keith’s damp hair. “It’s fine. I made you go out and exactly what you were worried about happening, kind of happened. I still don’t want you to hide away in here all the time, but you had a right to be mad.”

“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He hugged Shiro tight and squeezed his eyes shut. “Takashi, I don’t understand all this shit with my body. Please don’t make me go out until this passes at least, okay? I feel like a freak.” 

“Do whatever you need to do.” Shiro said, rubbing Keith’s back as he held him. He’d sweated right through the shirt. “Will you be okay when I go to work today?”

“I think so. I hope this is a one time thing.” He sighed. “It scared me.”

“I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Shiro grimaced. “Do you want to go to bed now? Please sleep in instead of doing all those chores in the morning.”

“Okay.” Keith nodded as Shiro pressed a few more kisses to his forehead. “Will you come to bed with me?”

“Of course I will.” Shiro laughed, giving him one more squeeze before letting go and standing up. “Come on.” 

They retreated to the bedroom and Keith changed into clean clothes before sliding under the covers with Shiro. 

“Hey.” Shiro smiled as he pulled Keith against him. “You know, you just moaned louder than you ever have in the apartment, right?”

Keith’s eyes glowed brighter. “Holy shit.”

“I thought it was cute.”

“Ugh, tonight’s a mess.” He sighed, shutting his eyes and snuggling in close to Shiro. “Thanks for not being mad at me.”

“I don’t want to be mad at you.” Shiro said as he squeezed him. “You’re dealing with a tough transition right now and you’ve had to deal with my issues a lot too.”

“You’re not something to deal with.”

“Neither are you.”

Keith rolled his eyes and let Shiro press another kiss to the top of his head. “Let’s just agree to be each other’s problems and go to bed.”

**

Keith woke up two more times in the middle of the night, soaked in sweat and painfully hard. Each time, Shiro woke up with him, coaxed him through the pain and the tension until he could give him release and Keith would fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow again. 

In the morning, Keith was in the same state - now the fourth time total. How long was this shit supposed to last? 

“Shiro.” He croaked, rolling over and spooning him from behind, wincing as he grinded up against his ass a bit. 

“Hm?” Shiro mumbled. His eyes drooped open and he rolled over to see Keith, red in the face and eyes glowing again. “Oh Baby, still?”

“I’m sorry.” Keith swallowed. “I-I don’t know why it’s so out of control like this, but… please? J-Just one more time and I promise I’ll help you get out the door.”

“Okay, okay. I got you.” Shiro yawned as he hovered his hand down beneath the covers. 

Keith spread his legs and let Shiro’s metal fingers vibrate on his perineum. They’d figured out on the third try, that it was the most convenient way to get him off. Shiro would pulse the vibrations on the sensitive spot while Keith stroked himself and boom - he was temporarily cured. 

He did exactly what they’d done just two hours ago, writhing and groaning as Shiro’s fingers relieved him. Shiro reached his human hand over just to stroke Keith’s stomach, whispering in his ear not to be embarrassed, that it was all okay. They’d put a towel on the nightstand and when Keith finished, Shiro reached for it and cleaned him up, pressing gentle kisses into his hair as he came down. 

“Please call me if you need me to come home today, okay?” Shiro said, running his fingers through Keith’s damp hair. “Call your mom and ask her about what’s going on. Maybe there’s something we can do, or that you can take to calm down a little.”

“Thanks for dealing with me. This is disgusting.” Keith sighed, curling up around Shiro and hugging him. “You’re the only thing making me feel like I’m maybe not a complete freak right now.”

“You’re not a freak. You’re just a little different and if you were with the Galra right now, you’d fit right in.” Shiro teased, pressing one more kiss to Keith’s head. “You want to sleep in?”

Keith shook his head. “I’ll go make your lunch.”

“Do you want to hop in the shower with me first?”

Keith’s face turned pink, nodding his head and blushing further when Shiro leaned in to give him a kiss. Huh. His heart hadn’t really been thumping at that sort of thing lately, but he had butterflies in his stomach. 

They got up together and made their way to the shower, Keith already naked from the long night of stop-and-go sex as Shiro stripped out of his pajamas. Keith got the water going and melted right into Shiro when he stepped in and pulled the curtain shut, wrapping his arms around his waist and smiling when Shiro held him back underneath the water. 

“You’re in a pretty good mood now.” Shiro smiled. “Feeling better?”

“Mhm.” Keith smiled back, shutting his eyes and nuzzling his cheek against Shiro’s shoulder. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Well it was bound to be my turn at some point, right? Hopefully we won’t have any other hiccups today.” Shiro kissed his forehead. “But really, Baby. I don’t want you to feel judged about something you really obviously can’t help. If you need me to come home and take care of you, just say the word.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna pull you out of work to get me off.” 

“We should buy you something for next time.” Shiro sighed, stroking his human hand down Keith’s back. “I can go out and get one I think you’ll like if you’re too anxious to go into a sex shop.”

“I would rather die than go to a sex shop, but if you could um… Find something for me.” Keith bit his lip. “I mean, it’d probably help.”

“I’ll go after work, but I’ll be here whenever you need me to get you through this okay?” Shiro promised, letting Keith stay snug in his arms as the room fogged up with steam. “You’re pretty cuddly today.”

“I love you.”

“Oh.” Shiro laughed. “I love you too.” He bent down to give Keith a proper kiss on the lips before finally letting go of him to get the shampoo. “Come here, I’ll do your hair.”

**

Keith got Shiro’s lunch made and clothes laid out after the shower. He wasn’t feeling heated again yet, in fact, he was just feel kind of lovey dovey. He’d felt like that plenty of times before, but recently, he’d gotten so comfortable and there hadn’t been as many flutters in his chest. Once Shiro was out the door, he was already yearning for him to come back. 

“Hey Mom.” Keith sighed, pillow hugged to his chest when she answered his call, appearing on the hovering screen in front of him with the Blade of Marmora base in her background. 

“Hey Kiddo, what’s going on? You look down.”

“Um, so… That thing is happening to me again?” He blushed. “The uh… cycle?”

“Is it giving you a tough time?”

“This is embarrassing.” He groaned. “Ugh. Mom, is it normal to be like… I don’t know, super um... “

“Spit it out, Hon.”

“This thing keeps happening to me where like every few hours I heat up and I like… need sex.” He mumbled, staring down at his lap as he forced out the words. “It’s not good, or anything, it just hurts until Shiro makes it go away. We were up all night.”

“Wow.” Krolia blinked. “Huh. I guess you are having full cycles after all. The first one was just a little light I guess.”

“Is this normal?”

“For Galra, yup. It’s just that side of you coming out a bit now that you’re older. Did you uh… Did you say Shiro was helping you?”

“I mean, yeah… We’re together and everything.” Keith swallowed. “Is that an issue?”

“I don’t think it will be.”

“What does that mean?”

“If you’re going into actual heat to some degree, you’ll bond pretty deeply to whoever you’re sleeping with during that time.”

Keith’s face turned red. “Really?”

“Do you think that’s an issue for you guys?”

“No, um…” He couldn’t help the stupid grin that spread across his face. “It actually makes me kind of happy. I’m glad it’s him.”

“Okay, you know the first person you’re with in that state is usually it. Me and your father-”

“ _ Stop _ ,  _ stop _ ,  _ stop _ .” Keith put his hands over his ears. “Don’t need to know.”

“Eh.” Krolia shrugged your shoulders. “So you’ve been taking care of it?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled as he took his hands away again. “How long is it going to be like this?”

“Should only be about twenty-four hours where it’s really bad like that. Make sure to watch your temperature. You’re still half human, fever’s are bad.”

“Alright.” Keith sighed. “I’m gonna go do the laundry before the next episode hits me.”

“You’re quite the housewife these days, aren’t you?” Krolia laughed. “I’ve gotta get going too. Call me if you have any questions, okay?”

“Okay.” He blushed before hanging up. It felt cheesy to admit, but thank God he had a mom who could talk him through this stuff. If he didn’t know who he was and this had just happened to him.

Keith got out of bed and headed for the kitchen to get some chores going. He didn’t want to think too hard about all the possibilities. If he didn’t have her and Shiro, he might not have made it at all.

**

Keith managed to get the dishes done and dinner made before his temperature started to noticeably rise again. Shiro would be home in an hour. He felt the sweat starting to form as he set the table, desire building up inside him. He didn’t just want Shiro to relieve him, he wanted to be held again. He wanted to be kissed and stroked and told that he shouldn’t be embarrassed about this whole thing he was going through. 

Twenty minutes before Shiro came, the aching started. Ten minutes before, Keith was waiting anxiously on the couch, shivering and chewing his lip to the point of bleeding. 

When the front door opened, Keith was up like a shot.

“Takashi.” Keith grinned as soon as he saw him, kicking the door shut behind Shiro and locking it before he yanked him into a hug. “Thank god you’re here, it’s just setting in and-”

“Could you take this one on your own?” Shiro asked, his shoulders slumped as he pulled out of Keith’s grip.

“Um…” Keith’s heart sank as his arms fell back by his side. “Did you pick up what we talked about?”

“I didn’t have time.” 

Keith’s chest tightened. He couldn’t get himself off in this state. They’d figured that out last night. How was he going to get rid of the tension before it got painful? He couldn’t force Shiro into sex when he didn’t want it. 

“I had a really bad day.” Shiro sighed, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Keith’s cheek. “Will you be okay if I go take a nap?”

Keith’s stomach turned. He wouldn’t be. The heat would grow and he’d be a sweaty mess, hurting in the most sensitive part of his body. “I-I’ll be okay.” His chest ached with the thought of not getting the affection he’d been craving either. He’d missed Shiro all day. “Do you want to talk about your day?”

“Later.” Shiro mumbled as he brushed past him and headed for the bedroom.

“I made dinner, do you want to eat first?” Keith tried to hide the desperation in his tone as Shiro shook his head and shut himself in the bathroom. Shit, what was he supposed to do? Maybe he didn’t have to get off. Maybe he could just distract himself and the heat would pass. 

He poured himself a cold glass of water in the kitchen and sat on the sofa in the living room with the TV on, trying to ignore the twitching between his legs. It didn’t hurt badly yet. He could wait. 

He tried to stay occupied with the television, watching the first action film he found in the hopes a number of explosions would keep him from giving in to the ball of heat in his abdomen, but it was failing pretty fast. He was hard and it ached more than it felt good, like pins and needles in his testicles until he pressed his hand down on himself. The pressure helped, but not enough. Fuck.

Keith tried to rub at himself through the shorts, but it hurt more than it helped and he was anxious being in the living room with windows, even if the curtains were closed and the door was locked. His mouth wobbled. Shiro said that he’d take care of him and then he’d just ditched him. He could never pressure Shiro into sex and feel right about that, but he’d also bailed on going to the sex shop to get something to help him - as much as Keith was embarrassed to use a toy on himself. A toy would be better than sitting in pain. 

Keith gritted his teeth and hugged himself as his body started to go into chills, his fever climbing. He fucking hated this. Why did he have to be part Galra? He loved his mom, but he’d never felt like more of a freak in his life. Shiro didn’t even want to help him. 

_ He’s grossed out by you. Who wouldn’t be? _

Tears welled in Keith’s eyes. This was miserable. Why did he have to go through this shit? He felt alone. 

The bedroom door creaked open and Keith froze, chewing the inside of his cheek to keep from making noise again as he shivered on the sofa, Shiro walking out half-asleep. “Hey, just got thirsty.” Shiro mumbled, walking out into the living room and rubbing his eyes. “How are you-” He stopped and blinked at the sight of him, sweat starting to soak through his shirt, shaking. “Holy shit, Keith why didn’t you come get me?”

“I didn’t want to make you do anything.” Keith croaked, his teeth starting to chatter. “Takashi, I don’t feel good. I-I don’t like this. I want it to stop, I feel so fucking disgusting.” He didn’t know if it was his true feelings, the Galra hormones, or a mix of both, but he started sobbing. Even his own body had betrayed him. He was a freak, undeniably.

“Keith…” Shiro breathed, his eyes wide with concern before he sprung to action. “Come here. I got you.” He hooked his hover arm under Keith’s knees and wrapped his full arm around his waist, picking Keith up like he weighed less than a stuffed animal before he carried him to the bedroom. “Take a deep breath.” He said when he set Keith down. 

“Door.” Keith croaked and Shiro nodded in understanding, hurrying to shut the bedroom door and lock it before he rushed to dig the lube out of their nightstand drawer. 

“I’m sorry for coming home like I did.” Shiro said as he tugged off Keith’s shorts, tossing them to the floor and lubing up the fingers of his hover hand. “I’ll finish you fast, I promise.”

Keith just gave a desperate nod and covered his face with his hands, too humiliated to look down at himself when Shiro pressed the first finger in. It added to the pain, but only for a moment until the vibrations started, Shiro curling his finger expertly inside of him and reaching his other hand over to wrap around Keith’s cock, already soaked and slick with pre-cum. 

“Does that feel better, Baby?” Shiro cooed once he had two fingers in, vibrating them inside of Keith’s walls and pressing them right against his prostate. 

Keith just whimpered and gave another nod, feeling the pressure ease as Shiro worked on him. He hated himself in that moment, half naked and disgusting, soaked in sweat for what felt like the tenth time in hours.

He kept his hands over his face when he came, feeling tears swell up at the release and he whined through the orgasm, body going limp once it passed and the tears trickled down the side of his face.

“Are you okay?”

Keith shook his head, sniffling when he felt Shiro clean him up and toss the towel aside. 

“Keith, come here.” Shiro said, settling himself next to him on the bed and holding his arms out. 

Keith rolled into them and swallowed the lump in his throat when Shiro squeezed. “Why’d you leave me like that?” He croaked, still trembling as Shiro held him. “You said you’d take care of me.” Krolia hadn’t been exaggerating about that bond. He felt like he needed Shiro more than ever and that tiny sense of abandonment, of Shiro walking away when Keith had needed his help, made his heart ache.

“I’m so sorry.” Shiro whispered, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s hair. “I didn’t realize how urgent it was. It’ll never happen again. I’ll go out as soon as you’re feeling better and buy you something, so you can help yourself if I’m not here.”

Keith hiccupped and pressed closer to him. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“Baby, you need-”

“I’ll go with you. Don’t leave me.” Keith knew how utterly pathetic he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like he’d disintegrate if he was left alone again. 

“Okay.” Shiro breathed, stroking Keith’s back. “I’m so sorry, Baby. I won’t let it happen again. I’ll take care of you, I’m here.” 

“Thank you.” Keith took a shaky deep breath in and hugged him tight, letting the trembling pass as he eventually relaxed against Shiro’s warm chest. 

“Did you talk to your mom?”

Keith nodded. 

“And?”

“It’s normal for Galra.” Keith swallowed. “We have to be careful because I could really overheat and pass out.”

“Shit.” Shiro grimaced. “Anything else?”

“Um…” Keith’s mind wandered back to the bonding part. He probably shouldn’t mention it. It’d freak Shiro out, something too committal. “Not really. I’m supposed to be better in twenty-four hours, so tonight should be okay.”

“Okay, well let’s stay here until you’re calmed down.” Shiro said, running his fingers through Keith’s hair. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened at work?” Keith asked, his heart rate calming as Shiro petted his hair.

“There’s this problem case in my class.” Shiro grimaced. “He likes fucking with me. I know he’s probably actually struggling, but I’m having trouble reaching out to him. He dropped a textbook to make me jump and it gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“Shit, Shiro.” Keith nuzzled his cheek against his chest. “That sucks. You shouldn’t have to deal with someone triggering you on purpose.”

“It’s alright, I’ll get by. I wish the Garrison had someone to help these fucking kids. We don’t even have a guidance counselor.”

“Yeah, that would’ve helped when I was there.” Keith grimaced. “I’m sure you’ll be able to reach him somehow, but don’t tolerate kids trying to give you panic attacks.”

Shiro stroked his hand down Keith’s back and he shivered, letting his eyes fall shut. “Keith?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry everything’s been hard lately. I’m not gonna push you to do stuff you don’t want to do and um… I’m gonna do a better job at being here for you. You’re always there for me.”

Keith smiled and leaned up to kiss his neck, nuzzling his nose against the spot. “Thanks, Takashi.”

“Of course.” Shiro smiled back, dipping down to catch him in a proper kiss that spread warmth back through his body - the good kind. “I’m right here for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa i hope y'all are liking this i promise the heat thing plays an actual role in the plot and i'm not just tryna spam smut lol sorry for all the angst in this chapter!


	10. Out In The Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what are you up to today?” Shiro asked, sitting across from Keith at the table in the teacher’s lounge as he ate the lunch he’d made for him.   
> “Uh, I don’t know. Working out, cleaning the apartment, making dinner?”  
> “And?”  
> “And what?” Keith shrugged, eating a bite of pasta from the tupperware he’d brought.   
> “Shouldn’t you… do something else?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is late y'all! My laptop broke and I just now today got the new little chromebook I'll be using for classes, so I'm running off of that now

When the cycle and the heat was over, Keith tried to indulge Shiro where he could. He didn’t like to go out, but he’d muscle through a dinner date and he’d meet Shiro at the Garrison for lunch pretty frequently - mostly to make sure he was okay and help take his mind off things when he wasn’t. 

He’d finally bought new clothes, or rather let Shiro buy them. Just more jeans and some different shirts, one nicer outfit for formal stuff and while he still felt out of place in them, he loved the way Shiro smiled when he wore something different. 

“So what are you up to today?” Shiro asked, sitting across from Keith at the table in the teacher’s lounge as he ate the lunch he’d made for him. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Working out, cleaning the apartment, making dinner?”

“And?”

“And what?” Keith shrugged, eating a bite of pasta from the tupperware he’d brought. 

“Shouldn’t you… do something else?”

Keith blinked. “Shiro if you need me to iron something just lay it out on the bed.”

“Babe.” Shiro sighed. “It’s been like two months. This isn’t about me making you go out and stuff, but… what are you gonna do with yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“A job?” 

Keith’s heart leapt to his throat, eyes widening as he looked up at him. “Holy shit, Shiro I’m so sorry you’ve been handling the money all this time, I just-”

“Baby, Baby no.” Shiro said, reaching across the table to take his hand and squeeze it while no one was in the room with them. His eyes weren’t condescending or cruel, just soft and concerned like they always were. “I know you don’t want to pilot, but… I mean, you’ve gotta do something right? Careerwise?”

“There isn’t anything I want to do.” Keith glared back down at his pasta. “Isn’t fighting aliens enough?”

“Are you really happy just being inside all day?”

“I don’t want to talk about this, Shiro.” Keith mumbled, pushing his food around. “I’m fine just taking care of you and dealing with my shit right now. That heat stuff freaked me out.”

“Okay.” Shiro relented, his shoulders slumped as he ran his thumb over the back of Keith’s hand. “Will you hear me out if I came up with a date idea that could work for you?”

Keith raised his eyebrows. 

“Remember how we used to race out in the desert?” Shiro asked, a soft smile on his face as he looked at Keith with bright eyes. He looked genuinely excited. 

“Yeah?”

“We can take those same small ships out if you want to. I asked Iverson.”

“You want to race?” Keith laughed. 

“We could race, have a picnic, and uh… I have one more idea. I think it could help you with the sex anxiety?”

“Shiro.” Keith tensed, glancing towards the door to the lounge.

“No one can hear me.” Shiro assured, scootching his chair closer to the table. “The desert’s completely empty. No one around. We could have sex and you could make all the noise you want. Maybe it’d help you feel more confident and less ashamed? It might be stupid, I just really want to do stuff for you like you do for me.” 

Keith chewed on his lower lip. He had been doing some new things lately to try and ease Shiro’s anxiety. He ordered a white noise machine for the bedroom, started brewing him tea every night, leaving notes of encouragement in his lunchbox. He knew more than anyone that those things didn’t make mental illness go away, but they did help. Shiro would want to put the same effort in for him. “I don’t know, Shiro.”

“We don’t have to do the sex part, but I really, really think you need a chance to let loose and not be anxious about being caught, or heard, you know? We would never be seen out there. That’s why we used to spend so much time out in the desert anyways.”

“I’ll do the date, but I have to think about the sex part.” Keith blushed, hugging his new leather jacket to his chest as he leaned back in his chair. “Don’t you have to get to class soon?”

“I can be a minute late.” Shiro glanced back at the door to make sure no one was coming. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.” Keith smiled, unable to help falling for how sweet Shiro was when Keith came to visit him at work. It made both of their days easier, being able to see each other for a few extra minutes. He leaned across the small table and let Shiro plant a kiss on his lips, kissing him right back to send him all the good vibes he could to face the rest of his day with. 

“Love you.” Shiro said when they parted, raising one hand to push Keith’s hair back behind his ear. He was still smiling, his eyes all bright just from the prospect of Keith agreeing to a date. “I’ll be home on time, yeah?”

“Okay.” Keith said as he got up and packed his lunch away, giving in to the urge and pressing an extra kiss to the top of Shiro’s head before he headed out. “Call me if you need me.”

**

Keith had managed to get out of the conversation, but his thoughts became dominated by what Shiro had brought up. What  _ was _ he going to do? He didn’t really want to do anything. He didn’t want to go back to space, or go back to being a cadet. He just wanted to stay fucking put for once. He wanted to keep spending time with Shiro and doing every bit of housework he could find to try and earn his keep. Was it about the money? Maybe Shiro was getting fed up with him freeloading and just didn’t want to say it. 

The workout routine he’d planned was replaced with lying on the couch, wracking his brain over what he could even see himself doing. He thought about it until it was time to keep dinner then kept thinking. What made him happy? The only answer to that was Shiro and basic things like talking to his mom, or playing with Kosmo, seeing the other paladins - who he did video call frequently, but Shiro was right he’d been staying more and more holed up. 

Soon his chest just felt heavy. Who was he?

The front door opened at six o’clock, Shiro walking in and dropping his briefcase before he went up to Keith and kissed his forehead. “Hey Sleepy, how long you been here?” He asked as Keith blushed. The answer was hours. “Is dinner ready?”

_ Shit. _ “Fuck, sorry Shiro I didn’t get to it yet.” Keith grimaced. “I um… I wasn’t feeling good.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie, what with existential depression and whatnot.

“Are you sick?”

“I don’t know.”

“Baby.” Shiro sighed, sitting down at the far end of the couch and letting Keith move his head into his lap. “This is what I’m worried about with you.” He combed his fingers through Keith’s hair. “You didn’t even take your shoes or your jacket off. You’ve been laying here for hours.”

Shit, he couldn’t hide anything from Shiro. 

“I can’t make you do anything, but try to think about what you can do with your time okay? Do that for me.”

“Alright.” Keith grimaced, rolling onto his side, so his nose could nuzzle Shiro’s stomach. “I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.”

“And I’ll try the sex in the desert idea.”

Shiro’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Keith nodded. “Don’t get mad if I chicken out, but I’ll try it. I know that no one comes out there.”

“Friday night when I get home?”

“Sure.” Keith gave a little smile and pressed a kiss to Shiro’s abs through his uniform just because they were close to his lips. The bond he’d formed during his cycle hadn’t faded. He felt this amazing sense of warmth now whenever he was with Shiro like this, just the two of them, snuggled close. He still hadn’t told him about it, but there was no need to. It didn’t change anything. Keith just loved him. He always had and if Shiro was always going to be nearby, then it wasn’t a big deal.

“Want me to make dinner tonight?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind.” Shiro said, scratching a little behind Keith’s ear to make him purr. “You’re too cute.”

“I can’t help it when you touch me like this.” Keith laughed, Shiro’s hover hand stroking down his side. “Can I at least help you with dinner? I’ve been getting better, but I can still learn a lot from you.”

“Alright, come on.” Shiro said, giving him a squeeze before nudging his head out of his lap. “I think we have some pork in the fridge.”

**

Keith had butterflies in his stomach for what felt like the whole rest of the week. He was wracking his brain for any kind of job he thought he could stand and nothing came to mind. Not to mention he was nervous as hell for their date. He knew Shiro would be over the moon to fly again if they were just racing, but part of him worried it might send him back into a funk about not being a pilot. 

Shiro seemed to be giving him the time to think, but he knew at least after their date, he’d be asked again what the hell he was going to do with his life. 

When Friday came, Shiro was home as soon as class was out, packing them a picnic basket with subs from the deli down the road, a bottle of wine, and plenty of lube in case Keith stuck with his decision. 

Keith wore the leather jacket again and tried to make himself look at least a little nice - even if he’d be covered in dust by the time they finished flying. 

“You ready?” Shiro grinned, basket in hand and flight jacket on. It was even tighter on him now than it had been back when they met. 

“Yeah.” Keith smiled as he toed his shoes on. “The ships are out?”

“Yup. We’ll just go to our spot.”

“Cool.” He pressed a kiss to Shiro’s cheek and took the basket from him, so he wouldn’t have to carry it. “Let’s get going.”

**

It felt good to fly again. The dust whipping through his hair while the goggles kept his eyes clear, circling around Shiro to pull ahead of him, only to fall behind again. It was already night time, the stars clear to see out in the desert as they flew over the barren landscape. Keith found himself actually feeling pretty happy. He still had no desire to go back to space, or become a pilot again, but just flying close to the ground with Shiro made his heart feel light. 

They touched down next to each other, pointing the head of their ships at each other to create a triangle. It made Keith feel like they had a little bit of a privacy barrier as they laid out the picnic blanket between the ships.

“I really missed that.” Shiro sighed, a smile on his face as he set their food out on the blanket. 

“I mean, I did miss coming out here with you. It’s nice.” Keith plopped down next to him and pulled out the wine. He was starting to feel better about having sex right there. He had some adrenaline from the flight and a glass of wine would take some of the edge off. 

“I loved flying with you back then.” Shiro said, kicking his shoes off and sliding up close to him. He put the plate with Keith’s sub in front of him and started to eat his own, pressing a greasy kiss to Keith’s forehead as a thank you when he handed him a glass of wine. “You’re so talented when it comes to flying.”

Keith just shrugged his shoulders and slipped out of his jacket. “It’s fun to do out here. I don’t really miss it though.”

“Yeah.” Shiro said, his tone emotionless. Shit, Keith probably shouldn’t rub in the whole flying thing. “How are you feeling?”

“I think I’m gonna do it.” Keith nodded. “I trust you.”

“Great.” Shiro reached his hand over to put on Keith’s thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Your eyes always glow in the moonlight you know.”

“That’s so gay.” Keith laughed, but when he looked over, Shiro looked pretty angelic himself. The starlight reflected off his white hair and he was practically glowing. He just wanted to kiss the scar on his nose and run his hands through that hair, but there was no need to rush. He leaned into him while he ate and nuzzled his cheek against his shoulder. “Thanks for taking me out, Shiro. I felt like shit after that cycle stuff.”

“Of course. I mean, I love taking you out. We can keep coming up with more private dates if that’s what makes you happy.”

“I’ll do stuff you want to do too, I just prefer to be alone with you.” Keith said between bites, “I mean you’re the only one who knows everything going on with me. Thank God this heat shit didn’t start until we got to Earth.”

“No one would judge you for what you’re going through.”

“They would.” Keith shrugged as he took another bite. “I don’ really care though.” He said with a full mouth. “‘Cause you don’t judge me, so what I do care what anyone else thinks?”

“That’s my Keith.” Shiro sighed, taking a long sip of wine and setting his plate aside. “Keep eating, I just can’t look at you in this light and not kiss you a thousand times.”

“Shiro.” Keith snorted when he started to kiss his neck. “You’re so impatient.”

“You’re usually the one jumping me, Mister.”

“Shut up.” Keith put his food out of the way and craned his neck to give Shiro better access, shivering when his tongue lapped at his neck, warm and wet like always. “Shiro.”

“Come here.”

Keith let his eyes fall shut to the night sky, tipping his head back as Shiro sucked a hickey onto his collar. The hand on his thigh was sending tingles through his legs as he felt Shiro inch it closer and closer until he dipped it between Keith’s legs.  _ Yes _ . It didn’t feel wrong like he thought it would. Even if they were out in the open, there was no one but them. No one could see Shiro massaging his dick through his denim, or hear him groan when Shiro started to nibble on his ear. 

“How do you feel, Baby?” Shiro whispered, pressing the heel of his palm down on Keith’s bulge. 

“Great.” Keith breathed, eyes glowing bright in the dark. “I-I think I want to do this.”

“You sure?”

He nodded his head and grabbed the wine glasses, moving them off the picnic blanket along with the plates. They could finish later. 

Shiro pushed Keith right onto his back and worked his hand up his shirt, brushing his thumb over his nipple when he leaned in for a proper kiss. 

The sensation parted Keith’s lips. He threw his arms around Shiro’s neck as they kissed, tongues brushing together with all of the passion and none of the force. He never liked to wrestle with him, much preferring the gentle strokes of their tongues when they kissed like this. “Takashi.” He whispered during kisses, feeling Shiro’s thigh press between his legs. 

“Can I take your clothes off?”

Keith’s heart thumped hard enough to send butterflies to his chest, but he nodded. “Yeah.”

Shiro peeled Keith out of his clothes one piece at a time, kissing all of his stress away as he thumbed open his jeans. He sat back on his heels and untied Keith’s shoes, sliding them off along with his socks, tucking them into the Converse, so the dust wouldn’t get in. “Come here.” He whispered, sliding up to kiss the center of Keith’s bare chest, his pants still open and low on his hips. 

“Shiro.” Keith sighed, a lazy smile on his face as Shiro moved over to suck his nipple into his mouth. “Mmm.” He shut his eyes and let his hands fall to Shiro’s shoulders. 

Shiro scraped his teeth against the bud, drawing a sharp gasp from Keith before he started to kiss down his torso, dragging his lips down to the fuzzy treasure trail on his naval. 

“Baby.” Keith tensed, his jeans becoming uncomfortably tight.

“I’m getting there.” Shiro grinned, dipping his tongue into Keith’s belly button before he tugged down his jeans and leaned down to mouth at his cock through his underwear. 

“Shirooo.” Keith whined, already fisting the picnic blanket.

Shiro pulled down the waist of his black briefs, Keith’s cock hard against his stomach as he licked a stripe up the underside. “Feeling good?”

Keith gave a weak nod and pushed one hand into Shiro’s hair, tangling the silky white locks in his fingers. 

“You look so beautiful out here.” Shiro murmured, aiming Keith’s dick towards his mouth and looking up at him as he sucked on the tip. 

“Hhh.” Keith bit his lip. “Takashi.”

Shiro dipped his tongue into the slit and lapped up the pre-cum, dragging his tongue down the underside in one more teasing lick before he took Keith properly in his mouth. 

Keith sighed in relief as Shiro took him in, his warm mouth enveloping his full length, letting his tip slide right down his throat, so he could swallow around him. “Fuck.” He hooked his leg over Shiro’s shoulder and gasped when Shiro pulled his mouth off with a pop, turning to suck a hickey onto the inside of Keith’s thigh. 

“Can I get you naked?”

Keith gave a weak nod and lifted his hips, letting Shiro pull his pants and briefs down from his knees and off of his legs. He tossed them into a pile with Keith’s shirt and crawled over him to give another proper kiss. 

“Can you get naked too?”

Shiro nodded and Keith sat up to unzip his jacket. “Are you cold or anything?”

“I’m fine.” Keith laughed, sliding the jacket off of Shiro’s broad shoulders and pulling the black t-shirt over his head to toss into the mound of his clothes. “Come here.” He smiled, heart racing as he pulled Shiro into a kiss and let his hands wander down his chest. He was buck naked  _ outdoors _ . It felt fucking liberating. He turned his head and planted his parted lips on Shiro’s neck, sucking lightly, but being careful not to leave a mark that Shiro’s students could see. “I love you.” He grinned as he unbuttoned Shiro’s jeans. “This feels fucking good.”

“I’m so glad, Keith.” Shiro sighed as Keith’s hand slipped into his briefs. “I love you too.”

“We can make this our spot.” Keith said as he stroked Shiro, wrapping his fingers around the warm base and running his fist up to the tip before squeezing. It made a pearl of pre-cum leak out, so he shoved Shiro’s jeans and underwear down further, waiting for him to reposition and kick it all off before he bent down to lap it up. “You’re gonna fuck me out here because I want to get rid of this stupid fear of getting caught being fucked.” Keith breathed as he rose up to give him another wet kiss. “But tomorrow I am fucking you into the ground.”

“Holy shit.” Shiro laughed as Keith tackled him onto the blanket, smothering his neck in kisses and reaching down to jack him off. “Keith, fuck, oh my God.” He half laughed, half gasped, dragging his nails down Keith’s back. “I fucking love when you’re confident like this.”

Keith blushed a bit and tightened his grip on Shiro’s cock just to hear him moan. It was true, he hadn’t really felt like himself lately. All the drama they went through with Shiro getting medicated and with his newfound heat cycle. It had all left him feeling sensitive and vulnerable, but then Shiro took him right out in the open and stripped him down. He felt empowered for the first time since they got to Earth. “Lube?”

Shiro cocked his head towards the basket and Keith reached for it, dipping his hand inside until he felt the plastic tube and pulled it out. 

Keith poured a pool of it into his hand and stroked it over Shiro’s erection, feeling it twitch in his palm at the wetness. “I still want to lay down, so I can be kind of covered by you, but I feel good, Shiro. Really good.”

“Great, Baby.” Shiro grinned, propping himself up on his elbows to kiss him before reaching for the lube himself. “Can I prep you?”

Keith nodded and laid back, his heart palpitating as he opened his legs and looked up at the stars. There was no light pollution out in the desert. He felt so exposed, but with none of the fear for once. He trusted Shiro not to let anything happen to him. 

“Come here.” Shiro cooed as he spread the lube over his fingers, kneeling between Keith’s parted thighs and circling his rim with his index finger. 

“You can start.” Keith sighed, shutting his eyes as Shiro pushed the first finger in. He was still nervous, but it was more of the good kind of nervous instead of the stomach hurting anxiety. He purred as Shiro worked another finger inside him and massaged his prostate, stretching him out, but making sure to pleasure him as much as he could during the foreplay. “Do the third.”

“Already?”

“Mhm.” Keith nodded, lifting his leg up and putting his foot up on Shiro’s shoulder. He could feel a little bit of dust and sand already sticking to his skin, but he didn’t feel dirty as Shiro worked him open. It felt natural for once. 

“You good?”

“Think so.” Keith sighed. “Fuck me.” God that felt good to say without whispering. 

Shiro set Keith’s leg down to avoid hurting him and crawled onto all fours, bending down to kiss Keith’s forehead as he settled his cock between his thighs. 

Keith wrapped his legs around Shiro’s hips and touched their lips together, holding himself up on his elbows as Shiro started to push in. The wind blew against them and he shivered, his skin tingling as Shiro stretched him, warming him against the cold air. If they had done this anywhere else, he would have been panicking, but this was their place. They always found refuge in the desert. He felt Shiro push in and groaned, letting his eyes fall shut as Shiro slowly filled him up. 

“You’re doing so good, Baby.” Shiro murmured and Keith purred. 

“Takashi.” Keith whispered as he pressed their lips together, rolling his hips to let Shiro know he could start moving. 

Shiro kissed him back and started to rock his hips against Keith’s ass, holding himself up on his elbow as his hover hand stroked down Keith’s side. 

“Mm.” Keith hummed against him, pressing his heel into Shiro’s ass. “Faster.”

“Yeah?” 

Keith turned his head to kiss down Shiro’s neck and moaned against his ear when he picked up the pace. He loved when he bottomed out for Shiro, like he was the perfect size to take all of him. 

“I want you to make all the noise you want to out here.”

“Okay.” Keith breathed, his heart beating in his throat almost in perfect time with Shiro’s thrusts. “Fuck.”

Shiro leaned down and rolled his hips at the same time he dragged his tongue over Keith’s ear. It dragged a moan out of his mouth that almost echoed into the night sky. 

“Takashiii.” Keith whined, pushing his hips back against him to get the angle right. The slightest shift could make Shiro’s cock graze hard against his prostate and it made him squirm with pleasure. “Harder.”

Shiro snapped his hips, making Keith draw in a sharp breath. They were already sweating from the dry heat of the desert and the warmth between them. 

“Oh my  _ fuck _ , Takashi.” Keith shivered, his nails digging into Shiro’s shoulders. “Keep going like that.”

“Like this?” Shiro asked as he continued to pump his hips, the pace steady and controlled, aiming up to put pressure on Keith’s prostate.

“ _ Yes _ .” Keith panted. “Fuck me. Holy  _ shit _ .” He buried his face in Shiro’s neck and moaned, his thighs trembling against Shiro’s hips. “Faster.”

Shiro picked up the pace a little more and slid his hover hand between them to jack him off. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Keith gasped, squeezing his eyes shut at the overstimulation. Shiro’s fist vibrated lowly around him, slick with pre-cum. “A-Ahh!” He cried out when Shiro rolled his hips, feeling his orgasm swell. “Takashi!” He let himself gain volume. If they hadn’t been heard already, they had to be safe. He felt safe.

“Keith.” Shiro panted. “Keith, I’m gonna cum.”

“Me too.” Keith’s head tipped back and Shiro took the opportunity to suck on his neck again, easing another whimper from his lips as pleasured swelled all the way to the tips of his toes. “I-I’m almost there, hh!” He squeezed his eyes shut and dug his heels into Shiro’s ass, forcing him in deep on each thrust until it all became too much. “ _ Shiro!” _ He called out when he came, clinging to him with his arms and legs as he spilled onto the metal hand, whimpering all the way through his orgasm. 

Shiro followed close behind, moaning against Keith’s neck as he finished and filled him up, only pulling up to kiss him once he’d finished. 

“I love you.” Keith mumbled against his lips, body tingling from oversensitivity as he worked a hand into Shiro’s hair. “I really love you.”

“I love you too.” Shiro smiled into the kiss before he moved back to pull himself out. “Here, I brought stuff to clean up.”

“You’re always prepared for everything.” Keith sighed, his chest still heaving as he stared up at the stars. He’d just had his brains fucked out in the open desert and nothing bad happened. No one heard them. No one saw them. He just felt safe and secure and loved, even naked.

Shiro handed him a hand towel and Keith cleaned himself off as best he could before tugging his underwear and his shirt back on, making sure to smother Shiro in little kisses. “So I take it you liked that?”

“I loved it.” Keith murmured, nuzzling his nose against Shiro’s. “You should probably put your clothes back on.”

“I’m getting to it.” Shiro gave him a peck on the cheek and reached over for his wine glass. “I’m glad we did this.”

“Me too. I can’t believe I uh… liked it?” Keith laughed. “I thought I might have a panic attack, but… that was awesome.”

“Do you think you’ll feel a little better in the apartment?”

“Let’s try not locking doors maybe.” Keith shrugged. “At least not as religiously as we have been.”

“Sure, Baby.” Shiro took a long sip and gave Keith another wet kiss with alcohol stained lips, letting Keith lick the wine off his tongue as they melted together one more time. “You want to just lay out here for a little while?”

“Yeah.” Keith smiled, running his hand through Shiro’s silver hair again. It was like he was made of moonlight. “Let’s just stay.”

**

It was late by the time they got dressed, returned the ships, and went to bed at home. Keith fell asleep feeling more peaceful than ever which made it easier than usual when he woke up to Shiro squirming next to him. It was milder than his usual episodes.

“Baby, wake up.” Keith cooed as he shook Shiro’s shoulder. “It’s me, it’s Keith. Wake up, it’s just a bad dream.”

Shiro woke with a jolt, knocking Keith’s hand off his cheek when he sat up, but Keith followed him, sitting up as well and wrapping his arms around Shiro’s waist. “Keith?”

“Right here, Shiro.” Keith said before pressing a few kisses to his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just… Nightmare.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Shiro shook his head.

“Okay.” Keith leaned up and planted another kiss on the corner of his mouth, one hand creeping up to run through his hair and soothe him. “You think you can go back to sleep with me or do you need to get your mind off it?”

“I think I can sleep.” Shiro sighed, lying back down and taking Keith with him, letting him nestle right into his arms, head on his chest. “Thanks though.”

“I’m glad you haven’t been having big attacks at night lately. You think the medication’s helping?”

“Yeah.” Shiro grimaced. “I don’t like being on it, but I guess it’s working a little.”

“I feel like we’re both getting a little better.” Keith said, tracing little patterns over Shiro’s abs. “I think you helped me get a little better.”

“I think you helped me get a lot better.” Shiro laughed as he nuzzled his nose against Keith’s hair. “Goodnight again.”

“Goodnight.” Keith smiled, shutting his eyes and relaxing when he felt that Shiro wasn’t trembling. “Wake me up if you need me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started to get more active on twitter? So come say hi! I'm still @nuttinonice


	11. Shoot For The Stars, Fall Short Every Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith needs a life path, Shiro needs a career outside of a classroom, lord help our boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS LATE COLLEGE IS HARD

Monday morning was the first time Keith didn’t wake up early. His alarm hadn’t gone off, but when he did wake up, Shiro had already made his own lunch, so he just stayed in bed. What was there for him to really do anyways? Shiro was an adult. He could get ready in the morning just fine on his own, so Keith pulled the blankets up high and stayed bundled up when Shiro came into the bedroom again to change. 

“I’m heading out, Sleepy Head.” Shiro said when he bent down to kiss Keith’s forehead. “Be productive while I’m gone okay?”

“Mmkay.” Keith mumbled. “Sorry for not getting up.”

“You deserve to sleep in with all the lunches you’ve made for me.” Shiro shrugged. “I’ll be home later, okay?”

“Mmkay.” He repeated, adding a yawn at the end this time. “Have a good day.”

“I will.” Shiro laughed a little as he toed his shoes on and grabbed his bag. “See you later, Babe.”

**

Keith rolled out of bed around noon. Shiro was at work, was there really any reason not to sleep that late? He made himself some coffee and relocated to the couch with a throw blanket. He’d missed so many shows since they’d been gone. It wasn’t  _ super _ unproductive to spend a day catching up. 

He started Breaking Bad and before he knew it, a few hours had gone by. He was already into it and it was too late to get anything done, so why stop? 

He didn’t really feel like he was being lazy until Shiro walked in the door. 

“Keith?” Shiro frowned when he shut the front door. 

“Hey.” He smiled from the couch. “How was work?”

“Fine. Have you been here all day?”

“Um…” Keith glanced around. “Mostly?”

“You’re still in your underwear.”

“I was just tired today.” He said, brushing the crumbs from his Dorito lunch off of the couch. “I’m about to make dinner.”

“Keith, you can’t literally sit on the couch all day.” Shiro sighed as he dropped his bag by the door. “Did you at least think about what we talked about? Did you come up with something to do with your time?”

“Not yet, but-”

“Did you try?”

“Shiro.” Keith groaned. “Leave me alone. I’m gonna figure it out, okay?”

Shiro just rolled his eyes and headed to the bedroom to change. 

“Shiro, wait.” Keith huffed, pushing himself up from the couch and following him. “Are you pissed at me?”

“I’m not pissed, I’m just… I don't know.” Shiro said as he peeled out of his uniform. “You can’t sit on the couch all day. We just talked about this.”

Keith’s shoulders slumped, watching Shiro change into a pair of comfy shorts and a white tank top. He looked adorable. Keith didn’t want to spend the evening fighting with him. “Shiro, I feel like shit every time I try to think about it. I don’t know what I want to do and I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“I want you to do literally anything, Keith.” Shiro said as he put his uniform in the hamper. 

Keith’s heart sank. He didn’t  _ want _ to just lie around, but he was lost and he didn’t know what to do about it. They’d also just had a great weekend together and Shiro was already mad at him again. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, I just want you to make an effort.”

“Takashi.” Keith sighed, walking up and putting his arms around him. “No fighting tonight. Please? I’ll work on it tomorrow, I’ll promise.” He nuzzled his head into the crook of Shiro’s neck and squeezed him. “I’m gonna make dinner and we can do whatever you want.”

“Will you let me help you?” Shiro asked when he caved in and hugged him back. “Let me help you look for things because you either need to find a career, or go back to school, Baby. I can take care of us financially, but this is about your health and your life. Okay?”

“Okay.” Keith mumbled. “Can we wait until after dinner?”

“Sure.” Shiro pressed a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “You know I love you right? Even when you spend like eight hours eating chips in your underwear.”

Keith laughed a little and pressed his lips to Shiro’s neck. “I love you too. Go relax, I’ll have the table set in an hour.”

**

He tried to distract Shiro the moment dinner was over, taking the dishes away to the sink and putting away the leftovers before he tried dragging Shiro to the bedroom. He almost succeeded, but the second he dropped to his knees, Shiro stepped back. 

“Baby, wait, we gotta spend some time looking for stuff for you.”

“Shiro.” Keith pouted, tugging at the waistband of his shorts. “Come on. Later.”

“We keep saying later, let’s just put an hour into it.”

“Shiroooo.” He groaned. 

“I bought something on my lunch break today.” Shiro smiled as he ran his hand through Keith’s hair. “You can see it if you put some effort into finding a life direction.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He let Shiro pull him to his feet. “At least cuddle me or something.”

“Deal.” Shiro shrugged, grabbing his new laptop from the nightstand and leading Keith out to the living room to reluctantly settle onto the couch.

Keith sat next to him and tucked himself under his arm, pulling a throw blanket onto their laps as Shiro opened up the computer. If he was going to have to figure his whole life out, he might as well be cozy doing it. 

“Have you thought about if you prefer work or school?”

“I don’t really prefer either.”

“Okay.” Shiro sighed as he opened up his web browser, pressing a kiss to Keith’s head before pulling up some local job ads and handing it off to him. “Scroll.”

Keith gave another eye roll and started to comb through the ads. It was all fast food and part time stuff, or jobs he had no experience for. “Do you really want me to be a barista?”

“I want you to be whatever you want to be.”

“Shiro, none of this is me.”

“Can I tell you what I’ve been thinking or are you gonna reject ideas?”

“I’m wide open.” Keith sighed, shutting the laptop and tossing it aside, so he could lay his head in Shiro’s lap. “What do you think I should do?”

“You like helping people.”

“I do?”

“You like saving the world and you like taking care of me and helping me and comforting me when I need somebody.” Shiro said as he ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. “You’ve been through a lot and you’re empathetic and you’re really, really caring, Keith. I think you should do something with psychology. I think you could help other people like you helped me.”

Keith felt his face warm. Shiro thought that highly of him?

“What do you think?”

“Um… Maybe? I’d have to go back to school.”

“There’s a community college not far from here. I would pay if you wanted to start in the spring semester.”

Keith shifted around a little and looked up at him. Something about that felt right, like it was something he could do, but it was still a big jump. “Can I think about it?”

“Sure, Baby.” Shiro nodded. “Just don’t take too long okay? We have to get you registered and everything if you’re gonna be taking classes.”

“Shit, yeah. Okay.” Keith breathed. “Just give me a day or two.”

“As long as you don’t spend those days on the couch.” Shiro teased, sliding his hover hand up Keith’s shirt to give his abs a little poke. “You want to see what I bought?”

“Yeah.” Keith smiled, leaning into the touch when Shiro’s hand came to hold his cheek. “Bedroom?”

“Mhm.” Shiro pressed a little kiss to his forehead and nudged him off the couch, keeping a hand on the small of Keith’s back as they walked back to the bedroom together. “It’s pretty small, but I thought you’d like it. I really just bought it for comfort, but uh… it looks good.” He said as he pulled a shopping bag out of his briefcase. “Do you want to try fooling around with the door open?”

“Uhh, maybe we can just leave it unlocked this time.”

“Sure.” Shiro shrugged as Keith shut the door. “Turn around, I want to surprise you.”

“Okay.” Keith laughed, turning to face the door while Shiro got changed. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it sounded like lingerie and he was more than down for that.

“Alright, check it out.”

Keith turned around to see Shiro beaming in a leather thong. It accentuated his bulge for one thing, but Keith needed to see the other side of him. “Turn around.”

Shiro laughed a little and turned, Keith’s eyes glowing at the sight of his ass. “It’s a little silly, but-”

“How the  _ fuck _ have I not paid your ass any attention?” Keith said as he walked over and grabbed it in both hands. “Jesus Christ, Shiro.”

“What?”

“It’s  _ huge _ .”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“No.” Keith shook his head and pressed his lips to Shiro’s neck as he squeezed him. “Can I fuck you? I won’t hold you down or anything.” Shiro shivered against him and Keith grinned, getting up on his toes to drag his tongue over his ear. 

“I really should not let you fuck me after I walked in on your eight hour Doritos fest.” Shiro breathed. 

“You can’t put this on and expect me not to worship your ass.”

“Okay, okay.” Shiro snickered, blushing as he turned around and nuzzled his nose against Keith’s. “Get the lube.”

Keith took the bottle from their nightstand drawer and tossed it on the bed. “Lie down.” 

Shiro did what he was told and laid on his stomach, his cheeks pink as Keith settled between his open legs. 

“You’re always on top of me, or lying down. I never fucking gave this enough attention.” Keith said as he took Shiro’s ass in his hands again, kneading it and watching how the line of the thong just barely covered his hole when he spread him. “Come here.” He whispered when he leaned down, tugging the thong to the side and licking a circle around his rim. 

“Keith!” Shiro cried out, hiding his face in the pillow. 

Keith just shut his eyes and dragged his tongue to his perineum, licking it a few times before pressing his tongue down to massage it a bit. It made Shiro’s thighs tremble. “You look so fucking good.”

Shiro just whimpered in response and rolled his hips, a quiet plea for more. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Takashi.” Keith murmured and his heart warmed at the vulnerability. It felt nice to not be the sensitive one for once. Even if Shiro didn’t belittle him when he was cycling and emotional, he still felt embarrassed. He popped the cap on the lube and slicked his fingers up, so he could slide one inside, using it to stimulate his prostate dead on when he occupied his mouth on his perineum again. 

Shiro was a whimpering mess after the second finger and started to beg after the the third. “Keith, please… N-Not enough, fuck me. Please?”

“But you taste so good.” He grinned. “I like it down here.”

“Keeeeith.”

“Okay.” Keith laughed, sitting back on his heels. “Turn over.”

Shiro flipped onto his back and lifted his hips, so Keith could pull the thong off. His own boxers were already stained with a wet spot, so he used his dry hand to get those off before pushing his fingers back into Shiro, feeling the way his walls clenched around them in desperation. 

“You ready?”

“Yes.” Shiro nodded, eyes half closed as he squirmed in anticipation. “Please?”

“Okay, just one second.” Keith laughed as he removed his fingers and poured some extra lube onto his dick, savoring the desperate look on Shiro’s face when he crawled over him and lined himself up. 

“Keith if you don’t put that in me, I’m literally gonna make you sleep on the couch.”

“You’re so cute when you’re desperate.” Keith smiled even though his red face and glowing eyes were giving away his own desperation. He nudged the head of his erection against Shiro’s hole and slowly pushed in, biting his lip to try and control himself. Shiro was bigger than he was and plenty tough, but it would still hurt him if Keith didn’t take his time. “How’s that?”

“Good.” Shiro sighed, wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders. “Oh Keith…”

Keith pushed in until he bottomed out and shivered. “Tell me when.”

Shiro rolled his hips and leaned up to kiss the corner of Keith’s mouth. “You can move.”

He rocked his hips a little and groaned at the tightness, Shiro’s nails dragging down his back as he started to pull out further and find a rhythm. 

“Keith.” Shiro breathed. “Fuck. Keith.”

Keith turned his head and sucked on Shiro’s neck as he started to snap his hips back and forth, burying his moans in Shiro’s soft skin as he left kiss after kiss, careful not to leave a mark. 

“Hhh!” Shiro gasped when Keith shifted up a bit, hitting his prostate at a better angle. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.” He babbled as he hooked one leg over Keith’s hip, pushing his hips back against him. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Keith sighed as he continued at the new angle, slipping one hand between them to jack him off in time with his thrusts. “You gonna cum for me, Takashi?”

“Yes.” He whimpered. “So fucking close.”

“Already?” Keith teased, but Shiro only nodded, clutching him tighter as he rolled against him. He couldn’t lie, he was pretty close himself, but he was enjoying the whole bravato of topping him. Shiro clenched his muscles and Keith moaned, louder than usual. Huh. He was getting less self conscious about being caught in bed. 

“Are you close?” Shiro gasped. “We did way too much fucking foreplay, I’m right there.”

“I am, Baby.”

“I-I’m gonna cum.” Shiro said in a soft voice, almost like an apology as he tensed more and more underneath him. “Keith, I’m gonna cum.”

“Then cum, Baby.” Keith breathed, bucking his hips a little harder as he felt his own orgasm approach. 

Another wild minute and Shiro was clinging to him like his life depended on it, whimpering and trembling as he came over their bare stomachs. Keith followed close behind, emptying himself into Shiro and holding him until they caught their breath. 

“Jesus.” Keith sighed when he pulled out, watching wide eyed as Shiro’s hole clenched around the emptiness and then started to leak out what Keith had just released. “Holy shit.”

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“I um…” Shiro blushed as he looked up at him. “I know I give you shit sometimes because I want to make sure you stay healthy, but… I mean, I love you. I love you a lot. I don’t want you to think I don’t.”

“Takashi.” Keith’s heart warmed as he crawled back up and laid down next to him. “I know you love me. I love you back just as much.” 

“Okay.” Shiro sighed, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a few sleepy kisses to his lips. “You taste like ass.”

“Shut up.” Keith snorted. “Come shower with me?”

“Mhm.” Shiro snuggled in closer to him. “In just a minute.”

“You’re pretty cute right now.” Keith said, stroking his fingers through Shiro’s hair. It still felt like silk. “Come on. Let’s get my cum out of your ass before we fall asleep.”

**

They fell asleep as peaceful as ever, Keith holding Shiro close, both of them clean from their shower, but they’d been too lazy to put pajamas on. It was the perfect amount of warmth. Keith fell asleep almost instantly, but he woke up at two a.m. to Shiro quivering in his arms. 

“Baby?” He cooed, giving his shoulder a gentle shake. “Baby, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”

Shiro groaned in his sleep and Keith’s heart sank. He looked so upset. 

“Takashi.” He murmured, hugging him tighter. “Wake up, Baby.”

Shiro’s eyes drooped open and he immediately turned over in Keith’s arms, burying his face in his neck and hugging him tighter than ever. “Keith?”

“I’m here, I’m here.”

“It wasn’t as bad as usual, but I hate this.” Shiro swallowed, letting Keith stroke his hair and his back. “I want this shit to go away.”

“It’s okay, we’re in it together.” Keith sat him up and kissed his forehead, reaching over to the nightstand to grab his glass of water. 

“Thanks.” Shiro croaked, taking a long sip before handing it back for Keith to set down. “Sorry for waking you up. I fucking hate that no matter how good of a day we have, I still get nightmares.”

“You can’t help it. It’s okay.

Shiro just sighed and laid back down, putting his head in Keith’s lap, so he’d keep stroking his hair. Huh. Maybe this was the only other thing he was good at besides being a pilot and saving the universe and all that. He was good at taking care of people. 

“Hey Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I want to do what you said. I think I um… I wanna go get a psychology degree.”

“Wait, really?” Shiro lifted his head and beamed. “Keith, that’d be great.”

“You cheered up fast.” 

“I’m proud of you.” He smiled, leaning in to give him a kiss. “You’d be so great at it.”

“Do you want to go watch TV for a bit to get your mind off the nightmare?” Keith asked as Shiro pressed another kiss to his cheek.

“Yeah, for a few minutes.” Shiro nodded as he nuzzled his nose against the spot he’d kissed. 

“Can I make you some tea?”

“You don’t have to spoil me.”

“Sure I do.” Keith shrugged, already climbing out of bed. “I’ll get it started.”

**

Keith eased Shiro back to sleep and woke up with him in the morning, making his favorite for breakfast, packing his lunch, and smothering him in a few kisses before letting him head for the door. 

“So when I get back, I want you to have it figured out when we need to register you for spring semester okay?” Shiro asked, combing his fingers through Keith’s hair as he planted a goodbye kiss on his forehead. 

“I will.” Keith promised, turning his head to press a more heated kiss to the side of Shiro’s neck. “Thanks for helping me figure things out. I want to do this.”

“I’m glad, Baby.” Shiro grinned. “I gotta go, but I’ll be home early okay?”

“Okay.” Keith’s heart warmed a little. Things were back on track. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Keith watched him leave and couldn’t help the smile on his face when the door shut. He had something to do with himself now. Something that, in the long run, would really help Shiro and people like him. If people could  _ understand _ mental illnesses like PTSD, things would be so much easier for the person he loved and that was motivation enough to start his career over. 

He worked out again for the first time in three weeks, holding onto the coffee table edge and doing push up after push up until his abs ached, squatting until his ass was finally sore from something other than the bedroom. He went until his eyes glowed hard and his body felt spent then took a shower and got everything shaved. Shiro deserved to come home to someone who wasn’t covered in Dorito dust at the very least. 

He sat down at their laptop while his hair dried and got the registration forms printed. The community college was only a mile from the Garrison. He could walk there easily and he got his associate's early before the Garrison kicked him out, so he could graduate in two years. Maybe even less if he took on a heavy course load. It would be hard, but he had Shiro to support him. He could do this. 

He was just getting the numbers together on tuition and other fees when his phone buzzed. Shit. “Shiro?” He answered. 

“H-Hey um… Could you come meet me in my classroom? I-I’m not having a panic attack, but I think I’m about to and I have a class in like thirty minutes, so I-I can’t freak out right now.”

“I’m coming.” Keith said, keeping the phone to his ear as he ran to the bedroom to pull on some decent jeans and slip a shirt on. “What happened?” He asked when he toed on his shoes. 

“I’m still working with Commander Holt on giving the Garrison as much Galra intel as possible and just handing over everything we learned. We got a lot of video footage from the lions and our helmets that we’re uploading, so the battle tactics can be studied and stuff and I was working on that with Iverson and Matt during my lunch break a-and um… I-It was just hard seeing a lot of that footage from my helmet? When we were on Galra ships? I just…”

Keith heard him shudder. “I’ll be right there. Take some deep breaths okay?” He grabbed his keys and headed out the door, jogging towards the stairs. “You’re never going back to those places. You’re safe.”

“I-I know, I just… I mean, you know.”

“I know.” Keith said, keeping his ear to the phone as he rushed down the stairs and crossed through the lobby of the apartment complex into the actual Garrison. “Hey I’m gonna be there in two minutes. Are you okay?”

“Your voice helps.” 

“I’m right here.” Keith said, his breathing strained as he ran through the complex, dodging cadets and commanders alike and - for once - not giving a fuck about the looks he got. “I’m around the corner, okay?”

“Okay. I-I’ll see you in a second.” 

Keith hung up the phone just to sprint around the corner and fling himself into Shiro’s classroom, kicking the door shut before he doubled over to catch his breath. “Holy shit.” He breathed. “Sorry. I kind of ran here.” He glanced up and saw Shiro at his desk, shoulders slumped and eyes watery. “Are you okay?”

“Can I have a hug or something?” Shiro laughed a little, his voice a heavy like he was trying not to cry. 

“Come here.” Keith said as he hurried up to him, walking behind his desk and pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay. I got you.” 

“Thanks for coming so quickly.” Shiro sighed as he hugged him back. “I just don’t want to lose it before this next class. That troubled kid is there and he already doesn’t respect me at all.”

“I’m sorry, Takashi.” Keith said, rubbing his back and pressing his lips into Shiro’s silver hair. “I know it’s hard to be around that stuff all the time, but you’re gonna be such a good mentor for it, Baby. You’ve been through so much and I know all those cadets look up to you. Yeah?”

“You’re way too sweet.” Shiro said as he pulled out of the hug, standing up and keeping his hands on Keith’s waist. “Can you just stay with me until it’s time for me to teach? Are you busy?”

“No.” Keith laughed. “I did do the stuff you asked me to do though.”

“And you showered.” Shiro grinned, running his hand through Keith’s wet hair. “You look all handsome when you get your post workout glow.”

“You can tell?”

“Literally, your eyes stay glowing a little bit after you exercise.” Shiro smiled as he nuzzled his nose against Keith’s. “Come here.”

Keith leaned in for the kiss and shut his eyes, happy to help get his mind off of things when the door opened and his eyes flew back open, jerking away from Shiro to see a freshman cadet staring wide-eyed at them. “Shit.” He watched the panic come over Shiro’s face as he opened his mouth to say something to the student, but the cadet was out like a flash.

“ _ Fuck _ .” Shiro swore when the door shut, sitting back down at his desk and holding his head in his hands. “I’m a fucking idiot, oh my God  _ fuck _ .”

“Was that one of your students?” Keith asked, fixed in place as he stared at the door. His mouth was dry and he had the overwhelming urge to crawl into a hole and hide. Someone had walked in on them. It may not be anywhere near as scary, serious, or mortifying as the time that had traumatized him, but it still made his face turn red and his stomach hurt. 

“Yeah.” Shiro swallowed. “I’m a fucking idiot. These students are never gonna respect me, all I do is break down in front of them, or get caught fooling around in my own classroom. What’s wrong with me?”

“It was just a kiss.” Keith frowned, trying to hide the smidgen of guilt that he was at least partially responsible for this. 

“Keith, fuck, we can’t act like this anymore. It’s not professional and it’s gonna get me in trouble.”

Keith raised his eyebrows. “You kissed me. You asked me to come here to comfort you.”

“I know, but-”

“But what? This is my fault?”

“No, it’s not I just…” Shiro’s mouth wobbled and he bit down on his lower lip. “I’m sorry. Don’t hate me, I’m freaking out.”

Keith took a deep breath and sat on the side of his desk. “I just don’t want to fight. What’s the worst that can happen? I mean, it was embarrassing, but we weren’t doing anything wrong. The kid just probably felt awkward and everyone will pretend it never happened.”

“I don’t know.”

Keith looked towards the door with anxious butterflies. He was desperate to leave and retreat back into privacy, but he wasn’t going to leave Shiro to work himself into a panic attack. He turned back towards him to try and find some comforting words to say, but the door opened to Commander Iverson. 

“Shiro.” He said, deadpan. “Why did a cadet just run out of this hallway like he just witnessed a crime?”

Shiro winced. “I’m sorry, Sir. It was just a kiss. Keith came to visit me on my break and he just happened to walk in while-”

“That’s highly inappropriate.”

“It was chaste I promise, it was just-”

“Shirogane. No one respects you more than me.” Iverson sighed. “But if we continue to have these issues with professionalism and your ability to conduct yourself here, we’ll have to make some changes.”

“Understood.” Shiro swallowed. “There won’t be any more issues.”

Iverson nodded and shut the door, leaving Shiro to bang his head on the desk. 

“Takashi, I’m sorry.” Keith frowned, swallowing his anxiety and reaching over to rub his back. “Hey, are you okay? Because I think I should get out of here.I don’t want you to get in any more trouble because of me.”

“Keith, no that wasn’t because of you at all.” Shiro said as he lifted his head. “I’m sorry for being a dick. I know getting walked in on probably freaked you out even if it was just a little kiss.”

“Yeah.” He grimaced. “But I’m more worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m just stressed, but you can head home. Did you figure out registration?”

“I actually did.” Keith grinned. “Want to help me after work?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled right back. 

“I’ll make you something nice for dinner and uh…” Keith glanced towards the door just to make absolutely sure before he kissed Shiro’s forehead, staying close to him to whisper. “I’ll get your mind off everything after. Sound good?”

“You’re the fucking best.” Shiro breathed. “I love you. See you later okay?”

“See you.” Keith said, letting his hand linger on Shiro’s back for a moment. “Love you too.”

**

Keith was pretty sure he’d created the biggest cooking learning curve in history as he plated mashed potatoes and steak. Sure, it wasn’t anything super hard to make, but it had been a week since he’d burned anything. 

He set the table with two glasses of Shiro’s favorite wine and put on the short shorts he liked to sleep in, but that he knew always made Shiro stare at his ass - which was still sore as fuck.  _ Damn _ . Sex might be a little rough tonight. 

Keith was just washing the dishes, not wanting to have to worry about chores for the night, when he heard the door open. “In the kitchen, Babe!” He called out. “Dinner’s on the table, did you-” He turned around with wet hands to see Shiro standing in the kitchen doorway with pink eyes. “Hey, what happened?”

“There were complaints.” Shiro said as he set his briefcase down. “Some from the cadets themselves, some from their parents. Iverson didn’t tell me until today because he didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but…”

“Complaints about what?” Keith glared. “What the fuck? You’re the best person to teach a class to people who want to be pilots, how the hell are people complaining?”

“They don’t like that there’s a gay teacher. It doesn’t matter if I fought aliens, or if I hold every flight record, they’re apparently throwing a fit. Two students dropped my class because of their parents.” Shiro huffed. “Because of their fucking parents, Keith. Those two cadets are having to choose whole different career routes because their parents can’t let them take an introductory flight course with a gay instructor.”

“Takashi…” Keith walked up and put his hands on his shoulders. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. People are bigots. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good teacher.”

“Keith, kids are losing opportunities because I’m the one teaching their class.”

“Can’t you talk to the parents?’

Shiro shook his head. 

“I’m sorry.” Keith sighed. “Do you want to eat? I moved the nice stuff we had up to tonight. Figured you could use it.”

“Yeah.” Shiro gave a tired nod before taking his seat at the table. He hadn’t taken a glance at Keith, but who could blame him? He’d had a shit day and Keith wasn’t going to hold being in a bad mood against him. 

Keith sat across from him and tried not to seem excited. He knew Shiro had a rough day, but he was happy to give him a blowjob and snuggle up with him to deal with the community college stuff. He felt silly about it, but he was over the moon to get the ball rolling. He finally had something to do that he  _ cared _ about. He didn’t feel so lost anymore and he wanted to share that with Shiro. He sipped at the wine and took a few bites before glancing up to see Shiro shifting his potatoes around. “Oh shit, do you not like it?” 

“The food’s fine.” Shiro shrugged. 

“Shiro.” Keith’s heart sank as he looked across at him. “I know you’re upset, but what can I do to make you feel better? I want to help.”

Shiro just shook his head. 

“What?”

“Keith.” He sighed. 

“ _ What? _ ” Keith repeated, pushing his eyebrows together and setting his fork down. 

“Keith, no one treated me like this when I was a pilot.” Shiro grimaced. “This wasn’t an issue before. People looked up to me and respected me and it was enough to trump all the homophobia, but now I’m just a fucking classroom teacher. That’s not enough to overcome the adversity.”

Keith felt the black hole in his chest open again, sucking all the excitement and the eagerness into it. Shiro wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy because of him. He looked fucking miserable right then and what hurt was that he was being honest. “I thought… I-I thought we worked this out.” Keith swallowed. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro said, running his hand through his hair and wincing when his fingers caught a knot. “I’m trying to stick this out and I don’t  _ hate _ it, but fuck. Keith, it’s so hard. This isn’t the career I worked my whole life to have.”

Keith’s mouth wobbled, but he was quick to bite down on it. “Takashi…”

“I’m so sorry.” Shiro said, his eyes welling as he looked back at Keith over the dinner table. “Keith, you’re the most important thing to me. I-I would never go back to piloting after promising you I wouldn’t, but I don’t know what to do.” 

“Do you hate me?”

“Of course not.” Shiro swallowed a lump in his throat. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I just can’t stand not being honest with you.”

“I have to be the worst partner ever.” Keith said, blinking his eyes to drive back the tears, but he knew they glowed when he was emotional and that was a dead giveaway. “I didn’t want to make you give anything up, or be unhappy, I just…” His tears got the best of him as he sniffled. “Takashi, I can’t shake the fear that you’re gonna die if you go back up there.”

“I won’t die, Keith. Garrison missions aren’t like Voltron. I’m not going out to fight some alien war, I’d be going on research missions.”

Keith’s chest ached. “Kerberos was a research mission.”

“You know that’s not fair.” Shiro shook his head. “Kerberos was before we knew about the universe, about the Galra. Now we know and we have the technology to conduct safer missions that would avoid hostile alien contact and-”

“Takashi, you  _ know _ that it’s not safe. No matter what.” Keith sniffled, scraping his chair back and standing up. “I won’t let you die again and I can’t have this argument twice.” He said as he wiped his eyes. The conversation had nearly broken his heart the first time. Why was space so much more important to Shiro than he was? They’d been through  _ everything _ together. He would give up absolutely anything to be with Shiro, but no matter how hard he was trying to make their apartment a perfect home, make himself the perfect partner, Shiro still needed more. He wasn’t enough. 

“Keith-”

“I need to think about what to say, okay?” Keith hiccupped, still fighting back tears with all his might. “I’m gonna go crash somewhere else.”

“Baby.” Shiro stood up from his chair, but Keith shook his head and walked back. 

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for needing more than I’m giving you.” Keith said as he fought to swallow the lump in his throat. “Just give me some time to think because I have no idea what to even say to you right now. Okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro agreed although it looked like it broke his heart to say it. Still, Keith couldn’t stay and have this conversation. He’d end up bawling, begging Shiro to stay, making him swear all over again not to leave him on Earth for some mission that he’d probably catch his death on. 

Keith shut himself in the bedroom and blinked back tears as he changed back into his jeans and grabbed his jacket. Was he a horrible person? He really thought that Shiro would be happy teaching young pilots. He loved to help and mentor. He could still fly, just on Earth doing training drills. He’d always loved those too. 

He sniffled and went to the bathroom to grab his meds, tossing them in a duffel bag with his toothbrush and something to sleep in. He didn’t want to leave Shiro hanging, but he needed to get his head on straight. If he let himself spiral, he’d only hurt Shiro more than he already had. 

Keith slung the bag over his shoulder and toed on his shoes before taking a deep breath to walk back out. “I’m not mad at you, I just need to think. Okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro said from the kitchen doorway, his face ridden with hurt as his eyes drifted to the duffel bag. . 

“I packed your lunch ahead of time. It’s in the fridge, so take it in the morning.” Keith said before his voice started to waver and he turned around to leave. Pidge would be honest with him at least. She could tell him if he was being a monster holding Shiro back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual comments are hella appreciated!!


	12. Worlds Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith crept back home that same night, his head held low as he walked back up to their apartment door at one a.m. Pidge was right and he didn’t want to run away, but he’d sleep on the couch regardless.
> 
> At least that was the plan until he walked in and saw it was taken. “Shiro?”
> 
> “Keith?” Shiro looked up from his place on the couch, his hands holding a shaky cup of tea. All the lights were on.
> 
> “Hey, what’s going on?” Keith asked, concern washing over him as he dropped his bag by the door and rushed to him. “What’s wrong?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is laaaate aaaa!! didnt mean to leave yall hanging!!

“Has he seemed unhappy?” Pidge asked, tapping away on a data pad while Keith petted Kosmo on the foot of her bed. She was positioned at her desk as always, facing away to give Keith the privacy of blinking back his tears. 

“No.” Keith swallowed. “That’s what makes me feel so bad. I mean, he would have some bad days, but I thought he was happy overall. I didn’t know I was making him so miserable.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Pidge sighed, swiveling around in the chair and kicking her feet up on the side of the bed. 

“Am I a horrible person?” Keith asked, his eyes glassy as he looked up from Kosmo. “I can’t let him get hurt, Pidge. It’s not just that I can’t go through it, it’s that I can’t let something happen to him. If he goes back to being a pilot and he-” The word got caught in his throat. “A-and he dies, Pidge, it would be all my fault. I can’t let him get hurt.”

“I understand.” Pidge grimaced. “He’s had too many close calls. I don’t think that you’re wrong for saying he should settle down, but do you think you guys could find some kind of middle ground? It makes sense that someone like Shiro wouldn’t be satisfied just teaching a class. He loves adventure as much as he loves helping people and guiding them. I think he needs both. It’s sort of what broke him and Adam up.”

Keith’s mouth wobbled. “Shiro hates Adam.” He croaked. “Is he gonna hate me?”

“Keith.” Her eyebrows pushed together in concern. “Hey, Shiro would never hate you. He  _ loves _ you.”

“He won’t if I keep killing his dreams like this.” Keith sniffed. “Is it selfish that I just want to be enough for him? Like all I want to do is be the perfect partner. He did everything for me and I’m trying so hard to do everything I can for him, but it’s not enough.”

“Hey.” She sighed, standing up and moving to sit across from him on the bed. “Shiro needs more than just love in his life. There’s nothing wrong with you and you support him more than anything. He just needs his career ambitions filled too.”

“How are they not fulfilled already?” Keith choked. “He’s a  _ hero _ . He holds every record, he’s seen the entire universe. Why does he have to keep putting himself in danger?” The tears got the best of him and he put a hand over his mouth, humiliated. He wasn’t even near his cycle. There was no excuse this time for him to be so sensitive and emotional. “He’s never safe.” He hiccupped. “Pidge, he’s in so much pain when he has those nightmares and those flashbacks, how the fuck can I love him and tell him that I support him if he wants to go off into space and get traumatized all over again?”

“Holy shit, okay, okay, shh.” Pidge said when he started to cry, nudging Kosmo’s head out of his lap and leaning over to hug him. “Hey, hey, take some deep breaths.”

“What am I supposed to do?” He croaked. “What if he’s up in space and has a flashback? I can’t be there to help him. Even if I did want to pilot again, the Garrison doesn’t need to send two on every mission a-and I’m gonna be starting school and-”

“You’re what?” She raised her eyebrows. “Keith, you’re going back to school?”

“Huh?” He sniffled as she pulled back. “Yeah, I’m only two years shy of my degree, so… I thought I’d go study psychology and maybe become someone who can help Shiro better and people like him.”

“Keith that’s so great!” She beamed. “We can have study sessions! I  _ love _ psychology, you’re gonna be so great at that!”

“Thanks.” He managed a weak smile. “Doesn’t really help me know what to do about Shiro though.”

“I think you should go back to him.” She shrugged. “You have a tendency to freak out and run away when things get tough between you two. I mean not really run away, you always go right back to him, but I think you just need to suck it up and talk it through with him. If he’s truly unhappy and he can’t be unless he flies, I think you’re gonna have to let him, or find some kind of middle ground.”

“God, it makes my stomach hurt.” Keith grimaced. “Can I tell you something?” He felt selfish admitting it, but part of why he was so scared to let Shiro go now was because of his cycles. What was he going to do without Shiro to take care of him for those couple of days every month? A mission at the minimum could be three months. That was three cycles on his own. 

“Sure, what haven’t I heard from you yet?”

His eyes lit up with the embarrassment. 

“Oh shit it’s something good isn’t it?” She laughed a bit. “Keith, you can tell me anything. It’s fine.”

“I um…” He huffed and cleared his throat. “Don’t judge me, okay?”

“It’s me, Keith. Just say it.”

“Ugh.” He sighed. “I started going through these gross things called cycles? I-It’s a Galra thing and it means um… O-Once a month, I get really emotional for a few days and-”

“Holy shit do you get an alien period? Do you want to buy tampons together?!” Pidge beamed before Keith waved his arms to stop her.

“No!” He exclaimed. “ _ No. _ I just… I-I get this thing where I like... “ His face turned bright red. “I get really feverish and my whole body hurts unless Shiro… takes care of me. You know what I mean?”

She blinked at him.

“Like sex.” He mumbled and suddenly Pidge was blushing too. 

“ _ Oh _ .”

“Yeah.”

“So if Shiro was gone-”

“Yeah.”

“And you’d be-”

“Yup.”

“Well that sucks.”

“Uh huh.” Keith nodded his head in shame and watched as Kosmo hopped off the bed and curled up on the floor. “It’s… humiliating. I can’t really take care of it on my own even with… assistance.” He ran his hand over his face in embarrassment. “This is gross as fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Hm.” Pidge put a hand on her chin, the signature Holt look when one of them got an idea. “You know, maybe I could invent something for you. Something that would maybe help you relieve it if Shiro wasn’t around?”

“PIDGE!” Keith’s eyes could have lit up the whole room. “You are not making me a sex toy. I will literally set myself on fire. I’ll let Shiro pilot just so he’ll go to space and I never have to tell him we had this conversation.”

“Come on Keith, be sex positive.” She rolled her eyes. “I could make something pretty easily probably. No one would have to know.”

He shook his head. “Pidge, I’d literally die.”

“Sounds like you’d die too if you got stuck here while Shiro went away during one of those cycles.”

Keith cringed. “Shit, so am I really letting him go back to being a pilot? Going out there?”

“Talk to him and see.” She shrugged. “I think you guys are gonna have to find a compromise.”

“This sucks.” Keith sighed. “I just want him to be happy.”

“I know you do, Bud.” She said, reaching over to pat his shoulder. “So… sex toy invention?”

“ _ Pidge _ .”

**

Keith crept back home that same night, his head held low as he walked back up to their apartment door at one a.m. Pidge was right and he didn’t want to run away, but he’d sleep on the couch regardless. 

At least that was the plan until he walked in and saw it was taken. “Shiro?”

“Keith?” Shiro looked up from his place on the couch, his hands holding a shaky cup of tea. All the lights were on.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Keith asked, concern washing over him as he dropped his bag by the door and rushed to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro croaked, his eyes wet as Keith sat down next to him and reached a hand up to stroke through his hair, combing his fingers through the silver strands while Shiro leaned into the touch. “I just had a nightmare.”

Keith’s heart plummeted. Shiro had been afraid and all by himself because Keith had left him. He’d left him alone to cope with a fucking panic attack. “Takashi, I’m so sorry. I never should have left you. H-How bad was it?”

“We need to buy new sheets.”

“Oh Baby, did you rip them again?” Keith watched as Shiro shook a little harder, his face turning bright red, and he got the message of what had happened. “Don’t worry about it for a second.” He said, leaning in to kiss Shiro’s forehead. “Do you need to stay up? Do you want me to try and help you get to bed?”

Shiro just sniffled and set his mug down on the coffee table, leaning over to hug Keith and bury his face in his neck. “Don’t we need to talk?”

“That can wait until you’re feeling better.” Keith murmured, stroking his back and pressing kiss after kiss into his hair. “What was so bad about this one?”

“I-I remembered the torture.” Shiro swallowed. “When they took me. Before they cloned me a-and… a-and killed me and it just felt real all over again and I-” He trailed off into a sob and Keith tightened his hold.

“Come here.” Keith cooed as he squeezed. “You’re safe now. You’re right here with me and those fuckers are never,  _ ever _ gonna hurt you again.” He felt Shiro tremble against him and sighed. How could he consent to letting him even face the possibility of running into the Galra out in space again? “Do you want me to go do the laundry?”

Shiro stayed quiet and Keith took the hint, pulling back to give him one more kiss before he left for the bedroom. He took what Shiro had tossed in the hamper, the wet sheets and his pajamas and put them in a washing machine without a word before redressing the bed with what they had. He’d buy a few extra sets of the sheets Shiro liked. Just in case. 

“How are you feeling?” Keith asked once he’d put his pajamas on and walked back out to the sofa again. 

“Better.” Shiro breathed. “Thanks for coming home. I didn’t want to call you when you needed space.”

“Takashi, you can always call me.” Keith said, his heart breaking at the hoarseness of Shiro’s voice. How hard had he been crying? He sat back down next to him and brushed the wetness away from under his eyes with his thumb. “Hey I don’t care if we’re having the worst fight we’ve ever had, if you have a nightmare, or a flashback, or a panic attack, I will  _ always _ come and take care of you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled a little. “Thanks, Keith.”

“Of course.” Keith reached up to stroke his hair again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just feel horrible for hurting you earlier.” Shiro sighed. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re making me unhappy. You’re the best thing in my life and the whole reason I wake up every morning. I just miss my career, but I’ll work this out. I’ll keep teaching and I’ll find a way to stay passionate about it.”

“Shiro.” Keith grimaced. “Look, I talked things through with Pidge a little bit and if you’re really, really miserable not being able to pilot then… Maybe I’ll be okay if you flew or went on missions. It would be really, really hard for me and I know you know why, but I can’t live with myself if I’m holding you back.”

“Keith…” Shiro’s eyes widened. “Do you really think I could? I don’t want to do that if you would just be miserable. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Maybe if you um… Took some smaller, safer,  _ shorter _ missions that had little to no risk, I could… I-I could deal.”

“Oh my God, Keith.” Shiro breathed as he lunged forward to hug him. “Keith, thank you. Thank you so fucking much. I swear to God I won’t let anything happen to me out there. I’ll go on the tiniest missions they have. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Thank you.”

Keith’s heart sank at the concession of keeping Shiro permanently safe on Earth, but he hugged him back regardless. “As long as you swear to be safe.”

“I do. Of course, I do.”

“Because you know if you encountered the Galra I’d be launching out there in Black to save you myself, right?”

“I do.” Shiro laughed, pressing a few happy little kisses to Keith’s neck. “Thank you so much, Keith. I love you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Keith was queasy, but it was good to see Shiro so happy. “I love you too, Takashi.” He said as he kissed Shiro’s forehead. He might be conceding, but he had to trust Shiro to keep himself safe if he went on a mission. He’d have to stop being selfish and deal with it. Even if he’d bonded to Shiro and being away from him could be painful, and even if it was risky, he couldn’t bare making him unhappy anymore anyways. 

“Hey.” Keith cooed, running one hand down Shiro’s back. “You need a little help getting back to sleep?”

“You don’t have to do anything, Baby.”

“I want to. I feel bad for walking out.” Keith said, nudging Shiro’s head up and giving him a kiss. He knew he could probably use a little confidence boost. “I fixed the bed. You want to come back with me?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled, his cheeks pink as Keith stood him up and brought him back to their bedroom. It was a tenser night than usual, so he closed and locked the door before he peeled Shiro out of his tank top and gray sweats, leaving him in just a pair of tight briefs. “Sorry. I usually don’t wear dorky underwear when we’re gonna uh… You know.”

“I think they’re cute.” Keith grinned, hooking his finger around the waistband and pushing them down to fall at Shiro’s ankles before he nudged him back to sit on the side of the bed. “Just relax, okay?” He went to the nightstand and grabbed a hair tie, pulling his mullet back into a ponytail to keep it from getting messy in the process. “What?” He blinked when he caught Shiro staring, his cock already half hard in interest. 

“You never put your hair up.”

“Oh, it’s gotten longer lately. Too dorky?”

Shiro shook his head. 

“Cool.” Keith smiled and came to kneel on the floor in front of him, parting his lover’s legs and feeling his eyes warm and glow at the sight of him. He loved how Shiro got when he let himself be pampered. He loved how his cock flushed with his cheeks and how pink it looked, how Shiro’s thighs got goosebumps when Keith ran his hands over them, always pressing down to feel how hard the muscle was. 

“I love you.” Shiro whispered as he moved his hand into Keith’s hair. “Seriously. Keith. More than anything.”

“I love you too.” Keith answered, grinning up at him as he moved in closer. “Now shut your eyes and let me make you feel good for a little while.” He took Shiro’s cock in his hand and angled it towards his mouth, relishing in the whimper that fell from Shiro’s lips when he sucked on the head. Shiro had just showered, so it already just tasted like skin, like water, and Keith wanted to fill his mouth with it.

“Mmmm.” He purred around it, letting his eyes fall shut as he eased himself down all the way to just an inch shy of the base. His gag reflex had gotten tamer, allowing Shiro to slide almost all the way in to him, down his throat. 

“Keith.” Shiro breathed, tightening his hold on his hair. 

Keith just swallowed around it and opened his eyes to look up at him as he bobbed his head back and forth. He could worry about everything when he was done with this. Right then, he just knew that he’d left Shiro alone when he’d needed him. He left him for what seemed like it must have been the worst nightmare yet and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to do everything he could to make sure Shiro went back to bed feeling loved and feeling confident. 

He licked up everything Shiro leaked, making a show of pulling back, letting pre-cum drip onto his tongue before resuming the sloppy back and forth that made Shiro whine and whimper for him. 

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro gasped. “Baby.” His thighs tensed against Keith’s shoulders. “Holy  _ fuck _ .”

Keith resisted the urge to grin and pushed through to get his lips around that final inch, holding Shiro fully in his mouth and throat before swallowing around him. He wished he could set the strangled moan Shiro let out as his ringtone, pulling back a little to suck hard and drain every drop when Shiro shivered and started to cum, warm spurts right onto Keith’s tongue that he drank for him, looking up the whole time. 

“Jesus, Keith. Remember when you’d never done that before?”

“Seems like a lifetime ago.” Keith smiled when he pulled off and wiped his mouth, standing up straight and planting a wet kiss on Shiro’s forehead. “You feel a little better?”

“A lot better.” Shiro breathed. 

Keith turned his head and pressed a kiss to his cheek, then a few down his neck, his hands caressing his shoulders and down his biceps, using every little touch to make him feel secure again. “I’m never going to walk out like that again, okay? Even if we’re fighting, or we’re mad at each other. It’s not fair to you.”

“Keith, I’m not gonna hold you hostage.”

“But we never know when you’re going to have a nightmare, or a panic attack, or a flashback, or anything. I need to be here.” He had no clue how he was going to be there if Shiro went to space, but that was a problem for another day. Right then, it was eating him alive that he’d left Shiro alone to be terrified. “Think you can sleep?”

“Don’t you want me to take care of you?”

Keith shook his head. “That was just for you, Takashi. Let’s get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled and blushed when Keith went to get his pajamas from the dresser. Keith didn’t miss the sappy look that always came across his boyfriend’s face when he played caretaker. It was a look that meant the world to him. 

Keith let him get re-dressed in some clean boxers and a t-shirt before shutting the lights off and crawling into bed, wrapping his arms right around him and burrowing his face into his neck. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Shiro answered, pressing another kiss into Keith’s hair. “Thanks for all of this. For everything.”

“Anything for you to be happy.” Keith said although it made his chest tighten. “Sleep tight, Takashi.”

**

Keith woke up to his alarm in an empty bed. He figured Shiro had probably just gotten up a little early to make his own coffee or something, but he could hear music playing in the kitchen. Did he smell bacon?

“Shiro?” Keith yawned as he padded out of the bedroom, rubbing his arms to avoid the chilly air as he approached the kitchen. 

Shiro was making eggs and bacon, still in his pajamas, his phone playing the morning radio. “Hey.” He grinned when he saw Keith. 

“Uh, hey? You have to work today. I can make breakfast.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You don’t owe me something.”

“Baby, I know how big a deal is for you to let me fly at all and I kind of ruined your whole buzz about deciding to go to college, so the least I can do is bacon.” He slid  it all onto a plate and walked over to press a warm kiss to Keith’s cheek. “I love you.”

Keith wanted to cringe at the thought of him flying, but he pushed it out of his head. He couldn’t keep making Shiro feel guilty. “I love you too.” He sighed, leaning in to him instead to indulge in a sleepy morning hug. It recharged his emotional battery enough to keep him going. “Aren’t you exhausted after last night?”

“Sure, but you always get up early for me when you don’t have to. I might as well make you breakfast sometimes.”

“Still.” Keith nuzzled his head into the crook of Shiro’s neck. He wished he could just lock all the doors and windows and keep Shiro safe in their home for eternity. Even letting him go off to work felt painful now. What if he didn’t have much longer with him?”

“You okay?”

“Fine.” Keith nodded as he pulled away. “I’ll make your lunch then I’ll eat, okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro smiled and he looked so happy that Keith felt his heart melt a tiny bit. 

“Come here.” Keith sighed, admitting defeat to the adorableness as his boyfriend as he leaned in to give him a proper kiss, wrapping an arm around his neck and swiping his tongue over Shiro’s bottom lip. “You can’t be this cute in the mornings.”

“Keith.” Shiro laughed, his face flushed. 

“I’m glad you’re happy.” Keith smiled, nuzzling his nose against Shiro’s. “Want me to come visit you for your lunch break?”

“Actually, uh…” Shiro bit his lip. “I don’t want to be too unprofessional again. I have trouble not kissing you when you’re there.”

“Oh.” Keith blinked. Was he not allowed to visit Shiro at work anymore? He loved going to see him.

“I’m sorry.” Shiro said, planting a kiss on Keith’s forehead and giving his shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll make up for it when I get home okay? How about I cook dinner tonight and we’ll work on your college app?”

“Okay.” Keith smiled a bit, ignoring how the small rejection had tugged at his heart. “Let me make your lunch and we’ll do breakfast.” 

He put Shiro’s favorites together into a lunchbox and sat down at the table with him for breakfast. Shit, Shiro’s cooking skills were still miles ahead of his own. Maybe if he was doing a better job, Shiro wouldn’t be so eager to leave Earth. 

“Are you sure something’s not wrong?” Shiro blinked at him from across the table, his eyes wide and concerned. “Are you upset about not coming to visit me? Shit, that was so mean. I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.”

“Huh? Takashi, no.” Keith sighed. Fuck, could he do anything besides make Shiro feel bad? “You’re fine, I’m just tired is all. I’m not mad.” Shiro’s eyes still looked worried when he looked up at him and it made him feel even worse. 

“You can come see me during lunch. I didn’t mean to-”

“Shiro, it’s  _ fine _ .” Keith insisted, but it came out harsher than he meant it to. He didn’t miss the slight flinch in Shiro’s expression. They were having such a good morning, why was he fucking it all up? “I-I’m gonna go lay out your clothes.” 

“You don’t have to do that, I can-”

“It’s fine.” Keith said as he got up and headed for the bedroom. He needed to shut up before he made everything worse. 

He laid Shiro’s clothes out on the bed and went to take the dirty laundry to the washer when Shiro came into the bedroom and shut the door behind him. “Keith, what’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on.” He glared as he picked the clothes off the floor and put them in the hamper. 

“Keith.” Shiro said and the wobble in his voice broke his heart. 

“Fuck, I just…” He dropped the laundry and sighed when he turned around to face Shrio’s puppy dog eyes. “I need more time to get used to the fact that you’re gonna leave and go fly again and I feel like maybe if I was doing a better job at being a good boyfriend, maybe you wouldn’t feel so desperate to go.”

“What?” Shiro’s eyes widened. “Keith, you do  _ everything _ for me. What else could you possibly do?”

“I don’t know, cook better.” He mumbled, sitting down on the side of the bed. “Not ditch you and go hide at Pidge’s when you have nightmares.”

Shiro walked over to sit next to him and pulled Keith straight into a hug, squeezing tight with his full arm while the hover hand stroked his back. “Keith, you’re more than I could have ever asked for. I love you with  _ everything _ I have and I never want you to think that I’m going to space because I don’t want to be here with you.”

“I just wish I could make you stay.” Keith swallowed, his eyes burning as he hid his face in Shiro’s neck. “I-I don’t mean to keep starting the same argument over and over. I just wish I could.”

“Keith, I need you to know that  _ nothing _ on Earth would be able to fulfill the need I have to keep being a pilot, okay? I-It has nothing to do with how much I love you, or how amazing you are, I just…” Shiro sighed. “I need to do it for myself. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not enough. You’re everything.”

“Are you sure?”

“ _ Yes _ .” Shiro insisted, pulling back, so he could tilt Keith’s face up and give him a proper kiss on the lips. “Come see me at lunch today. I want to see you.”

“Takashi.” Keith rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Will you help me with my course registration?”

“Of course.” Shiro smiled back, pressing his lips to Keith’s forehead. “I’m so proud of you for going to school, Baby. We’ll get everything done for it today, okay?”

“Okay.” Keith brushed, leaning into him one more time to rest his head on his shoulder. “Sorry for being so dramatic. Just give me a little time to adjust a bit.” His heart twinged thinking that maybe he should tell Shiro about the bond right then, but it still felt like too much. He’d already made Shiro feel guilty enough for wanting to fly. Telling him how much it might hurt him to spend a long period of time apart would only add to it.

“Take all the time you need.” Shiro said with an extra kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “Want to finish breakfast before I have to get dressed?”

“Mhm.” Keith nodded and pulled away to stand up, his chest warming when Shiro’s hover hand came to rest at the small of his back. “Hurry before your bacon gets cold.”

**

Their lunch date was strictly professional, both of them straightening their backs and scootching an inch apart whenever someone came into the teacher’s lounge, but Keith didn’t mind. PDA was never on his list of important relationship aspects and he finally got to ramble to Shiro all about the college stuff he found. He needed help narrowing down what courses he wanted to take especially because it would be on Shiro’s dime. Every credit had to count. 

They didn’t make too much progress in Shiro’s half hour lunch break, but they did manage to sneak a kiss goodbye without any prying eyes and Keith headed home to clean, make dinner, and organize his registration paperwork on the coffee table. It all had to be done online, but he needed to print things to visualize all the course options and he needed to pick which kind of psychology he wanted to concentrate on. 

He made chicken for dinner - without overcooking it  _ too _ much - and a salad because Shiro would roast him if he didn’t put a vegetable on the plate. He finished setting the table right as Shiro walked in the door and said a silent prayer for him to be in a good mood. They’d fought so much lately, he was craving a happy night in.

“Hey you.” Shiro grinned, walking into the kitchen to plant a kiss hello on Keith’s forehead. “Dinner ready?”

“Yeah, sit down.” Keith smiled back, planting a kiss of his own on Shiro’s cheek before breathing a sigh of relief. “Good day?”

“Great day.” Shiro said as he snaked his arm around Keith’s waist, nuzzling their noses together like he hadn’t seen him in days, let alone a few hours ago. “Wanna pick your classes after dinner and talk about your concentration?”

“Yeah I need your help.”

“Cool.” Shiro flashed a smile and leaned in close to nibble on Keith’s ear, his hand sliding down to not so subtly rest on his ass when he whispered. “You want to fuck me after that?”

“Jesus Christ.” Keith shivered, his eyes lighting up at the prospect. “ _ Yes _ .”

“Awesome.” He gave his ass a squeeze for emphasis and pulled away to sit at the dinner table, still sporting the same flirty grin as Keith came and sat with him. 

“You’re in a good mood.” Keith said, cutting his chicken as Shiro dug in. 

“Had a good day.” Shiro shrugged, mouth full as he spoke. “I’m glad you came at lunch.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” He nodded, taking a sip of water and hooking his ankle around Keith’s under the table. “I’m glad I changed my mind. I don’t want you to stop coming to see me at work just because we messed up a little one time and people are homophobic.”

Keith felt his heart lighten a little. “Yeah it would suck if I couldn’t ever come visit. I miss you when you’re at work.”

“Well soon I’ll be missing you while you’re at school.”

“We’ll be gone at the same times, Dummy.” Keith teased, but he was smiling. It was nice to know Shiro missed him during the day too. 

They finished eating and did a quick change into comfier clothing to settle onto the couch with all the paperwork Keith had printed. Even if it was a community college, it had a good psychology program and the options were fairly extensive given that it was a popular major.

“Why are there so many kinds of psychology?” Keith groaned, slumping down on the couch as Shiro looked the papers over. “I want to take all of them.”

“Well you’ll learn about every discipline. It’s just about which one you’ll learn the most about. What do you want to do with the degree?”

“I don’t know for sure.” He sighed. “I want to help people like you and stuff. People with trauma and PTSD and stuff like that.”

“Then go for abnormal psych and work with people who have disorders and trauma.” Shiro said, reaching over to tuck his hair back behind his ear and leaning in to plant a bonus kiss on his temple. “Baby, if you can do for other people even a fraction of what you do for me in terms of comfort and support, I think you’d make a huge difference.”

“Yeah?” Keith blushed.

“Of course. Hand me the concentration maps, let’s see what courses you should do first semester to focus on abnormal.”

“How many credit hours am I supposed to take?”

“Fifteen and if you have to drop one you’re okay. Don’t go below twelve.” Shiro said as Keith kicked his legs into his lap and traded him a stack of papers for the course catalog. “Mark which ones you want to take and we’ll see what fits.”

It took the better part of an hour to craft the schedule. There were too many things Keith wanted to take and then when he narrowed it down, the times conflicted, which meant switching one course for another and then the new time conflicted in a different way until they eventually got it all settled. 

“I’m so fucking proud of you.” Shiro said when they set the papers back on the coffee table, the schedule they’d decided on scribbled onto a piece of scrap paper. 

“It’s just community college.”

“It’s not easy to go back to school when you’re past the regular age.” Shiro said as he leaned over to kiss his cheek. “You’re choosing a whole new career. That’s hard and I’m just super proud that you want to help people who’ve been through similar things as me. It means the world.”

“Well, we’ve both been through a lot.” Keith shrugged. “It’d be nice to try and help other people.”

“My stand up guy.” Shiro sighed, resting his head on Keith’s shoulder. “You want to move things to the bedroom?”

“You really want me to top you tonight?”

“Mhm.” He nuzzled his cheek against him. “Just no pinning, yeah?”

“Of course.” Keith nodded and pressed a kiss into Shiro’s hair, breathing in the scent of his lavender shampoo. He loved all the girly bath and body products Shiro used. He always smelled like fucking flowers. 

“Want me to go wash up?”

“There’s a douche under the bathroom sink if you want it.”

Shiro crinkled his nose. 

“What?” Keith laughed. “I use that for you all the time.”

“I didn’t say  _ no _ , I just don’t like focusing on the pre-game cleaning. It’s not sexy.” Shiro teased as he pulled away and stood up, bending right back down to give Keith a brief kiss on the lips. “But you are. Give me a few minutes and come into the bedroom, yeah? Make up sex.”

“Wasn’t the blowjob make up sex?”

“Not mutual enough.” Shiro said as he left for the bedroom. 

Keith could already feel his eyes warming as he watched him go. When was the last time Shiro was in such a good mood? Maybe letting him fly was the right call - as difficult as he knew it was going to get along the way. Shiro already seemed happier.

He waited on the couch for ten minutes before rolling his eyes and going to knock on the bedroom door. “Shiro, I of all people, know it doesn’t take this long to get ready for sex.”

“Almost done!” Shiro called from behind the door and Keith leaned against it, blushing as he listened to Shiro shuffle around inside. 

They didn’t usually do much prep before hand anymore - other than he always made sure he was clean when Shiro came home. Just in case.

“You can come in!”

Keith opened the door and laughed when he saw Shiro on the bed even if it made his heart thump. “Are you wearing silk boxers?”

“Mhm.” Shiro smiled, splayed out on the bed in a black silk pair of short boxers that highlighted the thickness of his thighs. “I may have made a tiny shopping spree before coming home today.”

“You didn’t come home any later.” Keith frowned. 

“I also may have skipped lesson planning today.” He moved onto all fours and crawled up to the foot of the bed, leaning up until Keith gave in and came to give him the kiss he was craving. “Mm.” He purred against Keith’s lips. “Baby, I know I’m putting you through a lot with this whole piloting thing and I feel really bad about us fighting. Let me make it up properly, okay?” He turned his head to nip at Keith’s neck. “Get naked. I bought other stuff.”

Keith raised his eyebrows and stripped out of his shirt, relieved that he was feeling a lot less vulnerable than he had been lately. Shiro acting all submissive like that, it just made him… confident? It sure as hell did something to him because it made it a hell of a lot easier to leave the bedroom door unlocked. 

“You okay with the door unlocked?” Shiro asked and Keith nodded, sighing when Shiro leaned forward to swirl his tongue around his nipple. 

The foreplay moved fast, Keith stripping down to nothing and joining Shiro in bed, lying on top of him to share deep kiss after kiss, grinding their hips together until Shiro was hard and panting underneath him. “Can I take these off?” Keith murmured, dragging his tongue up Shiro’s neck as he tugged at the waistband of the briefs. 

“Yeah, here.” Shiro lifted his hips and let Keith pull the material off, spreading his thighs once he was naked and Keith’s eyes lit up in a second. 

“Jesus fuck, Shiro.” Keith breathed, reaching forward to run his fingers over the plug Shiro had inserted in himself. 

“I wanted to be ready for you.”

“For someone who fucks the life out of me on the daily, you’re kind of a power bottom you know.” Keith said. “Do you need any prep besides this?”

Shiro shook his head. “Just take it out and fuck me.” 

Keith crawled down the bed and bent down between Shiro’s legs, dragging his mouth up the inside of his thigh and sucking a love mark onto the tan skin just to hear the whimper it earned. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Takashi.” He said, flicking his tongue over a scar before he sat back on his heels and reached to carefully remove the plug. It was sleek black silicone and he shivered watching the way Shiro contracted when he pulled it out. 

“Here.” Shiro took the bottle of lube from under the pillow and handed it to him, propping himself up on his elbow to watch as Keith slicked himself up. “Do you feel anxious or anything?”

“I feel awesome.” Keith smiled as he spread a little excess lube around Shiro’s entrance and watched him shiver. “Ready for me?”

“Always.”

It didn’t take long for sex to take an intimate turn. He pushed in slowly, letting Shiro adjust to the change before he found a rhythm. There was something so different about sex when they switched up the roles. Shiro was soft underneath him, all quiet moans and whimpers, his strong legs hooked over Keith’s hips as he rolled them. 

“Does that feel good?” Keith asked between kisses, his breath hot and heavy against Shiro’s lips. 

“So fucking good.” He breathed. “Keith.”

“Takashi.”

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro’s head fell back when they picked up the pace. “Keith, keep going.”

“Yeah?” He snapped his hips. 

“Ah!” Shiro hid his face in Keith’s neck and whimpered. “I love you.” He pressed his feet into his ass to bury him deeper and shuddered. “Never going to fucking leave you.”

“You better fucking not.” Keith gasped when Shiro tensed around him. “ _ Fuck _ , Takashi.” When was he going to stop taking Shiro’s ass for granted?  

“Do you feel how much I love you?” Shiro panted as he pushed himself back against Keith’s thrusts, matching his rhythm even when Keith slid his hand between them to jack him off. “You’re everything.”

“Takashi.”

“Everything, Keith.” Shiro pulled back and leaned their foreheads together. “Cum for me, Baby.”

The instruction was all Keith needed to come dangerously close to orgasm, but he slowed down, turning his head to press his lips to Shiro’s and try to translate all the crazy conflicting emotions battling in his chest. Shiro was his everything too. He needed him to know that. “I have to tell you something.”

“Huh?” Shiro blinked, his face flushed as Keith stopped his thrusts. “What’s wrong?”

“I bonded to you.” He winced, the words tumbling out of his mouth. 

“...What?”

“I-I um…” Keith sighed, still oversensitive and close to orgasm, so he rolled his hips a tiny bit and Shiro rocked back against him, but it wasn’t enough to fully get back into it. “I don’t totally know what it means, but it’s a Galra thing my mom told me about. Since you took care of me when I was cycling and having those heat episodes, I just… I-It’s this chemical thing, I’m more attached to you than I ever was before. It’s why I miss you way too much when you’re at work and feel anxious when we’re apart and stuff. I don’t think I can ever be with anyone else.”

“Baby.” Shiro’s eyebrows pushed together. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me that?”

Keith bit his lip and felt his hips twitch from their stalled position. “I didn’t want you to think I was using it to reopen the pilot argument, or guilt you into staying. I’m not changing my mind about letting you go, I just want you to know.”

“I love that we have a connection like that.” Shiro said, his eyes wide and genuine as he brought his human hand up to Keith’s cheek. “Keith, I’m never going to be with anyone but you. You don’t have to worry about that.” 

“Are you sure it doesn’t freak you out?”

“All you’re telling me is that we’re closer than any other couple on Earth.” Shiro smiled, planting another kiss on Keith’s lips as he reached down to guide his hand back up and down his cock. “You want to keep going?”

“Yeah.” Keith grinned, tightening his grip a bit and watching the way it made Shiro’s face turn pink before he rolled his hips again and made him groan. “Cum for me, Baby.”

**

After a brief rest in the afterglow, Keith dragged Shiro into the shower and melted against him, tucking his head into the crook of his neck as the hot water an over them. After sex, he felt the effect of the bonding more than any other time. He got clingy and needed that skin to skin contact. Nothing made him feel safer. 

“I’m gonna be sore at work tomorrow.” Shiro laughed a little as he stroked his hand down Keith’s back. “Did you feel good?”

“Did you?”

“Mhm.”

“Yeah that was great.” Keith smiled, leaning up to kiss the water droplets off his chin. “I’m gonna finish registering online tomorrow. Thanks for all your help with my classes and stuff.”

“Of course.” Shiro reached for the shampoo and motioned for Keith to turn around, lathering up his hands and putting the bottle down once he did. “So I got something else when I went shopping today.” He said as he started to massage the shampoo into Keith’s scalp. 

“Are you gonna tell me what it is?”

“Let me know if you like it and if you don’t, I’ll get a different one for you, but I found a vibrator I thought you’d like. You know, in case you need me and I’m not here.”

Oh. Keith’s heart twinged at the thought that Shiro was already planning for his absence, but he knew he’d asked him to buy one. It would be good to have. “Thanks Takashi.”

“But still tell me when you’re having heat episodes, okay? I want to take care of you.” He let Keith tip his head back to wash out the shampoo and kissed the back of his neck when he finished. “Want me to help you finish up all the registration stuff online?”

“Mhm.” Keith nodded, turning around in his arms to lean back into his chest. “Do you have any work to do?”

“Nope.”

“Movie night?”

“Sure.” Shiro said, picking the wet hair out of Keith’s eyes and kissing his forehead. “Let’s finally relax, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed. “No more drama?”

“No more drama.” Shiro promised, giving him a squeeze before reaching to turn the water off. “I think we’re done with all that.”

Keith sure as hell hoped they were.


	13. Rings Of Saturn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao keith's got another thing coming y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol guess who updated

They spent two weeks in domestic harmony. Keith had a start date for his spring semester, Shiro hadn’t had another nightmare, and piloting hadn’t come up again. Keith was sure it would be any day when Shiro would come home with news about it, but so far he hadn’t. He felt more at ease and Shiro seemed happier. They even went out to dinner on Wednesday night and he wasn’t so anxious about being seen.

Keith was putting together a budget for what his textbooks would cost when Shiro came home early the next Friday. “Hey Babe.” He said from the couch, eyes stuck on the laptop screen as he tried to put the numbers together. Why were books so expensive? “Class get cancelled?”

“Uh yeah. I wanted to ask you something, so I came home.”

“Hm?” Keith frowned and looked up. “What would you need to ask me?”

Shiro set his bag down by the door and came to sit next to him on the sofa, staring down at his lap and wringing his hands together.

“Baby, spit it out.” Keith said, knocking his knee against Shiro’s. “What’s up? Did something happen at school?”

“There’s a mission.”

Oh.

“I… I-I wanna go.”

Keith’s heart sank, but he took a deep breath. He couldn’t get emotional over this and make Shiro feel bad again. “When?”

“January fifteenth.”

“Wait, seriously?” Keith’s chest ached as he huffed and shut the laptop.

“What?” Shiro blinked. “Is it too soon?”

“Takashi, that’s my first day of school. Fuck.” Keith pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the couch. He was already nerve wracked about starting classes, now he was going to face it alone?

“Shit.” Shiro cursed. “Sorry, Iverson just made the offer and I got excited. I forgot about your first day. Do you want me to wait for the next one?”

“No.” Keith mumbled. “That wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“It’s a really short mission, Keith. Just a month. Iverson even said they’ll let us communicate more than they typically let people since um… You know, since you help with my PTSD so much and there might be triggers once I’m up there.” Shiro scootched closer and slumped down to Keith’s level, resting his head on his shoulder and sighing. “Are you mad?”

“I’m not.” He grimaced. It was true. He’d worked well past the anger. He was just scared now - for himself and for Shiro. “I won’t keep you here. Tell Iverson yes.”

“Thank you, Keith.” Shiro said, reaching his human arm over to hug him. “Please don’t hate me for going. I’ll call you as much as they let me and it’s a super safe mission. We’re just going to get samples from a Balmera we think we found in a neighboring galaxy and it could really help the Garrison with integrating the Altean tech with our own. It’s small, but it’s really important. I want to be a part of it.”

Keith softened in his touch and sighed, wrapping his arms around Shiro too and squeezing. “As long as you stay safe, Takashi. Just come home to me.”

“I will.” Shiro promised, squeezing back before he pulled apart just a bit to kiss him.

Keith relished in the warmth and familiarity, turning his head a bit to prod Shiro’s lips open with his tongue. Maybe this wasn’t the end of the world. Shiro seemed happy and yeah, he was bummed about not being able to have Shiro on his first day of college, but at least now he had a date. He could prepare.

Shiro’s hand came to cup Keith’s cheek, his thumb stroking over the scar before they parted from the kiss and he could touch their foreheads together. “I want to take you somewhere.”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

“Um…” Keith bit his lip. “Where?”

“Would you be against going for a ride in Black?” Shiro smiled. “It’s been a long time. She’s in the hangar.”

“Are we gonna get out of the ship? Like do we need armor and stuff?”

Shiro shook his head.

“We’re not going too far from Earth.”

“Not far at all.” Shiro said, leaning in to plant a line of kisses down Keith’s neck. “We’ve explored just about every galaxy except the one we live in. Wanna go see what Saturn looks like in person?”

Keith blushed. _Way_ back in the day, they used to sit on the roof of his shack in the desert and stargaze. He used to say Saturn was his favorite - the one he wanted to see the most, but once they’d been across the entire universe he kind of forgot about it. He still hadn’t actually been to see it.

“You want to? It would only take us a few hours in the lion and uh… You know, if you wanted to, we could spend the night in it. For old times sake?”

A smile tugged on Keith’s lips and he nodded. He couldn’t resist the romance of it and he did miss flying a little bit. Didn’t miss intergalactic war, but if they were staying in their own galaxy, he didn’t mind. Shiro seemed itching to get back into space anyways and he’d probably combust in the next two months he had to wait for his mission to launch. At least in Black, he’d be piloting himself. He could keep Shiro safe.

“Let’s spend the night. I’ll pack a few things.” Keith shrugged.

“Awesome.” Shiro beamed, kissing the top of his head when he stood up. “I’m gonna go change.”

Keith stayed on the couch and watched him go, feeling his face warm as he listened to the rummaging of Shiro packing and getting ready one room over. The gesture was meaningful. Shiro knew just how to find the middle ground between what would make an impact on their relationship and what Keith would still be comfortable with. Finding a romantic date where Keith had nothing to be anxious about was a tall order, but he did it.

Keith joined Shiro in the bedroom a few minutes later and packed some of his cuter underwear and some comfy pajamas into a bag with his meds. He’d bought some lacey male lingerie online and it was pretty tame, but he still knew Shiro would be surprised. Sex on the black lion sounded like a special enough occasion to debut it. “Am I piloting?”

“You’re Black’s pilot, so yeah.” Shiro smiled, zipping up his duffel bag and coming over to kiss the corner of his mouth. He was already redressed in skinny baby blue jeans and a white shirt to match. Keith was still a little smitten with how Shiro dressed when he wasn’t in uniform. He smelled like cologne too. “I love when you fly me around.”

“Okay.” Keith laughed. “I’m gonna shower then we can go, yeah?”

“Want me to pack dinner to go?”

“Oh shit. Yeah I cooked.” Keith rolled his eyes at himself and pulled away to go clean up. “Tupperware’s above the sink.”

**

He shaved everything in the shower and made sure to douche before he got dressed for their date. Black had a bathroom and a shower, but he didn’t want to haul everything he needed to clean up for sex with him to the ship. He did pack the new cotton candy lube they’d been using and wore the tightest jeans he had before just throwing a soft t-shirt on and going to meet Shiro in the living room.

“I got wine too.” Shiro grinned when he held up the picnic basket.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Keith smiled back, heaving his bag up on his shoulder and grabbing his keys from the coffee table.

“You look nice.” Shiro said when he leaned in to give him a kiss. “Space date night?”

“Space date night.” Keith laughed. “Let’s get the ship.”

**

Being back in Black’s cockpit was nostalgic to say the least. She lit up at his touch like he’d never left and moved at his command when he launched them out of the Garrison hangar. Shiro stood right next to the pilot’s chair, one hand combing through Keith’s hair to keep him relaxed as they flew out of Earth’s atmosphere - also just because he knew Keith loved it.

“You’re so cute when you’re focused.” Shiro teased, scratching a little behind Keith’s ear to make him purr.

“Don’t make me all mushy yet. It’s still a twenty minute ride over to Saturn.”

“You’re just too cute.” Shiro said, watching Mercury drift by. “I remember watching you from in here when I was stuck on the astral plane.” He sighed and Keith’s heart thumped. “You were always meant for this and you just kept doubting yourself. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

“Takashi, you were there for me the whole time. I wouldn’t have gotten through any of it if you weren’t in here guiding me.” He reached up to take Shiro’s human hand and kissed his palm. “Keep playing with my hair, I’m a touch whore now.”

“I created a monster with you, didn’t I?”

“A little bit.”

Keith relished in how Shiro touched him while they flew out to Saturn, blushing when his fingers brushed against his ear, or stroked the back of his neck. He loved how they could just melt into each other now. Every touch was natural.

“It’s up ahead.” Shiro said when they got close and Keith slowed down, letting them drift closer until he could see the planet coming into view from the distance. “Do you remember what you used to say about Saturn?”

“I forgot until you said you wanted to come here.” Keith smiled. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“Of course I did.” Shiro bent down and kissed his forehead. “What do you think of it?”

Keith took his hands away from the controls and watched as the planet came into view. It was beautiful. Maybe it wasn’t as spectacular as some of the far off worlds they’d visited, but his heart warmed seeing those rings. He remembered staring at photos of the planet in books, through a telescope Shiro had brought out to the desert one night. It looked exactly like all of the glimpses they had before, but so much bigger, and the rings were so much more vibrant in person as Black took them just close enough to put the full planet in view and stopped while they looked. She always seemed to do just what he wanted.

“Observation deck?” Shiro asked, holding out his human hand and Keith was happy to take it.

They walked together from the cockpit around to one of Black’s eyes, a wide empty space where they could walk right up to the glass and look out at the planet in front of them.

“I feel like we’re never gonna be able to truly see everything.” Shiro said, his arms enveloping Keith’s waist from behind as he propped his chin up on his shoulder. “But I think we’ve seen enough of the universe to be pretty satisfied.”

“It does feel weird that out of all the worlds we went to, we haven’t explored much of our own solar system.”

“That can change.” Shiro smiled, pressing his lips to the side of Keith’s neck. “I’d love to explore with you. Whenever you want to.”

“It’s sweet that you’re still this adventurous.” Keith laughed a little and turned to nuzzle their noses together. “Nothing’s ever really enough for you is it?”

“Except for you.” He said with a chaste peck to Keith’s lips. “You do know that you’re the most fulfilling part of my life right?” He asked with a smile, but there was still concern in his eyes. “When I go on that short mission, I want you to know I’m gonna miss you so much it hurts.”

“I hope you do.” Keith sighed.

“I will. If they put a gag order in place, I won’t even go.” Shiro said as he tightened his hold on Keith’s waist. “I’ll talk to Iverson soon about it. We need to be able to communicate when I’m away. I need to talk to you to keep my episodes in check and you need comfort during your cycle periods. I won’t go on anything where they won’t let me speak to you.”

Keith’s heart warmed at the sentiment and he leaned back into Shiro’s touch to watch the view in front of them. “Thanks, Takashi.”

“Anything for you, Keith.”

 _Except staying_ , Keith thought, but he pushed the thought away. No more resentment.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do the Galra have any kind of ceremony for people who are bonded?” Shiro asked with a smile. “Like, I don’t know um…”

“What, a wedding? I don’t know what they do.”

“Would you want to find out?’

“What do you m-” Keith watched, frozen as Shiro pulled away and dropped to one knee. “TAKASHI WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Will you marry me?” Shiro laughed, pulling a ring box from his pocket and flicking it open to reveal a silver band encrusted with tiny diamonds. Keith didn’t want to think about how much he spent on it. “Or if there’s another ceremony you want to do too, or if your mom wants us to do. However we officiate it, I just-”

Keith tackled him to the floor and slammed their lips together, tears welling in his eyes as they glowed hot yellow behind his lids. “Yes.” He croaked, peppering Shiro’s face in tiny kisses as the tears started to roll down his cheeks. “Yes, yes, fucking yes.”

“Aw Baby.” Shiro snickered as he wrapped his arms around him, one hand still clutching the jewelry box. “I’m sorry if this is too soon or anything, I just couldn’t resist anymore. Once you told me about that bonding thing, I just knew, you know? This is for the long haul. Even if we haven’t been dating that long, you’ve been the most important person in my life for years.”

“I fucking love you, you’re such a dork, oh my _fuck_.” Keith babbled as he sat back, still straddling Shiro’s hips as he held a shaky hand out for the ring to be slipped on. “How does it fit perfectly?”

“I measured your finger in your sleep.”

“Of course you did.” He sniffed. “Takashi…”

“Are you happy?” Shiro grinned, propping himself up on his elbow and carding his metal fingers through Keith’s hair.

Keith looked down at the ring and a sob fell from his mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks as he sat on top of Shiro, mesmerized by the gesture. “You really want this?”

“Of course I do.”

“With me?” Keith croaked. “I… I-I’m not husband material, I’m-”

“Keith, you’re the best partner I ever could have asked for.” Shiro said, a soft smile still on his lips as he let his hand come down to caress the scar on Keith’s cheek. “We’ve been through everything together.”

Keith’s chest ached, his heart too full of an unimaginable excitement and happiness for him to fully process. All that time spent alone at the orphanage, all those fights at the Garrison, all the fear, all the anxiety. Shiro had saved him from all of it. “I don’t want to hide anymore.”

“Hm?”

“Takashi, I-I want to be your husband. I-I want to be Keith Shirogane and I can’t be that if I’m too scared to go out to dinner, or kiss you in a movie theater, o-or hold your hand when we walk around the Garrison. I’m gonna start doing that stuff more. I want us to.”

Shiro grinned at him and leaned up to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I would love that, Keith. We’ll work on it together, yeah? We’ll have to learn to function like a normal couple in public without being afraid of harassment.”

“I-It might still take me a while longer.”

“Baby, you’ve been through hell with the gay thing.” Shiro sighed. “I mean my heart broke when you told me what happened the first time you had sex, I just… I want to help you heal. You helped me heal.”

“I fucking love you.” Keith wiped his eyes and closed the gap between them to share another kiss, softer this time. “I’m sorry I was so difficult about letting you fly, I just… I thought I was going to die when I lost you the first time and when I lost you a second…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not going to disappear again.” Shiro cooed, pressing his lips to Keith’s scar. “I might take some small missions because flying is important to me - especially research missions that will help Earth integrate all the technology we brought back, but I’m done fighting. I just want to be someone that our kids can look up to one day, you know? I want to keep exploring.”

“Our kids?” Keith grinned and Shiro gave him a playful poke in the ribs. “You’re already such a dad.”

“Says the guy who cooks dinner every night.”

“Hey I’m getting good at it.”

“You are.” Shiro conceded. “I’m a little obsessed with your lasagna.”

Keith rolled his eyes and planted another kiss on his lips. “Wanna get off the floor?”

“Do you want to have crazy engagement sex or eat dinner first?”

“Who do you think I am?” Keith sighed, climbing off of him, so he could stand and offer a hand down to help Shiro up too. “Take me to our bunk?” He asked with his eyes still wet, hand still grasping Shiro’s like he might wake up from a dream if he let go. It all felt too unreal.

“Can I carry you?”

“Takashi.” Keith blushed.

“Aw, please?” Shiro stepped in front of him and turned around. “Jump up.”

“You’re so dorky.” Keith said, but he jumped onto his back anyways, letting Shiro catch his legs when he wrapped them around his hips and putting his arms around his broad shoulders to be carried. “Take me away, Stud.”

“And I’m the dork?” Shiro laughed as he carried him piggy-back from the observation deck. “I may have snuck into the lion and prepared a few things.”

“Oh my God.” Keith smiled, nuzzling his nose against Shiro’s neck. “You’re always prepared aren’t you?”

“I didn’t prepare for you to say no.”

Keith rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to Shiro’s cheek, clunging to him as they walked through the purple lit halls of the lion, back to the bunk Keith had fantasized about sharing with him for so long. “We’re not rushing into this are we?” Keith asked when Shiro set him down on the small bed.

“I know it took us a long time to actually realize we were in love, but uh… I mean, I’ve thought about you forever. You saved my life a thousand times.” Shiro said as he sat on the side of the bed and reached his hand under Keith’s shirt, just splaying his fingers out over his stomach to feel the warmth of his skin. “I’ve always loved you and once we got to Earth, I just had the time to process it.”

“Can I ask you something?” Keith blushed.

“Anything.”

“Um… So did you see me all the time when I was in Black and you were on the astral plane?”

Shiro nodded and Keith felt his face turn a darker shade of red.

“So when I came in this bunk and uh…”

Shiro’s face flashed red. “Okay do _not_ get creeped out. I couldn’t exactly control what I always saw or didn’t see.”

“Oh my _God_.” Keith groaned, covering his face with his hands. “Shiro you saw me masturbate in the fucking lion!”

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it!”

“Takashiiiii.” He whined. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to be weird! I tried to warn you even! You know I could make the room kind of vibrate and I was trying to get you to notice you weren’t alone, or something, but the vibrations just kind of turned you on and-”

“Stop talking!” Keith gave him a playful slap on the arm and laughed. “Jesus Christ.”

“If it helps, you know, I couldn’t jack off in the astral plane. I had like a phantom boner for a week after that and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“Oh my fucking God, stop talking.” Keith cackled, holding his sides as Shiro’s face flushed even further. “Come and kiss me, so I can stop thinking about your voyeurism.”

“I couldn’t help it!” Shiro grinned as he leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose. “Hey, aren’t you the one with the semi-public sex kink?”

“Aren’t _you_ the one who _indulged_ my semi-public sex kink?”

“You’re adorable.”

“Not as cute as you.” Keith shrugged. “I don’t make the rules.”

“Holy shit, just come here.” Shiro laughed before tugging him up and pressing their lips together to shut Keith up if nothing else.

Keith hummed right into the kiss and let his eyes fall shut, wrapping one arm around Shiro’s shoulders as he opened his mouth for his tongue. “Mmph.” He mumbled against him when Shiro’s tongue prodded through his lips, caressing his own and exploring the tiny crevices of his mouth while Keith subtly spread his legs a little wider. Shiro got the hint to hover his hand between his thighs. “Yes.” Keith sighed against him, feeling the metal hand vibrate lowly as Shiro cupped him through his jeans. “God, Takashi.”

“I love what this thing does to you.” Shiro murmured, planting another kiss on the corner of Keith’s mouth before he pulled back to peel out of his shirt, abandoning it on the floor and snickering when Keith’s hands hurried to explore his chest.

“You don’t even work out anymore, how are you this ripped?”

“I work out. I go on my lunch break sometimes.” Shiro said as Keith’s hands traced the scars, traveling down to feel the muscle of his abs before Keith leaned in to lap at the sensitive part of his chest. “Mm.”

“You like that?” Keith grinned, flicking his tongue over the nub of his nipple one more time before leaning up to kiss him properly again, all tongue and parted lips. He pulled away to peel out of his own shirt and sighed when Shiro ran his hands up his torso. It was the little things that turned him on the most. He just liked to be touched. His hair, his ears, his neck, all the places Shiro would caress and kiss during their foreplay always warmed him up perfectly. “Mmm.” He hummed when Shiro’s fingers ran through his hair, one hand still trailing down his side.

“You’re so cute.” Shiro grinned, thumbing open Keith’s jeans and dragging the zipper down. “Can I get you out of these?”

“Mhm.” Keith nodded and stood up from the bunk, pushing them down and reaching down to get Shiro’s undone. He waited for him to lift his hips then tugged the jeans down, letting Shiro kick them off before he moved into his lap again, straddling his hips and leaning in to kiss him again before he realized he’d actually brought lingerie for this. “Wait!” He said, hopping out of Shiro’s lap.

“What?” Shiro blinked.

“I forgot something. Stay right here.” Keith said, grabbing his face and pulling him into a deep kiss that knocked the breath out of Shiro’s lungs before he turned and ran out to go get his duffel bag. He wasn’t going to wear his every day underwear for engagement sex, so he sprinted back up to the cockpit and grabbed his bag, doing a quick change, so he could step into the lacy black briefs and pull them up his hips. They fit well and were softer than he expected, hugging his hips and accentuating his bulge in a way that he was _not_ complaining about.

He grabbed the cotton candy lube and jogged back to the bunk, beaming when he stepped in and shut the door behind him. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Shiro blinked, cheeks pink as he looked Keith over. “Wow.”

“Yeah?”

“ _Yeah_.” He nodded. “You look gorgeous.”

“Really?” Keith felt his eyes glow as he walked up to Shiro and stood between his open knees.

“I am going to buy you so much fucking lingerie if you like wearing this.” Shiro breathed, sliding his hand between Keith’s thighs to cup his bulge, squeezing a little until he hardened against his palm.

“Mm.” Keith sighed, letting his eyes fall shut a bit.

“Come lie down.” Shiro murmured, guiding him back down to the bed and laying him over the sheets. “Cozy?”

“Yeah.” Keith laughed as he settled against the pillows, spreading his legs as Shiro kneeled on the mattress between them. “You really like the lingerie?”

“I love it.” Shiro grinned, running his hands up the insides of Keith’s thighs. “You’ve been shaving your legs.”

“I mean, I thought you’d like it.” Keith blushed. “Too girly?”

“You’re all soft.” Shiro said as he crawled onto all fours and lowered himself down to mouth at Keith’s cock through the fabric.

“Hhh.” He gasped, biting his lip at the warmth. “Takashi.”

“Mm.” Shiro responded, kissing up to his waist to start peeling back the underwear.

Keith lifted his hips and let Shiro pull them down his thighs, both of them shifting around to get them all the way down his legs and off before Shiro tossed them to the floor. He almost laughed at the way his dick sprung out, but Shiro was quick to settle between his thighs and lick a stripe up the underside. “Takashi.” He repeated, pushing one hand into his hair and admiring the way the ring looked against the silver.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Shiro murmured, kissing up the underside before taking the tip in his mouth and looking up at him through his lashes.

“Fuck.” Keith propped himself on his elbows to watch as he hooked his leg over Shiro’s shoulder, his foot pressing into his back as he tensed from the teasing. Shiro’s mouth was warm and wet, his tongue lapping up every bit of pre-cum he leaked while he squirmed under the touch. “Takashiii.” He whined, his free hand gripping the bed sheets.

Shiro complied and sunk down further, gradually taking him in inch by inch until his throat relaxed and he could bob back and forth, taking Keith’s full length and swallowing around it.

“ _Hhh_ , fuck.” Keith panted. “Takashi... So fucking good.”

Shiro pulled off with a pop and nudged Keith’s legs open a little bit more, dipping down to flick his tongue over over the taught ring of his entrance.

“Shiro!” He yelped, clamping a hand over his mouth and lifting his hips to give him better access. “Fuck, fuck, please more.” Keith shivered, taking his hand away just to put both into Shiro’s hair, whimpering when he felt his tongue massaging his perineum only to drag back up and lick him open. “ _Takashiiiiii_.”

Shiro laughed a little and turned his head to suck a hickey onto the inside of Keith’s thigh. “You ready for my fingers, Baby?”

“Don’t dirty talk me, I’m gonna fucking cum.” Keith said as Shiro lifted his head and eased his leg back off his shoulder to keep him comfortable. “Here, use this.” He grabbed the lube from where he’d dropped it by the pillow and handed it over.

“Cotton candy?” Shiro laughed, popping the cap and dabbing a tiny bit onto his index finger. “Let me taste it first.” He reached out and dabbed a little onto each of Keith’s nipples before crawling over him to lick it off.

“Jesus fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” Keith sighed, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and shutting his eyes. “Tell me we’re not gonna ever gonna have boring married people sex.”

“We’ll have really hot married people sex.” Shiro chuckled, sitting back to pour the lube onto his hand and get his fingers slicked up.

The preparation didn’t take long - it never really did anymore - and soon they were face to face, Shiro’s briefs discarded on the floor while he pushed inside of him and Keith’s legs hitched up securely over his hips.

Keith kept his eyes open, watching how Shiro looked bathed in the soft purple light of the room and letting him fully see how brightly his eyes glowed with arousal. He had never felt safer. They were out in space where no one could barge in. He was alone with no one but Shiro and as much as he loved to take care of him, this time he felt taken care of. “Oh.” He breathed when Shiro started to rock back and forth, a slow pace to build him up with.

“Good?”

“Perfect.” Keith sighed, turning his head, so Shiro would kiss down his neck. “I can’t believe you fucking proposed.”

“Of course I did.” Shiro said in a breathy voice, leaning up to nibble at his ear a bit. “Who else would I ever spend my life with?”

Keith moaned at a shift in angle and rolled his hips back against him. “ _Fuck_ , I love you.”

“I love you too.” Shiro licked a stripe up his neck and pulled back to press their foreheads together. “I’m gonna be such a good husband to you.” He breathed. “I’ll never go away for too long. I’m gonna be here for you.”

“Takashi.” He pressed his feet into Shiro’s ass to drive him in deep and gasped. “I want to be married so fucking bad.” He could feel tears welling up, but he didn’t try to stop them, feeling his heart thump in time with the thrusts of Shiro’s hips. “I want to take care of you. I-I want you to take care of me.”

“I’m always gonna take care of you, Baby.”  Shiro whispered against his lips before pressing in especially hard, angling himself up perfectly to hit Keith’s prostate dead on.

“Ah!” He sobbed, arching his back off the sheets as the tears rolled down. “I love you!” Keith gasped. “I love you so fucking much, Takashi. Don’t stop. _Please don’t stop_.”

“I got you, Baby.”

“ _Hhh!”_ Keith squirmed, sweat breaking on his forehead.

“You want to cum for me?” Shiro cooed as he reached between them and wrapped his fingers around Keith’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts.

Keith gave a broken nod and cried out when Shiro rolled his hips and kissed the tears from his cheeks. Those little kisses were the final straw. “ _Takashi_.” He came with a whimper and held on to him tight, shaking as he spilled over Shiro’s hand and both their stomachs. “Fuck.” Keith panted as Shiro fucked him through orgasm, his whole body trembling against the cool sheets, all raw nerves and sweat.

“Good?” Shiro smiled when he finished.

“Not done with you.” Keith breathed, putting his hands on Shiro’s chest to push him back. “Switch. Lie down.”

Shiro helped flip their position, easing himself back as they adjusted and soon he was laying down, Keith in his lap.

“Cum for me.” Keith said, taking Shiro’s hand and holding it tight as he moved himself up and down. He was trembling with oversensitivity, but he wanted Shiro to finish inside him.

“Fuck, Keith.” Shiro huffed. “A-Almost.”

Keith rolled his hips in the expert way he’d learned would finish him off and grinned when Shiro’s head tipped back, feeling himself fill with Shiro’s warmth as he rode him through, making Shiro was completely done before climbing out of his lap and laying down next to him. “We’re upside down on the bed.” He laughed.

“I don’t think I can move.” Shiro grinned back before leaning in for a lazy kiss. “You look so pretty in this light.”

“Purple does look good on Galra I guess.” Keith said, bringing his hand up to admire the ring again. “Do I want to know how much this cost?”

“Nope.”

“I love it.”

“Good.” Shiro said as he pulled him in closer, pressing a few more kisses to Keith’s shoulder. “Does it really fit perfectly? I didn’t measure too well. I want it to be comfortable.”

“It feels perfect, Takashi.” Keith yawned, a silly smile still plastered on his face as he rolled over to snuggle into his chest. He could ignore the mess they made for a few minutes to bathe in the afterglow. “I’m so happy.”

“Good.” Shiro whispered, pressing a kiss to Keith’s forehead for emphasis. “I wanted you to be absolutely sure that I’m never, ever going anywhere. Even if I go on a mission. I’m always yours.”

“Thank you.” Keith sighed. “This means everything to me.” He didn’t even cringe at the mention of a mission. Things were okay.

“The paladins are gonna lose it when we tell them.”

“Yeah.” Keith chuckled, hitching one leg up over Shiro’s and hugging them. “Quick nap before we eat dinner?”

“We’re showering when we wake up.”

“Fair enough.” Keith leaned up for one more kiss, savoring the softness of his partner’s - his _fiancee’s_ \- lips. “We should probably sleep on the side with the pillows.”

**

They showered in the small stall of the Black Lion bathroom together and Keith let himself be as clingy and obnoxious as he wanted to be. He _couldn’t_ stop kissing him. He just had to keep planting his lips on Shiro’s cheeks, his mouth, his neck, keeping his arms wrapped around Shiro’s waist, so they had to be close.

Shiro basked in the affection, letting Keith smother him in those little kisses while he reached around and washed his back for him. Keith couldn’t even remember the last time he felt so happy other than those few months ago when Shiro had confirmed he loved him.

“You’re so adorable when you’re happy.” Shiro said as he massaged some shampoo into Keith’s hair. It didn’t really need washing, but Keith liked the touch too much to say no. “Any idea when you’d want to have a wedding?”

“Can we afford one?”

“Yeah.” Shiro laughed. “Don’t worry about money.”

“I don’t know. I’d want my mom to come, so I’ll talk to her about her missions and we’ll go from there? Plus, I guess you should check out when that mission is. We’ll go from there.”

“Sounds perfect.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Keith’s neck. “Have you ever thought about kids?”

“I may have fantasized a few times about what a good dad you would be one day.” Keith smiled, turning his head, so Shiro would have better access. “I think after a while, I’d want to adopt. When I’m done with school and have a job. Maybe we’ll move somewhere we can at least fit Kosmo into.”

“That’s how I feel too.” Shiro sighed as he pressed another kiss to Keith’s jaw and pulled away to let him rinse out the shampoo. “You want to fly home, or spend the night?”

“Let’s just spend the night here. I like the privacy.” Keith said, pressing himself into Shiro’s chest, so he could be held. “We’re gonna have a kickass wedding.”

“Yeah we are.” Shiro laughed.

They stayed naked after the shower, drying off and letting their hands roam over each other when they retreated back to the bunk. It wasn’t their first time sleeping on the lion, but Keith remembered all the nights spent there, or in the castle, praying that Shiro would come to his room and hold him exactly like he was holding him now.

Keith nestled into Shiro’s chest when they were under the blankets, hitching his leg up over Shiro’s and tucking his head right into the crook of his neck, the soft purple light bathing them again as he shut his eyes. “This might be the best night of my life.” Keith smiled, only half joking as he settled into Shiro’s touch.

“Just wait for the wedding night.” Shiro smiled too, pulling the blankets up to cover Keith’s shoulders. “You make me the happiest guy in the universe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall sorry this is late i've been having trouble finding motivation lately bc i feel like no one reads? which isn't totally true i know and the regular peeps who comment on these chapters yall really keep me going but its been a little bit of a struggle lately idk


	14. Stretch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol guess who's baaack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are still enjoying this!!

Keith could barely get anything done at all - he spent so much time staring at the engagement ring. He ran to Pidge’s house when they returned from their trip to Saturn and tackled her when he broke the news. After that was a tearful video call to Hunk, then Lance and Allura. 

When Shiro came home from work that day, Keith had tackled him too and smothered him in kisses before he could even get a ‘hello’ out. 

“I’m gonna call my mom in a minute. Dinner will be done in thirty.” Keith said before kissing another line down Shiro’s neck. “Also my enrollment went through and so did my course registration.”

“That’s awesome, Baby. Do you want me to be on the call with your mom?”

“I’ll call you in to say hi.” He smacked a kiss to Shiro’s cheek and squeezed his hips before pulling away. “I’ll be in our room, won’t take long.”

“You’re fucking adorable.”

Keith laughed a little and let his eyes drift back down to the ring again as he walked to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him as he grabbed a data pad and sat on the bed to call his mom. 

“Hey Kiddo, what’s up?” Krolia greeted from the screen when she answered, still in her Blade uniform. “Just got off a mission, is everything good?”

“Everything’s great.” Keith smiled, his eyes glowing as he stared down at his hand. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Do Galra have weddings?”

“Yeah, we do something similar.” She raised her eyebrows. “You have news?”

Keith couldn’t help the stupid grin on his face when he raised his hand to show her the ring. “Shiro asked.” He beamed. “I don’t know what to do for whatever kind of ceremony we want, but would you be able to come to Earth? It’d be like eight months from now, but I get that there’s missions and stuff, you can-”

“ _ Keith _ , I wouldn’t miss your wedding.” She laughed, her smile just as wide as his was. “I’m so happy for you. I was a little worried when you bonded to him so soon, but if you’re getting married, then it’s perfect.”

“Why were you worried?”

“I thought things would work out, but you know, it’s really hard to be away from someone you’re bonded to. If you ever broke up, it would have been bad.”

“What do you mean away from?” Keith’s chest tightened. “What happens?”

“I mean, your heat episodes would be torture.” She frowned. “You don’t want to know what I went through when me and your dad were separated. It’s not just the physical relief, it’s the emotional.”

“Oh.” Keith bit his lip.

“Is Shiro going somewhere?”

“Um… He’s going on a mission in January. He’ll miss one cycle for me.” Keith blushed. “Will I be okay?”

She grimaced. “This is pretty poor timing, Keith. You just started your cycles, you’re recently bonded, and even without that, you’re pretty reliant on that guy aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed. “He can’t not go though, Mom. We’ve fought it out like a thousand times and I think if I took my word back, it’d break his heart.”

“Well it’s your relationship, Kiddo. Just keep me posted, okay? When he goes, we’ll get you through it. Communicate with him.”

“Okay.” Keith nodded. “But uh… Okay, so that stuff aside, wedding yeah? I just told all the paladins today. You’re sure there’s nothing Galra you want me to do at the ceremony?”

“Well, there is a small tradition among the Blades.” She shrugged. “Once you’re married and since you’re already bonded, if you hold your blade out to him and he holds the hilt with you, it’ll awaken at his touch. It’s a cute little sentimental thing we do sometimes. Your mate can awaken your blade too if you touch it together.”

“I love that.” He grinned. “Hey, do you want to say hi to Shiro for a quick minute before we go? I think he kind of misses you. He thinks you’re cool.”

“Hey, I think he’s cool.” She shrugged. “Sure.”

“Shiro!” Keith called out. “Come say hi!” He laughed a little at the shuffling he heard from the living room and soon, Shiro had poked his head through the door. 

“Krolia on?” Shiro asked until Keith gestured for him to come over. “Hey, did he tell you?” 

“Sure did.” Krolia said. “I’m happy, but make sure you watch out for him okay? Precious cargo.”

“I think Keith’s pretty tough on his own, but I’ve got him.” Shiro smiled, planting a kiss on the top of his head. “We’d love to have you for the wedding, do you think you could make the trip to Earth when we have the ceremony?”

“I’ll be there.” She nodded. “I’ve got to go to mission prep, but take care you two.”

“Be safe, Mom. I’ll check in next week.” Keith waved before they hung up the call and he set the pad down on the nightstand. 

“Does she think I don’t watch out for you?” Shiro frowned. “Am I just reading too much into that?”

“Reading too much into it, Baby.” Keith said, taking his hand and lying down. “Hey, I missed you all day.”

“Yeah?” Shiro laughed, squeezing his hand as his eyes wandered down Keith’s body. He had very purposefully stretched out to make his shirt ride up and his jeans ride down. “You work out today?”

“Mhm.” Keith hummed. “Quickie before dinner?”

“Come here.” 

It took five minutes for Keith to find himself naked, bouncing in Shiro’s lap as they moaned in harmony. He was getting better at the sexual inhibition. He felt like their bedroom was truly private and didn’t find himself thinking too hard about whether or not the neighbors could hear their bed creaking, or the way he moaned whenever Shiro bucked up underneath him. They hadn’t even locked the bedroom door. 

“Takashi,  _ fuck _ .” Keith groaned, sitting himself down on Shiro’s thighs and rolling his hips. “How does your dick not fucking break me? Jesus.” He never felt fuller than when he rode him. “Touch me.”

Shiro’s hand floated up to follow Keith’s instructions when there was a knock on the front door. 

Keith froze. “Was that ours?” He blinked, quivering a bit as he looked back towards their bedroom door. “Should we um… Should we answer?”

Another knock. 

“What do we do?” Keith swallowed. “I-I can’t look at anyone right now.”

“I’ll get it.” Shiro said, giving Keith’s hips an affectionate squeeze before he let him pull off. “Just stay here.” 

“Are you sure?” Keith winced as he laid back on the bed, watching as Shiro hopped up and put on a robe. It was a tragedy to see him in black silk  _ leaving _ the bedroom. 

Shiro rolled his eyes when he heard the knock again and smacked a kiss to Keith’s cheek. “Be right back. Just wait for me.”

“Hurry.” Keith sighed before letting him leave. Who the fuck was knocking on their door in the middle of the evening? He heard Shiro open the door and sat up to try and listen a little better. He heard hushed voices and frowned. Was it someone Shiro knew?

He pushed himself up and tugged his underwear on, creeping out of the bedroom, so he could stand in the hallway and listen from around the corner. 

“Adam you can not  _ be here _ .” Shiro hissed and Keith’s blood ran cold. 

_ Since when is Adam still around _ ? He thought, his stomach hurting at the sound of Shiro whispering. They hadn’t seen him since they landed. He assumed he’d moved, or something, but maybe Shiro just hadn’t told him. Maybe Shiro was hiding him. 

“You don’t get to just fucking show up on my doorstep.” 

Keith heard the rage suppressed in Shiro’s voice and swallowed. 

“You think you can break up with me when I was fucking sick and just show up because I came back to Earth with a smidgen of fame or something?”

“Shiro what’s going on?” Keith couldn’t help himself as he walked out into the living room, his face red from the embarrassment of being in his underwear, but he couldn’t keep eavesdropping. His heart dropped when he saw him - Adam standing in their doorway in a lieutenant’s uniform.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Shiro said, turning to face him with big eyes. “I’m just telling him to leave.”

“W-Why is here?”

“Fuck, see Adam? You don’t just get to pop back in.” Shiro glared when he whipped around to face his ex again. “ _ Leave _ .”

Keith watched with a rapid heart rate as Adam stammered an apology and Shiro closed the door in his face. He felt like throwing up. “Takashi, I-I don’t know what’s going on. Why is Adam showing up? I-I didn’t even know he was still with the Garrison, why is… w-why is he trying to talk to you?” His breath started to pick up and Shiro rushed over, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Baby, Baby, hey.” Shiro murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I didn’t know either. Apparently, he just got back from a huge mission, so he just learned about Voltron and everything. H-He knew I was alive, but nothing else, so when he heard, I guess he…” Shiro grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. “He didn’t know we were together when he showed up here.”

“Did you  _ tell _ him?”

“No, but he saw you.” 

“Oh.” Keith looked down at himself and rolled his eyes. “Fuck, I’m practically naked.”

“I mean… I did kind of like that he came when he did. It’s obvious what we were just doing, maybe he got the message not to come back?”

“Takashi, I don’t want your ex-boyfriend knocking on our door when we’re having sex. He saw me in my underwear, no one’s…” He stopped and grimaced. “No one’s supposed to see me like this except you.”

“You didn’t have to run out here.”

“I didn’t have to run out here when I hear you talking to your ex?”

Shiro’s shoulders slumped. “Keith, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” He twitched a little and crossed his arms, staring down at the floor. “I-I don’t… I don’t want to fight. You were just so happy and I just saw someone who really, really hurt me, can we please not fight?”

Keith’s expression softened, seeing how anxious he was and took a deep breath. Shiro was right. There was no reason to let Adam of all people ruin their engagement high and Shiro looked pretty upset himself. “I’m not mad.” He sighed, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Shiro’s waist, pressing into his chest. “Sorry.”

“I don’t want to see him.” Shiro swallowed as he hugged him back. “I don’t want him to bother us, or stir up stupid drama. I just want to sit in our love nest, is that so much to ask?” He sighed and kissed the top of Keith’s head. “I really didn’t know.”

“It’s fine.” Keith said with a squeeze. “Don’t let him near you, okay? You’re all mine.”

“Oh yeah?” Shiro grinned. “Well all the cute guys around here better stay away from you too then.”

“What do you mean all the cute guys?”

“ _ Keith _ .”

**

Keith put the insecurities about Adam being in the picture on the back burner long enough to go back to bed with Shiro and serve dinner, but his stomach was hurting. He hadn’t forgotten all the jealousy from way back before Kerberos. He’d known back then that he was too young at the time to be with Shiro, but it had hurt him nonetheless seeing him with Adam. They were always holding hands, sitting close, even though Adam had been a dick who jumped ship because Shiro dared to have ambition despite his disease. If Keith had been with him back then, he never would have insisted he stay on Earth. The only reason he made the argument for Shiro to stay  _ now _ was to keep him safe. He’d gone through so much already and… holy shit, had he been doing what Adam did?

“Takashi?” Keith asked once they’d curled up on the couch in their pajamas, a cozy blanket resting over them as they watched another Best Picture they’d missed in space. 

“Yeah?” Shiro draped an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “What’s up?”

“Am I… A-Am I like Adam?”

“Huh?” Shiro blinked. “Keith, no. You’re nothing like him, why would you say that?”

“I just…” Keith bit his lip. “You hated him because he thought you shouldn’t go on any missions because you were sick and safer on Earth with him. I-I know that you’re not sick anymore, but… I-I want… I-I wanted you to stay on Earth because I think you’re safer here too.”

“Keith.” Shiro pushed his eyebrows together in concern. “Adam left me when I wanted to go to space in spite of that. He wanted to baby me and he talked down to me and he gave up on me the second I wanted him to sacrifice some of our time together to chase my dreams. You’ve  _ never _ given up on me.” He leaned forward and pressed a warm kiss to Keith’s lips. “I love that you want to protect and take care of me, but Adam only said he wanted to do those things so I would sit around the couch and be a partner he could brag about. You actually care and you’ve never given up on me no matter how hopeless my condition seemed.”

“Please don’t die in space. I’ll seriously kill you.” Keith said, his mouth wobbling a little as he leaned in to hug him. “You don’t think I’m like Adam?”

“Not even a little bit.” Shiro peppered him in a few kisses to his cheeks before they settled back into the couch. “I promise not to die in space.”

“Heard that one before.” Keith teased, nuzzling his cheek against Shiro’s shoulder. “You’re gonna need to start working out again to go back to space. Not that you’re not crazy muscular, but y’know, your heart and stuff.”

“Wanna come to the gym with me when I get home tomorrow?”

“Do you think people will look at us?”

“I’m sure they won’t. We haven’t sparred in a long time.”

“We haven’t sparred since we started fucking for a reason.” Keith smiled. “Yeah, let’s go tomorrow.”

“Gym date.” Shiro smiled back, kissing the tip of his nose. “You look crazy sexy in your little workout clothes.”

“What? The t-shirt I cut up?”

“Yup.” Shiro teased as he nuzzled his nose against Keith’s hair. “You want to go to bed?”

“Mhm.” Keith yawned, letting Shiro pull him up from the couch, so they could head to the bedroom. 

“Come here.” Shiro cooed when they crawled under the covers, wrapping his arm around Keith and letting him nestle into his chest. “Hey, I love you. You’re  _ not _ Adam, okay? I don’t want you to worry about that.”

“Okay.” Keith sighed. “I love you too, Takashi.”

“Sleep tight, Baby.” Shiro murmured as he dipped down to give him a kiss goodnight, Keith shutting his eyes and relaxing against his touch. 

“You too.” Keith mumbled, already half asleep as Shiro pulled the covers over his shoulders. “Wake me if you need me.”

**

Keith woke up to Shiro groaning in his sleep, the sheets damp with sweat. “Shiro?” He mumbled as he pushed himself up, reaching over to shake Shiro’s shoulder. He was trembling. “Baby, hey.” He whispered, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Wake up, Takashi. Everything’s okay.”

Shiro twitched, his eyebrows pushed together and sweat beading on his forehead. Keith hated having to wake him up any way but gently, but sometimes it took that.

“Takashi,  _ wake up _ .” Keith whispered, shaking Shiro’s shoulder hard until his eyes flew open. 

Shiro was up like a shot, knocking Keith to the side as he sat up and hugged himself, hyperventilating. 

“Hey, hey.” Keith cooed, reaching over to rub his back. “You’re safe, Takashi. It’s just me. It’s Keith.”

“Holy shit.” Shiro choked out a sob and held his head in his hands, shoulders trembling under Keith’s touch. “Keith.”

“I’m right here, shh.” Keith murmured as he moved closer, wrapping his arm around Shiro’s shoulders and squeezing. “Come here.”

Shiro leaned over and collapsed into him, burrowing his face in Keith’s neck as he cried and wrapped his full arm around his waist. “Keith, do you hate me?”

“What?” Keith breathed. “Takashi, I could never, ever hate you. I love you. I-I want to marry you.”

“This isn’t a PTSD episode.” Shiro sniffled. 

“What do you mean?”

“I-I just had this horrible fucking dream like w-what if… W-What if you’d died before I made it back from Kerberos. When you thought I was dead and you told me how depressed you were a-and that you thought about…” Shiro’s breath picked up and Keith hugged him tight. “Keith, don’t leave me.”

“I am never leaving you. I’ll never think like that again, Shiro. It was only because I didn’t know if you’d come back. I-I hoped, but I didn’t know, and it’s okay because I stayed. I’ll always stay.” Keith whispered, pressing kisses into Shiro’s sweat soaked hair. “I’m right here. I’d never go anywhere.”

Shiro just sobbed and held onto him, his tears soaking the collar of Keith’s shirt as they stayed there, riding it out. It was eating at Keith that he didn’t know how Shiro would deal with attacks like this when he was out in space without someone to comfort him.

“I got you, Baby.” Keith murmured. “It’s okay. We’re both safe.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Keith planted another kiss on his forehead. “Hey, you’re super worked up. It’s been a little while, but do you want me run you a bath?”

“Get in with me?”

“Of course.” Keith untangled himself and pulled away, reaching a hand out to pull Shiro up from the bed. “Come with me.”

He lead Shiro into the bathroom and carefully stripped him down, kissing his neck and his shoulders, a few of the scars on his chest before he dropped Shiro’s boxers and leaned up to kiss his lips. “Deep breaths, okay? Did you take your meds?”

Shiro nodded.

“Good.” Keith gave Shiro’s bare hips a squeeze before he peeled out of his own pajamas and turned on the faucet. “Come get in.”

Shiro held tight to Keith’s hand and sat down in the tub as the water started to slowly rise. “Thanks, Keith.”

“God, I’m sorry you’re having these nightmares.” Keith said, kneeling next to the thumb and carding his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “You okay?”

“Just embarrassed now.” Shiro sighed, sliding down a bit as the water rose over his thighs. “I feel like a little kid when I freak out like this. It wasn’t even a flashback this time.”

“It was still upsetting. You have anxiety, Takashi. Lots of things that aren’t explicitly war can set it off.” Keith leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Nothing to be ashamed of. Think of all the little things that can send me into a panic attack, yeah? I’m not gonna judge you.”

“I know, I just... “ He shrugged his shoulders. “I hate feeling this way and keeping you up at night when I’m freaking out over nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.” Keith reached over and turned off the water.

“Come here.” Shiro held his arms open and scootched back, leaving his legs spread, so Keith could climb into the tub and sit between them. 

“Mm.” Keith sighed, sinking into the hot water and leaning back against Shiro’s chest. “Just hold on to me.”

Shiro wrapped his arm around Keith’s waist and pressed a few kisses into his hair. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“You’re usually the one taking care of me.”

“I don’t know about that.” Shiro laughed. “Let’s just agree we’re both messes who need to be taken care of.”

“I’ll second that.” Keith smiled, turning his head to nuzzle his cheek against Shiro’s shoulder. “Sleep in tomorrow morning. I’ll lay out your clothes and get everything ready.”

“Keith-”

“I want to.”

“Alright.” Shiro conceded, too tired to argue as they sat in the water. “I love you.”

Keith smiled a little wider and put his hand over Shiro’s, squeezing. “I know, Takashi.”

**

Keith woke up an hour early the next morning to lay out Shiro’s clothes, make his lunch a little more fun than usual, put some coffee on and whip up a healthy breakfast. He had Shiro’s clothes on the dresser, his lunch box ready, and breakfast on the table by the time he crawled back under the covers to wake him up with a blowjob. Sure, maybe it was a little gratuitous, but he knew how those anxiety attacks could affect Shiro’s self esteem and if he didn’t leave feeling confident, he was going to have a horrible day trying to get bratty homophobic kids to respect him. 

Keith was quick and efficient, letting Shiro pull his hair all he wanted and swallowing every drop of what he released.  _ Bet Adam could never make you cum that quick, _ he thought when he rose up, sliding over Shiro to give him a deep kiss. “Breakfast is ready.” He grinned at Shiro’s lovestruck expression. “Come eat and get dressed, Big Guy.”

“You’re gonna kill me, Keith.” Shiro sighed, shaking his head before pulling Keith into a sleepy kiss and holding him close. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Keith smiled. 

“No, like I  _ love _ you. I just want to stay in bed with you all day.” Shiro mumbled as he moved to rest his head on Keith’s shoulder. “Come see me at lunch.”

“I will.” Keith promised, planting a kiss on the top of Shiro’s head. “Go get dressed. I’m gonna go brush your nut out of my teeth.”

“Keith, gross.”

**

Keith wore a shorter pair of shorts than he’d usually wear for the gym and put on a cropped t-shirt that put his abs on display for their little work out date. Being honest, he kind of just wanted to flex on Adam if he happened to run into him, but mostly, he wanted to tease Shiro a little bit. It was cute when he could make him get all hot and bothered and it’d make for great sex when Shiro came home from work. 

He packed a duffel bag with a quick change of clothes and a water bottle before heading out to meet him, his heart light with the prospect of some time with Shiro in the middle of the day. 

He locked up the apartment and headed out to the Garrison gym, putting his things away in the locker room when he felt a familiar pair of hands on his waist. “Hey.” Keith laughed, turning around to find Shiro grinning at him. He’d changed into a tank top that showcased his biceps and a pair of basketball shorts Keith could do without, but he couldn’t complain at the sight of his fiancee’s thighs. Those things could crack a watermelon. 

“Do you wanna spar a bit?” Shiro asked, his hover hand still lingering on his hip. “The room’s open.”

“Sounds great.” Keith said, reaching over to take Shiro’s hand and thread their fingers together. “You ready?”

“Yeah, are you uh…” Shiro blinked down at their hands. “You okay with holding hands out there?”

“We’re getting married. I can’t censor our relationship forever.” Keith shrugged. “Let’s go.”

“Alright.” Shiro grinned, squeezing Keith’s hand as they walked out of the locker rooms and across the gym floor. 

Keith’s chest tightened when he felt some eyes on them, but he shook it off. He wanted to make every second with Shiro count before the mission and he wasn’t going to pretend they weren’t in love. Shiro deserved a fiancee who was proud of him. 

They entered the sparring room and tossed a large blue mat on the wooden floor, the rest of the gym floor still visible through the glass wall to the side. Keith’s goal was always to pin Shiro, but he didn’t want to hurt him the process. The idea of being slammed into the wood himself wasn’t too appealing either, so he made sure the mat wasn’t too hard when they set it down.

They fought like they usually did, playful, but competitive. Keith laughed every time Shiro’s hover hand swooped for his ankles and he was able to jump over it, grinning when Shiro blocked his high kicks, and blushing whenever their faces ended up a little close. He forgot how much fun they used to have fighting the gladiator robots in the castle. He didn’t like to remember that Shiro got much of his fighting skills from the Galra arena, but as long as he wasn’t being triggered, the sparring seemed fine. 

Keith eventually got the best of him, toppling Shiro down and pinning him to the mat with his hands on his wrists and his thighs straddling Shiro’s waist. “How’s it feel, Big Guy?” He teased, laughing a little at his victory until he saw Shiro’s eyes were wide and he realized. “Oh shit! I-I’m sorry.” Keith said as he jerked his hands away from Shiro’s wrists. “I-I forgot.”

Shiro blinked a few times and shook his head clear. “I’m good, don’t freak out.” He sighed. “Shit, sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry?” Keith bit his lip. “I forgot one of your triggers. That’s all on me.”

“It’s fine, Baby. It was just for a second.” Shiro flashed a soft smile and propped himself up on his elbows to press a kiss to Keith’s cheek. “Help me up, I’ll get you back.”

“Okay.” Keith breathed a sigh of relief and climbed off of him, holding his hand out for Shiro to take. 

They went for a few more rounds, Keith landing on his back twice before getting Shiro back again, avoiding holding his wrists down this time. He felt anxious about scaring him before, but they were still laughing and having fun, so he figured it was okay. He’d just lunged to try and get him again when someone weight lifting just outside the glass wall dropped a barbell. It hit the concrete floor with a  _ thwack! _ and Shiro froze, Keith slamming into him and knocking him into the ground with more force than he ever would have hit him with if he knew he wouldn’t dodge, or push back. 

“Shiro?” Keith stared wide-eyed as Shiro groaned and held his stomach. He’d knocked the wind out of him. “Takashi, wha… Why didn’t you push back o-or at least tense? What happened?”

“Sound caught me off guard.” Shiro winced from the mat. “Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Keith reached for him, but stopped when he heard the door to the room open and froze. He should have seen him coming through the glass, but he hadn’t been paying attention. Adam was glaring at them, dressed in gym clothes, so at least Keith wasn’t afraid he was purposefully stalking them, but his stomach ached at the sight of him. Of all times to bump into a shitty ex-boyfriend.

“Shiro you’re letting him hit you like that?” Adam growled, his fists clenched. 

“It was an accident and none of your business.” Shiro glared, taking Keith’s hand and letting him pull him up to his feet. Keith could feel his hand trembling in his grip and his heart sank. That sound had really rattled him. 

“You’re lying on the ground out of breath because you just got gut punched. That’s not my business?” Adam sneered and Keith gritted his teeth. Who the hell was Adam to act so high and mighty? “Who spars like that?”

“Leave him alone, Adam.” Keith glared back, wrapping a protective arm around Shiro’s waist. “Takashi, let’s just go back home, yeah? We worked out enough.” 

Shiro gave a weak nod and Keith glanced at his chest. His breathing was quick.

“I just saw you hit him, why would I let you walk away with him?”

“Adam you have no clue what the fuck you’re talking about.” Keith tightened his hold on Shiro. “Leave us alone.”

“Keith?” Shiro said, his voice wavering more than it had just a minute ago. He was on the edge of a panic attack. 

“Come on, I’m taking you home.” Keith murmured, trying to lead him out, but Adam stayed put in the doorway. “Fucking move, he needs to get home.”

“Why, so you can hit him again?” 

“Stop acting like you care about him, holy shit.” Keith clenched his fist. He needed to get Shiro out of there. A small trigger like a loud noise could turn into a full blown panic attack really fast. “You need to move.” 

“Keith.” Shiro tensed against him. “I-I… I-I need to go.”

“Takashi you should-” Adam started, but Shiro was quick to cut him off.

“ _ Adam _ .” Shiro glared at him, trembling against Keith as he stared Adam down. “You don’t know who the fuck I am anymore. I’m about to have a fucking panic attack and Keith is the one that knows how to take care of me, okay? Not you.”

Keith watched as the trembling turned to violent shaking, Shiro practically vibrating in his grip and he glanced down to see his knees were wobbling. He took the opportunity while Adam was in shock to hold Shiro’s waist and lead him out of the sparring room. “Hey, I’m gonna get you home, okay? Just take some deep breaths.”

Shiro nodded and breathed as they made their way across the gym floor, Keith rubbing his back as they headed back to the locker room.

“You okay?” Keith asked once they’d shut the door behind them. They were the only ones in the locker room for the time being, so he sat Shiro down on the bench and knelt down in front of him. “Hey, keep breathing.”

“Sorry.” Shiro winced, taking another deep breath that made his shoulders slumped. “I didn’t mean to fuck up our gym date, I just... That noise startled me and stupid  _ fucking _ Adam.” He huffed and ran a hand through his hair. “Why does he act like he’s entitled to me? He  _ left _ me.”

Keith’s heart twinged a bit at the anger, but he pushed it down. It wasn’t time to be jealous. Adam held a lot of hurt for Shiro and he needed to accept that if they were going to see him around. “Hey, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. He’s just being a dick.”

“He called me Takashi.” Shiro glared. “I mean that’s  _ your _ name for me now and when he said it, I just… I don’t know, it freaked me out. It brought back a lot of shitty memories hearing him say it.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith leaned up and planted a kiss on the corner of Shiro’s mouth. “Maybe we shouldn’t spar like that. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard, I just didn’t realize in time that you were scared.”

“I don’t want to give up stuff we enjoy just because I’m a mess.” Shiro shook his head. “I love sparring with you.”

“We’ll be more careful next time then. Do you think you can go back to work or do you want to try and come home?”

“I have to go.” Shiro grimaced. “I’ll be home before dinner though.”

“I’ll make something special.” Keith smiled just to reassure him and cupped his face in his hands, pulling him into a soft kiss before standing up to get their things. “We’ll have a chill night in, okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro breathed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for there to be drama, I just wanted to do something fun together.”

“It’s not your fault that Adam’s an asshole. I mean seriously, what the fuck is his issue?” Keith glared as he took his bag and pulled his water bottle out. “I don’t know what you saw in him.” He took a swig of water before holding it out to Shiro. 

Shiro looked sad again when he took it, his shoulders slumped as he took a few sips and handed it back. 

“What is it?”

“Don’t say stuff like that.” Shiro sighed. 

“What?” Keith’s chest tightened. 

“He was important to me. It was a long time ago, but… H-Him being back and acting like this hurts me. I thought if I ever saw him again, we could at least be friends, but then he just showed up at our door acting all demanding and I just…” Shiro grimaced and stood up, opening his own locker to get his uniform out. “I already feel like an idiot for giving him all those years of my life. Don’t rub it in.”

Keith’s stomach felt sick. He was supposed to be comforting Shiro, not making him more upset. What was wrong with him? They only had two months before Shiro was leaving for the mission. He didn’t have time to lose on fighting with him. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed. “I won’t say it again, I’m just mad he’s hurting you.” He watched Shiro peel out of his tank top and bit his lip. “Are you mad at me? Please don’t be, I-I’ll make your favorite for dinner tonight a-and I’ll find us a movie, maybe we can do wine and-”

“Hey, no.” Shiro said, shaking his head before turning around to press his lips to Keith’s forehead. “You’re fine. I’m just stressed out and you were really helpful dealing with him.”

“Are you sure?” Keith sighed. “I feel like I just fucked things up more.”

“You didn’t, I just don’t have my head on straight.” He brought his hand up to stroke the scar on Keith’s cheek and the gesture calmed him a bit. Shiro leaned in and gave him a proper kiss, letting his lips linger against Keith’s until he relaxed against his touch. 

“Okay.” Keith breathed. “I love you. Sorry about today.”

“Not our fault.” Shiro shrugged, pulling away to finish getting dressed. “I’ll see you at home.”

**

Even knowing Shiro wasn’t mad at him, Keith’s anxiety was through the roof when he got home. He vacuumed the whole apartment, got the laundry in, and made the bed before starting dinner. They didn’t have a ton of groceries at the moment, but he broke out the juicer Shiro liked and made him some of that nasty kale shit he loved. He’d found recipes online and Shiro seemed to light up every time he made some kind of green juice. 

He tossed a salad to go with it and made some stir fry tofu, sprinkling some protein powder into the juice to try and make up for not having meat for the night. 

Keith tried not to think about what Shiro said earlier. It was normal for Shiro to have some kind of lasting feelings about Adam. They were together for a long time and the break up had really hurt Shiro, but it still made him jealous that Shiro was defensive when Keith insulted him earlier. He just knew he’d spiral if he dwelled on it though, so he did all he could to make the apartment nice for Shiro to come home to. 

Before Shiro came home, Keith took a quick shower and slipped into the robe Shiro had bought him, red silk that stopped halfway up his thighs. He finished drying his hair just as he heard the front door opening. 

“Hi.” Keith smiled when he walked out into the living room, his hair still a little wet around the ends. “Was the rest of your day okay?”

“Hey.” Shiro smiled back, his eyes soft as he dropped his briefcase and walked up to hug him. “It was fine. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Keith laughed, his anxiety quelling as he hugged him back. Shiro was always warm. “Dinner’s on the table. Do you want to change first?”

“Sure, did you clean up?” Shiro asked as he looked around. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I mean, you work really hard. I don’t mind doing it.”

“You’re sweet.” Shiro grinned, pecking Keith’s forehead before letting go of him to walk off and get changed.

Keith went back to the kitchen while Shiro got changed and got out the good wine, setting it on the counter with two glasses to use once they were finished. He made sure the motion to open the cabinet made one arm of the robe slip down his shoulder too, making for the perfect image when Shiro walked in - dressed in a pair of sweats and a comfy t-shirt. Keith loved seeing him comfortable.

“You know you look insanely good right now, right?” Shiro blinked. “You can’t not be doing this on purpose.”

“Just a little.” Keith shrugged, turning around to come and give him a kiss. “Come eat, Big Guy. I want to have sex and movie night.”

“My favorite night.” Shiro sighed as he walked to the table and took a seat. “This looks so fucking good, Baby. Really.” He smiled as he dug in, taking his first bite when Keith sat across from him. “‘M sorry about earlier.” He mumbled with his mouth half full. 

“It’s okay. I’m just um… I’m a little territorial with you.” Keith said, stroking his foot up Shiro’s calf under the table. “The whole bonding thing? I’m gonna try and not be confrontational, but Shiro I can’t help hating that guy. He hurt you back then and he’s hurting you now.”

“Yeah.” Shiro grimaced. “It sucks, but he’ll get the message.”

“I just…” Keith shifted a bit. “I hate that he’s causing drama. You’re going on that mission soon and I’m about to start school, I don’t want to waste any time with you arguing about your ex-boyfriend. I want every second with you before you go to space again to be good.”

“Oh, Baby.” Shiro frowned, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. “Hey, don’t put that pressure on. I’m gonna give you every free second I have before I go, but we always have our downs yeah? I might have an attack, or even you might have one, and we’ll deal with it like we always do. Don’t worry about Adam. I’m sorry I let him get to me today.”

“Okay.” Keith sighed, holding his hand back and squeezing. He felt better hearing Shiro say that. He didn’t want to be the only one desperate for time together before the mission. “Finish your salad, I need you to fuck me before the movie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave comments / kudos!


	15. Launch Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith spent the night awake, holding Shiro against his chest as he slept and praying that he would come home safe. He couldn’t stop shaking, but he didn’t dare wake him up. Shiro needed all of his energy for tomorrow. 
> 
> He dragged himself out of bed at three in the morning. Shiro’s bags were already on board the ship, but Keith laid out the flight suit he needed to change into and went to make him a good last breakfast. The food out on Garrison missions was horrendous, so he made him some pancakes with eggs and bacon to give him a proper send off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, quick note - I will be continuing this fic as if it is just post season 7 like I started it. I hope this fic helps y'all if you're struggling with season 8 <3 I will be continuing to write it along with my other sheith fics and I hope you all continue reading too

The next two months were gone in a flash. They decided to postpone any actual wedding planning until Shiro was back from the Balmera mission, but Keith distracted himself from his looming first day of school and Shiro’s launch date by planning out concepts and color schemes, drafting a tentative guest list. Kosmo would be the ring bearer  _ obviously _ , but Lance, Hunk, and Matt were really going to have to duke it out over best man. They could have two possibly, but three might be a little much. Maid of honor belonged to Pidge. 

Keith swore a sigh of relief when they got Shiro’s launch time. He’d be boarding the ship at five in the morning, which sucked as far as getting up on time, but was great because Keith wouldn’t have to miss his first classes to see him off. 

Keith spent the night awake, holding Shiro against his chest as he slept and praying that he would come home safe. He couldn’t stop shaking, but he didn’t dare wake him up. Shiro needed all of his energy for tomorrow. 

He dragged himself out of bed at three in the morning. Shiro’s bags were already on board the ship, but Keith laid out the flight suit he needed to change into and went to make him a good last breakfast. The food out on Garrison missions was horrendous, so he made him some pancakes with eggs and bacon to give him a proper send off. 

At four, Keith crept back in and bent down to kiss Shiro’s forehead. “Time to get up, Baby. Breakfast is ready.”

“Already?” Shiro yawned. “I wanna sleep.”

“Me too, but I cooked you breakfast, so up.” Keith teased, smacking another kiss to Shiro’s cheek before helping him out of bed. “Come, I’ll sit with you.”

They sat in the dim light of their kitchen, Keith trying to memorize everything he could as he watched Shiro eat. The unmissable scar across his nose, the sleepy look on his face, how his hair looked when he just rolled out of bed. He was going to miss it every morning for the next four weeks. 

“Thanks for cooking.” Shiro yawned. “I’m so tired.”

“Drink your coffee. Your flight suit’s laid out, so you can just put it on and we’ll get out the door when you’re done.”

“You’re so fucking helpful.” He sighed. “I promise I’ll call you as soon as I can out there. I wanna hear all about your first day.”

“I’ll write everything down.” Keith smiled, trying to stifle the anxiety in his chest. He didn’t feel too scared about his first day anymore. Shiro had taken him to the campus and they did a walk through of his schedule. He only had three classes today, all back to back, but with plenty of time in between to get there without being late. Next day, he only had two, so it didn’t feel too overwhelming. What had him ready to break down in tears was the thought of saying goodbye at the launchpad. Last time he did that, Shiro didn’t come back. 

They ate quietly, Keith locking his ankle around Shiro’s under the table and just watching him until he finished. “Do you think you’ll be able to call tonight?”

“I’m gonna do everything I can to.” Shiro nodded. “Matt’s onboard and the other two crew members are young. They have a lot of respect for me and I think they’ll be understanding if I go off to talk to you a lot. They know about the PTSD and you help with that. Plus, I’m gonna miss you like crazy.”

“Just make sure you check the timezone here, so I’m not in class. I don’t want to miss a call.” Keith said as he stood up and cleared Shiro’s dishes. “You should go get dressed.”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighed. “Hey, thanks for letting me do this. Seriously. It means a lot.”

“I just want you to be happy.” Keith said as he set the dishes in the sink. “If you need this to be happy, I can’t not let you.” His shoulders slumped as he said it, but he heard Shiro get up. When he turned the water on to rinse his plate, Shiro’s arms snaked around his waist and his lips started pressing warm kisses down his neck. “Takashi.” He breathed. “Don’t. I’ll cry, seriously.”

“Sorry.” Shiro smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Keith swallowed before Shiro pulled away and walked out to go get dressed. His stomach hurt. 

Keith dried the dishes and walked back into the bedroom just as Shiro finished pulling on the flight suit - gray and orange and perfectly skin tight. He looked like a dream. Keith brushed past him and pulled on a pair of clean dark jeans and a t-shirt before grabbing Shiro’s hoodie from the closet to wear. It was still dark and chilly out in the desert. 

“You look really cute.” Shiro said, coming up from behind to hug him again and press a kiss into his hair. “It was really nice of you to get up so early. Sleep a little before your first class, okay?”

“I will.” Keith nodded, turning around in his arms and pressing into the hug, squeezing Shiro as tight as he could like it might be one of his last chances. “Please come back to me, Takashi. Don’t get hurt out there.”

“I promise.” Shiro cooed, his hand stroking down Keith’s back. “I’ll be back right on time.”

“Signal me at any sign of trouble at all okay? I’ll jump in Black and I’ll come save you any time there’s a threat.” The ship they were heading out in wasn’t equipped to fight - which made sense for a research mission, but if they encountered trouble it wouldn’t do them any good. 

“I will, Baby, but I promise I won’t need it.” Shiro pulled back and pushed the hair out of Keith’s eyes before leaning in to kiss him. 

Keith poured his whole heart into that kiss, melting right against Shiro, trying to translate without words the intensity of the love he felt. He’d do anything to keep Shiro right there at home, but he couldn’t. “I love you so fucking much.” He croaked when they parted, squeezing Shiro again and tucking his face into the safety of Shiro’s shoulder. “You have to be safe.”

“I love you too, Keith. I will be.”

**

Keith kept it together at the launch - barely. The paladins came too to see Shiro off, so he stood between Pidge and Hunk, eyes welling as he watched the ship go up into the sky and out of sight. His heart ached. 31 days. A whole month without Shiro, without knowing if he was truly safe or not. 

“It’ll be okay.” Pidge whispered, reaching over to grab his hand when he started trembling. “Call me later today and let me know how you’re doing, okay?”

“Okay.” Keith croaked, his lips quivering as he strained his eyes to try and still see the ship in the distance, but it was already long gone. “Thanks, Pidge.”

“Any time, Keith. Be strong for us, okay? If the apartment gets lonely, or you need help with school, just come and see me.”

“You can always come to my place too.” Hunk said, clapping him on the back. “We’ll stuff you until you can’t feel anything at all anymore, let alone worry. Shiro’s gonna be fine.”

“We’ve said that a lot before.” Keith sighed, finally letting his head drop. “Thanks for coming you guys.” They’d come for Shiro, but it was evident they’d come for him too. Everyone had a worried eye on him once the ship left the ground. “I-I’m gonna head home and catch a nap before class starts. I’ll see you guys around.”

Keith let them say some quick goodbyes and left, blinking back the tears welling in his eyes. Shiro already felt so far away and he hated that he had to face school without him. He was sweating as he walked back to their apartment and hoped to God Shiro would really be able to call him later that night. He needed to hear that he was okay after launching. 

When he made it back home, he kept his clothes on and flopped down on the bed, clutching Shiro’s pillow to his chest like a lifeline. 

_ It’s just a month. You’ll get through it for him _ . Keith thought to himself as he tried to find the peace of mind to sleep.  _ Just a month _ .

**

Keith found himself fidgeting through his classes. The rooms were crowded, every desk full and he took a seat in the back each time. He still felt warm, but chalked it up to anxiety. His first class was intro to abnormal psychology, which he was most excited for, but they just spent an hour going over the syllabus. Next was a class on developmental which started to get into the content a little bit towards the end, but he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be something he enjoyed as much as abnormal. 

He was sitting in the back row of the last class of the day - an ethics in psychology course - when he realized what was happening. Was he a fucking idiot? He’d been so anxious about Shiro’s launch that he’d been completely ignoring the calendar. He hadn’t been paying attention to his body as much and had written off any weird feelings as anxiety over Shiro leaving. Sure, it hadn’t been exactly a month since his last cycle, but it was never exactly on time. This was the beginning of a heat episode.

Keith crossed his legs and bit his lip, trying to pay attention and praying that the symptoms wouldn’t hit him full force until the class ended as he felt sweat forming on his skin. Of course this shit would happen to him on his first day of college - his first day without Shiro to take care of him. It wasn’t too bad yet. He felt hot, but he wasn’t hard. He could just feel the pressure building between his legs, his body starting to twitch and warmth building in his stomach. 

His mind wandered in a moment of weakness to his beginning arousal, picturing Shiro in that thong that always made him want to top and his dick responded way too quickly, pressing against the denim of his jeans. His face turned red as he crossed his legs harder, keeping one hand in his lap to cover it. 

_ Ten minutes left _ . Keith’s face was red as he watched the clock. He couldn’t hear a single word from the instructor and it took all of his strength not to press his hand down and give himself some friction. He wanted to fucking cry. He was mortified, but all his body wanted was release. It didn’t hurt badly yet, but the desperation was there and he felt himself starting to shake - thankfully not hard enough to be noticable, but he didn’t have a clue how he was going to get up from his desk without anyone noticing the tent pitched in his jeans.

_ Five minutes left _ . Keith blinked back tears and stared down at his desk, his temperature seeming to rise more every minute. How had he not tracked this? How was he even going to go to his classes tomorrow? The classroom was so crowded, he wouldn’t be able to get out without  _ someone _ noticing he was hard enough to cut glass. This whole thing was a mistake. 

_ One minute left _ . Keith rubbed himself as subtly as he could through the jeans, just putting some pressure on with the heel of his hand and giving himself the tiniest bit of friction to keep it from getting painful, but the humiliation and anxiety of someone noticing made his eyes well. Why couldn’t anything just go right for him? It was his first day and he had to face it by himself in a fucking heat cycle. 

The second the instructor moved to end class and backpacks started zipping, he was up like a shot, holding his notebook in his lap to cover the bulge as he bolted out of the room. Bathroom. He needed to find a fucking bathroom. 

He walked down the hall as fast as he could without running, searching for the men’s room until he found a unisex single stall and sighed in relief, stepping inside and quickly locking the door behind him. Shit, he was burning up. 

Keith dropped his things to the floor and palmed over himself, sniffling when it didn’t provide any relief. How was he going to get out of there? He’d walked to campus and he didn’t have any way of relieving himself. He tested out the toy Shiro bought him and while it didn’t provide him much of the emotional release he needed, it did get the job done physically. He’d have to get home to use it.

The realization hit him and he leaned against the door, sliding all the way down until he was sitting on the floor and could hold his head in his hands. He was stuck. Shiro was the only person who could help in this situation and he’d fucked off to god damn space. He bit his lip to keep from making noise as the tears broke past his eyelids, falling down his cheeks as he started to ache between his legs. He wasn’t going to be able to leave by himself. 

Keith pulled his phone from his back pocket and trembled as he pulled up Pidge’s contact. It may be humiliating, but she was the only person besides Shiro who knew about his cycles. She might be able to pick him up, but he was so anxious, he was shaking as he called her. 

“Keith? What’s up?”

“Pidge can you…” His voice wobbled as he tried to whisper. “C-Can you come and pick me up at the community college?”

“Yeah, of course. What’s going on?”

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Keith croaked, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “My cycle started in fucking class. I’m stuck in a bathroom and I can’t leave a-and I don’t have a jacket or anything to cover it up.” A small cry escaped his lips, but he bit his lip to shut it off, squeezing his eyes shut as he willed himself not to fucking sob. 

“Oh, Keith… I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I’ll be right there. Just give me fifteen minutes and I’ll come find you. I’ll bring one of Matt’s hoodies too, so you can cover up.”

“Thank you.” He swallowed, fidgeting as he tried to find a way to sit comfortably. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be. Send me your location okay? I’m leaving now.”

“Okay. See you soon.” Keith sniffled before hanging up. This was disgusting. He could already feel his clothes growing damp from the sweat and it was hurting more by the second. The pre-come leaking from his tip was already soaking through his underwear and leaving a wet spot on his jeans, but even with the stinging in his balls, he couldn’t work up the nerve to try and touch himself. It would barely relieve anything if he did, but God, it was torture just having to sit there. 

He sent his location to Pidge and waited, taking deep breaths as he stuffed his hands between his thighs to hold himself through the damp jeans. Fuck, it hurt even worse knowing he was going back to an empty apartment. On his last heat cycle, Shiro had taken perfect care of him. He fucked him until he had the first orgasm to relieve the symptoms, then spent the next hour touching him in all the best ways, sucking him to a second one, so he would sleep through the night. Now he had to deal with it on his own. 

Keith jerked out of his thoughts at a knock on the bathroom door, heart leaping to his throat until he heard Pidge whisper from the other side. 

“It’s me, Keith. I brought the jacket.”

He scrambled up and opened the door a crack, holding his hand out for the jacket until she gave it to him and he shut the door again. “Thanks.” He sighed, putting his notebook away and pulling his backpack on. He draped the jacket over his arm and held it in front of himself before stepping out of the bathroom, his face red with both fever and embarrassment as he looked at her. “You have Matt’s car right?”

“Yeah, come with me.” She nodded, leading him down the hallway. 

Keith shivered. His temperature was getting high enough to cause chills and his teeth were chattering as they walked. 

“I had no idea it was this bad.” Pidge frowned. “Was it supposed to start today?”

“T-Technically it was supposed to start in a few days, but I wasn’t even paying attention. I’ve been too freaked out about Shiro leaving and now he’s gone and everything’s turned fucking awful in less than twenty-four hours.” He swallowed hard as they stepped out into the parking lot. 

“I’m sorry, Keith.” Pidge frowned, opening the passenger side door of the car for him. “You’re welcome to come to my place any time, but this seems like something you need alone time for.”

“Yeah.” He grimaced as he got into the car. “Thank you though.”

The ride was painful, keeping the jacket bundled in his lap to spare Pidge of anymore awkwardness than what she was already dealing with. His heart ached just thinking about taking care of the issue himself when he got home. 

They didn’t talk for the ride back to the Garrison, Pidge pulling right up to the apartment building and parking on the curb. “You gonna be okay?” She frowned. “Can the temperature make you pass out or anything?”

“I’m gonna take some Tylenol for the fever.” Keith sighed. “Thanks for taking me. I’d hug you, but I’m really gross right now.”

“Don’t worry about it. Text me that you’re okay later, yeah?”

Keith gave a weak nod and undid his seatbelt. “I will. Thanks, Pidge.” He climbed out of the car, keeping the jacket held over his lap as he walked into the building. 

His hands trembled once he made his way to their front door, taking a few tries to get the key in the lock before he managed to get it open. 

Keith dropped everything by the front door and locked it behind him, making sure all the curtains were drawn and windows closed as he retreated to the bedroom, locking that door too. 

He was quick to peel out of his damp clothes, wincing as he fumbled their nightstand drawer open and removed the toy. He did like it. It was a clear pink plastic and while it wasn’t shaped like a penis, it did have about the same length and width of Shiro’s, so it fit comfortably. It just wasn’t the same.

He laid down on the bed and quickly slicked up his fingers, breathing in relief when he eased the first one in and stroked himself with his free hand. It wasn’t nearly as comforting as Shiro, but it did relieve the pain. He stretched himself fast, working his fingers in one at a time until he was open enough for the toy not to hurt him and slicked it up when he was ready. 

He flicked the switch at the base of the toy, rotating the dial to turn it on high as he eased it inside of himself with a groan. “Fuuuuck.” He huffed, pushing it in deep and upward angled to press right against his prostate. That was the spot. 

Keith kept his eyes shut as he went to work, picturing all the things Shiro usually did to try and make the heat relief pleasurable and not just necessary. He thought of Shiro in that thong again and how gorgeous his ass looked in it. He thought about fucking in the black lion after they’d gotten engaged just a few months ago and he remembered how Shiro’s cock tasted in his mouth, like the skin of his neck, but just a little salty and so god damn  _ warm _ . He imagined Shiro’s hand running down his side, caressing his skin. Keith let go of his cock for  a moment to drag his nails up the inside of his thigh like Shiro would so often do for him. 

He had to work for the orgasm, but it eventually came (pun intended). His legs shook with it as he bit down on his fist to smother the noise, collapsing when he finished, covered in sweat, cum on his stomach and his inner thighs slick with lube as he removed the toy. Without Shiro to kiss him and say all that reassuring shit, he felt grosser than ever. 

_ No wonder Shiro doesn’t mind getting away from this _ . Keith grimaced as he peeled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a cold shower, setting the toy on the side of the tub, so he’d remember to clean it for later. He wasn’t going to cry. It was all just a chemical issue. He was bonded to Shiro and going through heat on the first day without him. The cycle made him emotional and, fuck, he knew all of this, but his heart still ached. Krolia had been right. It wasn’t a great idea for them to be separated, but what was he supposed to do? Tie Shiro down just because he had some stupid emotional alien condition?

He cleaned up the bed when he got out and put on some light pajamas before moving to the couch to watch TV and take his mind off it. Hopefully, he’d get a few hours before the next episode, but he probably wasn’t going to get much sleep.

Keith curled up on the couch with Shiro’s pillow and watched some mindless TV, microwaving dinner, and running an action movie marathon until he felt like he could go to bed. The data pad still hadn’t lit up. No call from Shiro. He took it with him to the bedroom - just in case - and was just getting under the covers when it finally vibrated with an incoming call.  _ He’s safe _ .

“Shiro?” Keith fumbled to answer the call and breathed a sigh of relief when Shiro’s image came up. He was in a small room with a bunk - Keith remembered what the quarters on those small ships were like. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah Baby, I’m great. We just left the milky way.” Shiro grinned, still in his flight suit. 

“How was it?” Keith could feel his eyes glowing just from the excitement of seeing him. “Did everything work? You haven’t encountered any aliens?”

“It went perfectly, Sweetheart.” Shiro assured, using the cheesy nickname to make him blush and it worked. “The ship runs great. It’s a little cramped, but I’m loving it out here. I miss you though. How was your first day?”

“Um.” Keith bit his lip. He didn’t want to give him anything to worry about - not when he was having so much fun flying again. 

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged. “Class went fine.”

“Keith.” Shiro frowned. “Hey, talk to me.”

“You have enough to worry about out there.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what’s going on with you.”

“It was fine, Takashi.”

“Babe.” Shiro pushed his eyebrows further together. “You’re my fiancé. I need to know how you’re doing..”

Keith’s mouth wobbled and he shook his head. 

“It was that bad?”

“I…” His lip quivered and he hated how the cycle made it so hard for him to control his emotions. All the sobs he’d held back throughout the day came crashing down. “I started my fucking cycle.” Keith cried, leaning his head on his hands as the tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I went into heat in  _ class _ . Pidge had to pick me up because I-I didn’t know how to get home without someone seeing and it was hurting a-and I don’t know if anyone in class noticed I had a stupid fucking hard on and was just too polite to say anything. I don’t know how I’m gonna go tomorrow a-and it’s mandatory attendance for the first day of each class, but it’s bad. It’s so bad, Takashi.” He picked his head up and wiped his eyes, trying to get a hold of himself, but his chest was aching again. He wanted Shiro to hold him. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to tell you all this, but-”

“Baby… You poor thing, I’m so sorry.” Shiro breathed. “That’s horrible. You don’t deserve that at all. I completely forgot it was around that time of the month.”

“Me too.” Keith sniffled. 

“Were you able to take care of yourself?”

Keith gave a weak nod, his eyes lighting up the dim bedroom with his embarrassment. “It’s not the same without you. I-I don’t want to make you feel guilty, but fuck, I just feel disgusting and horrible without you here to coax me through it.”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro sighed. “You must be in a lot of pain.”

“It’s fine.” Keith sniffled. “I just feel stupid breaking down like this. I’m so fucking emotional when this happens, I hate it.”

“I promise I’ll make things up to you when I get back.” Shiro’s shoulders slumped. “Were your classes okay otherwise?”

“I guess.” He shrugged, wiping his eyes. “They seem cool, I just couldn’t really focus.”

“Are you gonna be able to go tomorrow?”

“I-I don’t know, I mean I have to, or I’ll get dropped. I don’t think I can get a doctor’s note that says I’m a sex maniac for about three days every month.” He sniffled. “I think I-I’m gonna have to take a shit ton of Tylenol, get myself off and go to the first class, come back and do it again and then go to the second one. I have an hour and a half between them, so I think I can do it, but it runs the risk of me getting fucking hard in class again.”

“I’m sure you’ll pull it off.” Shiro said, his eyes still sad and concerned. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there today.”

“It’s fine.” Keith’s mouth wobbled. It wasn’t. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighed. “Is there anything I can do to help you for tomorrow? I know I can call again tomorrow night. We could try some kind of Skype sex thing?”

The corners of Keith’s mouth tugged up a bit at that. “Space phone sex?” He smiled. “Yeah that might be kind of fun. Just make sure you’re completely alone, yeah? Lock your door.”

“Will do.” Shiro grinned. He seemed relieved just to be helping somehow. “Hey, just think about all the wedding planning we’re gonna do when I get back. I’m still thinking white suit, yeah? Do you think I’ll look like an icicle with my hair?”

“I think you’ll look great.” Keith smiled. “We’re so traditional with the black and white.”

“But you’re gonna look so handsome in a tux.” 

Keith blushed a bit. “Thanks, Shiro. I’ll work on some color schemes while you’re gone.”

“Awesome. Hey, I have to get going, but I’ll call tomorrow, okay? I promise. Stay strong for me.”

“Yeah.” Keith nodded and took a shaky deep breath. He felt better knowing Shiro was still concerned for him, as far away as he was. “Thanks, Shiro. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Keith smiled again. “Bye.”

“Sweet dreams.” Shiro said before hanging up the call and leaving Keith in the dark.

He still felt like shit, but not as bad as he’d felt twenty minutes ago. Kind of felt good to cry it all out and hear Shiro’s voice - although it didn’t compare to actually being held by him. 

Keith put the vibrator on the nightstand with the lube, a glass of water, and some medicine to bring his fever back down for when he inevitably woke up in the middle of the night. He could at least be efficient. 

He shut the bedside lamp off and pulled the comforters up to his shoulders. He’d taken the time earlier to put the cheap sheets on the bed. No doubt, he’d sweat right through them. Usually Shiro changed them halfway through the night.   

**

Keith was up every other hour, tense and sweating, the sheets soaked through. He took care of himself each time, but he only felt worse without Shiro as the night went on. He cried it out again at four in the morning before passing out for good.

In the morning, he remade the bed with clean sheets, took a desperately needed shower and forced himself to get off one more time for safety before going to class. 

Once he got to campus, he couldn’t focus on a word from the professor. He couldn’t tell if the classroom was warm, or if he was heating up, cringing at himself every time he shifted position in his seat in case it set off a hard on. This was fucking ridiculous. He took notes as best he could, but was out of the room in a flash as soon as it wrapped up. He was warm again and if he didn’t take care of himself preemptively, he’d be sweating through his clothes in his next class. 

It was rough and unwanted when he got home - a painful ten minutes of too much friction and pressure, but he wrung himself out again and changed clothes. It’d buy him enough time to get through the day. 

He was just pulling on a fresh shirt when the data pad lit up on the nightstand with an incoming call. For a moment, he glared at it. Shiro could call all he wanted, but it wasn’t the same as him being there. Still, it wasn’t the night time. He was calling early and something could be wrong.

Keith plopped down on the bed and swiped the screen, Matt’s image popping up immediately. He looked like he was in the cock pit. “Matt?” He frowned. “What’s going on? Where’s Shiro?”

“He’s okay.” Matt grimaced. “I-I mean, he’s not, that’s why I’m calling, but he’s not hurt.”

Keith’s heart plummeted. “What do you mean? W-What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s freaking out.”

“What do you mean?”

“He went down for a nap and we heard screaming coming from the room, so we ran to see what was wrong, but he was just asleep?” Matt winced. “We woke him up and he flipped out, couldn’t breathe right. He’s a little better now, but he’s shaking all over and he threw up a few minutes ago. Can you talk to him? I heard you’re the only one that can actually manage him like this.”

“Put him on.” Keith swallowed. “Get him on with me.”

Matt nodded and the screen paused for a moment, Keith listening to the shuffling until it came back and Shiro was on the screen, sitting in his bunk with his eyes pink and puffy, his face wet. Even in the video, Keith could see him shaking like a leaf and any resentment he had faded away. 

“Hey, Baby what happened?” Keith cooed, his eyes wide with concern as he looked him over. It hurt not being able to hug him. “Was it just a nightmare?”

“Yeah.” Shiro sniffed. “A bad one. I-I’m sorry, were you able to make it to class today?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me. Are you okay?”

“Just shaken up.” Shiro sighed. “Ugh, it was so embarrassing, I mean Matt’s one thing, but the whole crew heard me screaming my head off like I’m crazy.”

“You took your meds right?”

He nodded. 

“Takashi, you can’t help having panic attacks. Your PTSD is serious, I’m sure everyone understood.”

“It’s just hard to lead when everyone thinks you’re weak.” Shiro mumbled, running a hand through his hair. 

“You’re not weak.” Keith said, his chest aching at the look on Shiro’s face. “Baby, you’re the strongest person there is. No one has survived more than you. You’re still the best pilot the Garrison has ever known and  _ everyone _ looks up to you. I always have. This won’t change how they see you.”

“You think?”

“Never changed how I saw you.” Keith smiled. “Take some deep breaths for me, okay?”

Shiro did and Keith relaxed a little. 

“Hey I love you.” Keith said. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Shiro breathed. “Thanks, Keith. I love you too.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for this. You’re dealing with enough.”

“I never mind helping you.” Keith frowned. “Do you uh…” He chewed his lower lip a bit. “Do you think you can still call tonight and help me?”

“Of course.” Shiro smiled at him. “I’ll call you when the crew’s asleep.”

“Okay.” Keith blushed, his eyes warming a little bit. 

“Aw your eyes are glowing.”

“You know how mushy I get when I’m like this.” Keith sighed. “I have to head back to campus, but I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Shiro. Be safe.”

“I will.” Shiro nodded, still smiling. “Talk to you later, Keith.”

Keith hung up the call and set the tablet on the nightstand before slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Maybe he shouldn’t be pissed off. It was hard for Shiro to be away from him too. 

**

He decided to make a night out of their scheduled cybersex. He was hot again when it came time for Shiro’s call, just on the verge of desperate, so he cleaned himself up a bit beforehand and put on the nice underwear he’d bought for their black lion date. They kind of felt lucky now - having worn them for the first time they slept together after getting engaged. He washed up, so he wouldn’t look too sweaty and made sure the bed looked nice, propping the data pad up on a pillow for Shiro’s call - the toy cleaned and set beside him with the lube. 

Keith’s heart jumped when an incoming call came in from Shiro, his mouth watering as he swiped to answer. “Hey.” He grinned. 

“Whoa.” Shiro laughed when he saw him. He was sitting in his bunk, dressed down in a comfy t-shirt that made Keith’s cheeks warm. He looked so cute and comfy. “You dressed up?”

“I figured you’d probably had a long day and might uh… I don’t know, like it?” Keith blushed, glancing down at himself. He was only wearing the underwear. 

“I love it.” Shiro said with that soft smile that always made him melt. “Get through your second class, okay?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighed, rubbing his hands down his thighs to keep from touching himself. He was already hard, but not painfully so. “I’ll tell you about it later.” 

“Someone’s eager.”

“Someone’s in fucking heat.” Keith laughed, rubbing one hand over his bulge. “Thanks for doing this for me. It really sucks going through it without you here.”

“Any time, Baby. I’m here for you.” 

Keith felt his eyes glow at that one and took a deep breath as he palmed over himself. “I really miss you, Shiro. I know it hasn’t been long, but it’s so hard to get used to not seeing you. Really hard to get used to not being able to drag you to bed when I have a bad day too.”

“I feel the same. I miss you like crazy out here already, even if it’s cool to be traveling through space again.”

Keith watched as Shiro looked him over and grinned, spotting the slight blush on his fiance’s cheeks. 

“Are you hurting yet?”

Keith shook his head. 

“You look even more gorgeous when I miss you.” Shiro sighed. “Can I see you?”

“I think it’s funny that you’re sitting in your bunk all horny right now.” Keith laughed as he lifted himself up and wiggled out of the underwear, tossing it aside before sitting back on his heels. He felt a little exposed, doing this on video, but the way Shiro blushed when he started to stroke himself made him forget about it. 

“You’re gonna kill me.”

“Am I gonna get to see you?” Keith breathed, reaching for the lube with his free hand and popping the cap. 

“Just a bit at a time.” Shiro smiled, peeling out of his t-shirt and Keith blushed at the sight of his chest. Damn, he missed those pecs. “I want you to earn it.”

“You’re such a dom sometimes.” Keith laughed as he slicked up his fingers and reached one hand behind himself to start prepping. “How come you’re such a pillow princess whenever I go on top?”

“I’m versatile, what can I say?” Shiro shrugged. “I love having sex with you either way.”

“Wish you could actually have sex with me right now.” Keith sighed as he worked a second finger inside of himself, wincing at the quick stretch. 

“How does the vibrator compare?”

“Not the same. Your fingers are better.”

“The real ones or the ones that I can vibrate?”

Keith bit his lip for a moment. “The vibrator ones, but I love your real hand too.” He pushed in a third and groaned. “Shiro, I really fucking miss you.”

“I’m right here, Baby. I got you.”

“Fuck.” He pulsed his fingers against his prostate until he felt his desperation grow and reached for the toy. “It still feels weird using this.”

“Just pretend it’s me.”

“Be kind of weird if your dick vibrated.”

“It’d be pretty  _ awesome _ if my dick vibrated.”

“You’re so weird.” Keith rolled his eyes as he slicked the toy up and reached back to align it with his entrance, whimpering as he pushed back on it. “Oh fuck.”

“You look so good.” Shiro breathed. “Can you- Shit! Matt, get out!”

Keith’s eyes widened as he watched Shiro jump out of bed, his camera clearly fumbling because the screen changed and he was face to face with Matt Holt staring at him with a red face and wide eyes, standing in the doorway of Shiro’s room. He froze. 

Shiro shut the door on him and came back to pick up his own data pad, but Keith couldn’t find a word to say. Matt had seen him. He’d seen  _ everything _ . “Keith?” Shiro asked, his eyes full of worry. “Baby, I’m so sorry about that, I-I just…”

“You didn’t lock your door for this?” Keith swallowed, his hand trembling as he reached back to pull the toy out. 

“I thought I did, but the doors are weird here, I’m so sorry Baby, I-”

“Shiro.” He croaked, pulling the comforter up to cover himself. His eyes were welling. It felt like he was back in his stupid Garrison dorm room, all those eyes on him, completely exposed. His breath was picking up. “H-How could you not fucking check?”

“I thought it was locked, I’m so sorry.”

“He fucking  _ saw _ me.” Keith cried, wrapping himself in the blanket as panic set in. “H-He saw everything, how could you fucking let that happen to me? I-I told you everything about this. I can barely have sex without our bedroom door locked and you just… What the fuck, Takashi?” He started to sob. This was his worst fucking nightmare all because Shiro couldn’t check his door was locked? He meant that little to him?

“Keith?” Shiro’s voice was strained. “Keith Baby, I’m so so sorry. Please calm down, I swear he won’t ever bring it up, it’ll be okay.”

Keith clenched his fists at that. So fucking  _ what _ if Matt didn’t bring it up? Keith would have to see him around all the time when they got back from the mission. He’d always know. It didn’t matter if Matt was polite about it, Keith never wanted to be seen like that by anyone but Shiro. His trauma was rushing back. He was in that dorm room again, his first sexual experience being exposed to his worst enemies.

“Baby?”

“Don’t call me that right now.”

“Keith please.” 

Keith could hear him choking up, but ignored it. Shiro had no fucking right to be the upset one right then. “You always made me feel safe during sex. I-I thought I could always trust you. I didn’t even  _ think _ to ask if you locked your door, Shiro, god damn it!” He swore, burying his face in his hands. 

“Keith-”

“I don’t want to fucking talk to you.” Keith reached forward and swiped the call away, tossing the data pad to the foot of the bed and curling up under the covers. He couldn’t go to class tomorrow. Not happening. He didn’t want to be fucking seen by a single person and the worst part was, he was still on his stupid cycle. He was still hard and in increasing need of relief and now he didn’t even have Shiro on the phone, but fuck, he didn’t want him. Shiro knew this was one of the deepest traumas he held. He wasn’t even important enough to earn a locked door - a minute of extra precaution on Shiro’s part to make sure he was safe and their intimacy was private. He was still shaking. 

He peeled out of bed and took the vibrator in reluctance, grabbing the lube too as he retreated to the bathroom. He just wanted to fucking shower and cry this out, but if he didn’t take care of himself soon, he’d feel even worse. He hated how difficult it was to control his emotions this time of the month. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Keith did what he had to do, sniffling through it until he found relief with a hand clamped over his mouth. He set it down on the side of the tub when he finished and slid down to the floor of the shower, trying to swallow the lump in his throat as he let the water wash over him. He couldn’t get the look on Matt’s face out of his head. What was wrong with him? He was acting like a fucking porn star on that call and someone had  _ seen him _ . 

He stayed under the water until his breath stopped hitching and pushed himself up, drying off quickly before dressing in sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt. He didn’t want to feel exposed. 

He was  _ just _ getting better. Having sex in the open desert had felt so freeing, he’d stopped locking the bedroom door every time they got intimate, but now that feeling of security even in their home was gone. 

Keith found five missed calls from Shiro on the data pad and set it on the nightstand, crawling under the covers with his phone and curling up. He needed to be alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa sorry for leaving this chapter on a sour note, I know we're all in need of fluff right now, but I promise this is resolved between them as usual and I'll update on time next week if not early.


	16. Lightyears Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith stayed at home until the cycle ended. He couldn’t bring himself to go to the effort of what it would take to prevent any further embarrassment in class, not to mention his emotions weren’t all together yet. Shiro called throughout the day, but he couldn’t make himself pick up. He didn’t want to be upset. Being mad at Shiro was one of the worst feelings in the world, but he was hurt. Really hurt. What happened had been preventable and it was Shiro’s fault no matter how many ways he tried to spin it in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas eve y'all!

Keith stayed at home until the cycle ended. He couldn’t bring himself to go to the effort of what it would take to prevent any further embarrassment in class, not to mention his emotions weren’t all together yet. Shiro called throughout the day, but he couldn’t make himself pick up. He didn’t want to be upset. Being mad at Shiro was one of the worst feelings in the world, but he was hurt. Really hurt. What happened had been preventable and it was Shiro’s fault no matter how many ways he tried to spin it in his head. He kept having nightmares about the dorm incident now - exposed and terrified. He hadn’t had those in years.

Keith skipped class until Monday and forced himself to go. It had been three days of not talking to Shiro, but the calls helped quell his anxiety about ignoring him actually. It meant Shiro was safe and as long as Keith knew that he wasn’t hurt, he was content to take some time for himself. He still missed him so much it hurt, but it didn’t hurt as bad as being exposed like he’d been on Thursday night. 

He turned his attention to class and used his time at home to exercise and cram, keeping his mind off of what happened, but he still found himself anxious if he didn’t keep every door and window locked - especially in their room and the bathroom. In class, he couldn’t raise his hand even when he wanted to. He felt like every eye was on him and he felt like more of a freak than he ever had before.

His chest ached when he watched Shiro’s call come in on the data pad that Monday night, but he couldn’t answer yet. He didn’t want to talk about what happened.

Tuesday, he went to his classes and spent the rest of the day on readings, trying to distract himself from the stomachaches. 

Wednesday, he stayed on campus the whole day, using his breaks between class time to study, so something else would occupy his mind.

Thursday, he stopped crying. He went to his two classes and tried not to keep everything locked when he got home, trading the sweater he put on to hide himself for his normal t-shirt to try and transition back a bit. 

It had been a whole week since Shiro heard from him last. The thought made him cringe, but his chest filled with anxious butterflies whenever he glanced at the data pad now. He wasn’t ready for the conversation they’d have to have. 

Keith was microwaving dinner when a knock on the door made him jump, his heart dropping to his stomach. What if it was someone from the Garrison? Did something happen to Shiro? He swallowed his worry and ran to answer it, yanking the door open to reveal Pidge standing in his doorway, dressed in her usual shorts and green shirt, but looking objectively more pissed off than usual. “H-Hey.” He stammered. “What are you doing here?”

“Why are you ignoring your fiance?” She glared. “It better be a good reason, Kogane. I  _ will _ kick your ass into space.”

“How do you know about that?” Keith blinked. 

“Matt called. He wouldn’t tell me details, but he said he fucked something up and now you won’t talk to Shiro and the poor guy’s having like three panic attacks a day.”

Keith’s blood ran cold. “He is?” He’d gotten so wrapped up in his own trauma, he’d forgotten how much Shiro relied on him.  _ Shit _ .

“Of course he is. You haven’t talked to him in a week.” She huffed and pushed past him to walk inside. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on? Matt wouldn’t give me the specifics.”

“Um.” Keith’s face turned red as he shut the door. “Pidge, I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Did Shiro do something to you?”

His shoulders slumped. “Kind of.”

“On purpose?”

“Not really.”

“Then what are you scaring the hell out of him for?”

“He’s scared the hell out of  _ me _ , Pidge.” Keith glared, crossing his arms over his chest. “He really hurt my feelings last week, is that what you want to hear? I’m fucking hurt and I haven’t felt like talking to him.”

“What, you had a fight?”

“No.”

“Then what could he possibly have done from all the way outside the galaxy?”

Keith’s mouth wobbled. “Pidge, I don’t want to talk about it.”

She raised her eyebrows, scaling back some of the anger as she approached him. “That bad?”

“Kinda.” He bit his lip. “Shiro’s having panic attacks?”

“Really bad ones. Matt said they had to stop for an hour today because he freaked out so bad.”

Keith’s stomach tightened. 

“Keith, what happened?” She asked as she dropped her arms to her sides, her tone faded from anger to concern.

“Do you remember what I told you happened to me back in our Garrison days? When Shiro was gone and those guys um… Those guys jumped me in my dorm?”

“Yeah.” Pidge frowned. “What about that?”

“I-I never told you what they walked in on.” Keith swallowed, feeling his eyes glow with the embarrassment of sharing the story again. “I was um… I-I was…” His mouth quivered. “I was having sex with someone. I-It was my first time and those guys burst in the room and ever since all that happened, I’ve been terrified of being seen like that again.”

“Did someone see you?”

“I-I was going through my cycle, so Shiro thought we should have sex over the phone. He wanted to help me through it like he usually does, but he didn’t lock his fucking door.” Keith sniffed. “Matt walked in. Shiro wasn’t even undressed yet, he just saw… me. Everything.”

“Shit.” Pidge grimaced. “Keith, I’m sorry.”

“I know I shouldn’t be ignoring him, but it’s fucked me up.” Keith mumbled, hugging himself as he stared down at his feet. “My anxiety’s through the roof again and I’m having nightmares about the dorm incident. I can’t sleep if every door in the apartment’s not locked and I start shaking in class when I think I might have to speak in front of everyone and I was  _ just _ getting better, but this whole thing made me feel like I can’t trust him. He knows how much it takes for me to make myself vulnerable like that and he couldn’t even check that his door was locked.” Keith tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat. “ I know I sound pathetic, but I’m really hurt and I needed space. I always take care of him and he couldn’t even check.”

“I get that.” She sighed. “But you’ve gotta talk to him. He’s beating himself up and he thinks something’s happened to you. You’ve never ignored him before and you scared the shit out of everyone. You could’ve been dead going silent on everyone like that.”

“I know.” Keith huffed. ”It’s killing me, but I don’t know how to talk to him right now.”

“You’re gonna have to.”

Keith stopped and worried his lip between his teeth. “Is he mad at me?”

“It sounds like he’s mostly just scared.”

“Am I overreacting?”

“Not to what happened maybe, but to Shiro, yeah. It was an accident, right?”

“Yeah, I just…” Keith stopped and took a deep breath. “I’ve been anxious. I-I’ll call him.”

“Now?”

“Now.” He nodded, but his heart heavy. He didn’t think Shiro would hurt so much. He’d decided to leave for a month, so what was a week of not talking to each other? 

“I’m calling Matt in two hours, so don’t think you can lie.”

“I’m gonna call him.” Keith mumbled. “Sorry.”

“Don’t say it to me.” Pidge shrugged. “I hope you’re okay, but you need to fix this.”

“Okay.” Keith let his shoulders slump in defeat. “Thanks. I’ll see you around.”

Pidge just nodded and headed back out the door, leaving Keith alone in the living room with a stomach ache. He didn’t really want Shiro to be hurting too. He locked the front door behind Pidge and walked back to the bedroom to get the data pad, sighing as he sat down on the bed and pulled up Shiro’s contact number for the mission. 

“Keith?” Shiro answered after just one ring. He was in his bunk, the only place he could really take calls, and his eyes were pink, bags underneath them like he hadn’t slept in days. “H-Hey, holy shit, you’re okay?”

Keith felt his face pale at the sight of him.  _ No _ . He’d made a fucking mistake. He didn’t think it would affect Shiro like this, but he knew from one look that Shiro had been having panic attacks. Bad ones. And they were his fault. “Shiro, I’m…” His mouth wobbled. “I-I’m sorry. I overreacted and I didn’t know you were hurting too. I really didn’t know, but I should have thought about it.”

“I’m just so relieved you’re okay.” Shiro breathed, closing his eyes. “Keith, I was so fucking scared. I feel horrible for what I did, but you can’t go radio silent on me like that. You were so upset when you left, I-I thought you might have hurt yourself and it was all my fault and I tried to call you when I had a panic attack, but you didn’t pick up a-and-” Shiro shook his head and buried his face in his hands, his breath hitching. “I know this whole thing is my fault, but I was so scared, Keith. You’ve never ignored me before.”

“Shiro…” Keith’s eyes welled. “I-I’m so sorry. I just… I freaked out and I was still on my cycle, then it ended and I still had so much anxiety, I couldn’t make myself answer. I-I didn’t know you were having panic attacks, I thought you just wanted to talk about what happened and I didn’t want to think about it anymore.”

“Even if I brought this on myself, I just…” Shiro looked up at him, pained. “You promised me.”

“Promised what?” Keith sniffed. 

Shiro’s mouth wobbled at that. “Keith, you said no matter how angry you were with me, or how bad of a fight we were having, that I could always tell you when I was having an episode and you would help me. W-When you didn’t answer my calls, I thought something happened to you. I know I’m being selfish having hurt feelings at all after how I let you down, but I was so terrified, Keith. I’ve barely been able to fly.”

“Fuck.” Keith swore. He had said that. He’d meant it too, but he was so wrapped up in being upset about Matt seeing him naked that he forgot all about how Shiro might need him too. “Takashi, I’m so sorry. I-I wasn’t thinking straight. I never meant to leave you alone during an episode.”

“Episodes.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith swallowed. “Are you okay? Did it affect the mission?”

“Yeah.” Shiro grimaced. “I’ve slowed us down a lot and it’s all because I can’t control my stupid anxiety. I thought the meds were supposed to keep it from getting this bad, but when you stopped talking to me, I just didn’t know how to keep it together.”

“Shiro, I-I’m not going anywhere again. I never meant to make you hurt, I was just mad and I needed to be alone, but I-I shouldn’t have ignored you.” Keith’s chest hurt looking at Shiro like that. “Matt walking in on us really messed me up. I-I’ve been having all these nightmares about the dorm incident and I get anxiety if I go out in clothes that show anything, I just… I’m sorry for this. I-I wasn’t myself, but I didn’t mean to hurt you. I really didn’t.”

“It’s my fault.” Shiro sighed. “It’s… I-It’s okay, can we just agree to communicate while I’m away? I can’t not know what’s going on with you. We could have been working through your anxiety about what happened together.”

“Yeah.” Keith grimaced, wiping his eyes a bit. “I’m an idiot.”

“I’m the one who couldn’t lock a door right.” 

“I’m the one who spent a week crying about it.”

“We’re a mess.” Shiro smiled a little. “Are you feeling better at all? I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“Kind of. I had to really focus on class this week. I couldn’t go after what happened on top of my cycle, so I missed two days and had to study a lot, but it was a distraction.”

“We had to go through this crazy asteroid belt earlier today. I kept thinking of you.” Shiro laughed a little. “That was always your favorite thing in the simulator and whenever we had to go through something like that in the lions, you always had the least trouble.”

“I’m sure you did great.”

“We got through it.” Shiro shrugged. “But seriously, I’m really sorry for not checking the door. I know how traumatic that probably felt for you and it was my fault. I-I really thought it was locked.”

“You should’ve checked.” Keith sighed. “But I shouldn’t have ignored you. I feel awful.”

“Can we both agree we fucked up and go back to being embarrassingly in love?” Shiro grinnedt. “I miss being cheesy.”

“Me too.” Keith smiled back. “I haven’t bragged about the ring in like eight days.”

“You brag about it?”

“Of course I do. You gave it to me.” He blushed, glancing down at his finger where the ring stayed. “Plus, it’s really cute.”

“You’re really cute.”

“Shut up.” Keith rolled his eyes. “We’re so stupid.”

“We really are, aren’t we?” Shiro ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, I have to get going, but I love you, okay? I’ll do my best to call tonight too.”

“Thanks, Takashi. Love you too.” Keith said and thanked God that he meant it. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to forgive him too quickly. “Call me anytime you need it.”

“Thanks, Keith.”

“Be safe.” He blushed when Shiro blew him a kiss and they said their goodbyes. It did feel better to talk to him and work stuff out instead of ignore it, even if he wasn’t out of the woods with his anxiety yet.

He should probably tell Pidge he decided to stop being an asshole.

**

“So how’s Matt up there?” Keith asked, far behind Pidge in Mario Kart as they sat on her floor, controllers in hand. 

“He’s doing fine, but he worries a lot about Shiro. I guess he didn’t really know how serious the PTSD was.”

“I’m such a dick for ignoring him.” Keith sighed as Pidge hit him with a turtle shell. He deserved that. 

“You are, but it’s cool. I’m glad you guys worked it out.” She said, biting her lip as she swerved around him, a full lap ahead. “You still have two more weeks until he’s back, so try not to be a stranger. Allura and Lance haven’t seen you in forever.”

“How are they doing?”

“Pretty good when they’re not sucking face in public. Seriously, they’re way worse than you and Shiro.”

Keith laughed a little at that. If it wasn’t for his PDA anxiety, they’d probably be just as bad. He picked up a speed boost and started gaining on her right when Kosmo decided to poof into his lap, knocking the controller to the other side of the room. “Pidge!” He yelped. “That’s cheating. You trained him to do this.” He frowned as he wrapped his arms around Kosmo and squeezed. He was too cute not to hug. 

“He just missed you.” She shrugged, driving to victory before setting her controller aside. 

“Hey boy.” Keith smiled, nuzzling his nose against Kosmo’s fur. “I missed you too. Any luck on tracking where the hell he poofs off to all the time?” He asked, turning to Pidge as Kosmo settled down in his lap. 

“Not really. There’s so little time in between when he goes from one location and arrives at another that it’s almost impossible to get a read.”

“So… you’re not working on anything with him right now?” Keith asked, his heart warming when Kosmo nuzzled his head against his hand. 

“No, why?” Pidge frowned as she tried to choose the next map they’d race on. 

“The apartment’s kind of empty while Shiro’s gone. Do you uh… Do you think I could take Kosmo until he gets back? I kinda miss him.” Keith stuck his lower lip out as Kosmo licked his hand. “Hey you.”

“Aw Keith, of course.” She said, giving his arm a little nudge. “Take him home with you. He poofs away to feed himself we figured out, so he’s super low maintenance.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all. He’s hardly here anyways.”

“You hear that, Bud? You’re gonna come home with me.” Keith grinned when Kosmo let out a low woof. Shit, it would be really nice to have something warm at the foot of the bed. He was getting seriously lonely at night. “Hey thanks for not being pissed at me.” He told Pidge, who’d already started another game on her own.

“I’m not the one who had any right to be pissed.” She shrugged. “I just knew you’d talk to him if you knew he was actually hurting.”

“Yeah.” He grimaced. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Any time. You feeling okay?”

“Better. I hope he can call again later tonight though. I wanna make sure he’s alright.” He pressed a kiss to Kosmo’s head before nudging him out of his lap and standing up. “I should get going, but thanks for letting me come hang out.”

“You can hang out any time, Keith.” Pidge said, eyes glued to the TV. “Get home safe, yeah?”

“Thanks Pidge.” Keith said, beaming when Kosmo followed him towards the door. He didn’t realized how much he’d actually missed him. They had a pretty special bond and Keith was the only one that could purposefully teleport with him. “I don’t know if we’ll have room for you when Shiro’s back, but you can chill around the apartment for now.” He joked as he walked down the stairs and out the door with the wolf trotting next to him. It actually warmed his heart when Kosmo looked at him talking. When he was stuck on the time whale, half of what kept him sane, was Kosmo. He was attentive and responsive, intelligent.

He walked home and changed into his pajamas, making a warm cup of tea before tucking himself into bed, the data pad on the nightstand, so he’d hear if one of Shiro’s video calls came in. Kosmo curled up on the floor next to him and just the presence of another living thing put him at ease. 

He sipped with one hand and scrolled on his phone with the other, almost ready to sleep about ten minutes in, when the data pad lit up and his heart thumped. 

Keith set his mug down and picked it up, swiping the screen to answer and sighing in relief at the sight of Shiro. He was in his pajamas, sitting in his bunk. “Hey.” Keith smiled. “Turning in for the night?”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighed. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nope. Just settled in.”

“I just wanted to hear your voice.” Shiro said, his shoulders slumping. “I’ve been having so much trouble sleeping, I get nervous going to bed.” 

“I’ve been the same.” Keith grimaced. ”How bad have the nightmares been?”

“Bad.” He winced. “I’m still mortified Matt heard me screaming.”

“It’s just Matt. Don’t worry about him.” Keith looked at the bags under his eyes and felt his heart sink. “How’s the research going?”

“Pretty great according to Matt, but the flight’s been a little rough. Just a lot of hard obstacles.” 

“I wish I was with you.” Keith said. He just wanted to spoon up behind Shiro, hold him close until he wasn’t worried about nightmares like he usually did at home. “I miss taking care of each other. You always know what to say when I’m upset and you know how to get me through these cycles that keep getting worse. I know this makes me a hypocrite for ignoring you, but I hate not being with you when you’re anxious.”

“You’re the only person that calms me down.” Shiro smiled. “Can you just talk to me for a little bit? I don’t know, tell me anything. I wanna hear you talk.” 

“As long as you need me.” 

They spent an hour on the phone, just exchanging little anecdotes, hardships about the past week. Turned out, Shiro was starting to have eye troubles at the controls, so Keith made a note to make him an optometrist appointment for the second day he was back from the mission. The first day, was their time. It was a Friday thank God, so he wouldn’t have class. He was planning on dragging Shiro straight to bed and not letting him leave. 

Keith even broke out his class notes at one point and ran over them with Shiro, talking through the concepts to get them down pat until they were both yawning. 

“Think you can sleep?” Keith asked and Shiro gave a sleepy nod. “Call me again if you need me, okay?”

“Thanks, Keith.” Shiro breathed. “It makes it so much easier having you back.”

“I’m sorry for leaving.”

“I’m sorry for being an idiot.”

“I love you.” Keith blushed. “Keep staying safe for me, okay?”

“Always.” Shiro nodded. “I love you too.”

**

Keith found his anxiety was a lot less severe with Kosmo around. When he was stressed and studying on the couch, he’d poof over and give his legs a little nuzzle. When he worked out, Kosmo jumped around him, playing. It took the edge off of Shiro’s absence, but there was one problem. The apartment was small, which meant Kosmo kept poofing out into the hallway to explore and Keith would have to go running after him. 

He was just watching TV, taking a break between working out and studying when Kosmo poofed off again and he groaned.

“Kosmo.” Keith huffed as he pushed himself up, grabbing his keys on the way to the front door and toeing his shoes on before running out. 

“Buddy! You gotta come back here, you’re gonna freak people out.” He frowned as he looked up and down the hall. He was probably in the lobby. It was his favorite place to go in the building for whatever reason, so he headed to the stairs, pulling open the door when someone stepped out and bumped into him. “Shit, sorr-” Keith stopped and blinked. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Not running into you on purpose.” Adam mumbled, brushing off his uniform. “A friend of mine lives on this floor.”

“Bullshit.” Keith glared, stepping back from him. “When are you going to leave me and Shiro the fuck alone?”

“I  _ am  _ leaving you alone.” Adam glared back. “I was upset that he came back with  _ you _ , but now that I know he hasn’t changed, I’m not interested. Keep him.”

“Excuse me?”

“You haven’t learned yet?” He rolled his eyes. “Shiro leaves. It’s what he does. Even if he stays with you, he leaves you. No matter how much you need him, the second a mission comes around, he’s gone again.”

Keith’s blood ran cold. “He’s not doing that.”

“Isn’t he?” Adam raised an eyebrow. “Did you ask him to stay?”

Keith’s stomach turned, but he clenched his fists. “We talked it out like adults. I let him go.”

“That’s what I used to tell myself too.” Adam said, brushing past him to walk down the hall. 

Keith stared at the doorway to the stairwell, afraid to turn around and let Adam read the look on his face. He’d worried about this before - that he was too much like Adam. Shiro had reassured him he wasn’t, but he couldn’t deny the similarity of their situations. He knew that Adam had begged Shiro not to go on the Kerberos mission and he’d just spent months begging Shiro to stay grounded too. He swallowed the lump in his throat and headed downstairs to get Kosmo, finding him lying by the front desk in the lobby.

“Come on, Bud.” Keith sighed, scratching his head and leading him back to the stairs and up to the apartment again. His stomach hurt as he lead Kosmo inside and locked the door behind him, giving Kosmo the ‘tired of your shit’ look before he slinked away to the bedroom to curl up with his phone. 

It felt stupid to let Adam get to him. He was only trying to antagonize him and probably lying about not being interested in Shiro anymore anyways, but those words had tugged at an aching suspicion Keith had felt since Shiro took the mission. 

He picked himself up after an hour of Twitter scrolling and shook his head clear, changing into some loose clothing, so he could work out in the living room.

It was just the distance getting to him. As soon as Shiro was back, he’d fall right into his arms and feel better about all of this shit. Plus, he  _ couldn’t _ be like Adam. He let Shiro go on the mission and Shiro wouldn’t be struggling so much up there without him if he’d gone just to get away. Unless, maybe he was just too reliant on Keith to keep his anxiety under control, but… He pushed the thought back and dropped to the living room floor for a push ups set. He wasn’t going to let Adam get to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos / comments ! and feel free to come say hi on twitter / tumblr i'm under the same user!


	17. Back To The Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sir you can't have a space wolf in an apartmen-  
> Keith : Excuse me this is my emotional support space wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro's back babyyyyyy

The final week before Shiro’s return was agonizing. The clocks ticked slower. Keith couldn’t sleep from the excitement of seeing him so soon, he struggled to pay attention in class, but he forced himself to study at home to kill time if nothing else. 

On Friday morning, Keith shot up at five a.m. Shiro was landing in two hours, so he needed to get himself ready. It would take five minutes to get to the landing point, which meant he could take his time, so he used a salt scrub over his whole body, exfoliating everything before he shaved his legs, the stubble off his chest, and the coarse hair from his navel. He wanted to make sure he was good to go and looking as attractive as he could manage for whatever they wanted to do first. He was anticipating a  _ minimum _ of three rounds, but he was planning on wringing as many orgasms out of Shiro as he could. 

He put on the tight jeans Shiro loved, the fancy underwear underneath, before putting on one of the nice dress shirts Shiro had bought him and spritzed a little cologne. With the pants and the long sleeved shirt, he didn’t feel too exposed. It was time to go once he’d finished making himself up and he rushed out the door with Kosmo to go and meet the other paladins. 

“Pidge!” Keith beamed, running up to her first when he arrived at the landing site, Kosmo bounding up to lick at her hand as he hugged her. 

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Lance laughed, one arm around Allura’s waist. 

“Are you ready for me to stop being emo?” Keith teased as he let Pidge go and turned to hug Lance, squeezing once before moving to Allura and finally Hunk. “Thank you guys for being here.”

“Keith, I haven’t seen you this happy since…” Allura blinked. “Well I don’t know when I’ve ever seen you this happy.”

“He’ll be here any minute.” Keith grinned, already looking up at the sky to try and spot the ship. “I’ve just missed him so much, guys. I can’t even tell you.” He could see Iverson and some other personnel standing by, but he ignored it. He was going to tackle Shiro the moment he saw him and he didn’t care if they saw him, or if he looked dumb doing it. His fiancé was coming home. 

It wasn’t long before they saw the ship in the distance and Keith’s cheeks hurt from how wide he was smiling when he watched the vessel touch down, practically vibrating with excitement as he watched the ramp extend from the ship, the door sliding up and open. Matt was out first, followed by Shiro, but before Keith could take a single step forward, Kosmo nuzzled his head against his hand and in an instant, Keith was transported to right in front of Shiro with tears in his eyes and the biggest stupidest grin plastered on his face. 

“Hey.” Shiro beamed at him, hands coming up instinctually to hold his waist even as he blinked in surprise. “You brought Kosmo?”

“Yeah.” Keith laughed. “I-I just uh… I don’t know, I guess he saw you and got excited um… Shit, just come here.” He threw his arms around Shiro and squeezed as tight as he could, burying his face in his neck. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Shiro whispered, squeezing him back and nuzzling his nose against Keith’s hair. “I’m right here.” He cooed when Keith trembled a bit in his arms. “I’m right here, Baby. I got you.”

“Sorry.” Keith sniffled, still hiding his face. “I love you.”

“I-I love you too.” Shiro said and Keith could hear him choking up. “We should probably get out of the way.”

“Shit, yeah.” Keith laughed, wiping his eyes as he pulled away. “Do you have any stuff to wrap up? Can you come home?”

“I can come straight home.” Shiro smiled, bringing his hand up to cup Keith’s cheek and running his thumb right over the scar. “You ready?”

“Dying.” Keith said as he grabbed Shiro’s hand and tugged him away from the ship, over to the other paladins, so they could get the brief reunion over with. 

Shiro hugged all of them just like Keith had minutes ago before saying goodbye, turning to Keith again when he finished just to plant a hungry kiss on his lips. They both had enough restraint not to use their tongues in public, but damn if it didn’t take all their willpower not to. “Let’s go home, Baby.”

They walked fast, hand in hand as Kosmo trotted beside them, Keith’s heart threatening to beat out of his chest as they made their way back to the apartment. 

“Do you have the energy for-”

“Yes.” Shiro cut him off. “Yes, just… Yes.”

“Okay.” Keith laughed, looking around them before leaning up to smack one more kiss to Shiro’s cheek. “We might want to pick up the pace then.”

As soon as they made it back home, Keith locked the front door and dragged Shiro into the bedroom, shutting Kosmo out and locking that door too before shutting the curtains and the bathroom door, so he could feel nice and shut in before turning to face Shiro and tugging his shirt off. “I really need you to fuck my brains out, or I might cry.”

“Just come here.” Shiro beamed, walking up to wrap his arms around him and touch their lips together. 

Keith felt his eyes immediately glow warm at the contact, his hands reaching around Shiro’s shoulders to start unzipping his flight suit as their tongues got reaquainted. A month without kissing Shiro was way too fucking long. He wanted everything all at once. To feel his skin, his mouth, have him inside of him again. He pushed his tongue past Shiro’s lips and dragged the zipper of his flight suit back all the way down to the small of his back, stepping back to start tugging it down by the shoulders. 

Shiro worked his arms out of the sleeves and bent down when Keith got the suit down to his hips, untying his shoe laces and kicking his boots off. 

“I’m never going a month without seeing your dick again.” Keith said, pushing the suit down past Shiro’s thighs until he could properly peel out of it. Keith’s eyes lit up at the sight. Shiro didn’t have underwear on underneath, so he was greeted with the sight of Shiro, fully hard, his cock flushed, pink, and perked up just for him. Keith sank to his knees at the sight. 

“Baby, you don’t need to-” Shiro stopped and gasped when Keith took him right in his mouth. “ _ Fuck _ , Keith, I want to make you feel good too. You don’t have to.”

Keith just looked up at him, eyes glowing as he sunk further down, Shiro’s cock nudging at the back of his throat as he buried his nose in the thin layer of wiry hairs Shiro hadn’t been able to shave on the mission. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this. The weight of Shiro on his tongue and the satisfying feeling of swallowing his pre-cum. He shut his eyes and swallowed around him, eyes rolling back behind his lids at the thought of maybe losing his voice later. 

Shiro braced himself with one hand on the bed post and groaned as Keith bobbed his head back and forth, massaging him with his tongue as he sucked and hummed around him. “I fucking missed you so much.”

Keith pulled his mouth off and grinned up at him with shiny lips. “I missed you too. You want to fuck me?”

“If I ever say no to that question, it’s not the real Shiro again.”

“No clone jokes.” Keith pouted, rising to his feet and giving him another open mouthed kiss. He almost felt like he was going through a cycle again. His skin was so warm, his face blushing red as he tasted Shiro’s tongue again. Before he could part from him, Shiro’s hover hand was in his back pocket, cupping his ass as his human hand undid the button on his jeans and pulled the zipper down. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” Shiro murmured, turning his head and dragging his mouth down Keith’s neck, nipping at the skin to make him gasp. 

Keith kicked his shoes off and backed up onto the bed, wiggling out of his jeans until he could kick them off. He sighed in relief, his erection no longer constrained by the denim as he laid himself back against the pillows and spread his thighs. “Get the lube. I’m too impatient for real foreplay.”

“You’re so cute when you’re desperate.” Shiro grinned, fishing for the lube in their night stand drawer. He pulled out a tube of cherry flavored and raised his eyebrows. “This is new.”

“Test it out then.” Keith breathed, reaching down to stroke himself in slow lazy motions, his mouth watering when Shiro crawled onto the bed between his legs. 

“Can I do one thing before I stretch you?”

Keith stuck out his lower lip. 

“You’ll like it.” Shiro smiled, running one hand up the inside of Keith’s thigh. “Trust me?”

“What is it?”

“Lift your hips up.”

Keith complied and raised his eyebrows when Shiro hovered his arm under his hips. 

“Just rest on it.” Shiro instructed, waiting for Keith to settle his weight on the metal forearm before leaning in. He nudged Keith’s thighs a little further apart and dipped down to drag his tongue around his rim. 

“Takashi!” Keith gasped. He was usually the giver of that sex act, not the receiver, and  _ fuck _ , it felt good. 

Shiro lapped at his entrance as Keith pushed a hand into his hair, tugging it as he teased him. 

“Stop, stop, fuck, I want you in me.” Keith babbled, his face burning red with embarrassment of how much he  _ liked _ this. Shiro’s tongue was expert, dipping inside him and stroking up over his perineum. “Please just fuck me.”

“You still need some prep, Baby. Don’t get too eager.” Shiro cooed, lifting his head to lick up the underside of Keith’s cock before he finally popped the cap on the lube. He sat back and used his human hand to prep him, easing in one finger at first, before quickly introducing a second, and a third. It made the stretch a little uncomfortable, but Shiro knew what he was doing. Keith could take it and he wanted it too. He wanted to feel it and Shiro knew how to make that happen without it being painful. They both knew the satisfaction of being sore the morning after an incredible night of sex and Keith was prepared to hobble into class on crutches Monday if he had to. 

“I’m ready, Takashi.” Keith panted. “Just give it to me. I-I can’t keep waiting.”

“You got it, Love.” Shiro smiled, pouring some excess lube into his hand to spread a little extra around Keith’s hole and using the rest to slick himself up. “I feel kind of vanilla doing missionary with you after being gone for so long, but I’m gonna lose my mind if I can’t kiss you right now.” Shiro said as he reached down to line himself up, pressing the tip forward. 

“Fuck, don’t go slow with me.” Keith breathed, wrapping his legs around Shiro’s hips to urge him forward. 

Shiro eased all the way inside one inch at a time until he was buried, taking a deep breath as he let Keith’s hips adjust to his presence. “You’re so fucking tight all the time.”

“The toy’s not as big as you are.” Keith grinned. “Need you to stretch me out again.”

“Come here.” Shiro breathed, turning his head to kiss down Keith’s neck as he started to rock back in forth. “I was dying without you, Baby.”

“Harder.” Keith whined. “It was fucking awful here without you.”

“Hated sleeping alone.” Shiro said with a snap of his hips that made Keith’s back arch up off the mattress. 

“I hated waking up alone.” Keith gasped. “ _ Takashi _ .”

It only took a minute of warming up before Shiro was driving into him at a wild pace, his hover hand keeping Keith’s wrist pinned above his head. While it may be a trigger for himself, it was something Keith  _ loved _ and he could already feel the bruises blooming on his pale skin there. 

He wasn’t as anxious as he thought he’d be. It was the middle of the day, so he knew the neighbors were at work, but after the cybersex incident, he couldn’t bring himself to cry out like he wanted to. Still, Keith wanted Shiro to know he felt good, so he didn’t keep his mouth shut. He’d missed him too much.

“I missed cooking for you.” Keith whimpered as Shiro filled him up again and again, rubbing perfectly up against his prostate on every thrust until his thighs started to shake with the overwhelming pleasure. He forgot just how thick Shiro’s cock was, the way it stretched him, made him feel so full and satisfied that it was almost impossible to keep his eyes open. “I missed our stupid movie nights.”

“I missed coming home to you.” Shiro grunted. “Missed seeing your hair in the morning and fucking you in the shower when we get up early.”

Keith moaned at that, tipping his head back as Shiro rolled his hips against his ass. “Touch me.”

Shiro shut him up with a kiss as he reached between them to wrap his hand around Keith’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts. 

Keith parted his lips happily for Shiro’s tongue, letting him swallow his moans as he pushed back against him. He wanted it to last forever, but he was so pent up from waiting. Nothing he did to himself at home compared to how Shiro made him feel. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against Shiro’s. The pace was frantic and punishing, his body slick with sweat and the pre-cum smearing over his stomach as Shiro worked in and out of him over and over again. “Shiro.” Keith panted. “I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum, Baby. Make me cum.”

“I love when you talk like that.” Shiro breathed. “Your eyes are so fucking bright right now.”

Keith just shivered clenched his muscles around Shiro, wanting to drive him over the edge too. “I love you.” He huffed, pleasure swelling in the pit of his stomach. “ _ Fuck _ , I’m right there Shiro, I’m - Ah!” His will to stay somewhat quiet broke as his orgasm overwhelmed him. He bucked up and came over Shiro’s metal fist and his abs, whimpering as Shiro fucked him through it. 

Shiro followed close behind, his rhythm faltering as he buried himself deep and came inside, panting as he hunched over Keith and finished with a few more shallow thrusts of his hips. 

“Thank God you’re back.” Keith sighed, hugging Shiro close as he unwrapped his legs. He slid one hand up to feel the fuzziness of his undercut and one hand down to squeeze his ass as he grinned up at him. “Welcome home.”

“It’s great to be back.” Shiro smiled too. “Want to hop in the shower?”

“You’re not done here, Babe.” Keith said, raising his eyebrows. 

“Hm?”

“Pull out and turn over.” Keith laughed, watching as Shiro blushed and backed out of him before turning onto his hands and knees. He pushed himself up, so he could kneel on the mattress and grabbed the lube as he sidled up between Shiro’s legs. “So good for me.” He cooed as he flicked the cap back open and used his free hand to spread him open a little more. 

“You’re really fucking excited today.”

“What can I say?” Keith shrugged, giving his ass a light smack before he pulled back to slick up his hand. “Welcome home, Baby.”

**

After three and a half rounds of reunion sex, Keith finally let Shiro drag him into the shower, both of them cleaning each other in lazy strokes. Keith didn’t want to leave his arms. He felt safe again for the first time in a month, but once he got over the high of having sex again, he was already feeling anxious that maybe someone had heard them. What if the neighbors were home from work early?

“What’s up?” Shiro asked as he washed Keith’s back. “You’re a little tense.”

“Just worried I got too loud.” Keith winced. “I don’t want anyone to hear and the neighbors could’ve come home early from work.”

“Shit.” Shiro sighed, setting the soap down and turning Keith around to face him. “Baby, I know we talked it out, but I’m still so sorry about what happened with Matt walking in. That must have set you back really far.”

“It’s okay.” Keith grimaced. “I’ll get over it.”

“Still.” Shiro reached up and stroked the scar on his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad at you. It’s okay.” Keith shrugged his shoulders. “I just want to have fun with you, you know? I mean having you back feels like a weight’s been lifted.”

“I feel the same way.” Shiro said. “I um…” He bit his lip and reached for the shampoo, sudsing up his hands for Keith’s hair. “I didn’t have a great time up there. I thought I would and I was so excited to go, but I just kept having panic attacks and you weren’t there and I just… I don’t know. I have some things to think about.”

“Oh.” Keith’s heart sank. As much as he wanted Shiro to stay on the ground, he didn’t want him to lose anything. “I’m sorry. We’ll figure it out together, yeah? I mean I hope you don’t leave again for a long time, but I support whatever you decide.”

“Thanks, Keith.” Shiro sighed with a smile. “That means everything to me.”

“Of course.” Keith nodded, his mind flashing back to the conversation with Adam. Shiro wasn’t going to leave him like he had Adam back then because Adam had never supported him like this. He  _ was _ different. 

They finished washing up and stepped out, drying themselves off before retreating back to the bedroom to get dressed. 

“You’re wearing a sweater?” Shiro frowned as he pulled his jeans up. “Baby, it’s really hot today.”

“Oh.” Keith bit his lip. “Um… I-I haven’t really been comfortable in what I usually wear since the thing happened.”

“What do you mean?” Shiro’s eyebrows pushed together further in concern. 

“I just prefer to be covered up.” Keith winced, watching as Shiro’s face fell. “Sorry.”

“You’re not the one who should apologize.” Shiro said as he looked him over. “It’s that bad?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “It was like this for a long time after the original incident too.”

“And you lost all that progress because of me.” Shiro grimaced, dropping the shirt he was about to put on and walking up to hug him instead. “I’m so sorry, Keith.”

“It’s fine. Really.” Keith swallowed. “I got over it once. I’ll probably get over it again. I mean, this wasn’t anywhere nearly as bad as being jumped. Matt just…” He shuddered. “Okay, actually, I don’t want to think about it. Can we just go cuddle with Kosmo on the couch and watch something?”

“Yeah, of course.” Shiro nodded, but he looked sad. “You do look adorable in this sweater at least.” He gave Keith’s hip a squeeze. “Just let me know anything I can do for you.” 

“Just come cuddle with me for a while and help me with some wedding stuff later.” Keith got up on his toes and kissed the center of Shiro’s forehead. “I’m just happy you’re home. Don’t worry about what happened.”

“Okay.” Shiro sighed, reaching for his shirt when Keith grabbed his wrist. “Hm?”

“You can uh… leave it off. If you want.”

“You’re so cute.” Shiro laughed, coming back to kiss him again before pulling away to head for the living room. “I’ll get the good blankets.”

**

After a bad movie, Keith curled up with Shiro and the wedding binder, showing him the guest list he’d come up with, the color scheme he was thinking, a few flower options while Kosmo occupied the end of the couch with them. 

“It all looks great, Baby. I’ll start helping now that I’m around.” Shiro said, one arm around Keith’s shoulders as he paged through it. “We should hire a planner for the vendor stuff, yeah?”

“Yeah if we can afford it. I have no idea how to do any of that stuff.” Keith shrugged. 

“So uh…” Shiro looked at Kosmo and floated his hand over to scratch him behind the ears. “This guy here to stay?”

“Hm?” Keith glanced up from the binder. “Yeah, I know he’s big, but he is kind of mine you know? I’ve missed him like crazy.”

“Alright.”

“Is that an issue?” Keith frowned. 

“Nope.” Shiro shook his head. “It’s fine. Just asking.”

Keith had an inkling that it wasn’t, but he let it go. He needed Kosmo around now. It helped his anxiety and it wasn’t right for Kosmo to be with the Holts after everything they went through together. “Your eye appointment’s tomorrow morning, so don’t forget.”

“Yeah, shit I’m going blind.” Shiro laughed. “Do you want me to do dinner tonight? You’ve been cooking for yourself for a month.”

“No way. I’ve been planning this meal since you left.” Keith said, planting a kiss on Shiro’s lips just to hush him. “I got the good steaks, the good wine,  _ and _ I learned how to not burn them.”

“I’ve never been so turned on.”

“Don’t tempt me with round four because you know I have the stamina.”

“I love your Galra side.” Shiro sighed, pulling Keith closer and just snuggling in. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide, but you’re super cozy in this sweater.”

“Yeah?” Keith smiled, running his hand through Shiro’s hair. “I missed being cozy with you.”

“Tell me about it.”

**

Keith finally felt at home again with Shiro back. They ate a romantic dinner together that he spent the evening making and snuggled up again, a little wine drunk for an action movie before they went to bed. It felt good to be lazy. He’d been drilling himself on studying and exercise to quell his anxiety over Shiro being gone and being exposed to Matt like he’d been - not to mention the nasty things Adam said. Keith hadn’t even told Shiro about that to avoid upsetting him. He was still guilt wracked over ignoring him for that week.

When they went to bed that night, Keith put on the matching pajamas with the pants and long sleeves and made Shiro tea before bed, trying to get him perfectly relaxed, so he’d sleep easier. 

“Come here, Big Guy.” Keith teased when he slid into bed beside him, spooning up behind Shiro and holding onto him tight. “It’s good to have you home.” He murmured as he pressed a goodnight kiss to the back of Shiro’s neck. He’d missed the smell of his body wash. 

“Feeling protective?”

“I learned in my abnormal class that changing your sleeping environment can make one of your nightmares more likely, so I figured your first night back at home might trigger one. Just wake me up if you need me.”

“It’s so fucking good to be home.” Shiro breathed. “Thanks, Keith. Seriously.”

“Any time.” Keith said with a squeeze. “Sweet dreams, Shiro.”

**

Keith laid awake for a long time, holding Shiro close to him more for his own comfort than Shiro’s. He couldn’t shake his anxiety off. He’d been overwhelmed with Shiro being back and all, but he knew the next time they had sex, he wouldn’t be so carefree. Already, thoughts were itching at the back of his mind that he’d been too loud earlier and someone may have heard. Remembering Adam supposedly had a friend on their floor and liked to pass through made the thought even scarier. 

After an hour of laying there awake with a sleeping Shiro in his arms, he felt irritation creeping up on him. He’d thought he was over it, but it gnawed at him. If Shiro had just checked that stupid door, he could fast asleep right then. He would be confident and proud and not scared to show his face in broad daylight again. Plus, as much as he just wanted to be supportive, he was irked that he’d told Shiro being away would be too hard mentally and it had been. He would never say I told you so, but he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t a little mad about Shiro not taking that worry seriously before. 

His emotions were a bit of a wreck and not to mention, his cycle could hit any day now. Shiro had left right before the last one started and come home a month later. It would be time again by Monday at the latest and he didn’t know if he even felt secure enough to let Shiro take care of him in such a state - he was just so embarrassed - but Keith knew desperation would get the best of him most likely. He’d need relief and comfort and he knew Shiro would provide it. 

Keith took a deep breath and tried to push the thoughts out of his head. Shiro had made one tiny mistake. He couldn’t keep harping on it, so instead he kissed his sleeping fiancé’s cheek and made a vow to try harder on getting over it. They were getting married, after all. He wouldn’t be like this forever.

**

Keith woke up for the first time in 31 days to a pair of familiar lips on his neck, a warm hand slipped under his pajama shirt to splay over his stomach as he blinked his eyes open. “Shiro?” He yawned. “What time is it?” He looked over at their alarm clock and pouted. “Hey, you shut my alarm off. I was gonna make you breakfast before your eye appointment and stuff.”

“Sleep in for once.” Shiro smiled, nuzzling his nose against Keith’s before pressing a kiss to his lips that made Keith smile against it. “I turned it off. I’m gonna get up and get ready in a few minutes.”

“Sure you don’t want me to take you?”

“Nope, just rest up. We had a long month.” Shiro said, taking his hand out from under Keith’s shirt and reaching to comb his fingers through his hair. “I missed your bedhead.”

“Can’t believe you said that when your dick was in me last night.”

“It’s sexy.” Shiro teased, planting a kiss on Keith’s cheek before pulling out of bed. “I should be back in an hour. Maybe less. You should stay in bed.”

“I’m fine to get up.” Keith pushed himself to a sitting position and winced. “Okay, maybe not.” He hadn’t been sore like that since the first time they did it. Yikes. “Are you sore too?”

“A little, but not too bad. Thanks for being gentle.” Shiro smiled as he changed out of his pajamas and into a pair of jeans and a button up shirt. 

Keith swooned a tiny bit at his biceps and laid back down. It did feel nice to rest for a little extra time.

“I’ll be back in a bit.” Shiro said as he toed his shoes on, turning to lean down and give Keith one more kiss on his forehead. 

“Mmkay.” Keith yawned, snuggling up with Shiro’s pillow. “Bye, Takashi.”

“You’re so cute.” Shiro sighed, giving Keith’s shoulder a final squeeze before he headed out of the room. “I’ll be right back.”

**

Keith did sleep in for forty more minutes, then got up and changed into a pair of jeans and one of Shiro’s sweaters. He liked the way it enveloped him, sliding off his shoulder a little bit as he headed to the kitchen. 

He turned the radio on and danced around a little while he made pancakes, trying to ride the high of yesterday’s intense make up sex rather than focus on his upcoming cycle, or lingering frustrations about the events of the past month. 

Keith hummed to himself the tune of an Ariana Grande song he didn’t know the name of as Kosmo bounded back and forth behind him. He’d discovered that was Kosmo’s little way of dancing and he always did it when music played. It was cute and it made Keith’s heart feel a little lighter as he cooked breakfast. 

He scooped two pancakes onto one plate for Shiro and just one for himself onto another as he swayed a little. 

Keith put the plates on their dining table and poured two glasses of orange juice, lifting his head when he heard the front door open. “Shiro?” He walked out of the kitchen and stopped when he saw him. Holy  _ shit _ . A pair of black framed glasses rested on Shiro’s nose. Keith had never thought about it before, but something twitched between his legs at the sight of his fiance with glasses. “Wow.”

“Good wow?” Shiro winced. “They um… Said I needed them. I mean, I guess I do. I can see way better, but I think I’m gonna go with contacts most of the time.”

Keith rushed up to him and threw his arms around Shiro’s neck, tilting his head to kiss him properly and prod his tongue into his mouth. He felt Shiro’s hands fall on his waist and grinned when he parted from the kiss. “You look like such a husband. I love it.”

“Are you sure?” Shiro blushed. “I don’t know about them. I feel… old.”

“You look handsome.” Keith smiled, nuzzling his nose against Shiro’s jaw. “I made breakfast. Come eat with me.”

“Are you listening to Ariana Grande in the kitchen?”

“Me and Kosmo dance now.” Keith shrugged. “New hobby. You’ll have to take me to lessons.”

“Cute.” Shiro laughed a bit and planted a kiss on Keith’s forehead. “You and Kosmo have gotten pretty close while I was gone, huh?”

“We’ve always been close. He’s my wolf.” Keith said as he turned around to lead him back to the kitchen. “He likes to teleport around the building sometimes though and I have to chase him down, but he just does that when he needs attention. He had a lot of people around and a lot of room to roam at the Holts, but I just think the best place for him is with me.”

Kosmo came bounding up to him in the kitchen doorway right on queue and Keith’s heart warmed as he scratched him behind the ears. 

“Are you sure we have enough room for him?”

“He’s been doing fine.”

“But-”

Keith turned around and pushed his eyebrows together. With all the emotional support he’d gotten from Kosmo lately, he didn’t want to hear anything about the wolf not belonging in the apartment. “Shiro, he’s saved our asses in space a dozen times. We have a bond.”

“I know.” Shiro swallowed. “I just… I don’t know, it’s not a big place.”

Keith’s heart sank as Kosmo nuzzled up against his thigh. “Takashi, I’ve really missed him. He helped a lot while you were gone.”

Shiro looked down at the wolf and sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He gave Kosmo a little pat on the head. “I’m just grumpy about the glasses thing. Let’s eat?”

“Yeah.” Keith said, but his shoulders slumped as he went to the table. It was a pretty small sacrifice for Shiro to make, so he could have Kosmo around. He turned the music down and took his seat, Kosmo settling on the floor beside him as Shiro sat down to eat too. “So did you get contacts?”

“Yeah, I just need to figure them out.” Shiro said as he cut into his pancakes. “Thanks for breakfast. You slept for a little longer right?”

“Mhm.” Keith nodded, looking back up at him and shit, it was hard to even be annoyed with him in those glasses. He looked so cute and handsome. “I really do like the glasses.”

“I just feel old and nerdy.” Shiro pouted. “I’m not even thirty yet.”

“No, but you will be soon. It’s not a bad thing.” Keith shrugged. “I think they’re sexy.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not.” Keith frowned. “Eat your pancakes. I’m gonna ride you with the glasses on.”

Shiro’s eyebrows raised. 

“I like ‘em.” Keith blushed, turning back to his pancake. “Plus, I think the cycle’s about to start, so I just feel kind of… Y’know.” He felt Shiro’s foot rub up against his calf under the table and smiled. “Eat your pancakes though. I slaved over these.”

**

Keith was bouncing in Shiro’s lap, the doors locked as usual when Kosmo poofed into the room. He didn’t bat an eye at it. He still had his sweater on and the eyes of an animal were nothing similar to the eyes of a human to him, but Shiro yanked the covers up like they’ve just been walked in on. 

“What?” Keith whined, rolling his hips in Shiro’s lap.

“The wolf, Keith.” Shiro winced as he glanced over at where Kosmo laid on their bedroom floor now. 

“It’s just Kosmo.” Keith murmured, leaning forward to catch him in a kiss and push one hand up in to his hair. He shivered when he felt Shiro’s glasses press against his nose. “Come on, Baby.” He whispered against his lips. “I’m so close right now.”

“This doesn’t bother you?”

Keith shook his head. 

“Even after…?” Shiro bit his lip. 

“Shiro.” Keith just sat himself still in his lap and huffed. “Why are you being difficult about Kosmo? I’m fucking riding you and you’re looking at the wolf.”

“I don’t want him just poofing into the bedroom when we’re having sex.”

Keith rolled his eyes and sat himself up, pulling off of Shiro and moving over to sit beside him instead, the covers pulled up to cover himself. “You hate him don’t you?”

“I…” Shiro sighed and Keith hoped he’d given him a bad enough case of blue balls for it to hurt a little right then. “I don’t hate him. I just don’t think we have the space.”

“We’re just two people.”

“And he’s a massive space wolf.”

“Shiro.” Keith glared. Whether it was completely justified or not, there was heat boiling inside him. Sure, Keith had made one fuck up. He shouldn’t have ignored Shiro for that one week when he was on the mission, but Shiro had gotten over that. He was still dealing with the leftover anxiety and relived trauma of Shiro allowing someone to walk in on him completely exposed and vulnerable and one of the few things that got him through all that anxiety and the loneliness of Shiro being away had been Kosmo. Not to mention, he was vulnerable right then, half-naked and slicked up and Shiro was picking a fight with him.

“You just didn’t seem to care before when Kosmo was living at the Holts. You can see him there any time.”

Keith felt even worse being angry with his pants off, so he climbed out of bed and quickly wrestled his boxers and jeans back on despite how disgusting it felt to be lubed up and clothed. Fucking  _ hell _ and he’d just been trying to cheer Shiro up about the glasses. Not that he didn’t enjoy the sex, but everything he did was for Shiro and he can’t even let him keep Kosmo around? “Shiro.” He stopped and rubbed his temples. 

“I just don’t get what the big deal is.” Shiro said, shifting a little in bed as he looked over at Kosmo. 

“I want him here. Can’t that be enough?” Keith asked, his eyes glowing as he glared at Shiro. 

“What changed from before? You just didn’t care so much about him living here before and I thought you understood he was too big.”

“What  _ changed _ ?” Keith’s eyes blew wide. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m… not?” Shiro blinked. “Baby, I’m really confused.”

Keith’s mouth wobbled. “Shiro, I do everything for you. I-I cook and clean and do your laundry and make your appointments. I stay up all night with you when you’re having nightmares and I come get you when you’re upset at work. I keep my whole body shaved just because I-I know you like me soft and you know my worst fear is being walked in on when I-I’m naked and exposed and sexual and vulnerable and you let it happen.” He sniffled as he spoke, all the negative feelings he’d been trying to stuff down coming bubbling right up and out his mouth. “I’m having panic attacks about going outside again. I had to start locking everything again just to feel safe in our home and I-I dream about the incident and my stomach feels sick thinking about running into Matt now and he’s my friend, Shiro.”

“Keith-”

“Don’t.” He croaked. “I was alone here. I-I was alone and I was hurting and Pidge let me take Kosmo back home. He slept by the bed every night while I waited for you to get back and with all I do for you, you don’t think it’s reasonable for me to have this one fucking thing that you don’t want after I just let you go on a mission you know  _ petrified _ me? I’m not gonna be the only one who sacrifices.” Keith hiccupped and he felt his face turn red with the embarrassing realization that tears were rolling down his cheeks. “You weren’t here to take care of me. You let me get hurt. I’m happy you’re back, but it feels so awful that you’re gonna complain about this one little thing that helps me feel comfortable again. He’s  _ my  _ fucking wolf and he’s not leaving. Okay? He’s fucking not. I need him.”

Shiro stared at him from the bed, his eyes wide and teary from behind the glasses. Keith shook at the thought that he may have gone too far. Shiro could walk right out the door and not come back if he wanted to. He could take Keith’s name off the apartment, kick him to the curb, take back the engagement ring, all of it. “Keith I… I-I never meant… I’m so sorry.” He pushed himself up out of bed and rushed to get his robe from where it hung on the back of their door, covering himself up before he walked up to Keith and grabbed his hands. “It hurt you that much?”

“Yeah.” Keith choked, his breath hitching as he tried to breathe deep and calm down. “I’m trying to get over it, but it just… I-It hurt.” He was tempted to fall right into Shiro’s arms, but held his stance instead. “And going through my cycle alone was horrible and now I’m getting all pissed at you right when I’m gonna need you again and-”

“Hey, hey.” Shiro cooed, squeezing Keith’s hands as he took a small step closer. “I’m never going to leave you to deal with that on your own just because you’re mad at me. You have every right to be pissed, but I’m still gonna take care of you when it starts this time, yeah? Kosmo stays. I’m sorry for being an asshole about it.”

Keith’s mouth wobbled as Shiro leaned in to kiss his forehead. 

“Keith?” 

He sniffed. “What?”

Shiro sighed and dropped his hands, so he could hug him, holding Keith tight against his chest and rubbing his back, kissing his hair. Keith could hear the tremor in his voice when he spoke and it made him feel better that Shiro was holding back tears. “I’m so sorry. I really fucked up by leaving and it was bad for both of us. I-I didn’t even enjoy being up there without you and yeah, I love space, but you’re my home. I don’t want to be separated from you for weeks at a time.” He squeezed to emphasize and Keith had to suppress a sob. “I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry for what I let happen with Matt and I want to help you get better. You’re right that you just do so fucking much for me, Keith. I need to take care of you too.”

“I’m sorry for yelling.” Keith hiccupped and Shiro kissed the top of his head. 

“Don’t be. I had no idea you were holding so much in.” Shiro pulled back to look at him and brought up his human hand to brush the tears off of Keith’s cheek. “Your eyes are still glowing.” He smiled, turning his head to kiss the side of Keith’s nose. “I’m gonna be right by your side through all this from now on, okay? I don’t even know if I want to go out there again for a mission after how this one went, so let’s just focus on us and the wedding and helping you heal, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathed, the tension finally falling from his shoulders. “I didn’t mean to snap and tell you all that, I just-”

“You needed to. It’s okay.” Shiro hugged him one more time and squeezed tight. “Maybe after the wedding, we’ll buy a house by the Garrison and live there instead. Kosmo would have plenty of room, but he’s also fine to stay here. If he means that much to you, I gotta love him too.” Shiro grinned when he pulled back. “Do you want to come get in the shower? Don’t worry about making me feel good. Just you.”

“What do you want to do?” Keith blushed. 

“How about two of these and I suck you off like you deserve?” Shiro smiled, walking two of his hover hand fingers up the center of Keith’s chest, buzzing them lightly to remind Keith of the vibration capability. “Unless you don’t want to. I’m just as happy to run you a bubble bath, or give you a massage or anything.”

“Takashi.” Keith melted and leaned his forehead on his fiance's shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I think a pamper Keith day has been in order for a while.” Shiro smiled, still rubbing one hand up and down Keith’s back. “So you’ll need to stay home from class when heat starts, right?”

“Yeah.” He grimaced. “It sucks.”

“Would I be able to go down to campus and get notes for you or anything? Homework?”

Keith raised his head. “You’d do that?”

“Of course I would. I’m not back in the classroom until the week after this one anyways.” Shiro shrugged. “We all have a week off. I can help all you need.”

“That’d be a huge help.” Keith nodded, blushing when Shiro planted an extra kiss on his cheek. “I really didn’t mean to have an outburst like that.”

“You’re fine. You needed to say that stuff and I’m… really sorry.” Shiro sighed. “I’m gonna be better for you. You do too much for me not to appreciate it.” He caressed the scar on Keith’s face and leaned in to kiss that too. “Let me make dinner tonight. Let me do the chores and make you feel good. You do that for me every day.” 

“Are you sure?”

“I want to.” Shiro smiled. “Shower? I want to start making up for all the shitty decisions I’ve made lately.” 

“Okay.” Keith sighed, nodding his head in defeat. “Thanks, Shiro. I um… I feel better.”

“We’ll keep talking about this, okay? I know just because you said how you feel doesn’t make the problems go away.” Shiro pressed his lips to Keith’s forehead and took his hands again to lead him towards the bathroom. “I think an apology blowjob is step one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID SOMEONE SAY KOSMO THE SERVICE DOG


	18. Tandem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith stayed up that night. They’d had sex with the door unlocked for the first time since Shiro came back and going on top had helped him feel a little more in control, but something in him was still buzzing. He had no clue if Shiro was going to want to fly again after that rough mission and he was apprehensive to settle too quickly into the security of having Shiro home - possibly for good. 
> 
> He wished there was a place at the Garrison that could provide a happy medium for Shiro. A man who loved the universe and everything in it there was to see, but had been through so much and deserved a life of happiness and domestic bliss. Keith wanted him to have all of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is long as fuck, thanks to those who have stuck around!!! i'm working on how to wrap it up, so i'd say this will end by a chapter 25 absolute max, possibly sooner

It was the first cycle Keith… enjoyed? It wasn’t the best thing to have a fever for 48 hours, but Shiro was more attentive than ever. He fucked him into the couch, the mattress, their dining room table, giving it to him every time he needed it between running over to the community college with a forged doctor’s note to get Keith’s work from his professors. He put on stupid action movies, so Keith wouldn’t cry his eyes out at chick flicks and kept him pumped full of Tylenol to manage his temperature. 

By the time it passed, Keith was feeling more in love than ever. He had a fiancé that took care of him - what more could he ask for in a soon to be husband? It allowed him to shake off any lingering fear he had about the shit Adam had said to him. Shiro wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Takashi?” Keith asked, finally back to normal when he slid in to bed next to Shiro. The heat had lasted three days this time, but his temperature was down, his emotions were a little more in check. He felt like he could bring it up. 

“Hm?” Shiro looked up from the data pad he was scrolling through, Keith’s heart warming at the sight of him in glasses. It was still adorable. 

“I want to talk to you about something.” Keith said as he wiggled his way under Shiro’s full arm, snuggling right into his side with his head on his shoulder. 

“What’s up?”

“Something weird happened with Adam while you were gone.” Keith grimaced. “It’s no big deal, but I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh.” Shiro blinked, setting the pad down on the nightstand to give Keith his full attention. “What happened?”

“I bumped into him in the hallway when I was chasing Kosmo and he um… He said something about how he’s over you? He gave me all this shit about you going on the mission and how you’re trying to leave me like he thinks you did to him with Kerberos.”

“He’s just a dick.” Shiro sighed. “I’m sorry. This isn’t like Kerberos though. I’ve seen everything now and I’m not as young as I was back then. I know we kind of struggled with the research mission, but I would never actually choose a mission over our relationship if it came to that. You’re not him.”

“Thanks, Takashi.” Keith sighed as he settled into his chest. “I just… wanted you to know that happened. It was weird.”

“Just try to ignore him. Hopefully he means it about leaving us alone.” Shiro pressed his lips into Keith’s hair and gave him a squeeze. “Feeling better?”

“Way better. I’ll be back to killing the housework game by tomorrow morning.” Keith yawned. “Gotta up the husband material game.”

“You don’t need to up anything.” Shiro smiled, hovering his arm over to turn the bedroom light off. “You’re perfect.”

“Gay.”

“I’m trying to be sweet!”

**

The long weekend passed and Keith was grateful for Shiro not pressuring him to go out. It was something he would start to work again on soon, but he needed time. He needed to focus on school, reconnecting with Shiro after a tough month. When Monday came around, he got up early - despite Shiro’s protests - to get his clothes out and make him a proper breakfast. 

“It’s fine, I have to get to class in an hour anyways.” Keith said when they said goodbye at the doorway, pressing a lunchbox into Shiro’s hands and getting up on his toes to kiss his cheek. “I love you. Have a great day back.”

“Thanks, Keith.” Shiro sighed. “I love you too. Good luck in class.”

“Thanks.” Keith gave him a little wink before shooing him out the door, locking it, and flopping back on the couch with Kosmo to relax a little before it was time to go to school. He would still get home a good hour and half before Shiro would be off the clock, so he would have plenty of time to make a good dinner for them. He hoped any of Shiro’s problems on the mission hadn’t made their way back to the students. More rumors about him being fragile in any way would make things tough in the classroom. 

He got through his classes pretty well. He was really getting ahold of the material and the deeper he got into abnormal, the more passion he felt about it. There were so many different illnesses that people had to go through, but just as many ways to help. He couldn’t wait to make a career out of this, out of helping people like Shiro. Sure, there were cases a lot more extreme that he was eager to learn about too, but he saw himself specializing in disorders more anxiety related like his own.

He walked home from campus and started to pick through a recipe book in the kitchen while Kosmo nuzzled at his calf. “I’ll go on a run with you soon.” Keith said, giving him a scratch behind the ears as he ran through a mental checklist of what was in their pantry. He turned to check what their noodle situation was when his phone buzzed on the counter. 

“Hey Shiro.” He answered, holding it between his ear and his shoulder as he walked over to open the pantry. “What’s up?”

“H-Hey, I need you to come meet me in Iverson’s office.”

“Oh shit, are you okay?” Keith frowned. “Did someone-”

“I-I’m okay, but I do need you here. Adam pulled some stunt and I just… I-I need you to come help me explain.”

“I’ll be right there.” Keith said, balling his hands into fists as he went to find his shoes. Fucking Adam. It was Shiro’s first day back and he couldn’t leave him alone? All of the reasons they had to fight aside, he couldn’t even be professional for five minutes. 

He toed his shoes on, grabbed his keys, and pulled on a jacket before heading out. It was just a five minute walk to Iverson’s office, but he jogged through the apartment lobby and onto Garrison campus. His heart was palpitating, but he was a little calmer than he usually would be. Whatever it was, they would deal with it. His priority was just getting to Shiro’s side, so he wasn’t dealing with any crazy ex-boyfriend shit by himself. 

Keith didn’t bother knocking when he made it to Iverson’s office, stepping right in to see Shiro seated in front of Iverson, who sat behind his desk. “Hey.” He said, coming up to put his hand on Shiro’s shoulder and squeezing. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighed. “It’s just some bullshit he’s pulling.”

“What happened?” Keith asked, taking a seat beside Shiro as he looked to Iverson for an explanation. He moved his hand down to Shiro’s thigh and kept it there, giving him a reassuring squeeze as he waited. 

“You’re both familiar with Adam.” Iverson sighed. “He’s filed a report. Says he witnessed a domestic violence incident in the gym before Shiro left for the mission.”

“Are you joking?” Keith’s mouth hung open as he looked over at Shiro. “The sparring accident?”

“Yeah.” Shiro grimaced. 

“I heard Shirogane’s side. I’d just like to hear your explanation of the event in question.”

“It was nothing.” Keith rolled his eyes. “We were sparring in the gym for practice and someone dropped a big weight outside which made Shiro freeze up when I was coming at him and I knocked the wind out of him by accident. Loud bangs and stuff like that can spook him sometimes.”

“And this was witnessed?”

“Yeah, Adam stormed in and accused me of abusing him just like he’s doing now.” Keith glared until he felt Shiro’s hand curl around his own and squeeze. He softened a little at the touch. “He’s been harassing me and Shiro for a while now. This is just another attempt at that.”

“Harassing?” Iverson frowned and opened the laptop on his desk. “How so?”

Keith squeezed Shiro’s hand as he recounted the incidents. The nasty comments, the glares, the confrontation in the gym again, and the hallway of their apartment. Iverson wrote it all down and for the first time sitting in that office, Keith actually felt like he was being listened to. Part of him wondered where the hell that attitude was when he was getting bullied as a cadet, but he supposed it was a bigger deal if two higher ranked officials were having conflict like this. 

“We take this kind of unprofessionalism very seriously.” Iverson said when he shut the lid to the laptop again. “We’ll be speaking again with Adam and we are taking his complaint seriously as well, but it seems there’s a bigger problem behind it. Shiro, I believe you have a class to teach, yes?”

“I do.” Shiro breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks for speaking with us, Sir. Let me know if there’s any other information you need.”

Iverson gave a nod and Keith rose from his seat, keeping his hand in Shiro’s as they left the office. 

“Are you okay?” Keith asked as soon as they stepped outside, his hand rising to cup Shiro’s face while no one was looking. 

“Are you?”

“I’m fine.” Keith frowned. “He’s an asshole. I’m not gonna let him fuck with us like this.”

“That’s my Keith.” Shiro sighed, his hover hand drifting to Keith’s waist. “Can I kiss you here?”

Keith let him and leaned right into it, wanting to give Shiro a little comfort before he had to go stand in front of a classroom. “I love you. We’ll work on wedding stuff when you’re home, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled. “Thanks, Keith. I love you too.”

They parted with a hug and Keith headed home to get started on dinner. He was anxious, but he felt like Iverson actually took them seriously about Adam and he wanted Shiro to come home to a little love and comfort. 

Kosmo greeted him at the door when Keith made it back to the apartment and he let the wolf give his hands a few loving licks before he locked the door and went to get cooking. If Adam was finally going to get in trouble for the shit he was pulling, they might as well celebrate over dinner.

**

Shiro came home with tension in his shoulders and tired eyes, so Keith let dinner sit on the table and took him to the bedroom. He stripped him out of his uniform with care and laid him down, asking him about the rest of his day while he straddled Shiro’s hips and massaged out all the stress. 

“The kids were actually great today. This Adam thing just stressed me out. I think they respect me a little more after coming back from the mission, so I don’t think any rumors spread. They actually seem really excited to practice the simulations more.”

“That’s great.” Keith smiled as he ran his hands over Shiro’s bare back, working lotion into the warm skin. “Any run ins with Adam?”

“Nope. I’m worried about bumping into him though.”

“Don’t stress too much. Just walk right past him and tell me if he tries to pull anything.” Keith bent down and kissed the side of Shiro’s neck. “How would you feel about suit shopping this weekend? Maybe we can go check that venue out too.”

“I’d love that.” Shiro smiled, his eyes shut as Keith worked his hands up to squeeze his shoulders. “It’s so nice to come home to you, Keith. I can’t wait to get married.”

“You’re sweet.” Keith gave his neck a little scratch to make Shiro purr and his heart warmed seeing his fiancé so relaxed. “Hey, how about we take a bubble bath after dinner? Classes were a little hard today and that Adam thing was weird. I think we could use it.”

“You’re perfect.” Shiro said in a near whisper when Keith bent down again to nibble at his ear. “You should fuck me tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” Shiro breathed, the muscles in his back flexing and relaxing under Keith’s touch. “Whatever you want to do to me, Baby.”

“Long as you want me to.” Keith said, giving Shiro a final squeeze before climbing off of him. “Come eat dinner and we’ll spend the evening having fun, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Shiro pushed himself up and off the bed before pulling Keith into one more hug and humming. “You’re such a dream husband.”

“You’re cheesy after a massage.”

“I just love coming home to you so much.” Shiro said when he pulled back, leaning right back in to plant a proper kiss on Keith’s lips that made his cheeks bloom pink and eyes glow behind his closed lids. “Let’s go eat.”

**

Keith stayed up that night. They’d had sex with the door unlocked for the first time since Shiro came back and going on top had helped him feel a little more in control, but something in him was still buzzing. He had no clue if Shiro was going to want to fly again after that rough mission and he was apprehensive to settle too quickly into the security of having Shiro home - possibly for good. 

He wished there was a place at the Garrison that could provide a happy medium for Shiro. A man who loved the universe and everything in it there was to see, but had been through so much and deserved a life of happiness and domestic bliss. Keith wanted him to have all of that. He raked his fingers through Shiro’s silver hair as he slept, soothing him whenever he twitched in his sleep. Kosmo was asleep on the floor next to the bed and Keith felt so safe with the two of them. They were like a little family. He didn’t want anything to be separated again. 

**

Keith woke up still naked with Shiro draped over him, his breath on his neck and his hover arm off and rested on the nightstand. Kosmo wasn’t in the room anymore, probably running around outside, or chilling on the couch instead. 

“Hey you.” Keith whispered, nuzzling his nose against Shiro’s head. “Time for work, Baby.”

“Mm, lame.” Shiro mumbled, nuzzling his cheek against Keith’s chest. “We should move off the grid and sleep in forever.”

“You’re such a dork. Go hop in the shower while I make breakfast.”

“Nope.” Shiro shook his head and lifted up to press a sleepy kiss to Keith’s cheek. “Sleep in. I’ve got it.”

“Babe.” Keith rolled his eyes. “You don’t have time to shower, eat, and make your lunch.”

“Oh.” Shiro blinked. “Wow you really had this morning thing figured out, huh?”

“Mhm.” Keith smiled, pushing a lazy hand through Shiro’s hair. “Let me make you breakfast. You can pack your own lunch.”

“I’ll get up earlier tomorrow.” Shiro said, giving him a squeeze before pulling away, letting Keith eye him naked as he got out of bed. “I’m gonna start pulling my weight more.”

“Baby, I like to help you.”

“I know you do, but I think I’ve been too reliant on how doting you are. It’s sweet, but it’s not super fair to you. We’re partners, yeah? I want to act like one.” 

“That’s a really beautiful sentiment, Takashi, but your dick is out and I can’t take you too seriously.” Keith teased as he stretched his arms out. “Go shower. I’ll handle food for the morning.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to Keith’s forehead. “You like when my dick’s out.”

**

Keith was anxious about the Adam situation, but he tried to put it out of his head. He focused on getting Shiro out the door with a belly full of a healthy breakfast and a lunch box to get him through the day, then changed into jeans and a sweater for class. He had his first quiz in abnormal, so he didn’t have time to worry about stupid ex-boyfriend drama. 

He was a little bit excited about the prospect of  _ maybe _ sleeping in a little more on weekdays, but he didn’t want to stop waking up with Shiro in the mornings. Maybe a good compromise would be that he wouldn’t get up on Fridays when he doesn’t have class. 

He focused hard in his classes and wracked his brain on every question of the quiz. He felt like he knew all of the answers, but he never wanted to rely solely on his gut. Shiro had taught him that. Combine instinct with thought and patience. 

When the scantron came back with a hundred percent, Keith’s eyes lit up. The only thing he’d ever scored that high on was flight training simulations and that was only when he was disciplined enough. He folded the scantron with the grade and put it in his pocket, beaming the whole way back to the apartment. He was  _ doing _ this. Never in his life had he thought college would be an option, but he was fucking acing it. 

He took his phone out of his pocket when he walked back into the apartment building. It was the short break before Shiro’s last class and he couldn’t wait a single minute longer to tell him.

“Keith? Hey, everything good?”

“Everything’s great.” Keith grinned as he climbed the stairs. “I got an A. A fucking  _ A _ , Shiro.  _ Me _ .”

“I knew you would.” Shiro laughed. “Baby, you’re working really hard at this. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Takashi. Can we celebrate when you’re home?”

“Whatever you want, Baby.” Shiro said and Keith shivered. 

“I might have an idea.” Keith said, stepping out into their hallway and heading for the door when he stopped. Adam was there again, on the far end of the hallway. He shut his mouth and went to unlock their door, but Adam turned and caught sight of him, glaring hard enough to make Keith fumble as he unlocked the door. 

“Babe? You still there?”

“Adam’s in our  _ fucking _ hallway again.” Keith scowled, stepping inside and locking the front door before looking around the living room to spot Kosmo curled up on the couch. He went right over and gave him a few pets hello to calm down. “He just fucking glared at me. I think he does know someone up here and was maybe waiting for them, but fuck, aren’t they taking care of this shit?”

“I’ll tell Iverson on my way home. I’m sorry, Baby.”

“It’s fine.” Keith sighed. “I still want to celebrate.”

“We will. Today’s still a great day, yeah? I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Shiro.” Keith breathed. “I’ll see you at home.”

“See you.” Shiro said and Keith could hear a little smile in his voice. “Bye, Babe.”

They hung up and Keith deflated onto the couch with Kosmo. He had to admit this shit with Adam being in their hallway was just creepy, but he was still over the moon. His first college A and they had a lot of wedding stuff to plan. Plus, he definitely had some congratulatory sex coming his way. 

“Come on Bud, let’s make dinner together.” Keith said, scratching Kosmo behind the ears when he hauled himself up. There might be a little champagne left in the back of the fridge. 

**

In preparation for Shiro’s arrival home, Keith slipped into a thong to keep as a surprise under his sweatpants. His look  _ sounded _ sloppy, but he knew he looked adorable in loungewear and that Shiro would kiss him a little bit more if he was looking cozy. Plus, he was most comfortable with a sweater and pants lately.  

He roasted chicken for dinner and dug out half a bottle of slightly flat champagne before settling onto the couch to wait for the front door to open and snuggle up with Kosmo a bit. 

When Shiro came home, he burst right through the door and dropped his things as he kicked it shut behind him. “Keith, holy shit, I have news.”

“Huh?” Keith blinked. “If you say it’s another mission right now, I  _ will _ cry.”

“No Baby, it’s really good news.” Shiro grinned, walking up and sitting next to him as his hover hand came up to cup Keith’s cheek. “Baby, Adam’s gone.”

“What?” Keith frowned. “How? Did something-”

“I went to tell Iverson about him hanging around again and he told me the situation’s being handled. Adam’s transferring. He’s gonna work on a new coordination project with the Garrison and the air force, so he’s moving. He’s moving  _ far _ and he’s on super thin ice apparently. He was just told today, so that might be why he was lurking, but he’ll be gone by like tomorrow.”

“Wait seriously?” Keith raised his eyebrows. “That’s… That’s fucking great for us.”

“Right?” Shiro leaned in and nipped at his neck. “I’m so fucking proud of you for acing that quiz, Baby. Can I make you feel good before dinner? No more crazy ex-boyfriend talk.”

“Mm, yes please.” Keith purred as Shiro lapped at his skin. “No hickies. I don’t want my professors to think I’m slut.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” Shiro said, pulling away and taking Keith’s hands. “We’re having a ton of sex lately, but I uh… I think it’s pretty healthy considering.”

“I’m not complaining.” Keith smiled when Shiro tugged him towards their room, his eyes already glowing in anticipation. “I’m gonna try to make some noise like I want to this time.”

“Great, Baby.” Shiro smiled right back as he shut them in the bedroom and locked the door for him. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

**

Shiro’s nightmare that night caught Keith off guard. They had an amazing time earlier with multiple orgasms and Keith finally getting used to moaning a bit like he wanted to again. They’d showered together and ate on the couch, snuggled up and cozy. When they went to bed, Keith was the little spoon, all wrapped up and safe in Shiro’s arms. 

But he woke up to screams. Shiro was thrashing beside him, his hover hand ripping the sheets as he cried out. 

“Takashi!” Keith forced himself awake to grab Shiro’s shoulders, holding him down as best he could and shaking him a little. “Baby, Baby, wake up. It’s a nightmare. You’re safe, I’m right here.”

Shiro sat up so fast when he woke up, he almost hit Keith in the nose, but instinct made Keith dodge before he moved back in to comfort him. 

“I got you, Baby.” Keith said, wrapping his arms around him. “Deep breaths.”

“ _ Fuck _ .” Shiro swore, his voice heavy with tears as he shook in his grip. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Takashi, it’s fine. I’m right here.”

“No, Baby no. Go back to sleep.”

“What?” Keith frowned. “When have I ever gone back to sleep when you’re having an episode like this? Come on. Let’s get you some dry pajamas an-”

“Keith, no.” Shiro shook his head. “Don’t. Please.”

Keith’s heart sank, pulling his hands away from him. “You don’t want my help?”

“It’s not like that.”

“You’ve never turned me away when you’re upset like this.” Keith swallowed. If he was on his cycle, he’d probably be crying, but he wasn’t, so he swallowed the lump in his throat.  “Takashi, you’re-”

Shiro just sighed and got out of bed, walking up to the dresser himself to find new pajamas. 

Keith felt a pang in his chest at that. He always got up and found new pajamas for Shiro when he sweated through the ones he had on. “Did I do something?”

“Baby, no.” Shiro said as he stripped his tank top off and pulled on a dry t-shirt. “I’m just… I-I’m trying to pull my own weight. You do too much for me already.”

“What? I always comfort you.”

Shiro bit his lip and Keith’s shoulders slumped. He hadn’t for that one week, but it didn’t change that he always wanted to take care of Shiro. “Keith, after what happened, I’m afraid that I’m too reliant on you. I know you’ll always be here for me, but it’s not a fair burden to put on you.”

“It’s not a burden.”

“It is, Baby. You shouldn’t be up at three a.m. dealing with me when you have class in the morning.”

“Takashi, you’re my fiancé. We’re getting married, I’m not gonna just go back to sleep when you’re shaking.”

“But-”

“Shiro.” Keith got out of bed and walked up to him, pushing his hand into his damp hair to stroke his scalp and relax him just a little. “I know we’re kind of co-dependent and it’s… not perfect, but I can’t just watch you be in pain, okay? Will you let me take care of you?”

Shiro took a deep breath and shook his head again. “I’m gonna take a shower, drink some tea, and come back to bed. Go back to sleep, Baby.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Shiro turned his head and pressed a kiss to Keith’s cheek before grabbing some shorts from the dresser and pulling away to lock himself in the bathroom. 

Keith stood by the dresser and stared at the drawer, his heart weighing a thousand pounds in the moment. Had he made Shiro feel like he was a burden? What was wrong with him? His mouth wobbled, but he walked out to the kitchen to make Shiro’s tea. He’d be damned if he did absolutely nothing to help when Shiro was suffering. This wasn’t just any nightmare either, Shiro had been  _ screaming _ .  

He made the tea just how Shiro liked and went back to put it on the nightstand before changing their bedding. He put on fresh sheets and added a blanket in case Shiro got chilly with wet hair before lying back down again to try and sleep. If Shiro didn’t want his comfort, he couldn’t force it on him, but his heart still ached when he shut his eyes. How was he going to be a good husband if Shiro didn’t want his help? What would Shiro even want him around for? 

Keith’s mouth wobbled and he reached back for an extra pillow, hugging it tight to his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed he’d fall asleep before Shiro got out of the shower. 

**

Keith woke up without the familiar presence of Shiro’s arms around his waist and opened his eyes to see him already dressed for work. “Did my alarm go off?”

“I turned it off to let you sleep.” Shiro said, buttoning the last button on his jacket before walking over to kiss his forehead. “Don’t worry. I left the second one on, so you’d get up in time for class. There’s breakfast in the kitchen.”

“Shiro, I can do that stuff.” Keith frowned. 

“I know you can, but take it easy, okay? You deserve it.”

“I don’t want to take it easy.” Keith sighed, laying back down and tugging the covers over his shoulders. Why was Shiro cutting him out? 

“Just focus on class today, Baby. I’m fine. Really.” Shiro reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I love you.”

Keith softened a little at the touch. “I love you too. Have a good day.”

“Thanks, Love.” Shiro bent down again and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You too.”

**

Keith couldn’t keep his leg from bouncing in class that day. He was positive they’d gotten over Keith ignoring Shiro for that week, so what had he done to make Shiro push him away? Sure, Shiro could do some things for himself, but Keith  _ liked _ spending the morning with him. He always got to go back to sleep for at least a little bit. He treasured sharing morning showers, sleepy kisses, and goodbye hugs with his future husband.  _ Husband _ . His heart sank at the thought that he might not live up to the word. Shiro deserved someone to take care of him. Keith couldn’t do that if Shiro didn’t want his help. 

It was his ethics class that got him thinking. They were learning about different types of therapy, the kinds of expertise needed to do each area well, and what qualifications different counselors have. The phrase couples therapy made Keith sit up straighter. That month of Shiro’s absence had really taken a toll. They were both confused about boundaries and they had a wedding to plan. Talking things out with a neutral party could be really helpful for them.

Keith took his time on the walk home, staring at his phone as he headed back. The Garrison wouldn’t have a couple’s counselor, but he found one nearby that took their insurance and had great reviews. She was also gay friendly and lots of comments on her profile on the healthcare site were from same-sex couples. It lightened his heart knowing there was a solution to all of this. Sure, they were alright about communicating on their own, but this would be something good for them. 

When he got home and greeted Kosmo, he figured a little self care was in order before he did his homework and started dinner, so he stripped down and drew himself a bubble bath. He could stand a little relaxation with everything going on. 

**

Keith was forty-five minutes into his soak when he heard the front door open and looked up from where he was scrolling through Twitter on his phone. God bless water proof cases because he nearly dropped it at the sound. “Shiro?” He called out, prepared to go fight or flight until he heard his fiancé’s voice respond back. 

“It’s me.” Shiro shouted from the living room and Keith blushed as he heard his footsteps approach the bedroom and then the bathroom door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Keith smiled, sitting up in the water when Shiro walked in and shut the door behind him. “You’re home early.”

“Flight simulation day. Last class was cancelled.” Shiro said as he sat on the side of the tub and ran his hand through Keith’s hair. “How’s my ace student?”

“Class was good.” Keith smiled, moving over to rest his head on Shiro’s thigh. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.”

“So… We’re in kind of a weird place right now.” Keith looked up at him, knowing the softness in his eyes would convey he wasn’t trying to start a fight and wasn’t upset. “We didn’t do so well when you were gone and both of us messed up. I think there’s some things we could use some help on and I wanna do the work since we’re getting married.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I want us to go to couples therapy.”

Shiro’s eyebrows raised.

“It doesn’t have to be a big deal, or scary. I just want to talk about stuff. We over rely on each other, but there’s gotta be a way for us to be more independent and manage our anxiety better without losing things I love doing like waking up with you.” Keith braced himself on the side of the tub and raised up to kiss Shiro’s cheek before putting his phone down and settling back into the water. “What do you think?”

“Um…” Shiro sighed. “Baby, I just… Do we need that? Isn’t that for couples who are on the verge of breaking up?”

Keith shook his head. “The best thing to do is to use it when problems are starting. We both have issues and we need to work on them, but couples therapy is a way we can work on ourselves with the relationship in mind.”

“You really are a psych student, huh?” Shiro cracked a smile and bent down to kiss his forehead. “Can I think about it? I mean I don’t want to make you feel like I judge anyone who needs therapy or medication. We went through that and I’m one of those people now, but it still makes me kind of uncomfortable. I feel like we can work it out ourselves.”

“Just think about it for me.” Keith nodded. He wasn’t going to push, but if they kept fighting, he’d bring it up again. “I found this counselor nearby who works with gay couples a lot, so we wouldn’t have to worry about discrimination and she has great reviews. She takes the insurance too.”

“Okay, Baby.” Shiro sighed and let his eyes run over Keith. “Are you almost done or do you wan-”

“Get in.”


	19. Perfect Fit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding shopping and couples counseling!

At least Keith was positive their sex life didn’t have much room for improvement. They still went at it four out of the next seven nights and Keith felt loved and taken care of each time, as did Shiro. They took more bubble baths, but Shiro still wasn’t let Keith do anything for him in the mornings. When Shiro had a nightmare on Friday night, it was small, but he still brushed off Keith’s efforts to help. At least he could go back to sleep this time, so Keith took solace in wrapping Shiro up in his arms and stroking his back until he was down again. 

It was when Shiro tried to lure him out on a date that Keith started thinking again that if Shiro wouldn’t do couples counseling, he needed it for himself. 

“Shiro, no.” Keith said, facing their front door. “Seriously. Not tonight. Not yet.” He’d gotten dressed for it. He’d showered and blown his hair out to make it a little fluffy like Shiro liked, put on tight jeans and an equally tight button down black shirt, but when it came time to walk out the door, he seized up. “Can’t we just order in from the restaurant? I mean a dinner date right now is just…” He sighed. “I’m so sorry. If we go out and some homophobe says shit to us, I won’t want to go outside at all.”

“Baby, I’m afraid if we don’t get you out of the house for something other than school, you won’t be able to get over this.” Shiro said, his eyes full of concern as he put his keys back in his pocket. He was all dressed up and ready too. It broke Keith’s heart to disappoint him. “Even going to school, you’re still wearing sweaters to walk there in the heat. I’m worried.”

“I’m sorry, I just… I-I’m trying to get over this, but-” Keith bit his lip. But he was feeling lost lately. But he felt like Shiro was pushing him away, not letting Keith take care of him and feeling insecure with his own fiancé left him with little of the strength he needed to go be loud and proud at a dinner date. 

“But what?” Shiro asked, walking up and holding Keith by the shoulders. “What can I do?”

“Takashi, I’m all kinds of anxious about what’s going on with us.” Keith sighed. “I mean I love you and I know you love me. I know that’s not changing, but this thing where you’re not letting me take care of you makes me feel powerless, or like you don’t want me and with those feelings on top of getting over the Matt incident, I’m just… I-I don’t have the fortitude to go out there right now.” His shoulders slumped as he said it, but he leaned into Shiro and tucked his head into his neck. “I don’t know how to navigate this. I want you to be independent, but I want to take care of you and I want to be less reliant on you, but I’m so scared of losing you again.”

“Shit.” Shiro took a deep breath. “Keith, you know there’s nothing I love more than you taking care of me, but we have to work on this codependency. We were never like this before. I know part of it is that the constant action of war kept us distracted and sharp, but we’re settling into life together now and we both have a lot of trauma to cope with.”

“So why won’t you do therapy with me?” Keith swallowed. “If you want to work on that stuff, we need to try something different. I don’t know how to respond to you not letting me help.”

“Keith.” Shiro hugged him back, but he was shifting on his feet. “I just… I mean, it feels weird to voice all our dirty laundry to a stranger.”

“You know I’m studying to  _ be _ a therapist right?” Keith said, pulling back and looking up at him. “Not that it’s gonna erase the fact I’m a kickass pilot who could probably break Adam in two, but still, it’s something I’m about to make my life’s work. I want you to be open to participating in it.”

“You would be an amazing therapist.” Shiro sighed, pressing his forehead against Keith’s. “I’m not trying to push you away, Baby. I’m just nervous about the counseling thing, but I’ll try it if it means that much to you. I mean we can’t need more than a few sessions, yeah?”

“Thanks, Takashi.” Keith breathed as he pulled him into a hug. Shiro smelled like his new cologne and the scent drew him right in. “We just need some tools to support each other in the right ways. We keep going all or nothing.”

“We are a little dramatic.”

“I  _ did _ attempt to fall to the death with you like two years ago.”

Shiro laughed a little and turned his head to kiss him, just a short touch of their lips to let Keith know everything was fine. “Look, for now, I want to keep trying to do a little more on my own, but I’m not gonna stop giving you attention, okay? You’re everything. I won’t make you go out tonight either, but I am gonna take cute pictures of you all dressed up, we’re ordering out from the same restaurant,  _ and _ I’m gonna make the dinner table fancy.”

“That sounds perfect.” Keith melted right into him and leaned up for another kiss, taking Shiro’s bottom lip between his teeth and giving it a loving little nibble. “Thanks for being so understanding. I might go back to regular therapy by myself depending on how this goes, I just…” He pulled back, but kept his arms around Shiro’s neck. “How long am I gonna let that one incident from my past haunt me you know? I shouldn’t be so affected by one embarrassing mishap in our relationship that I feel like I can’t even go to dinner with you. You need a husband you can take out and who’s proud of us.” He put his hand on Shiro’s cheek and kissed the tip of his nose. “I’m gonna work on this. Thanks for not forcing me tonight.”

“You’re incredible, you know that?” Shiro said, sliding his hand down to the small of Keith’s back. “You look beautiful tonight. At least I get to see you, yeah?” He nuzzled their noses together. “Why don’t you go order the food while I set the table? You know my order.”

Keith blushed a little as he took his arms away. He did know Shiro’s order like the back of his hand. “I’ll go call. Use the nice candles I keep under the sink.”

“Will do, Babe.” Shiro grinned, giving his wrist a squeeze before heading for the kitchen. “Get dessert too!”

**

“Am I terrible for feeling weird?” Shiro grimaced when they sat alone in the waiting room. “This just… This feels really weird, Keith.”

“It’s fine. Your only experience with counseling thus far was your psych evaluations and this isn’t gonna be like that.” Keith said, reaching over to scratch the back of his neck. “I’ve been through the ringer with this. I can help you talk.”

“I guess.”

Keith wouldn’t have done it if the waiting room wasn’t empty, but he leaned over and pressed a short kiss to Shiro’s lips, nuzzling their noses together before parting. “It’ll be okay.”

Shiro relaxed a little and reached his hand over to squeeze his knee. 

“Keith and Shiro?” A young woman with red hair and glasses asked as she stepped into the waiting room. 

“That’s us.” Keith nodded, standing up and pulling Shiro with him, so they could follow her back to her office. 

It was a cozy little room. She had a desk with a computer and a comfy couch that looked like heaven. Keith sat down and leaned into Shiro when he took the place next to him on the sofa and the doctor shut the door. 

“So feel free to make yourselves comfortable however you like. It gets a little chilly, but I have plenty of blankets.” She sat down in the spinny chair by the desk and turned in it to face them, grabbing a notebook and a pen from the desk. “I also like to start by saying that whatever brought you here, coming to therapy together is a great positive step. What’s going on?”

Shiro looked to Keith for help and Keith complied, putting his hand on Shiro’s thigh for comfort as he spoke. He asked her a little about whether or not she knew them from the news and all that, then just filled in the blanks. He’d lost Shiro twice before and when he had to let go of him again for a month, they both nearly lost their minds. 

“Baby, shouldn’t you um…” Shiro cleared his throat. “I-I mean um… The thing? I don’t know if you want to bring it up here, but the incident? Both times?”

“Incident?” The doctor blinked and Keith felt his face warm. 

“I guess.” Keith grimaced, looking at his lap as he recounted. He told it as quickly as possible. He was bullied a lot for being gay and when he was losing his virginity, multiple classmates broke into the room and jumped him. He told her briefly that it had given him a lot of anxiety and most of the time he can only have sex with all the doors and windows closed and locked. He told her that when Shiro was away, they had sex over video chat and that their mutual friend had walked in and seen him and since then, he was having trouble going out with Shiro or wearing outfits that exposed even just his arms. 

“You two have been through a lot.” She nodded in understanding. “Keith, what scares you about going out on dates?”

“I don’t like people looking at us. A-At me.” He swallowed, leaning into Shiro, who snaked his full arm around his waist and squeezed. “I’m on meds and they keep me from having full on panic attacks most of the time, but I still get… nervous.”

They go back and forth for a while, talking about baby steps they can take to ease him into comfort with a little PDA. Keith was actually surprised that Shiro was taking it so seriously. He even made notes on his phone of tips the therapist gave him to help Keith when they decide to go out. 

When they moved back to the issue of Shiro turning down Keith’s help, Keith shut up and let his fiancé talk, rubbing his back to try and ease the tension. He knew Shiro was nervous, but his heart was kind of swelling at the fact that he was trying so hard. 

“He just does too much for me.” Shiro sighed. “He’s saved my life so many times. He’s done everything. It doesn’t feel right to keep him up at night because I’m having an episode when he has class in the morning and then he’ll still wake up early to make my lunch and breakfast and get my clothes out. I’m not doing enough.”

“Shiro, I like doing those things.” Keith said, giving his knee a squeeze, but Shiro shook his head. 

“You need to focus on school. You’re doing so great there and I don’t want you to think you have to do all these things.”

“It sounds like we need to find a middle ground.” The doctor interrupted. “Keith, what do you like about getting up with Shiro?”

“Um.” Keith blushed. 

“And feel free to tell these things to him and not to me.”

Keith took a deep breath and nodded, turning to face Shiro and looking at him with soft eyes. “I-I like waking up with you. You’re really cute and sweet in the mornings and I like to kiss you goodbye before you go to work. I don’t like waking up to an empty bed because you’ve already left.”

“You really like waking up at the crack of dawn just for a kiss or two?” Shiro smiled.

“I go back to bed, or get ready for school when you leave and I feel a lot more confident starting the day when I start it with you.” Keith shrugged. It was cheesy and his face turned red saying it, but it was true. 

“So what’s a new morning routine that you two can do together?” The therapist asked and Keith saw Shiro blush this time. 

“We um… We really like the shower.” Shiro cleared his throat. “It doesn’t have to be for sex every time, or at all, but maybe we could get up at the same time and you join me when you want to? Then we can do breakfast together before I go and I’ll help you make it and I’ll make my own lunch.”

“That sounds like a pretty good compromise.” She shrugged. “Keith?”

“Yeah.” Keith swallowed. “Y-Yeah, it does.”

They were near the end of their time, so Shiro wrote the therapist a check and they headed out. Keith’s face was still warm, but his shoulders felt less tense and his heart felt lighter. “Does this mean I can comfort you when you have nightmares again?”

“Yeah.” Shiro nodded. “I feel a lot better.”

“Me too.” Keith sighed as they walked through the waiting room. “That was good for us, yeah?”

Shiro hummed in agreement and held out his hand as they approached the exit. Keith’s heart gave a nervous thump, but he took it, lacing their fingers together as they walked out to head home. 

Keith didn’t care who saw them. 

**

Sure, one therapy session couldn’t solve all their problems at the drop of a hat, but when Keith woke up with Shiro the next morning, things were different. 

“You coming with me?” Shiro whispered, pressing a lazy line of kisses down Keith’s neck while his alarm went off. “I set it a little earlier, so we can take our time. Whatever you want.”

“Mm.” Keith sighed, blinking his eyes open and running a hand through Shiro’s hair. Kosmo had perched himself at the foot of the bed and Keith just felt warm, all homey and surrounded by love. “Bring the lube.”

Shiro gave him a light bite on the shoulder and rolled off, taking the lube from their bedside drawer as he headed for the bathroom. 

Keith was quick to follow, making his tired muscles push himself up out of bed and into their bathroom. He shut the door behind them and hesitated a moment before leaving it unlocked. He actually felt kind of safer doing that with Kosmo around and stuff. If any unlikely home invader ever made their way in, they’d get body slammed by a wolf from outer space. “I’m liking this new routine.” He yawned, stripping off his t-shirt and pushing his sweatpants down as Shiro got undressed too. 

“Me too.” Shiro grinned, naked when he reached in and turned the hot water on. “Come here.” He pulled Keith in by the hips and kissed him, soft and sweet with a closed mouth. It warmed Keith right up. “Are you gonna be noisey for me?”

“If you earn it.” Keith teased, pushing him back, so they could both step into the shower and slide the glass shut behind them. He let Shiro take the water, running his hands through his fiancé’s soaked hair and grinning when it made him purr. “You really like it when I touch your hair, huh?”

“Love.” Shiro sighed, tipping his head forward to let Keith lightly scratch his nails over his scalp. 

“You’re like a cat.” Keith kissed the top of his head before using his hand to raise Shiro’s chin and kiss the water droplets from his lips. He opened his mouth this time, letting Shiro get a little taste of his tongue until he slid his hand around to grab at Keith’s ass, press him closer. “We have time, but not too much, so you might want to get started.”

Shiro took the hint and stepped a little out of the water to slick his fingers, using his hover hand to float behind and do the prep work while they kissed. 

Keith appreciated the position, widening his stance as he wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck and sighed into the kisses. Shiro was an expert with that prosthetic, using the metal fingers to massage his prostate and stretch him without pain. 

“Good?” Shiro asked, kissing the corner of Keith’s mouth. 

“Great.” Keith sighed against him. “How do you want me?”

“Close.” Shiro said as he slipped his fingers out and turned Keith around, pressing him against the wall as he slicked himself up. “Like this.” He pressed himself up close against Keith from behind, his length sliding up against Keith’s lower back. “Ready?”

It took hardly a minute for Shiro to work all the way inside and find a rhythm, pressing himself up against Keith and rocking into him with shallow thrusts, so they were as close as possible. 

“Shiro.” Keith panted against the wall. “Baby, fuck.”

“Be as loud as you want to be, Love.” Shiro said with a few kisses to Keith’s shoulder and a roll of his hips. 

Keith let himself go for that moment and moaned, his eyes rolling back just a little when Shiro rolled like that. He knew what that move did to him when he was this deep and it made his toes curl against the porcelain edge of the tub. Shiro’s hands were on his waist, keeping him steady. 

“That’s it, Baby.”

“ _ Takashi _ .” Keith whined, caught between pushing his hips forward to grind his cock against the wet tile for friction, or pushing them back against Shiro. 

“So good for me.” Shiro murmured into his ear. “I love how good you are when I fuck you, but you can fuck me just as hard.”

“Ah!” Keith cried out when Shiro thrusted forward and he clamped his hand over his mouth in response. 

“Hey, hey no one can hear.” Shiro said. “It’s just you and me. No one else. Just us and you can make as much noise as you want to.”

Keith removed his hand and whimpered, pushing himself desperately back against him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Baby.” Shiro said, wrapping one arm around to splay his hand over Keith’s chest, holding them together. “Do you want me to pull out? I-I’m getting kind of-”

“Cum inside.” Keith grunted. “Cum in me. I’ll wash it out.” He clenched his muscles to speed things along for Shiro and sighed when he felt his partner start to stutter a little in his rhythm. 

“Cum for me, Keith.” Shiro punctuated the command with another roll of his hips and Keith saw stars, his knees nearly buckling. 

“Nnnn,  _ Takashiiii _ .” Keith squeezed his eyes shut. “Hhh… A-Ah, fuck, A-Ah! Shiro!” He was loud, but he wasn’t feeling any panic. “I-I’m right there, right there, right  _ there! FUCK!” _ Keith banged his fist against the wall when he came, spurting against his stomach and up to his chest as Shiro fucked him through orgasm, his legs shaky and weak as pleasure washed over him. He felt Shiro buck up and spill inside him along the way and it made everything even better. “Oh my God… Shiro.” He breathed, eyes still shut as he came down. “Holy shit.”

“You’re so good for me.” Shiro murmured as he kissed up the side of his neck and pulled out. “Come here.”

Keith turned around in his arms and hugged him tight as he caught him in a kiss, catching Shiro’s bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling a little before he pulled away and nuzzled their noses together. 

“I love starting my day with you.” Shiro sighed. 

“Me too.” Keith smiled, giving him a squeeze before reaching past him to grab the shampoo. “Come here.”

**

They made breakfast together and Keith got to give Shiro a lengthy kiss goodbye before sending him off. This was better. He didn’t have to get up and do a bunch of chores and he still got the morning with Shiro. He had to admit, he was itching for the honeymoon. It’d be nice to just have a long period away with him.

**

Keith was still considering going back to regular therapy for himself, but for the time being after the appointment, he decided to try a little harder to get back to the comfort level he’d been at before Shiro left. They had to go shopping for wedding suits soon and he should be able to enjoy that. He should be able to be a little affectionate and he already knew he’d be swooning at the sight of Shiro trying on tuxes. 

“You good?” Shiro asked that weekend when they stood in front of the front door. It was eighty degrees out, but Keith had a jacket on. 

“I’m good.” Keith breathed. “I want this to be fun. We have an appointment too, so I don’t think it’ll be too crazy, or crowded, or anything. Kiss me, hold my hand, whatever, and I’ll try to get used to doing that stuff in public again.”

“Okay, then.” Shiro grinned as he leaned in for a kiss, pressing his lips against Keith’s for one short moment to soothe him before he took his keys from his pocket and they headed out. 

**

Keith tried to start taking baby steps as soon as they were out the door. In the backseat of their ride, he rested his hand on Shiro’s thigh, squeezing it. He didn’t miss the way the little gesture made his soon to be husband light up. 

“This place is… nice.” Keith blinked when they approached the boutique. There were suits in the window and he didn’t want to know what they cost. 

“This’ll be fun and it’s kind of private, so don’t stress out, yeah?” Shiro said, planting a kiss on Keith’s forehead before offering his hand. 

Keith took it and laced their fingers together, smiling as they walked inside and were greeted by the receptionist. Shiro handled the talking, giving his name for the appointment and they were lead to the back of the store where they could sit on a comfy white couch and a dark haired woman in a pencil skirt came out to greet them. 

“Hi! Shiro and Keith?”

“That’s us.” Shiro grinned, giving Keith’s hand a little squeeze. 

“Great! So I read the note on your appointment and I have a couple options that I think you guys might like. I’m gonna bring the first ones out.”

“Awesome.” Shiro beamed, turning to Keith with so much excitement in his eyes that Keith couldn’t help feeling a little bit excited as well. He didn’t think that he cared so much about what they wore for the wedding, but he liked that Shiro did and it made him care a little too. 

Keith watched as the woman wheeled out a mannequin dressed in a white tux with black accents and then another dressed in a black tux with white accents. 

“So Shiro, we’re thinking white for you and black for Keith, yes?”

“Yeah.” Shiro nodded, giving Keith’s hand a squeeze. “That looks great, can we try them on?”

“Of course!” She smiled, cocking her heads towards the dressing rooms. 

“Come on.” Shiro pressed a kiss to Keith’s cheek and stood up, taking Keith with him as the woman helped undress the mannequins and handed them each their respective suits. They’d have to be altered of course, but they’d get a feel for how they looked. “Keith, can you help me in to mine first?” 

“Hm?” Keith blushed. “Uhh, yeah. Sure.”

“Thanks.” Shiro said as he let Keith take him into one of the dressing rooms. 

“Do you actually need my help?” Keith asked with a raised eyebrow as he shut the curtain and started to unbutton Shiro’s shirt. 

“Yeah actually.” Shiro winced, floating his hover hand up to wave it. “We fixed up all my clothes to fit it, but I don’t want to damage the jacket on this or anything, trying to get my shoulder into it.”

“Oh.” Keith frowned. “Okay, hey, we’ll be careful. I got you.”

“Thanks, Baby.”

“Of course.” Keith’s heart warmed as he gave Shiro a kiss and opened his shirt up, pulling it form Shiro’s torso before opening his belt. “Let’s just get you undressed and we’ll get it on piece by piece.”

“You know I love how doting you are.” Shiro said as Keith undid the button and zipper of his jeans. They both knew he didn’t have to, but they both blushed at the fact that he was doing it anyways. 

Keith let Shiro step out of his jeans and took a moment to appreciate the sight of his fiancé in nothing but some dorky tighty whities before he handed him the white tuxedo pants to step into. “How’s the fit?”

“A little snug.” Shiro said as he zipped them up.

“You  _ do _ have a lot in the trunk.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Shiro snorted. 

“I’m not wrong.” Keith took the white shirt and draped it over Shiro’s shoulders. “We’ll leave the top two unbuttoned, so your shoulder has space.” He said as he did up the buttons, leaving the top ones undone, so the metal on Shiro’s shoulder wouldn’t stretch the fabric. “We’ll get the sleeve up here sewn shut like we usually do.” He said, wrapping the black cummberbund around Shiro’s waist and fastening it. “Feel good?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled, his cheeks pink as he watched Keith work. 

Keith smiled too and tied the bow tie loosely around Shiro’s collar before putting the blazer on his shoulder, letting Shiro ease his full arm through the sleeve before he rolled up the other one to make it fit against Shiro’s shoulder. 

“What do you think?”

Keith took a step back and felt his eyes glow a little as he looked him over. Wow. So that’s what Shiro would look like when they got married. The white made his hair stand out and he looked adorable with the sleeve all bunched up. It was perfect for him. “I love it.”

“Yeah?” Shiro raised his eyebrows. “I feel kind of silly.”

“We just need to get it fitted right for you.” Keith said, walking up and leaning in to catch Shiro in a kiss. “I love you.” He whispered, still smiling when he nuzzled his nose against Shiro’s. “You’re gonna look amazing.”

“I love you too.” Shiro grinned back at him, his eyes still all shiny and excited when Keith gave him an extra kiss on the cheek. “Go get yours.”

Keith nodded and left the dressing room to grab his own tux, taking it before quickly retreating back behind the curtain and undressing himself. Shiro was happy to help, although he did a little more gentle groping than he did actually helping him get his clothes off, but Keith wasn’t complaining. 

Shiro gave him kiss after kiss as he helped Keith into the black tuxedo. “We’ll tighten these a little.” He said when he hooked his fingers in the waistband of the pants. “Arms.” He draped the shirt around him and Keith eased his arms through the sleeves, his eyes yellow as Shiro did the buttons up one by one. Unlike the pants, the shirt was too tight once they buttoned it up to the collar and the fabric clung to his chest. He was still working out, so his chest was defined and he didn’t miss the way Shiro’s eyes lingered. “You’re so fucking pretty.” Shiro sighed, wrapping the silver cummberbund around his waist before he did the bow tie for him. “Alright, jacket?”

Keith handed it over and put his arms through when Shiro put it on him. It fit almost perfectly. “Well?”

“You’re beautiful.” Shiro laughed. “Seriously.” He smoothed his hands down Keith’s sides and kissed him properly, warm and soft as he lingered, even brushing his tongue over his bottom lip. “I feel so close to you right now, God, I just…” He met Keith’s eyes and they both smiled a little wider. “Keith, I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me neither.” Keith sighed as he wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him again. “I honestly don’t want to see much else. I feel like these are right.”

“Me too.”

“So… we should go get our measurements taken and send ‘em off to get tailored, yeah?”

“Yup.” Shiro beamed, smacking a big kiss to Keith’s cheek before pulling away to get undressed again. 

It took a few minutes to get out of the tuxedos, but then they were off to a different room with two mirrors and racks of clothes all around. After confirming that they wanted those suits in particular, it was time to get measurements. Keith hadn’t thought anything of it until a young guy in a suit came in with a measuring tape and instructed them to take their clothes off. 

“Wait, what?” Keith blinked, looking over to Shiro. 

“Oh.” Shiro got the message quick. “Hey, would it be okay for him at least to stay dressed?”

“Not if you want accurate measurements.” The guy shrugged. “Especially for suits like these.”

“Takashi, I-I can’t.” Keith swallowed. Getting undressed in front of a complete stranger was completely out of the question. “Can we just take it how it was? It didn’t look that bad.”

“Babe, we’re getting married in these. We need to get it tailored for you.” Shiro said, his hover hand coming up to squeeze Keith’s shoulders. His eyes were full of concern, but Keith’s stomach was turning. “What can I do for you? I’m right here.”

“Um.” Keith took a deep breath and looked over at the guy. It was embarrassing. What kind of grown man couldn’t get measured for five minutes? “H-How much can I keep on?”

The tailor looked him over and shrugged. “Just lose the jeans. I’ll measure over the shirt.”

“I’ll be right here, Baby.” Sheith murmured. “We can also go home and I can try to take the measurements for you and we’ll send them in if you can’t do this.”

“Stay with me.”

“Of course.”

“Can you go first?” Keith blushed and Shiro nodded, giving him a quick kiss before he toed his shoes off and walked up to the mirror. He watched as Shiro dropped his pants and fought back a twinge of jealousy when the tailor started to measure up and down his fiancé’s body. He cringed when he took the in seam, not liking someone else’s hand getting so close to a part of Shiro that was only his, plus it made him think about how he was going to handle someone getting so close to himself there in a few minutes.

He distracted himself a little bit by admiring how Shiro’s ass looked in briefs, but he was still close to quivering with anxiety as Shiro finished up. 

“It’ll only take a minute.” Shiro said when he finished, coming up to Keith and kissing his forehead. “You okay?”

“I’m good.” Keith breathed, kicking his shoes off and swallowing hard as he undid the button on his jeans. 

“Just look at me until it’s done, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Keith shivered and let his pants fall to his ankles, stepping out of them and biting his lip as he walked up to the mirror and widened his stance a bit. Shiro walked around into his line of vision, but Keith shut his eyes, trying not to shake as the tailor touched him. It was as professional as could be and he appreciated that no one was commenting on his discomfort, but he almost jerked away when he felt the measuring tape along his inner thigh. 

“And you’re done.”

“That’s it?” Keith blinked his eyes open.

“That’s it.” The tailor nodded. “You guys can get dressed and you’ll get a call when the suits are ready.”

“Thanks.” Keith breathed as he grabbed his jeans and got redressed, melting into the touch when Shiro came up to put a comforting hand on the small of his back. 

“You good?”

“Yeah.” Keith nodded as he turned around and hugged him. “Can we go home now?”

“Mhm.” Shiro hummed with a little kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “Let’s get you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks yall who are still reading!!!


	20. Almost Wedding Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost wedding tiiiime!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late aghhh college is hard

The next several months were a whirlwind of wedding planning and Keith’s first finals. Shiro had stayed up past two in the morning every night to help him study and he’d finished with straight A’s for the first time in his life. They chose a wedding cake, flowers, all their vendors, and the ceremony was getting closer day by day. 

They’d agreed on a honeymoon in Japan. Shiro hadn’t been since he was little and Keith had never been at all. They’d spend two weeks in a coastal cabin by the beach near an amazing spa and hot spring. They’d do plenty of sightseeing, sure, but they mostly wanted privacy. They wanted to get far away from what they knew and an intergalactic vacation had crossed their minds, but they’d feel a little cooped up traveling so far in the lion. Since Keith had started in a spring semester, they had plenty of time for a summer wedding and honeymoon. 

The honeymoon phase hit them early. They woke up together every morning, started the day with sex in the shower more often than not, and cooked breakfast. Shiro was still teaching and Keith had the peace of mind that the wedding was officially too close for Shiro to leave for any missions until they were done with the honeymoon. 

They were a week away from the ceremony when Shiro burst into the apartment and tackled Keith where he was sitting on the couch. 

“Takashi!” Keith yelped, laughing as Shiro peppered his face in kisses. “That tickles!”

“I have news.” Shiro beamed, smacking one more kiss to Keith’s forehead before he pulled back. “Come here.” He sat himself down and gestured for Keith to come closer until he could pull him into his lap. 

“What’s going on with you?” Keith laughed again. “You’re never this excited after work.”

“The Garrison’s starting a new program.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not going on anymore missions.”

Keith raised his eyebrows. “Takashi, you know I hate when you go up there, but are you happy about that? If you wanted to go on another one, I’d still support you.”

“I know.” Shiro smiled. “But I don’t need to. They’re changing up the flight training program entirely starting next year. I’ll still go to space, but not for nearly as long. There’s gonna be two retreats a year from now on where the senior cadets shadow a mission crew and they’ll each only last two weeks. We had this whole long meeting today and not only am I gonna be teaching all the senior cadet class, but I decide where we go and I lead the mission retreats.”

“Shiro.” Keith beamed. “That’s perfect for you.”

“There’s more. The Garrison wants to do this new mental health initiative and provide more resources for cadets who are struggling. Apparently one of the cadets made a suicide attempt which is awful.” Shiro sighed. “But they want to make some big changes and they don’t really know where to start, so… I told them I know an amazing psych student with military training and a 4.0 who may have some insights.”

“Me?” Keith blushed. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Help guide them, Baby. Tell them what you went through here. Tell them what’s missing and what needs to be done and I think by the time you graduate, the Garrison’s going to be looking for a psychiatrist to work with students here that need it and veterans like me who are coping with all kinds of PTSD. Doesn’t that sound perfect for you?”

Keith’s mouth fell open. “Are they… open to me helping with this?”

“They are.” Shiro said, kissing him on each cheek. “And you know if uh… down the line, that was a job you wanted to take, we would both have summers off. We’d be on the same work schedule.”

“It… sounds kind of perfect.” Keith blinked. “Shiro, wow.”

“Right?” 

“Yeah.” Keith smiled. “I guess uh… Everything’s falling into place for us.”

“It really is.” Shiro said, tilting his head and kissing him while his hands held Keith’s hips. 

Keith had to admit he loved being in Shiro’s lap like this, especially when he felt his hand snake around and rest on the small of his back, pushing up under his shirt and stroking the skin. “I love you.” He whispered, nuzzling their noses together. “Dinner’s in the oven.”

“I can get you off fast.”

“Someone’s forward.” Keith laughed, blushing as Shiro kissed up his neck. “I’m not gonna get an I love you back?”

“I love you too.” Shiro grinned, pressing his lips to Keith’s jaw. “You have no idea how impatient I am to see you in your wedding lingerie.”

“I’m dying to see yours too, but we’re saving that.” Keith said with a finger to Shiro’s lips. “I made a nice dinner tonight. Eat and you can do whatever you want to me after.”

“Can I eat you out?” 

Keith shivered and nodded before forcing himself up and out of Shiro’s lap. “Don’t make me hard when I’m not done cooking.”

**

Keith dragged the night out a little just because he could. He liked to make Shiro wait a bit, get him worked up. Plus, he was feeling happy and cuddly from the good news, so after dinner, he told Shiro to find them a movie to watch and went to change into some comfy clothes - even if it made his fiancé pout. He got some cozy shorts on and slipped into one of Shiro’s t-shirts, relishing in how it hung around him and smelled just like Shiro’s deodorant. 

“Did you put the blankets in the dryer?” Keith asked as he stepped out into the living room. 

“Yup.” Shiro nodded, holding open the newest addition to their blanket collection. It was huge, plush, and red and Keith’s favorite thing was tossing it in the dryer for a few minutes before they settle down for movie night. Shiro had his glasses on too and it just made him look so huggable. 

Keith got settled and tucked himself into Shiro’s side, pressing a kiss to his cheek before he laid his head on his shoulder and turned his attention to the movie Shiro had picked. “Mm.” He hummed when Shiro hovered his hand up to stroke his hair. “I’m so happy, Takashi.”

“Me too.” Shiro smiled. “Things are pretty good right now.”

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

“You’re cute.” Shiro pressed a kiss to Keith’s forehead and he preened a little in response, nuzzling his head into the crook of Shiro’s neck. His human hand was on Keith’s thigh under the blanket, squeezing and stroking a little. Keith was so relaxed, he was sure he could melt. 

Keith watched the movie with his eyes half closed. He did intend to have sex before they went to bed for the night, but damn, he was just so warm and cozy. When Shiro’s hand moved over and slipped between his legs, he just sighed and spread his legs a little as he shut his eyes. “I can wake up in a bit and we can have sex if you want.”

“Shh, just relax.” Shiro whispered with a kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “Watch the movie and stay comfy. I just want to touch you.”

“I love you.” Keith mumbled as Shiro slipped his hand inside the shorts and stroked him, his grip warm and gentle as Keith hardened in his hand. He turned his head and pressed a few kisses to Shiro’s neck as a token of gratitude before he went back to half-watching the movie. He loved to be touched like this. It’s slow and relaxed and it makes his whole body feel warm. The blanket trapped the heat and Keith let out a deep sigh as Shiro thumbed his tip, easing out some pre-cum to slick his grip. 

“You’re so adorable.” Shiro murmured, jerking him off in a slow, steady rhythm. “I don’t tell you enough that I actually love your penis.”

“Shiro.” Keith snorted.

“I do.” He laughed, giving it a squeeze and drawing a loving circle around the head with his thumb. “It’s like the perfect size to always fit in my hand and I can get it in my mouth easily, but uh… you also blow my mind when you top.” Shiro kissed Keith’s temple. “I just like to think about how we fit so well together. It’s like we were made for each other.”

“You’re cute.” Keith said, blushing as he sighed in pleasure. Shiro’s hand was warm and Keith always leaks a lot. It made the handjob wet and warm and he appreciated that Shiro kept the fluid in his hand, so it wouldn’t stain his favorite blanket. “Mm, Shiro.”

“Think you can lie down for me, Baby?”

“Mhm.” Keith understood what he wanted and lifted his hips, taking the shorts off and moving over on the couch to lie down on his stomach, hips up with his head on the cushion. He took the blanket with him, keeping it over his shoulders as Shiro hiked it up his hips to expose his ass.

Keith kept his eyes on the TV and purred when he felt Shiro spread his cheeks and lick at the most private place on his body. It felt like he was made of jelly and he gladly parted his knees as much as the couch allowed. Shiro brought the hover hand around to keep stroking him and Keith sighed as his fiancé worked on him. He felt like he really won the lottery here. He had a husband that was perfectly content to eat him out while Keith just laid there and watched a movie with a soft warm blanket around him. Kosmo trolled by and gave him a bit of a look, but Keith just laughed and shut his eyes as Shiro licked over his perineum. “Don’t let me cum on the couch.” He mumbled as he pushed his hips back against Shiro’s tongue.

“I got you Baby, don’t worry.” Shiro cooed, pressing a cute kiss to his right cheek that made Keith laugh again before Shiro put his tongue back to work and it turned into a moan.

Cumming like this had to be peak domesticity. When Keith got close, Shiro read his signs so accurately he was able to reach his other hand around, jerk Keith off to fruition and catch all the cum in his palm to avoid ruining a couch cushion. 

Keith whimpered through it and fell limp when Shiro took his hands and mouth away to get up and wash off. “You’re the best.” Keith breathed, blushing at the kiss Shiro bent down to press on his cheek.

“I’ll be right back, Love.”

“Hurry.” Keith yawned, collapsing onto the sofa to wait for him.

Shiro only took a moment and returned with a washcloth, pulling the blanket back and wiping Keith down, so he could be comfy when he handed him his shorts again. 

“Nah.” Keith scrunched his nose and peeled his t-shirt off. 

“What’s up?” Shiro smiled, taking the shirt from him and setting Keith’s clothes on the coffee table. 

“Well, what’s the point of married life if I can’t snuggle naked on the couch now and then?” Keith shrugged. “Do you want me to do you too?”

Shiro shook his head. “I just wanted to make you feel good tonight, but uh... “ He tugged his shirt off.

“Um.” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“I like to cuddle too.” Shiro pouted before dropping his sweatpants and boxers and motioning for Keith to scootch. 

Keith grinned and moved forward, leaving space for Shiro to slide in behind him and be his big spoon. He moved the blanket over Shiro too and purred as they snuggled in close, skin to skin, to finish up the movie. “This is nice.”

“It is.” Shiro smiled as he kissed up the side of Keith’s neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Keith said as Shiro hooked his leg over his hip to cuddle up closer. “We should wear less clothes.”

“I’ll add it to the vows.”

**

“Are you sure you want to spend the night before apart?” Keith asked when they went to bed, still undressed as Shiro settled onto his chest.

“I think it’ll make the wedding night a little more special.” Shiro yawned, nuzzling his cheek against Keith’s bare chest. “Plus we’re not doing too much that’s traditional, so it’d be cool to do something like that. Are you okay with it?”

“I am.” Keith said with a kiss into Shiro’s silky hair. “Just double checking.”

“You excited for the rehearsal dinner?”

“Yeah.” Keith blushed. “Mom gets in tomorrow morning and the food’s gonna be awesome. I’m excited.”

“Me too. I’ll get us up in the morning to go pick up the rings.”

“Thanks, Baby.” Keith sighed, giving him a squeeze as he shut his eyes. “I can’t wait.”

**

Keith woke up in a love filled daze, opening his eyes to find Shiro pressing a series of soft wake up kisses to his cheeks and neck. They’d fallen into a sleepy make up session, slow and languid until it was time to really get up and get going. 

He was feeling a lot better lately, more confident the closer the wedding got. He could hold Shiro’s hand in public, even share a kiss or two. He put on a tight red button down Shiro had bought him and some black jeans before smacking a kiss to his fiancé’s cheek and grabbing his keys. “You want to go out for coffee after we grab the rings?”

“Of course.” Shiro beamed. “You feel up to that?”

“Why not?” Keith shrugged. “You ready?”

Shiro tugged him in for a kiss  _ way _ too heated just for running a little wedding errand and grabbing a latte, but they both knew it was progress and Keith leaned right into him. “I’m ready.”

They sat close for the ride to the jewelry store, Keith taking Shiro’s hand and squeezing as they sat in the back. He was wondering lately if they should invest in a car, but that should probably wait until he was making money, not paying tuition. It was nice to think though that maybe in a couple years, he’d have an income too and he could buy Shiro something nice that he deserved. 

They hopped out onto the sidewalk when they got to the jeweler and let go of each other’s hands, but stayed close as they walked inside and up to the glass case where an older woman in glasses greeted them. 

“Hi, there should be some wedding bands ready?” Shiro said first. “Takashi Shirogane.”

“Oh yes! The white gold?”

“Those are the ones.” Shiro grinned and his smile made Keith’s heart pound. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

They watched her leave and Keith blushed when he felt Shiro’s hand come to rest on his lower back. He was starting to feel like a husband already. 

The woman returned with a black velvet box and opened it to reveal the rings they’d picked out together. Two silver colored bands with an engraved wavy line running through the middle for decoration. It reminded Keith of Shiro’s hair and he couldn’t wait to wear it every day. She looked up at Keith with an eyebrow raised. “You must be quite the best friend to come along.”

“Oh.” Shiro laughed and snaked his arm all the way around Keith’s waist. “No, this is actually my fiancé.”

“Hm.” Her mouth flattened into a judgemental line. “I wasn’t aware we served that type of couple.” 

Keith’s chest tightened, but he held steady. They were getting married. No one had the right to judge their relationship and for the first time, he was more tired of it than he was afraid. “Looks like you just did.” He shrugged, closing the lid on the jewelry box and taking it. They’d paid in advance, so a dramatic exit was well within reason. “Come on, Baby.” He said, getting up on his toes and giving Shiro a kiss. It was chaste, but he did linger, bringing his hand up to cup Shiro’s cheek before he pulled away. “I think me and you are late for a coffee date, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Shiro breathed, his cheeks pink and eyes wide as he let Keith take his hand again. “Let’s go.”

Keith lead him out, jewelry in hand as they walked back out onto the street. 

“Keith, holy shit.” Shiro gaped when Keith tugged him out onto the sidewalk. 

“Was I too much?” Keith winced. “I don’t know, I just thought I should try and-”

“Wait.” Shiro said, looking around before taking Keith by the wrist and tugging him into the alley next to the store. 

“What are you doing?” Keith laughed, letting Shiro pull him behind a dumpster that definitely hadn’t been emptied recently and push him up against the wall. 

Shiro answered by pressing their lips together, holding Keith against the brick wall and easing his tongue into his mouth with a quiet moan. “I love you.” He mumbled against Keith’s lips. “Fucking love you standing up for us like that.”

“Shiro you’re  _ hard _ .” Keith snorted, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s shoulders and nuzzling their noses together. “You’re that worked up because I made some snarky comment?”

“Mhm.” Shiro nodded. “You’ve been making so much progress and you know I love it when you’re protective and assertive.”

“I am not giving you a handjob in an alleyway.”

“Fair enough.” Shiro cracked a smile and kissed him again, softer this time. “Uh… Give me a second to calm down and we’ll go get coffee?”

“Sure.” Keith grinned, reaching up to stroke his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “You’re so cute.”

“I’m just so in love with you.” Shiro sighed, touching their foreheads together. “Our wedding’s gonna kick ass.”

“Fuck yeah it is.” Keith said as he pulled away and reached for Shiro’s hand. “Come on Lover Boy. I need caffeine.”

**

Keith didn’t know if his heart had ever been this full. From ordering for them both at the café instead of awkwardly standing behind Shiro, to the way Shiro let Keith lay him out and fuck him into oblivion the night after, he just felt so happy. 

They packed their bags the next day and headed to the hotel, Keith hugging Kosmo for a good five minutes and kissing his furry head goodbye before they sent him back to the Holts to stay until they returned from the honeymoon. 

They had a perfect rehearsal dinner. Keith got to see his mom and all the paladins gave toasts that made his eyes water. The food was amazing and everything was set for the ceremony. It felt so good to be supported. He was marrying a man and everyone loved him, loved  _ them _ just the same. All that shit he’d dealt with as a teen was so far behind him. He was going to be married to his best friend now and gender didn’t matter. They’d be the same as every other married couple. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Baby.” Shiro cooed when they said their goodbyes in the hotel hallway. Keith was a little bummed to spend a night apart, but he knew he’d light up the moment he saw Shiro at the altar in the morning. “You’re gonna be beautiful.”

“Thanks, Takashi.” Keith melted, hugging him tight. “I’m so happy.”

“Me too.” Shiro kissed his forehead and squeezed back. “I’ll see you at the altar, Love. I’ll be right down the hall.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Keith pulled away and got on his toes to kiss Shiro properly one more time before their wedding day, relishing in how warm and soft Shiro’s lips were. “Goodnight.”

They stepped apart and Keith made himself turn away, pulling his room key from his pocket as he went up to his private room and opened the door, Shiro heading in the opposite direction. He wished he could curl right up with Shiro and talk all night about how excited they were and how awesome the ceremony was gonna be, who would get wasted at their reception. He knew a night apart would make things a little more special though, so he went into his room, stripped down and flopped onto the bed. 

He was a little buzzed off good wine and it  _ had _ been an exhausting day, so he went ahead and shut the light off to get a good night’s sleep before the best day of his life.

He fell asleep pretty fast, but woke up again at two in the morning to his phone buzzing under his pillow. Who the fuck was calling in the middle of the night? Keith grabbed his phone and swiped the screen without looking, yawning as he answered. “Hello?”

“Keith?” Shiro sniffled and Keith’s eyes flew open. 

“Hey, hey, what’s up Baby?” Keith asked. 

“I’m really sorry, I know we’re not supposed to talk until tomorrow, but I just had a nightmare and I-I woke up without you and I didn’t know where I was and-”

“Whoa, whoa. I’m coming to you.” Keith said as he pushed himself up out of bed, searching for something to throw on. 

“Keith, no you don’t have to do that, I-I can just talk to you for a minute and I’ll probably be fine.”

“Takashi, I don’t care about some dumb tradition. You shouldn’t be alone right now.” Keith tried to fumble through his suitcase in the dark before he stopped and rolled his eyes. Shiro was right down the hall. “I’m coming right now.” Who would see him anyways?

Keith hung up the phone and walked right out the door, looking up and down the hall to make sure he was alone before he ran down to Shiro’s door and knocked. 

Shiro opened the door and raised his eyebrows at the sight of Keith in just a pair of boxer briefs. 

“I was in a rush.” Keith shrugged, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Come here.” He put his hands on Shiro’s cheeks. He looked adorable, wearing the black silk robe he’d of course brought from home. Keith could see his eyes were pink and wet though. “Shit, you poor thing.” He sighed as he leaned in to kiss Shiro’s cheek. “You want to talk about it?”

Shiro shook his head. “It wasn’t even a really bad one, but when I woke up some place unfamiliar like this…”

Keith nodded in understanding and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Let me spend the night here and I’ll sneak back to my room in the morning before Pidge and my mom come to help me get ready, yeah? No one has to know.”

“Okay.” Shiro breathed. “Sorry, I know I was the one who suggested we do this.”

“You can’t help having an episode.” Keith said, taking Shiro’s hand to lead him back to bed. “Come here.” He untied his fiancé’s robe and dropped it for him, smiling at Shiro’s dorky underwear. 

“I didn’t think you’d be here.” Shiro laughed. 

“You know I think your tighty whities are cute as fuck.” Keith teased, running his fingertips around the waistband before he turned and pulled the covers back. “Come here, Hubby.”

“Shut up.” Shiro laughed, letting Keith crawl in bed first before he joined him, slotting himself into Keith’s side to hike his leg up over him and nestle into Keith’s chest. “Thanks for coming.”

“I’ll always come for you.” Keith said with a wink, pulling the comforter up over their shoulders and giving Shiro’s forehead a kiss goodnight. “Wake me if you need me, Takashi. I’m right here.”

**

“Shiro!” Keith gasped. “We’re getting married in like  _ three hours _ .”

“Says the one who seduced me this morning.” Shiro said as he bucked his hips and Keith’s back arched. 

“I meant to tease you, not end up with your dick in my ass.” Keith laughed, his face red as he clung to Shiro and rolled his hips back against him. “Fuck, we’re ridiculous. W-We gotta finish fast.”

“Turn over then.” Shiro said, pulling out, so Keith could flip onto his stomach, legs spread and hips hiked up just enough for Shiro to lay on top of him and push in again. 

They both moaned at the change in positioning and Keith buried his face in the pillow as Shiro gave it to him. They’d had the presence of mind to be extra careful with prep even if it had been a little spontaneous, so he wouldn’t be sore for the actual wedding night sex, but  _ God _ , Keith’s eyes were rolling back at the pace Shiro was setting. 

“You’re so good.” Shiro murmured as he pumped back and forth. “So good for me, Baby. Rushing over here in your underwear to take care of me and waking me up with your hand on my dick.”

“ _ Shiroooo _ .” Keith groaned. “Don’t dirty talk, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

Shiro let out a satisfied chuckle and snapped his hips to make Keith cry out. 

It only took another minute for Keith to cum, whimpering as he rubbed himself against the sheets and pushed back against Shiro’s thrusts. A little too late, he felt Shiro cum too. He loved the feeling of being filled up, letting Shiro finish inside him, so that they were close and together all the way to the finish line. It was how they always did it, but as soon as Keith came down from the high of orgasm, he squeaked and smacked at Shiro’s shoulder until he pulled out of him. 

“We’re horny idiots.” Keith sighed. “Did I really just let you cum in my ass when I’m supposed to be sneaking back to my hotel room?”

“Shh, shh, I got you.” Shiro cooed, turning Keith back over and kissing his forehead. “Give me one second. I’ll get you all cleaned up and send you on your way, okay?”

“Okay.” Keith pouted, feigning a little annoyance as Shiro got out of bed and went into the bathroom. “You’re making a pretty indecent bride out of me, Takashi.”

“You started this, Babe.” Shiro said when he came out of the bathroom with a damp cloth and came over to give him a kiss, his tongue brushing into Keith’s mouth to draw a tiny moan out of him before they parted and Shiro went to work. He wiped the cum off of Keith’s stomach and his dick, reaching between his legs to clean that up too. He picked Keith’s underwear up off the floor and handed it back to him before picking up his robe. “Here.” He said when Keith got his boxers back on. 

Keith stood up and blushed as Shiro slipped the robe onto him, tying it around his waist and giving him one more kiss on the forehead. 

“I’m glad you spent the night.” Shiro smiled. “See you at the altar, okay?”

“Okay.” Keith said, grinning as he gave Shiro one more soft kiss on the lips. “See ya, Hubby.”

“You can’t call me that yet!”

Keith snickered as he pulled away and turned to blow Shiro one last kiss before he stepped out into the hallway to run back to his room. 

“J’accuse!” Pidge shouted from the other end of the hall, pointing a finger at him as she stood in front of his hotel room door. Shit. “Kogane, are you really such a slut you couldn’t go one night?”

“Uh… Yeah. Kinda.” Keith laughed as he walked down the hall towards her.

“Are you in his robe?” Pidge cocked an eyebrow. 

“...Possibly.” Keith walked up to the room and went to turn the handle of the door, groaning when it didn’t budge. “Fuck, I left my key in there.”

“Are you serious?”

“Pidge?” Krolia turned the corner into the hallway and stopped. “Oh, you found him.” She stopped and looked him over. “Oh.”

“Hi Mom.” Keith sighed, hanging his head a little in shame as he leaned against the locked door. “I… may have locked myself out.”

“And where were you?”

“Uh…  _ Not _ with my husband-to-be?”

Krolia and Pidge rolled their eyes at the same time (what the fuck?) and Keith felt his face turn red. “It is a little cute that you two couldn’t wait.” Krolia shrugged. “Hang tight, I’ll go down to the front desk. Pidge, keep him in one place for a little while. 

Keith watched his mom leave and laughed a little when Pidge smacked his arm. “I meant to sneak back earlier, but we got distracted.”

“Gross.” Pidge crinkled her nose. “I’m slut shaming you, Keith. Tsk tsk.”

“I can’t help it.” Keith smiled. “Can you believe I’m marrying him? I was such a fuck up until Voltron happened and he just… I mean, shit, he’s been with me since I was just an angry orphan getting bullied every day.”

“It’s a pretty kick ass love story.” Pidge sighed. “Everyone’s really happy for you guys, you know. Pretty sure people a galaxy away have heard that you guys are getting married.”

“It feels unreal.” Keith could feel the tiniest twinge of soreness between his legs, a reminder that they were so in love, they couldn’t even pry themselves away from each other for a single night. It felt good, reaffirming. “You guys didn’t plan anything too crazy for my hair, did you?”

“My wedding gift to you is not making you look ridiculous.”

**

It took a little longer to get ready than Keith anticipated. He got the suit on and Pidge spent an hour putting makeup on his face, blending it to make it look natural and cover up any zits on Keith’s face. He thought it was silly, but he couldn’t complain when he looked in the mirror. They hadn’t covered up the scar, leaving it as a sign of his history with Shiro, how far they went back. 

Looking in the mirror, he felt so much like a new person, but still himself all the same. It was a new era. 

“You ready, Kiddo?” Krolia asked, clapping his back as she walked up to the mirror with him. 

“Yeah.” Keith grinned. “I think I’m good to go.”

“Let’s do this then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i think i'm going to take an extra week possibly to write the wedding chapter oof i'm going to try and get it up earlier than that, but it may be a little late :(


	21. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WEDDING TIIIIIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited wedding chapter!!!

Keith was positive he was dreaming. He knew that these were the flowers and decoration they chose, the suits they’d bought, the rings they picked out together, but seeing Shiro at the end of the aisle with so much love and light in his eyes felt unreal.  _ That _ was about to be his husband. 

They’d thought for a long time about writing their own vows, but decided in the end that they would just end up crying their way through them. He was already tearing up when Krolia walked him down the aisle, up to the altar to meet Shiro where he could take his hands and squeeze them, taking a deep breath when he met Shiro’s eyes and then Coran - who was of course officiating - began the ceremony. 

He told their story from start to finish. He talked to their friends and family about how Shiro gave Keith chance after chance, how Keith stayed by his side when Shiro was sick. He told the stories of Keith saving Shiro in space, time and time again and Keith couldn’t resist reaching up to brush the tear from Shiro’s cheek when it fell. He had to admit, Coran did a pretty great job of telling their story without going into  _ too _ much detail, less both of them start bawling their eyes out. They were holding it together pretty well into they got to the ‘I do’s.’ 

“Keith? Do you take Shiro to be your lawfully wedded partner to have and to hold, in sickness and in health-”

Coran stopped when a quiet sob fell from Shiro’s lips and Keith’s heart melted on the spot, seeing Shiro with his eyes welled up and his lips quivering. He could care less about preserving the tradition of the ceremony. “Hey.” He murmured, wiping the tears away again and squeezing Shiro’s hands, kissing his cheek. “You’re healthy now. We made it through and I’d love you just as much if you were still sick. You got that?”

“Yeah.” Shiro laughed, sniffling a little as their friends and family aww’d at the moment. “Sorry, Coran. Keep going.”

“Don’t make me cry too.” Coran pouted before he resumed the vows. 

They exchanged I do’s, in a rush to get to the kiss and Keith didn’t waste a moment the very second they got the go ahead, leaping into Shiro’s arms at “you may kiss the groom.” and kissing him with more force and love than he ever has before, Shiro’s strong arms holding him up as they share their first kiss as husbands. They’re  _ husbands _ . Keith knew he was crying, but he kept kissing Shiro over and over again while their loved ones cheered. He didn’t even care that he’d jumped onto him like a girl in a movie, he just cared that they were married.

“I love you.” Keith beamed when they finally parted, still held up by Shiro as he pressed their foreheads together. “If I’m Keith Shirogane now, does that mean I’m Shiro too?”

“Shut up.” Shiro teased, setting him down and pulling him into a tight hug, squeezing. “You ready to party?”

“You sound like the biggest dork.” Keith laughed as he took Shiro’s hand and they stepped off the altar. Keith laced their fingers together and waved with his free hand at his mom as they walked back down the aisle together. It felt so good to let her see him happy like this. His heart had never felt so full and so light at the same time. 

They rounded the corner and took advantage of their brief moment alone before the reception kicked off, Shiro pressing Keith up against the wall and kissing him, deep and heated. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything, Keith.” He said as he nuzzled their noses together. “I am so fucking happy.”

“Me too.” Keith gushed, arms around Shiro’s neck. “You gonna turn me out on the dancefloor?”

“You bet, Mr. Shirogane.” Shiro teased, smacking a final kiss to Keith’s forehead. “How do you think Lance’s toast is gonna go?”

“Oh God.”

“Come on.” Shiro laughed, giving Keith’s hand a squeeze. “We’ve got overpriced catering to eat.”

**

Keith was stuck between wanting to enjoy every second of their wedding and wanting the whole thing to be over, so he could drag Shiro off to their honeymoon suite, but the toasts put him through the emotional wringer. He teared up when their friends toasted them, even when Lance talked about the running bet the paladins all had on how long it would take for them to get officially together. Apparently Hunk had won. Allura talked about how Keith had never left Shiro’s side when they were bringing him back from the astral plane and Matt talked about all the things he saw Shiro do for Keith back at the Garrison, how Shiro had saved his own life too. His mom talked about how thankful she was for Shiro taking care of Keith when she couldn’t. 

Keith got up during Krolia’s toast and went to hug her, squeezing tight as she told him how proud his dad would have been.

“You okay?” Shiro asked when he sat back down and Keith let himself be pulled into a brief kiss, allowing Shiro’s warmth to soothe him. 

“I’m good.” Keith smiled, giving his hand a squeeze under the table. “I’m really happy even if Dad couldn’t be here. I have Mom now. I have you.”

They smeared wedding cake on each other’s faces and drank a little too much champagne, Keith staying pressed close to Shiro’s side until dinner was over and it was time for the party. 

They let everyone have at the open bar and kept to themselves a little on the dancefloor, Keith laughing as Shiro spun him around, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him through every one of the slower songs.

“Do you feel any different?” Shiro asked, one hand holding Keith’s and one resting on the small of his back as they swayed to the music. 

“A little bit.” Keith said, leaning his head on Shiro’s shoulder. “It feels good to be your husband. It’s kind of like everything we’ve been through and our relationship is validated. I feel less scared about being with you in the public eye and everything now that we’re married.”

“I’m so glad we didn’t wait to do this.” Shiro sighed, holding Keith a little closer as their friends danced around them. “I just want to broadcast to the whole world that Keith Kogane’s my husband, you know?”

“Shirogane.”

“Oh shit, that’s right!” Shiro laughed, pressing a big kiss to Keith’s forehead. “That’ll take some getting used to.” 

“I guess if I come back to the Garrison to help with that mental health thing, I can update my dog tags.”

“I have no idea why that turns me on, but it does.” Shiro grinned, nudging his shoulder, so Keith would lift his head and he could kiss him, a little dirtier than they’d been doing so far, but no one was paying close attention. Everyone was a little drunk, the dance floor was dark. Keith parted his lips and let his husband’s tongue brush over his lower lip, blushing into the kiss as he slid one hand up into Shiro’s hair, scratching it a little where it was thinner and a little fuzzy. He loved every part of Shiro so god damn much. He loved how their lips fit perfectly together, how warm and soothing even a heated kiss could be with him. He loved their height difference, how he just had to lean up a little and Shiro had to just barely lean down to meet his lips. He adored how firm Shiro’s chest was, his broad shoulders and all his scars. 

“It feels good to be yours.” Keith murmured when they parted, his face flushed as he pressed one more soft kiss to Shiro’s cheek.  _ God _ , his skin was soft. “How much longer until you think we can leave without it being rude?”

“Everyone’s pretty drunk already.” Shiro laughed, glancing around them. Pidge was trying to breakdance and Lance kept trying to spin Allura too fast. “You want to circle around and say goodbye?”

“Fuck yes.” Keith said, grabbing Shiro’s hands and tugging him off to go thank everyone for coming. 

They made an efficient cycle. Keith went to his mom first, hugged her and thanked her before they did the same with the paladins and Coran, their friends from the Garrison. As soon as they were sure they’d said goodbye and thanked everyone who was sober enough to remember it, they bolted, snickering as they raced out and towards the elevators in the hotel lobby. 

Shiro pressed the button over and over until the doors opened and tugged Keith inside, hitting the number for their floor and pulling Keith into a deep kiss. 

“Mmph.” Keith mumbled against him, letting Shiro press him against the wall of the elevator as it rose up to their floor. He ran his tongue along Shiro’s before the doors opened and they dashed out together. 

Shiro fumbled to unlock the door to their suite and pushed it open to reveal a room with a plush king-sized bed, an ice bucket with champagne beside it. Their suitcases were by the door and Keith could see into the bathroom where an enormous tub waited for them to celebrate their marriage consummation in afterwards. 

“We should get changed.” Keith grinned, just as eager to put on the lingerie he’d picked out for himself as he was to see what Shiro chose. They’d agreed to go all out, no holds barred, as long as they felt good in it. 

“I’ll take the bathroom.” Shiro said, giving Keith one more kiss before he grabbed his suitcase and went to shut himself in the restroom to maintain the element of surprise. 

Keith waited until Shiro was shut away and unzipped his suitcase to take out the lingerie he’d chosen for himself. It was definitely more out there than anything he’d put on before, but the panties were made for men. It had comfortable space for his bulge and when he tried it on at home, it wasn’t even uncomfortable.

He slipped into a pair of dark red lace panties that easily stretched over his hips. He kind of liked the way they cradled his cock, made his ass look a little fuller. It almost felt silly, but he coupled it with a pair of sheer thigh high socks and an equally see through chiffon tank top that allowed his nipples to show through, the straps made of the same lace as the panties. He was careful to hang his tux properly in the closet and set the lube on the nightstand before he went to lay himself out over the lush pink bedspread. It was pretty corny, but Keith loved all of it. A cheesy honeymoon suite, the sluttiest outfit he’d ever worn. It was fun to share it with Shiro. 

“Are you ready?” Shiro called from behind the bathroom door and Keith laughed at the ceremony of it all. 

“I’m ready.” Keith blushed, turning his head to watch as Shiro opened the door and stepped out. “Holy. Shit.”

“Do you like it?” Shiro’s face turned red. “Is it too much?” His eyes wandered over Keith and his cheeks flushed further. “Wow. You look incredible.”

“You look like a fucking model.” Keith said, sitting up just to get a better look at him. Shiro was in a full lace bodysuit, swimsuit style so it stopped at the very beginning of his thighs and rose over his chest like a tank top, highlighting his arms and completely see through. Keith could see his cock easily and he was wearing thigh highs too, sheer white socks attached to the body suit by black garters around his hips. “Alright I felt kinky about this when we first bought our stuff, but we are getting more of this shit.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Shiro laughed, shutting off the bathroom light and walking up to the side of the bed, taking Keith’s hand and bringing it up to kiss his wedding ring. “You look so fucking gorgeous right now.”

“You do too. I almost don’t want to take that off of you.” Keith grinned before taking Shiro by the hand and pulling him onto the bed, having him lie over him, so he could lean up and pull him into a kiss, one hand sliding up into Shiro’s hair. 

“Mm.” Shiro purred into the kiss, lowering his hips to grind against Keith a little through the thin fabrics of their lingerie. 

Keith let one hand slide down Shiro’s back, feeling the warmth of his skin through the lace as he tasted the champagne still on his tongue, pressing his hips up to meet with Shiro’s as they kissed deeply and rutted together in slow, rolling motions. He kept sliding his hand down, moving it over the curve of Shiro’s ass and pulling aside the hem of the body suit, so he could grab it and just feel the true smoothness of his skin, how plush and muscular it was. “I love your ass.” He laughed a little as Shiro turned his head and kissed down his neck. “Can’t believe I’m the bottom most of the time.”

“You could fuck me tonight if you want to.”

“It’s okay, I feel more intimate like this. I get too distracted by your ass when I top you and I wanna focus on your soul and shit.”

“My soul?” Shiro teased as he leaned up to nibble on Keith’s ear. “Mm Baby, your  _ soul _ is so fucking big.”

“Shut up!” Keith cackled, spanking him hard to make Shiro yelp before he flipped their position, pinning Shiro on his back and sitting in his lap. “It’s our wedding night, let me be cheesy.”

“You’re just so cute.” Shiro smiled, propping himself up on his elbows and sighing when Keith rolled his hips. There was already a wet spot on the front of Keith’s panties and Shiro’s bodysuit. 

Keith purred when Shiro ran his human hand underneath what he was wearing, sliding up his side until his thumb was brushing over his nipple. Shiro leaned up and lifted Keith’s top, bending down to suck his nipple into his mouth, running his tongue over the nub and nibbling a little. 

“Mm.” Keith sighed, his head tipping back as Shiro sucked on his chest. “I love when you do that.”

“Mhm?” Shiro hummed when he lifted his head again, kissing over Keith’s collar and reaching his hand around to slip into Keith’s panties and palm over his ass. “I bet we can find you some more lingerie like this when we get to Japan. You look so fucking good.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you kept dressing up either.” Keith said, reaching back to take Shiro’s hand and guide it back to his front, pushing it over his bulge and grinning when Shiro squeezed it, playing with his cock through the lace. “You want to get me out of these?”

“Fuck yeah.” Shiro breathed, pushing Keith onto his back again and kissing him deeply before he sat back on his heels to work the panties down Keith’s thighs and off, leaving the socks on. “You’re so fucking pretty.” He whispered as he bent down and licked a stripe up the underside of Keith’s erection, making him squirm underneath him before he took his cock in his hand and wrapped his lips around the tip.

“Nnn, Shiro.” Keith whined, spreading his legs as Shiro moved his mouth further down and sucked. Keith just shut his eyes and used one hand to toy with his nipple as he let Shiro blow him, pushing his hips up to meet his mouth and groaning when Shiro flicked his tongue. 

Shiro lifted Keith’s hips and put his hover arm under him to hold him up as he trailed his mouth lower, running his tongue over Keith’s balls before kissing down his perineum and finally licking over his rim. 

“Oh fuck.” Keith whimpered. “Takashi, I’ll do whatever you fucking want if you eat my ass right now.”

“It’s our wedding night. I’m not gonna  _ not _ eat your ass.” Shiro teased, sliding his free hand up Keith’s thigh just to stroke the smooth skin as he ate him out, working his tongue harder than Keith had ever felt him do before. 

Keith opened himself up to him and found that he wasn’t thinking even a little bit if anyone around them in the hotel could hear. He didn’t care. He was Shiro’s husband now, Keith Shirogane, and he honest to God didn’t care at that moment if the whole world knew he was getting a rim job from Shiro, arguably the most desired man in the galaxy.  He moaned openly, as loud as he wanted to, his muscles relaxing at Shiro’s touch until he got desperate enough to hand him the lube. “Please.” He sighed when Shiro took the bottle. “Get naked, but leave those socks on.”

“You’re so cute right now.” Shiro grinned, giving his hole one more soft lick before he sucked a mark onto Keith’s thigh, teasing him just a little more before pulling away and letting Keith watch him peel out of the body suit. 

Keith almost groaned at the sight of his cock alone, already desperate to have it inside of him as he watched Shiro slick up his fingers and crawl back onto bed. He took initiative himself to sit up and peel out of his top, tossing it onto the floor with the rest of their discarded lingerie before he spread his legs wide for Shiro to settle in between as he worked his first finger in. 

“You’ve been so amazing today.” Shiro said, easing his index finger inside and curling it to make Keith purr. “Thanks for comforting me when I started to lose it at the ceremony a little.”

“Baby, I’ll always comfort you.” Keith sighed as Shiro pushed his second finger in and worked them around to stretch them. “You always make me feel safe and stuff. Wanna do it for you too.”

Shiro slid his third finger inside and Keith groaned as he worked at his prostate, stretching him and making him preen at the same time. He used his dry hand to take Keith’s, bringing it to his lips and kissing the ring again before lacing their fingers together. “You ready for me?”

“Always.”

Shiro slicked himself up and smeared some excess lube around Keith’s entrance just to make sure nothing would hurt as he lowered himself over Keith and lined himself up, still holding his hand as he pushed inside. 

Keith wrapped his free arm around Shiro’s neck and sighed as he filled him up, pressing a few kisses to Shiro’s shoulder to urge him on. He loved the warmth of being fucked with nothing between them. They’d stopped using condoms a long time ago, but the feeling of skin on skin still made Keith’s mouth water. 

He started off quiet, hushed moans into Shiro’s neck as he started to rock back and forth, just feeling the connection between them, how safe and happy he felt with Shiro holding his hand, fucking him so slowly and intimately. “Takashi.” Keith whimpered when he started to pick up the pace, wrapping his legs around Shiro’s hips. “Fuck.”

“Come here, Baby.” Shiro said, waiting for Keith to lift his head and kissing him, soft and warmed as they rolled their hips together. Keith melted right into him, sighing into the kiss at the steady pace and shivering when Shiro’s tongue brushed up against his. He was so in love. It felt like the kind of thing they describe in cheesy romance novels and bad movies. His heart was just so full it brought tears to his eyes as he kissed his husband. His  _ husband _ . Shiro was his fucking  _ husband _ . “Whoa hey, am I hurting you?” Shiro frowned when he opened his eyes and saw the tears.

“Not at all.” Keith laughed, breathy and blushing as Shiro stilled his hips. “Feels amazing, I’m just so fucking happy.”

“Aw, Keith.” Shiro smiled, kissing the tear tracks off his cheeks and planting one more on his forehead, still gently rocking into him. “I’m happy too. We’re gonna remember this forever.”

“Your dick in my ass with thigh high socks?”

“You’re silly when you’re embarrassed.” Shiro teased, giving him a peck on the lips before the thrusted in with a little more power and Keith yelped. “You want me to give it to you, Baby?”

“Yes.” Keith let out a long sigh and squeezed Shiro’s hand as he picked up the pace and started to fuck him like he wanted to be, murmuring soft words of love and praise as Keith panted and took everything Shiro gave him. He wanted to cum, but he also wanted it to last forever. This was something they’d always remember. Not just the ceremony and the toasts their friends and family gave, but this too. Their first night together as husbands, laughing and moaning,  and feeling more in love than ever before. 

Aside from the lingerie, it was a little vanilla, but it was how they wanted it on this night. Face to face, close to one another, sharing kisses between thrusts of Shiro’s hips as he built Keith slowly up to orgasm. 

“Takshi.” Keith breathed. “Almost there.”

“Me too Baby.” Shiro whispered, sweat breaking on his forehead as he pushed into him and leaned down to nibble on his ear. “You feel so good, Keith. Always so good for me. Best fucking husband I could ask for.”

Keith whined at the words and slipped a hand between them to touch himself. He’d prefer Shiro’s hand, but that would mean he’d have to let go of it. He kept his other hand holding Shiro’s and let his husband build him up and up and up until warmth radiated through his whole body in the most slow, relaxing orgasm he’d ever had. He let out a long, low moan as he spilled over his stomach and clung to Shiro.

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro groaned when he followed his lead, burying himself to the hilt to cum deep inside of him as they panted together and shook through the pleasure. “I love you so much.” He sighed as he started to come down. “So much, Keith.” 

“Come here.” Keith grinned, letting Shiro stay inside as he let go of his hand to wrap his arms around him, Shiro relaxing into his touch and laying over him with the knowledge that Keith could easily and comfortably take his weight. “I love you too.” He said as he pressed kiss after kiss into Shiro’s soft white hair. “More than anything.”

“You saved me.” Shiro whispered, a cheesy grin on his face too when he pressed a kiss to Keith’s cheek. “So many times, Keith. I’m so happy.”

“Me too, Shiro.” Keith said, refusing to let go of him even if he was getting a little sore between his legs. “Don’t let go of me yet.”

“Never, Keith. Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just about it. I'm going to write a shorter epilogue chapter and post it sometime in the next week and that'll be the end! Thank you so much to everyone who's read this far and stuck with this story. I've had a great time writing it!


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long just to get you guys this final little blurb, but it was hard to say goodbye to this fic!

“It’s been a pretty long road to end up back at the Garrison.” Keith laughed as he put his nameplate at the center of his new desk. The office was officially complete. His desk was cluttered with wedding photos and pictures of Kosmo, his degree hung proudly on the wall behind him along with a few cheesy motivational posters. But the best part? Shiro’s office was right around the corner. 

“You happy to be here?”

“Fucking ecstatic.” Keith laughed, slipping a hair tie from his wrist to pull his mullet back in to a more professional ponytail. “Keith Shirogane, Garrison student psychiatrist and mental health coordinator. Ever think you’d hear those words together?”

“I’m happy just with Keith Shirogane.” Shiro grinned, wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist and pulling him into a warm kiss. “You’re gonna kill this, Baby. This is what you were made to do and it’s gonna make such an impact here.”

“Thanks, Takashi.” Keith smiled, holding onto him and resting his head on his husband’s shoulder. “We’ll work on the adoption paperwork when we get home. Now that I’ve got a kickass job, there’s no way the agency can turn us down, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Shiro smiled right back as he gave Keith a squeeze and a kiss on top of his head. “I guess parenthood’s the next adventure for us, yeah? First space war, then marriage and college, now kids.”

“What do you think is after that?”

“A  _ lot _ of old people sex.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but got on his toes to kiss him properly again anyways. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Keith.” Shiro sighed, warm and sincere as he brought his hand up to cup Keith’s face, his thumb tracing over the scar on his cheek that represented so much history between them. “No matter what adventure we’re on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this entire thing, I adore you. Thank you so much for going on this gazillion word ride with me and I can't wait to start posting some of my new WIP's and post the final chapter of On Hands And Knees as well. It's been great getting to know all of you! This is just the start <3

**Author's Note:**

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